Ranma Saotome: The Atomic Kid

Chapter one.

Genma's big...mistake?


"But...but..." stammered Genma as he stared at the man with pleading eyes.

The man was tall, but Genma was at face height because he was sitting on a barstool. He snorted and frowned at the man. "You got wax in yer ears? Get lost."

"You must understand! If the promise is not kept, we'll both die!"

"What?" said the man coldly as he let his shades fall slightly down his nose. His cold blue eyes stared forward with nothing but icy death in them. He was a gaijin, and a terribly frightening one at that. His hair was blonde and cut into a military style buzz.

"Me and the boy! Not you!"

"That's what I thought," snorted the man as he turned back to his beer. "You shouldn't make promises you can't keep mister. I ain't got time to take care of no brats, especially not a bunch of em. Which is what would happen if I took him."

Genma stared at the man in disbelief. "Wha?"

"Who do you think yer talkin too mister?" said the man as he peered into Genma's eyes through the shades.

The smaller man simply nodded, he wasn't even sure why.

"What a wimp," commented the taller man irritably.

He paused at the sight of what was next to him. The young child, a six-year-old boy, was waving for another beer as he put down the glass on the table. He had a cheerful grin on his face as he belched loudly and turned to look the tall man in the eyes.

Genma's eyes went wide as he noticed the man staring at his son. "Ranma! What do you think you are doing?!"

The boy looked at his father in confusion. "Havin a beer. Why? That bartender sure is slow though. Hey! Over here moron!" The boy picked up an ashtray and nailed the man in the back of his head.

"This yer kid?" said the man as he stood stiffly from his stool. He didn't sound very happy.

"Yes," muttered Genma numbly.

"A guy like you doesn't deserve a son like this kid. I'll take him off yer hands; he'll come when I feel like bringing him back. I want to make sure none of your wussiness rubs off on him."

Ranma merely smiled, completely unaware of what the men were talking about.

Genma turned to look at the boy. "Very well." Oddly, he didn't appear to even be slightly irritated with the man for his comments. "Ranma my son. You will go with this man, he is to be your sensei."

The boy simply shrugged his shoulders and nodded. "Sure." It wasn't something that was unusual; he'd gone off with various people for a few weeks to learn a bit. Sooner or later, his father would come and pick him up. They were usually old men. Few of them had any kids, and they usually had lots of weird rules you had to follow 'because you're staying in my home'. This didn't appear to be any different, but this man was only a little older than his father.

"Show some respect boy!" snapped Genma as he punched the boy over his head. It wasn't very hard, but he paused when he noticed the man watching with an arched eyebrow.

"Don't discourage the attitude. It's part of being a real man."

Genma merely nodded and stepped back a little.

"Come on kid, I'm takin you fer a ride."

"Okay sensei," replied Ranma as he turned to follow.

The man paused in the act of straddling a gigantic Harley Davidson motorcycle. He sat down all the way and snorted. "Kid, don't call me sensei, only the Geisha are allowed to do that."

The boy hopped on the back of the bike as the man jerked his thumb to indicate that was what he wanted. "What should I call you then?"


"That's a strange name," commented the boy.

"Yeah, but it fits," replied the man stonily.

Ranma noticed this, and realized that the man's tone and expression had never changed during the entire deal that led to him leaving with him. "Okay Duke-semp..."

"Just Duke, no sempai, or san, or any o 'that crap."



Years later...

[Sorry, I must insert evil laughter here. Ahem. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!]

It was a breezy afternoon in the middle of a grassy field. Two men stood alone, both with stubble on their faces and well built forms.

They were both dressed relatively the same. The older one in a red muscle shirt with blue jeans and a gold belt buckle. The buckle had radioactive symbol on the front of it.

The younger man had a silver buckle, and a black shirt. Oddly enough, neither one of them was armed at the time.

"He ain't here yet."

"I know."

Neither showed any emotion throughout the conversation. It didn't even really matter who had said the words.

"So, this guy's a wuss huh?"

"Yup," replied the older of the two. Duke Nukem, he had a few more years on him now, but still looked pretty much exactly the same.

