SE: Yes, you all can shoot me for starting another story that wasn't even in the list of stories I wanted to write. But this will probably take the backseat for my other stories, as it was only written to get my muse going. Though there might be a few more coming soon. I'm in the moon for the implausible.
Updates for LSK and Troublesome Discoveries will come soon. I promise.
Disclaimer: I don't own. Never have, never will.
A Hop, Step, Jump Away
Name: Haruno Sakura. Status: Clinically insane, if the floating eggs and sparkling children are to be considered. Wherever the hell she is, it's certainly not in the Five Elemental Nations.
-World: Naruto/Shugo Chara Crossover
-Rating: K – T
-Genre: Crack. Plus the other, Adventure/Comedy/Action stuff.
As a miraculous survivor of countless face offs against immortal old men who were prettier than her, numerous freak accidents from the nilly-willy ways of chakra, and the stupidity that was Naruto, Haruno Sakura is sure she has seen it all.
"Shit, Sakura-chan, look out!"
Then the sky just has to split open and swallow her whole.
Damn. And it is during her break shift too.
"W-What the – What the hell –"
Sakura is only conscious long enough to take in a few facts:
a) She is probably suffering from a concussion, two broken ribs, a severe cut or two on a tendon, and chakra depletion.
b) She is not in Konoha.
c) Or anywhere else in the Five Elemental Nations.
d) Or probably the universe. (The lack of ambient chakra had slapped her in the face the moment she opened her eyes like one of Sai's attempts at being social: as in, blatantly obtuse).
e) Shishou is so going to kill her.
f) A huge, ridiculously fast object is heading her way.
And as she flings herself to the left and the object swerves right with a screech, ramen and sake are all that fills Sakura's last thoughts. She feels that nothing else will help to ease the incoming migraine she knows will come in the morning.
The nurse looks up from her clipboard with a raised eyebrow and saccharine smile.
"No last name?" Sakura pauses and considers her options. Based on the shitty interrogation, Sakura highly doubts giving her last name will end her life any quicker than before.
Ignoring the chattering nurse who coos at her pink hair, Sakura instead clenches her (tiny) fists and bites her lip hard enough to draw blood.
(The first time she found herself in a body that wasn't hers – for Kami's sake, she is twenty, not ten – the doctors had to replace her bed post because she mangled the metal beyond repair).
Breathe, Sakura reminds herself, and takes in a deep breath.
Tuning out the woman who is now explaining slowly to Sakura the ways of a checkup (kami, she is a professional medic, she shouldn't have to deal with this sort of shit), she instead tries to gather up all the information she has on the current situation.
She has been here for three whole days.
She is in a country called 'Japan,' where the people speak a common language called 'Japanese.'
There are no shinobi, there are no ninja, and there is certainly no chakra. (She almost has a coronary burst when she hears from a very confused doctor that chakra does not exist).
Sakura looks down at her skinny arms and twig-like legs and she can feel a small part of die inside at the loss of muscle and kami, where the hell did that last decade of training go?
And lastly, she is no longer Haruno Sakura; twenty, beautiful, and a badass medic with the ability to hold her alcohol even better than her shishou.
No, she is now 'Haruno Sakura'; estimated ten, tiny, short, cute to the point that it's sickening, a pitiful orphan that has just escaped death by 'car' and is now suffering amnesia, with the ability to hold not even a finger's worth of alcohol her old body could have held.
Believe her, she's tried at least four times in the past three days – and each time leaves her drunk, frustrated, and even closer to being labeled an 'underage alcoholic' by the rest of the hospital.
Kami, she misses sake. And ramen, though that by fault makes her miss Naruto which is bad because she is pretty sure he is the reason that she is in this mess.
(When all else fails, there are only four people to blame for the misery-that-is-her-life: Naruto, Tsunade-shishou, Kakashi-sensei, and Sasuke – though each has their own categories and sub-categories to choose from.
Naruto usually falls into the group of 'this-shouldn't-even-be-possible-what-happened-to-physics' and 'fuck-my-life-what-did-I-do-wrong-in-my-past-life-to-deserve-this.'
Well actually, all four sort of land in the latter class).
"All done!" The nurse declares, and Sakura tries her hardest to not twitch her eye in irritation. "Would you like to meet with Kazuma-sensei now, Sakura-chan?"
It takes all of her self-control to not snap the woman's neck (being Tsunade's apprentice has long taught her the troublesome consequences of killing citizens in a foreign land) because damn, she is-was the same age as Sakura – there should be no 'chan' involved.
(She knows she is being unreasonable but three days and she already misses her friends).
So instead, Sakura sucks it all up – just as she has sucked it up when Naruto botches up another B-rank mission and brings its rank up a few notches to an S, or when Tsunade is past the point of just 'drunk' and leaves her to do all the paperwork because Kami knows Shizune is too busy with the hospital to do so, or when –
Yeah. She sucks it all up.
"Yes, please," Sakura smiles winningly up at the nurse and blinks rapidly when the woman almost screeches in delight.
"Oh, you're so adorable!"
Oh yes, she is going to take so much pleasure in pummeling Naruto to the ground when she gets back.
(She tries hard to ignore the voice that whispers, 'if' she can get back).
Sakura stares at the man in front of her with half-interest and half-suspicion.
"Ah, Haruno-chan," She glances to the side and gives Kazuma Hiroshi, the hospital director, a flat glare before turning her gaze back to the disheveled looking man. "I'd like you to meet Nikaidou Yuu-san, a good friend of mine."
The brown-haired man in question gives a clumsy smile that seems all too forced and pushes up his glasses in greeting.
