Just a little Christmas fun. I own neither the characters or the basic premis of the story
Leonard sat in his lab looking at the data that just came up on his computer. It was an older lap top with limited RAM. He was trying to verify the hypothesis of the Theoretical Physicist responsible, Sheldon Lee Scrooger. He thought that if he had just a little more processing power, he could get through the analysis in time for Christmas.
Leonard looked up and saw Howard pass by his lab on his way to see Sheldon. Howard approached Sheldon's office and knocked on the doorframe. "Hey Sheldon, I was wondering if you wanted to come over for a Christmas/Hanukkah dinner tomorrow?
Sheldon turned from looking at his white board full of equations. "Howard, I fail to understand why you feel it necessary to make merry this time of year. And I would thank you to respect my wishes to NOT make merry in my own way.
Howard smiled back. "Well, Bernadette and I wish you a Happy Holiday just the same." Howard turned and left down the hallway.
Sheldon Scowled, "Bah Humbug". He turned back to his board when the Dean of Graduate Studies and Dr. Gablehauser came into his office.
The Dean smiled and addressed Sheldon. "Dr. Scrooger, it's nice to meet you. In the spirit of this holiday season, we are looking for volunteers to fill in on some lectures".
Dr. Gablehauser asked, "Dr. Scrooger, how many lectures can we put you down for?"
Sheldon turned to the two intruders, "NONE!"
The Dean questioned, "None? But Professor, surely you understand the value of a higher education."
Sheldon became angry. "Are there no Technical Schools? Are there no Colleges?"
Dr. Gablehauser answered. "Those are inferior institutions".
Sheldon tired of this exchange. "They should hurry and enroll. And quickly decrease the overcrowding of the classrooms. Now… GOOD DAY!" Sheldon then shut the door behind them.
Leonard left his lab looking for some extra memory sticks. Unfortunately, he crossed in front of Sheldon's door. "Leonard, where are you going? Get back to analyzing that data. I'm on the verge of a breakthrough, and you're feeble attempts to thwart it by insisting on verifiable proof are putting my chances at submission for this year's Nobel Prize in jeopardy."
Leonard looked up at his colleague, "Look, Sheldon, the computer you insist I use is so slow… If I could have just ONE extra memory stick…"
Sheldon looked down at Leonard. 'You need to concentrate man… Concentrate!"
Leonard looked very tired. 'Sheldon, at this rate, the data won't be ready until after Christmas".
Sheldon scolded. "I suppose you are going to take the whole day off of work for Christmas?"
Leonard bowed his head. "It's just one day each year".
Sheldon gave a harrumph, "One day each year you lab bench jockeys could spend better serving the minds of the more gifted. I'll expect you in your lab the next day all the earlier".
Leonard smiled, "Thank you Sheldon". Leonard quickly finished powering down his computer before Sheldon changed his mind".
Leonard had gone earlier, so Sheldon walked home in the cold and damp, stopping off at the Thai Restaurant for some Pad Thai and Dumplings.
Sheldon made it home after a long walk gazing on the common folk that undoubtedly suffered from little education and were reduced to toiling at their hum drum jobs in their workaday lives.
As Sheldon came to the door of the apartment building, he thought that he saw someone peering out from the glass doors. It appeared to be a colleague that had gone to another University to finish some work they had submitted together for a grant. Sheldon climbed the stairs to his apartment. As he opened the door to 4A, the doorplate seemed dull and appeared to be the same face of the colleague he saw downstairs. Sheldon wiped the plate with the sleeve of his shirt. He entered the apartment, closed the door behind him and locked the door.
Sheldon went to his room and changed into his pajamas and matching robe. He returned to the kitchen and heated his dinner in the microwave. When it was warmed, he took the food over to the coffee table and sat in his spot on the couch. As he started to eat, Sheldon heard a commotion in the hallway. He got up and looked out the peep hole and saw nothing. Thinking nothing of it, he sat to finish his meal.
As he ate, he heard the noise again. He looked over to the door. Sheldon couldn't believe his eyes. Barry Kripke stood just inside the door bound by what looked like reams of computer printouts and stacks of Physics books. Barry started to moan and shake his bindings. "Oh Woah is me. Do you believe I am hewe?"
Sheldon looked disbelievingly. "Well, actually, you may be an apparition brought on by an undone dumpling".
Kripke Sceramed and shook his bindings.
Sheldon looked on amazed. "Barry, why have you come back, have you finished the work?"
Kripke shook hid stacks of books. "Of couwse not you idiot… I have fawwen to the desiwe to beat you to the Nobew Pwize. I have been tewwibwe to my cowweagues. This is the buwden I must bawe. I have come to Teww you that you can yet save youwself. You must WEPENT! This wiww be youw fate!"