The other was a boy of about eighteen years. His black shades hid his eyes from view, and his face had well formed stubble on it. Unlike the older man's military style cut, the younger boy had his hair tied back in a long pigtail. It went almost to the middle of his back.

"Should I kill him?"

"Up to you."

"Ah, good."

Duke wasn't sure what to say to the reply, because he didn't know if the kid was talking about killing his father, or the fact that the man had just arrived.

"Well, I'll be seein you around kid."

The younger one turned his head and frowned at Duke ever so slightly, but his eyes conveyed what appeared to be more than passing annoyance.

Duke chuckled for a moment as he reached into his pocket for the keys to his bike. "You learn to lose that glare, and you might learn what it really means to be a man, kid. There isn't much in life that's worth more than a calm stare."

The boy snorted at this and looked at the Japanese man that was approaching them. "Guess so. Hey Duke."

The older man paused in the act of walking away and glanced over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for the ride, all of it."

"Ride ain't over yet kid," said Duke as he continued to walk back to where he'd parked his bike.

"Where is my son?" snapped the man as he finally moved within speaking distance. "Where is Ranma?"

"What the hell are you talkin about old man? Yer lookin at him."

Genma paused and frowned his son. "You are not my son! Ranma is only sixteen!"

"No shit."


"What the hell did ya think would happen ya putz? You sent me with him so he'd make me a man didn't you?"

"My god!" said Genma as his eyes trembled in amazement. "Nodoka will be so pleased!"

"Yeah, great," replied Ranma stonily.

"Let's be off!" said Genma cheerfully.

"Where are we goin?" said Ranma casually as he looked around at the path they had started walking down by this point.

"To China of course!" said Genma cheerfully.

"What?" said his son as he actually skipped a step in his pace.

"You have to learn your family's martial arts style. I'm sure you've kept up practice of course, but it is important to the name and honor of our family for me to complete your training in your family's style of martial arts.

"Oh, road trip. Cool," said Ranma as he continued to walk.

Genma wasn't sure what to make of that statement, he couldn't tell if it was sarcastic or not.


Several months later...

"I said no."

"What do you mean 'no'?"

Genma Saotome was furious, but his son was completely calm. He stared his father dead in the eyes and simply frowned.


"I'm not asking permission! I'm telling you! This is a matter of supreme honor! We must..."

"Don't care."

"What?" muttered Genma as he stared at his son.

"Don't care. Don't make me repeat myself again. You know I hate that." The boy was almost as tall as his father, and his physique was nothing to scoff at either.

Genma stared him down fearlessly. "You'll do it or I'll make you!"

Ranma's eyebrow arched ever so slightly.


Meanwhile, at the Tendo home...

Kasumi frowned as she saw her father turn the page of the paper. She thought they sounded like silly comic books. She'd tried to read them once, but couldn't get into it. Most of the really important stuff involved some strange Gaijin. They were always at war with some sort of alien race in America it seemed sometimes. There had been a little spill over in Japan, but it was mostly the southern island of Okinawa. Apparently it was a very big deal, but it wasn't all that important in her little part of the world. There was no real connection to any of it in her environment, other than a few conversations about world news from time to time.

Soun seemed to enjoy them; he read them every day. He was so amused that the little veins in his head popped out whenever he read them. He was positively red with merriment.

Her father soon recovered from this and was back to normal though. He did give her odd looks from time to time. She wasn't quite sure what to make of it. He never looked at Akane or Nabiki that way, and she seriously doubted if it was some sort of perversion just from the look he had on his face when she noticed it in fleeting glimpses.

Soun sighed as he put the paper down on the tabletop. "Duke Nukem saves the world yet again. Another happy ending."

"That's very good father," said Kasumi cheerfully. "I've brought the mail in."

Soun merely smiled at his daughter and accepted the pile of letters, and a single postcard. All else in his hands was discarded as he stood up with the postcard clutched firmly in his hands.


A tall red head stood in front of a gigantic wet panda in the rain on the streets of Nerima. Rain drenched down her well-muscled body. Her black muscle shirt did nothing to hide her breast from view, and her baggy blue jeans were held in place with a large silver buckle.

The panda flipped skillfully in the air and came towards the girl in a flying kick.