"Hello there, Haruno-san," The man – no, Nikaidou jumps up from his chair eagerly and grins goofily at her. "I'm so glad to finally meet you; I've heard many stories about you from Hiro-kun."
Sakura raises a single eyebrow at that and doesn't acknowledge the flushing doctor at her side. Instead, she casually glances at Nikaidou's messy bed-hair, his lopsided glasses and his clumsy stance.
Yet, despite all of these factors, Sakura only has to glance at the man once to realize that he is sharper, colder, and hiding a lot more that he gives on.
"It's nice to meet you as well, Nikaidou-san," Sakura greets cordially, nodding her head, but not bothering to stand up. She plasters on a polite smile perfected through years of acting as the Hokage's Apprentice, knowing that it hides more than what Nikaidou will ever be looking for.
An awkward silence protrudes the lounge as Sakura speaks no more, seemingly perfectly content to continue smiling at the still standing man.
Nikaidou coughs unsurely and sits slowly back down.
Briefly, Sakura thinks back at her complied information of this new world. It hasn't even been three weeks since arriving in this strange universe and already, Sakura can feel the toll on her body because of the lack of healthy chakra in the surrounding areas.
There's just too much change, too many different things, and the amount of cultural shock Sakura has gone through is enough to send a normal person into insanity.
(The first time she sees a car, for example, is the first and last time the hospital folks ever leaves her alone outside of the sterile building – and it is not for her own sake).
But Sakura is not a normal person. She is a kunoichi, a shinobi. She is a ninja, and a soldier of her Village above all else, and she will not succumb to wherever the hell this time-space warp jutsu has sent her to.
(There was enough of that during the war, thank you very much).
She begins to suspect that, ironically enough, it is all thanks to the crazy events in the war that lets her be as flexible with the impossible as she is now.
"- so, what do you think, Haruno-chan?" Sakura sharply raises her eyes to the doctor and ignores him as he swallows a small gulp.
"I'm sorry," She smiles apologetically and blinks, embarrassed. "I was distracted; can you repeat that again, please?"
"Of course, Sakura-san," This time, it is Nikaidou that enters the conversation, all smiles and clumsiness. "Hiro-kun and I were just talking about how I was looking for a child to adopt. I've been to a bunch of orphanages, of course, but none of the children there really spoke out to me. And then, just a few days ago, I heard about you from Hiro-kun here, and I thought it would be a great idea to meet the lovely pink-haired child the hospital adores taking care of."
A smooth talker, Sakura notes dispassionately, but even then, there's a hint of trepidation hiding underneath all the calculations in her mind. It's always the nice ones you have to watch for.
"So, what do you think, Haruno-chan?" Hiroshi asks, after a few awkward minutes of silence becomes too much for him to bear. "A new home and a new family; wouldn't that be great?"
Too fast, she thinks frantically. Shouldn't there be a more legal way of handling this?
Though frankly speaking, Sakura is a literal nobody in this world; no records, no documents, and certainly nobody to really certify that she is a living being here. And this makes her a perfect target for those looking to take a child away for more nefarious purposes.
But she can understand why the doctor is so eager to rid of her. Sakura, though eleven in body, is an adult and a shinobi; the latter of whom do not exist in this world anymore. Her personality, her actions, her way of handling situations and just about everything about her screams 'different and wrong' to the rest of society. This isn't even including her determination to get drunk and her forceful, sarcastic way of talking.
So it would make sense that the whole hospital doesn't really want her anymore. The fact that she's an adorable, weak, helpless little girl hardly matters in the face that she does not belong.
(There's a small sliver of hurt that bangs at the old scar in her heart and it screams silently at her. It screeches that she's useless, that she's not wanted, that she's not important, that there are so many people worth more than what she could ever hope to possibly be.
She crushes that hurt and puts it away for a time when she is alone and truly alone).
"Oh, wow," Sakura stutters – and some of it is not faked – as she looks shyly up at the curly-haired man. "This is really sudden."
Nikaidou gives a benign smile and opens his arms in a not-offended way.
"Of course, I understand. Please, take your time to think about it. I know it's a lot to ask of you in this short amount of time."
Sakura beams in reply and dons a thoughtful look for a good ten seconds. And in a manner that is truly childish, no matter how you look at it, she quickly brightens up and pretends to decide right then and there.
"I made my decision!" Hiroshi and Nikaidou both lean forward in anticipation to appease the eager look plastered on her young face. "I've decided; I shall live with you, Nikaidou-san, because you seem like a very nice man. But if I don't like you, I get to come back to the hospital."
A bit simpler than what she wanted, but a lengthier demand would have had anyone – even in this world – suspicious.
Nikaidou beams in happiness and shakes the back of his head abashedly as his friend sighs in relief.
"I'm so happy, Sakura-san! Ah, since we're practically family now, is it okay if I call you Sakura-chan? You can call me Yuu-oji-san."
Ignoring all the warning bells in her head for accepting the companionship of a suspicious character, ignoring her trepidations about entering a new world so suddenly, and ignoring her sudden weariness and loneliness as the only ninja in existence: Sakura takes the man's offered hand with her own small hand.
"Of course, Yuu-oji-san."
The larger hand around her own tightens till it is border-line painful to stay in its grip. But Haruno Sakura has handled much worse than a skinny, clumsy man with suspicious intentions, and so she tightens her own hand back.
The two smile at each other with saccharine smiles; one with a sense of victory and the other with predatory teeth.
Now, whose smile is whose?
The start of a new world; but no matter what, I will find my way back.
A short prologue to start off Sakura's adventure in this world; I wanted this to be crack, but it seems the logical (well, almost logical) side of me wants to make this crossover reasonable. At least. I hope you enjoyed it, and comments are always, of course, appreciated.
Searching. For. Enadi.