Sheldon cowered athe spectacle before him. "What must I do?"
Kripke sat down. You wiww be visited by thwee ghosts. Heed what they say. Onwy thwough them can you be saved. Barry then got up and flew through the unopened window.
Sheldon raced over to the window and the door to make sure they wewe locked. He then turned out the lights and went to his room. "Ghosts… Bah Humbug".
Sheldon heard his clock chime one. There was a shuffling in the room and the smell of something sweet. The smell of something he had not had in ages…. Cookies….. Sheldon looked up and saw an elderly figure approaching him with a tray of cookies. "Meemaw? What are you doing here?
The apparition looked back and held out the tray, "You can call me Meemaw if you like, but I am the ghost of Christmas Past…. Have a cookie dear."
Sheldon took one of the cookies. "Thank you… The past what? Mmmm these are good".
Meemaw smiled, "Your past Moonpie… no come with me".
In an instant, they were standing in the boys bathroom of Sam Houston Elementary School. A tallish thin boy was just taking his head out of one of the toilets as other boys ran out of the room laughing. The thin boy remarked. "I think for Christmas this year, I'm asking for a sonic death ray. That'll take care of them". Sheldon looked at Meemaw… "I never did get that death ray".
Sheldon took another cookie and they were whisked off to a University mixer. Sheldon saw that he had gotten older, He was fourteen or fifteen. He could remember it like it was yesterday. They had just finished up a Particle Physics lab. Professor Jenkins was smiling. "Sheldon… Sheldon… Get your Lab partner Dick and clear the benches. We're going to have a Kick ass Christmas party." With that, Sheldon and Dick cleared the lab and the party began. There was punch pouring from one of the distillers, little cakes and jello from the cafeteria. They even had a small dance floor.
Sheldon was off to one side when he saw a beautiful young girl sitting in a corner. She had on a skirt and matching cardigan sweater. She had straight brown hair cascading off her shoulders and wore a pair of dark glasses. She was the loveliest thing Sheldon had ever seen. He went over to speak to her. "Hello… I'm Sheldon… Are you having a good time?"
The girl looked up not believing she was being addressed, and by such a handsome boy. "What? Yes I am having a nice time, My name is Amy Farrah Fowler. I'm a student in the Neurobiology classes".
Sheldon shrugged off the references to the icky sqwishy stuff and smiled. They became fast friends and Sheldon asked Amy to be his Girlfriend". Meemaw just looked at Sheldon. 'Such a nice girl".
Sheldon took another cookie and they were whisked off to Cal Tech University where Amy stood before Sheldon's desk. Sheldon and Amy were much older. They were in their mid-twenties. "Sheldon, I release you from your commitment. It is clear to me that you have decided that your pursuit of the Nobel Prize is worth more to you than our relationship. You have backed out of the last three Date Night's that were scheduled, even thought they were painstakingly scheduled and noted, initialed and agreed upon by you in the Relationship Agreement."
Sheldon looked up. "Amy, have I ever asked to be released?"
Amy turned for the door. "No Sheldon, but it is clear to me that you think of our relationship as only a relationship of the mind. Sheldon I need more. Without any prospect of a physical relationship… I release you from the agreement." With that, Amy left Sheldon's office. Sheldon did nothing to stop her from leaving. He just turned to his board and started to work once again.
Sheldon wanted another cookie. He turned to see the tray was empty. "Meemaw, where are all the cookies?" With that Meemaw just smiled. Sheldon was whisked back to his room.
Sheldon looked at the clock and saw that it was tow AM. He saw a bright light coming from under his door. Sheldon was curious, so he went outside into the kitchen. He found what appeared to be a middle-aged women surrounded by Pecan Pie. Fried Chicken, Peach Cobbler, and Pancakes with a pile of Bacon.
Sheldon stared in disbelief. "Mommy?"
The woman turned. "Oh you can call me anything you like Shelly Bean, but I'm the ghost of Christmas Present".
Sheldon looked at her. "Are you the second ghost that Barry told me about?"
Mary looked at Sheldon. "Well, there so sense in beetin round the bush. Let's get a move on young man. Have a piece of chicken".
They were whisked off to the Wolowitz apartment. Howard was holding up a glass of wine as Bernadette sat next to her Mother and Father. "Merry Christmas to all".
Bernadette's father sat staring at Howard holding a beer. "Cut the crap. I thought you were going to have some of your smart friends here. I was looking forward to spending more time with that tall skinny fella from Thanksgiving. Where the hell is he, anyway".
Sheldon looked to his mother. "So, that's why he asked me to come over for dinner".
Mary looked at her son. "Like the man said, cut the crap. Let's go."