The girl simply shifted back and launched a vicious uppercut that took the animal across its jaw. "Yer too slow."

Genma growled angrily as he staggered to his feet. The boy had learned the basics of his family's art when he was young. It showed now, he had been practicing. However, the style was now somewhat different. Ranma mixed the strength and speed of Saotome style Anything Goes, with common street fighting techniques. It wasn't very graceful, but it was powerful and effective. Genma's head spun as he slammed onto his back from the force of the blow.

He stood up and wiped his chin, his son was calmly walking away. Well, his daughter at any rate. It was time the boy learned some respect. He clenched a nearby street sign in his claws and ripped it up. "You're going boy, whether you like it or not," thought the panda as it chuckled evilly.


"Oh my! There's someone at the door!"

"Ooh! It must be...woah."

A young girl was holding a rather large panda over her shoulder as she stalked into the room. It was impossible to miss the fact that she was a girl, as her shirt was slightly torn and her left breast was hanging out. "Hey."

"Uhhh. Hello?" stammered Soun.

"This the Tendo place?"

"Oh! Yes!" said Kasumi with a shocked expression on her face.

Akane simply stared dumbly at the mess in front of her. "Are you all right?"

"These chicks yer daughters?" said Ranma as she frowned at the man in front of her.

"Uhhh...yes?" muttered Soun.

"I thought you said there were babes here old man."

Everyone stared at her for a moment as she glared at the animal and slammed it on the ground forcefully.

"There are! There are!" said the desperate animal's sign.

"Um, excuse me..." said Nabiki as she started to grow annoyed.

Ranma simply trained his eyes on her. "D'ya mind? I'm talkin to the panda right now."

"Babes?" muttered Akane. "Why would there be any cute guys here?"

"It appears as if someone has lied to her. Oh my!" said Kasumi as she blushed a bit.

"Is there something we can help you with? Or did you just barge into our home to be weird?" said Nabiki as she stepped up in front of the girl and frowned directly into her face.

Akane didn't seem that bothered by it anymore either, and she seemed to be moving towards angry as well.

Ranma frowned very slightly and turned to face them. "I'm Ranma Saotome. Nice to meet you."

Soun's eyes rolled back into his head and he slumped to the ground out cold.

"Daddy!" cried Akane in shock.

"You're a girl!?" cried Nabiki as she stared at her.

"No," replied Ranma calmly.

"Oh my!" muttered Kasumi in confusion.

"Do you really need those glasses? You're inside now." Nabiki attempted to get a grasp on the situation.

"Don't talk about my shades babe."

"I'm sorry. We're being very rude. I'm Akane. You want to be friends?"

The redhead turned to look at her for a moment. The girls were hardly what he'd call 'babes' but they were all cute in a young sort of way. It wasn't that bad being the only conscious man in the room. Well, it wouldn't be if he was.

"Yeah. Whatever."

"Great! I'll show you the dojo! You practice kenpo right?"

"Practice? Nah. I own it."

Akane seemed slightly confused by that response.

"So this is your place huh? Your room."

"No, this is the dojo," said Akane dumbly.

"Nah. This is your room. I can tell."

Akane blushed as she realized what the girl was talking about. "Um, kinda yeah."

"I been to a few of the smaller ones before. Most dojo are essentially the same. Just the same stuff arranged slightly differently."

"You've been around a bit?"

"A lot farther than ya think."

"Well. Let's have a little match then. I want to see some of what you learned." Akane said it cheerfully, but with a challenging tone as well.

Ranma merely chuckled. "I'm not at my best now, but I think I can handle it."

Akane gasped as the girl tossed the dogi she tossed to her aside. "Your clothes are constrictive. Just change first so we..."

"Nah. I always fight like this."

"Huh?" said Akane as she realized that the girl had a dangerous looking glint in her eyes.

"All right." The honor of her dojo was at stake, even if it was only a simple contest. She would have to fight her best, as to not dishonor her name, or the name of her opponent's school.

Ranma didn't care a lick about any of what Akane was thinking about. He was more smug amusement. "So, this chick thinks she can take me, huh?" Akane stood across from her ready to bow. Ranma spoke before that though. "Bring it on." She waved with her hand for Akane to move forward.

