Title: Date Falsification
Author: Del Rion
Fandom: Iron Man (MCU)
Rating: T / FRT
Characters: J.A.R.V.I.S., Tony Stark. Mentioned: Happy Hogan.
Summary: There are times when even a notorious playboy needs a break. It's a good thing Tony's also a genius, and possesses the tools for the perfect deception.
Complete. Part of "Genius, AI & Bots" series.
Written for: My card on Trope Bingo's Round 2 (square: "fake relationship")
Disclaimer: Iron Man and Marvel Cinematic Universe, including characters and everything else, belong to Marvel, Marvel Studios, Jon Favreau, and Paramount Pictures. In short: I own nothing; this is pure fiction created to entertain likeminded fans for no profit whatsoever.
About Date Falsification: I won't ruin the miniscule surprise of the story here, but let's just say that I can totally see Tony doing some version of this, repeatedly, to get away from pushy dates, board meetings and even briefings, if possible.
Story and status: Below you see the writing process of the story. If there is no text after the title, then it is finished and checked. Possible updates shall be marked after the title.
. . .
Written for my card on Trope Bingo's Round 2 (square: "fake relationship").
Partying at home had its advantages. For one, Tony could crash in his own bed, and didn't have to leave in the morning.
That was also the problem: when people got annoying, he couldn't just leave. Sure, with the party being at his place, Tony could have told them to leave, but he was a good host and had to keep his reputation intact. Most people wouldn't have believed Tony actually thought about these things, but image was an important part of company business as well as when conducting a far more personal interaction between individuals.
Tony, in general, didn't care if he offended someone's sensibilities, but most of the time he played a cautious, well-calculated game of tact and charisma to get what he wanted – or to get people where he wanted them to be.
There were times, however, when his tricks failed him and he was left to endure something he would have rather gone without – like the advantages of a busty blonde on a night when he, strangely enough, didn't feel like crawling into his bed with another person.
Yeah, there were those nights. Tony was a human being, and as much as he liked sex, he didn't have a constant appetite for it.
"Come now, Mr. Stark," the blonde, whatever her name was, whispered, trying for a seductive tone. She was a little too drunk for it, way too pushy – and not in a way that Tony enjoyed whenever he engaged in slightly kinkier activities. In short, he wasn't interested, but she wasn't taking 'no' for an answer.
Tony knew it would have been easier to give in and fuck her, then leave her slumbering while he disappeared into the shop downstairs. It smelled like defeat, though, and Tony Stark didn't do defeat. "Sorry to disappoint," Tony interrupted the blonde's grinding and took her hand away from between his legs, where his cock was giving a small twitch of polite interest but little else. "I'm already spoken for tonight," he replied.
The blonde pouted, her lips looking unnaturally plump – which they probably were. "I'm sure she could share."
"I doubt it," Tony replied, keeping her hand from returning to his crotch despite her best efforts. Clearly she had the idea that if she got him hard, he would be banging her against the bar in no time.
Contrary to what people believed, Tony wasn't led around by his cock; he just didn't bother telling it 'no' as often as other people did, because he liked having a good time.
The blonde pushed up flush against him, grinding again. "Perhaps if we ask nicely," she suggested, fluttering her fake eyelashes.
His phone vibrated, and Tony slid his free hand to drag it out of his pocket and flip it open. An unfamiliar number greeted him, looking like a phone number to anyone who didn't bother to look at it twice, and his lips twitched a bit as he answered, adjusting the volume to carry over the music playing in the background. "Hey," he answered, ceasing most of his attempts to keep the blonde at bay.
"Hi, honey," a smooth voice responded. He didn't recognize it, but it had a certain note that did things to him that weren't entirely acceptable. "Are you going to be much longer?"
"Just getting things wrapped up here," Tony said, meaning the party and his unwanted company.
The blonde drew back a little, as if finally buying into his story.
"I have something nice prepared for you," the female tone stated, full of promise, and Tony smiled despite himself.
"I'll be there as soon as I can," he promised.
"Love you," she said before hanging up.
Tony gave the blonde the most apologetic look he could muster, while not meaning it at all, then grabbed his unfinished drink and walked out of the room where the party would keep going for a good while even without him. Happy would escort the people out when it was time.
Not wanting to draw suspicion towards himself, Tony took the back stairs down to the workshop, entering its cool silence with a contented sigh.
"Welcome, sir," J.A.R.V.I.S. greeted him at once.
"You promised me something nice," Tony reminded the AI, unable to resist the smile that appeared on his face.
"Indeed, sir. I finished the last batch of calculations and it would appear none of yours were off."
"Of course not," Tony rolled his eyes. "Lock the doors, dim the lights. I think I'll watch a movie instead of working," he decided and moved over to a well-hidden couch in one corner, slumping down on it and opening the few top buttons of his shirt, then pulled off his shoes.
J.A.R.V.I.S. brought up one of the films in his queue, and it was instantly clear where J.A.R.V.I.S. had copied the voice and speech pattern of Tony's fake 'date'.
Tony adjusted his pants, sipped his drink and relaxed.