There it was; staring right back at him. After all these years of dodging, avoiding and outright refusal, it was right there again, beneath his very nose. A shiny, glass like body, with a sleek neck and wider base; that thing was the color of the most disgusting white.
Edward Elric, the proud owner of the titles Colonel, Fullmetal and ambassador of Amestris, was glaring at it with upmost hate, disgust and terror. It was his one and only, true arch nemesis;
The bottle of fresh milk had come out at him from nowhere, its presence hitting Ed like a few bulldozers at once. Everything started when he got up this morning, bleary eyed and exhausted from writing up the basted paperwork the General had sent to him from Central. It didn't help that he had suffered a nightmare last night that robbed Edward of what little sleep he had in the first place. Not to mention that it was of a huge dairy cow chasing him with a gallon of its hellish secretive white liquid in hand.
Later, after Edward had woke screaming curses at all cows and milk in general, he was forced to drag his body out of the warm, comfortable bed into the freezing shower; where he almost fell asleep in after a few minutes. When Ed finally got around to dressing, he had to do a double take when he almost left the room with his beige coat inside out, hair loose and gloveless. Thanking his stars that he noticed, the Alchemy professor made some adjustment to his attire as he trudged towards the Great Hall.
When he finally landed on his seat at the High Table, Edward had blindly (and by that, it meant literally with his eyes closed) served himself with a bit of everything the elves had had to offer for breakfast today. A very bad move as it meant that he also took, amongst a variety of other foods, a full bottle of fresh, whole-cream milk. Gone unnoticed while the Fullmetal devoured kippers and porridge, it had stood there, waiting; waiting patiently for that one hopeful moment until the golden haired man would unknowingly grab its transparent container, and down a white river of hate into his being.
Which, Edward would have done if it wasn't for a blood-curdling scream from one of the students somewhere in the Hall that jolted the poor man back to is senses quite violently. The result was rather hilarious; Edward had just put the rim of the glass to his mouth, then realizing that it was the abominable white liquid secreted from the udder of a cow, had managed to choke on himself, succeeding to fall out of his chair in a heap onto the ground in the process.
"Elric, what is the matter with you this morning?" a sneering voice said from above him.
Pulling himself from the floor, Edward valiantly ignored the stares and giggles he had elicited. Turning towards the greasy-haired Potions Master, Edward retorted in a cruel voice, "What's wrong?! If you want to blame anything on anyone, I suggest you blame that!" Snape looked at the object which Edward was pointing viciously to.
Somewhat bemused, Severus said, "'That' is just a bottle of milk, Elric." Smirking, he looked at the seething Alchemy professor, "I don't believe milk has done anything to warrant your anger."
"Milk" Edward hissed out the name like it was pure poison, "is something no ordinary human should be willing to take." This comment raised an eyebrow of Snape's; it was his first time seeing anyone who actually had something against the white liquid."I don't see the point behind your reasoning, Elric. Milk, is just milk, after all," he reasoned.
"Just milk?!" Edward raised his voice a little, "that is not just milk. 'That' is a highly disgusting white liquid that has been secreted out forcibly from the underside of a cow. How is that not a reason to judge it?" For the first time in years, Severus Snape had a desire to laugh heartily; Edward Elric as certainly an interesting character… Forcing down his unnatural desire to chortle, Snape managed to choke out, "I've certainly never thought about it that way; though, your ridiculous hatred of milk might have something to do with your…stature."
Edward, whom had definitely grown taller throughout the years, was still shorter than most of the professors in Hogwarts, one of them being Snape. It had been ages since anyone had genuinely meant their taunts of him being…short… but this Potions Master, however…From experience, Edward could tell that he meant it. "What are you implying, Snape?" Edward dangerously said as he clenched his right hand around a spoon.
"I meant that you are quite small, for your age," Snape unwisely said.
Letting the spoon drop, Edward slid his hands beneath the table, a dark and threatening aura surrounding him. Snape once again, raised an eyebrow; what in the world had happened to Elric (not that he really cared)? A few moments later, Severus had to blink – a short flash of blue lightning had suddenly appeared, though, it didn't seem to affect anything. Shaking it off, he was about to remark on something, when Professor McGonagall came up to them.
"Severus, Edward, stop dallying around," she snapped, "don't you have lessons to attend to?"
Breaking out of his stupor, Edward stood and gave a disarming smile towards the Transfiguration professor. "Sorry, Minerva," he grinned, "I guess I lost track of time." Promptly, Ed left the tables and headed off towards his office, with a mischievously satisfied air hanging about him. Deciding to ignore Elric, Severus was about to stand, clearly wanting to avoid the nagging that he was sure to receive from the head of Gryffindor if he didn't hurry.
That is, until he fell down.
"Severus!" called a very shocked McGonagall. Looking around in a slight panic, Minerva searched for the source of the head of Slytherin's fall; after all he of all people didn't fall for just any reason. Then, she happened to glance at Severus's feet – they were encased in wood from the floor, or more specifically, the floor seemed to have risen and swallowed the feet of the Potions master. "Snape, what in the heavens happened to your feet?" she cried.
Snape, who had just recovered from his comical fall and was now glaring at a few students who were gawking at him, turned to look at his feet. The potions expert's eyes grew wide at the sight before him. It was now Snape's turn to gawk as he saw his wood encased feet. Minerva was about to try a spell to free him, when Dumbledore happened along.
"My, what seems to be the problem here," he asked.
Seeing Minerva point at the feet of the Potions professor, Dumbledore leant in to take a closer look. Spotting the telltale rectangular marks of alchemy, the headmaster chuckled at the prank that was just played on Snape, courtesy of the Fullmetal Alchemist. "What do you find so amusing, headmaster?" snapped Severus.
"I believe," smiled Dumbledore, taking his wand out, "that you have just been alchemized to the floor, Severus." With that, the headmaster waved his wand, freeing a flustered Severus Snape. The potions master quickly stood up, a confused and annoyed expression on his face.
Turning away, Dumbledore told Snape, "I suggest you don't say anything to Edward regarding his height if you want to avoid incidents like these anymore, Severus."
Dusting his clothes, Snape let out a low hiss, "Elric…"
And thus, the feud between the alchemy and potions masters began that very day.
The usual disclaimer of disappointment over the fact that neither FMA nor HP will ever belong to me, blah, blah, blah…
This is the first part of trivial things that happens throughout the story 'Of Ends and Beginnings', so I suggest you read that one first. Please, review, favorite and follow.
Again, many thanks to my Beta reader, MCat9905 for her wonderful editing.
More chapters will come out over time AND if you drop suggestions through PM or reviews, I will write a chapter based on that; just make sure it is within the story 'Of Ends and Beginnings'.
It is now time for my cat nap, so, Ciaossu!