The girl gasped. Ranma was making this a personal matter, she had refused to bow. Akane wasn't sure what to make of that. "I'd better not hold back. Either she's mad at our school, or she wants to make sure I go all out!" Her thoughts were broken as she found herself rushing forward in a quick snap kick aimed at the girl's gut.

Ranma shifted aside like a boxer in a closed stance. Her forearms were shielding her face and breasts, and she wove around another spinning kick aimed at her head.

Akane pushed back with her feet as she landed and stopped her momentum suddenly after a short hop. She tucked her fists at her sides and pushed forward again. This time her fist blurred by and around the redhead's skillful dodging.

Again she jumped back gasping for breath. "This is unreal! Why hasn't she finished me yet?" She turned her eyes towards her opponent. "Why aren't you attacking? What's wrong? Hit me!"

"That wouldn't be very fair at all," replied the girl as if she'd asked for the time.

Akane's eyes went wide and she charged forward. "Finish this! You know I can't stop until one of us loses!"

Ranma jumped back and bounced off the wall and over her head as she slammed her fists into the floor where he'd been standing. "Why not?"

Akane gasped again, surprised by his maneuver. "My honor demands it!" cried the girl as she spun into a backhand.

Ranma casually put his arm up and blocked it while reaching out with his other hand to poke her in the throat with the barrel of a very large handgun. "There, you lost."

Akane let loose a weak sounding cough as she fell flat on her rear. "Huh?"

"Don't worry. It's not illegal. I'm licensed to carry this anywhere on the planet."

Akane was simply staring at her with her jaw working up and down. "That was...dirty!"

"How do you think the bad guys fight?" replied Ranma calmly. "Best way to learn how to beat it, is to practice against someone who knows it. It ain't hard to find training partners if you go to the right places."

Akane stared at the girl in shock. She was talking about killing people! "Who are you?"

"I told ya. Ranma Saotome."

"This is so cool! How do I get a job like that! Can I hold your gun?"

"Maybe later, I might decide to let you see it," replied the girl stonily as she turned to walk out of the room.

"Woah! This is so cool! Ranma's some sort of spy!" said Akane under her breath. "A real woman, doing a real woman's job! Man, I gotta find out how she did that!"

Alas, Akane Tendo found another bright star in the Feminist movement. It was not too last...


Ranma stood up from the bath and stared at the girl in front of him. "What?" He was staring her directly in the face and didn't seem fazed at all by her entry.

Akane blushed and slowly closed the door.

"Heh. Guess she got to see it after all."


Ranma stood in the hallway and stared the girls down. He was dressed in the same clothes and had a hefty pair of boots on his feet. "Ranma."

"Huh?" said the dumbfounded girls as they stared at him.

"That's my name," he replied while puffing on a cigarette. "Quit starin at me." A rather quiet command that was obeyed by all immediately.

Genma walked into the room with Soun at his side. They moved over to the tables followed by the girls. Ranma remained standing where he was with his cigarette.

Genma nodded to the girls and their father. "I am Genma Saotome, and this is my son..."

"I told you my name already, you know who I am."

All three of the Tendo girls simply looked at each other. They didn't look very comfortable with the situation at all. So far, Ranma had treated them all like dirt that was beneath his notice. It was fairly obvious he didn't want to be there either, and from the way it looked when they came in, he was going to get his way. All three of the girls liked the idea of that happening very soon.

Ranma merely stared the scene down as his father went into the story.

"Damn, he's good," thought Nabiki too herself.

"It all started a few months ago."

"This idiot got us cursed at a magic spring in China." Ranma breathed out a puff of smoke.

"I'll have you know it was for the good of your training!" snapped Genma.

"A lot of good it did me," replied the boy coolly.


"This is it. We came all the way here so we could look at a spring?" Ranma didn't really sound surprised.

"No boy! This is a training ground!"


The guide walked between them and motioned forward. "Here we are sirs..."


"Ranma, you lost your cool. That's what did it." He said the words to himself quietly. No one noticed, too engrossed in the story.


Ranma fell back from the bamboo pole, his balance gone as the animal charged and swiped at him across the top of the bamboo chutes. He was going to hit the ground hard and he knew it, and cursed himself as anger contorted his features. Then the icy cool sensation raged across his body as he slammed into the water. "Heh, not as bad as I thought." He had been expecting to land in between two of the spring on a thin path, he'd moved two feet farther than he'd thought.

Then he broke the surface of the water.

The guide's voice swam into his head and he frowned at him. "What? Why would I care some bitch died her a billion years ago?"

That was when he noticed that his voice was a bit different. Slowly he lowered his eyes. Two mounds of flesh were where his massive chest had been. They were quite large and barely fit in his shirt at all. The weight of his belt was quite a bit lower on his hips as well. He staggered out of the water and brushed his hair out of his face. "Where is he?"

The guide immediately pointed at the panda.

Ranma's eyes gleamed with anger as he turned to face the old man. "Me and the panda are gonna need a minute or so alone."

The man nodded once and quickly vacated the area.

The animal was waving its arms frantically in front of its face. It was trying its best to squawk out a response with its vocal chords. It wasn't working very well.

Ranma reached under each armpit where a massive semi automatic handgun was hung from each arm. "You'll make a nice rug."

The guide poked his head out of a patch of bamboo. "So sorry to bother sirs!"


"Jusenkyo curse not permanent. Is cure, even if only for little while."

Genma was shaking with terror as he stared down the barrels of his son's hand cannons.

"Start talkin, I'll decide this when you're done."

"Hot water turn back into man once again! Cold water turn back to girl. Curse not too bad, no?"

Ranma smirked at his father coldly. It was a rather empty looking grin. "I suppose not." He fired two shots and turned away.

Genma was staring at the two gigantic bullet holes that were still smoking on either side of his head. He had to sit up and turn around just to see them both at the same time.

He stood up and stared at his son's back. The boy's anger had been surprisingly painless. He wasn't sure if he should be bothered by it or not. He decided to let the situation be for a few hours so his son could simmer down a bit. It wasn't all that bad, surely Nodoka would cut both their heads off, but what the hell.

Genma had to pause and rewind that statement for a moment.

There was something wrong in there, he knew it, but he just couldn't put his finger on it.

"Oh shit."

Ah. Seems he's finally found it.

"What the hell am I gonna do?"

For hours, days, his mind worked on.

Finally, a short time before they meet the fabled tribe of Amazon women...

"Tendo! That's it! I've got it!"


"What? You're not telling them the whole thing?" asked Ranma after his father finished his tale of woe.

"I've told them enough to understand," replied his father smugly. "We can tell them more later if we wish."

"Yeah. I've been keeping my ears up about you since I was a kid. Heard around about ya. You aren't very good at not sharing information, you're not very good at much of anything actually. I don't really like you, but you are my old man, so I guess I'll have to put up with it for now. "Who knows, maybe you'll surprise me and turn out to actually be a halfway decent human being."

Genma glared at his son. "It's time you learned some respect boy."

"Thing you're big enough?"

Genma snorted irritably and seemed to realize who was sitting around him. "We'll settle that later boy."

His son just nodded.

"Who is this creep?" muttered Akane under her breath.

"I don't know, but he does seem rather unpleasant."

"Your problem isn't so bad after all!" cried Soun as he drenched the pair with a nearby bucket. He barely had time to choke as Ranma snapped forward and slammed him headfirst into a wall by grabbing the side of his face and swinging him.

Soun heard a dry click and felt the cool metal surface of a very big barrel that was pressed against the back of his head. "Don't ever do that again."

Soun nodded slowly, as best he could.

Ranma released him and the man staggered back. Ranma was pouring hot water over his head and slammed the kettle into his father's face and let the handle go. Genma was sprawled out across the floor in the nude and quickly jumped up and away to change.

"If there's nothing else." The boy turned to walk away, but Soun stopped him.

"Wait. There is still more business we must discuss."

"Well the answer to that is no."

"You cannot choose that path."

"Says who?"

"Says the blood of your family, who fought and died for the honor you so easily discard."

"I've got honor, but it's my own. I'm not obligated to any promise I didn't make myself."

"If you do not honor this pact, then our families will be opposed. We will do everything in our power to destroy you and your family Saotome. They only way to stop us from killing you, would be for you to kill me, and my daughters."

"Woah, woah, woah," said Nabiki as her eyes went wide.

"Yer one of those traditional pricks aren't ya?" said Ranma as he simply looked at the man calmly.

"That I am," agreed Soun. "My eldest daughter, Kasumi, she's nineteen, my middle daughter Nabiki, she's seventeen, and my youngest Akane, she's sixteen. Pick any one you want, and she'll be your new fiancee."

"Oh! He wants Akane!" exclaimed Kasumi.

"Definitely!" agreed Nabiki.

"These three little girls put together wouldn't be enough woman to satisfy me," snorted Ranma as he poked his ear with his finger. "Look. I'll hang around for a few months or so and see how things go. I don't like it, I'm gone, and you can just bring it on."

"That should be enough, for now," said Soun as he nodded seriously.

"Well, enjoy your new fiancee!" said Nabiki as she smiled at her sister cheerfully.

"What?" gasped Akane.

"Oh my! Nabiki! You shouldn't tease your sister that way!"

"What do you mean? I wasn't talkin about just her ya know. Yer all my fiancee as far as I'm concerned."

The three girls turned to look at each other and simply stared. None of them had any way to reply to that.

Ranma walked towards the stairs and ignored their reaction. "Crazy place. Shoulda come by more often when things were down a little."


Ranma stood staring at his father with a frown on his face. "School?"

"Yes. I decided you should attend."


"The girls should be heading off any time now..." started Genma.


The girl went ridged as she stopped trying to sneak by the open door.

"I'll see you later."

He stood up, neither one knew who he was speaking too. The boy walked right by Nabiki just as Akane raced to catch up with her sister. She jogged around the boy with a frown on her face. He simply strolled calmly into the street as if nothing of any real importance was going on around him. He didn't even react to Akane barreling past him.

"Who is this guy?" asked Nabiki out loud. She turned to look at her father, and noticed he had a strangely contemplative look on his face. Genma was sitting across from him with a scowl of his own.


"The boy is out of control," grumbled Genma irritably. "He's strong and manly, but probably too much for his own good, and the good of the school! It was a mistake, I know that now."

"Genma! How could you! You know what he did to me!" Soun growled bitterly.

"I had no choice. He did it to me too! Nodoka still adores him, I've had to look at those stupid posters for years!"

"She was before you got married!" snapped Soun.

"Well, the first time sure," replied Genma with a shrug.

"First time?" muttered Soun as he went pale.

"Sure, happened like six times as I recall. Nodoka thinks I don't know, but he used to leave little notes to me on the back of the toilet paper. Telling me what she liked and stuff. Some of it was pretty useful.

Soun stared at the man in horror.

"Oh, it's just little Akane. She likes to paint on any kind of paper dear, you know that..."

"Oh god!" cried Soun as he fell into tears and slumped down onto the table in misery.

"I didn't expect Ranma to change this much," said Genma as he hung his head.

"Do you think I want my daughters to be someone's bitches?!" cried Soun.

"Well, no. Do you think I enjoy seeing my son enjoying all these girls?"

"Of course! I would be euphoric!" snapped Soun.

"Well, you're right, but that's beside the point."

"Oh, I suppose you're right, Saotome."


Ranma stood at the gates of Furinkan with Akane at his side. She was in a combat ready stance, while he was casually chewing on a toothpick and watching the scene in front of him through his black shades. "Boy. These guys got no clue how bad they're gonna get their asses kicked today do they?"

"I don't need your help," growled Akane as the boys rushed forward.

"You really don't think I'm gonna let you have all the fun do ya?" replied Ranma calmly. The corner of his lip turned up a bit as he popped his knuckles. "Let's see what they got."



Well, I'm bored, I don't feel like Gaijin right now, and I've been wanting to do something like this for a while now.

Don't rag on me about the cigs. They are there and staying there, mostly because it fits in with the themes of the games.

Dunno when or if I'll write this again. More of a fun idea, that may go somewhere if I think about it long enough.