They were whisked off to Penny's apartment. Penny was stirring a big pot of water and just put in some Spaghetti. Amy was sitting at the table slicing some bread and sipping on a glass of wine. "I so glad you asked me for Christmas dinner. I don't know what I would have do without you guys, since … you know…"
Penny smiled as she gulped down some wine. "Yeah well, we're happy to have you. Sheldon's just a big jerk and you deserve better." Penny looked at her clock and noticed it was getting late. "Where the hell do you suppose Leonard and Raj are?"
Just then, Leonard walked in carrying a very drunk Raj. Penny rushed over. "Sweetie, what happened?"
Leonard helped penny put Raj on the couch. "I got held up at work with the computer runs of Sheldon's work and was late picking Raj up. We decided to meet at O'Grady's and the rest is history. Apparently, Raj decided that he wanted to pick up a girl, and had a few too many. By the time I got there, He was dancing on the tables and it took the bouncer a while to catch him before he threw Raj outside."
Penny walked over with some water for Raj. "I swear, Sheldon is such a jerk. He doesn't think of anyone but himself".
Leonard looked up at Penny. "Actually, Raj was going to propose that he and Sheldon work together. Raj was hoping that with Sheldon's help, they could figure out some cosmologic constant with Black Holes and that would give Raj the confidence to get over his social anxiety because they would have to go on a tour of lectures. Who knows what will happen now".
Sheldon turned to his mother. "That must be what was in that inter-office mailer that I threw away this morning without opening".
A moment later, Sheldon found himself back in his bedroom. There was a cold breeze across his bed. All his sheets were taken away. As he looked around his room, his bookshelves were bare. There were no trains, no super hero figurines and no comic books. Sheldon was terrified. He heard noises in the living room. He went to open his door and noticed Leslie Winkle standing in the corner holding a light saber and dressed in a long black robe and hood. She looked like she was the Emperor from Star Wars.
Sheldon jumped back. "Leslie"?
Leslie looked at him. "How ya doing … Dumb Ass…?" You can call me that if you like, but I'm the ghost of Christmas yet to come".
Sheldon shivered. "I think I fear you… most of all".
Leslie looked at him. "That would probably be wise. C'mon let's get this over with". They went out into the living room.
Sitting on the couch were Mrs. Gunderson and Alex trying to convince Stewart to give them more money for some collectables.
Mrs. Gunderson was practically in tears. Please Stewart, I know that the trains are not collectable. I mean… Really… who buys N-gauge.
Stewart smiled. "Well, you ARE friends… I tell you what… throw in the comic books and the superheros and we have a deal."
Alex chimed in. "What about these costumes, surely The Flash and Kermit will be worth something…"
Stewart again tried to up the ante… "Ok…OK… But NOT without the Raggedy C-3-P-O."
Leslie grabbed Sheldon's arm. "That's enough of that. They were taken over the Atlantic to the chamber where the Nobel Prize was decided. A group of scholarly looking gentlemen were deliberating. "Well I just don't think we should award the medal posthumously. It is true that his work appears to be brilliant. But the analysis is taking so long. I have it on good Authority that if the computer used for analysis of the data were more up to date, we would have had the proof and it would be unanimous decision".
Leslie looked at Sheldon. "Dumb Ass!"
Leslie took them to the Library at Cal Tech. There were a collection of papers being discussed by the librarians. "Dr. Scrooger's lifetime work. Where shall we put them?"
The director looked at the mountainous pile. "File them under ET-AL".
Sheldon turned to Leslie. "No…. No… Please tell me that these are things that are not going to happen. Please tell me that they are things that only MIGHT BE and not things that WILL BE…"
Leslie just turned away and left "Dumb Ass".
Sheldon went to gather his papers from the table and then ran after Leslie. "Please… I will Change… Please". Sheldon then came to the top of the stairs and tripped. He fell, tumbling down the huge spiral staircase, finally coming to a stop.
Sheldon woke up. He sat straight up in his bed. He looked around and saw his trains on top of his dresser. His figurines were where they were supposed to be. His comic books were all placed neatly where they were left by him. Sheldon raced to his computer and pulled up the Application he used to call up the Atomic Clock Display that he set all his clocks by. To his surprise and happiness… It read December 25…
Sheldon was completely giddy, he was beside himself. He needed to tell someone. He dressed and raced down Colorado Boulevard to O'Grady's. He found Raj sitting in a booth eyeing a pretty girl at the bar. He quickly went over and sat down. Raj looked up. "Sheldon, What are you doing here?"
Sheldon looked at him. "I read your proposal, and I think that it is a brilliant idea. It may take a while to prove, but I'm sure we can get Leonard to work on whatever protocol we need to prove our findings when we get them."
At that, Leonard walked in to collect Raj. "Sheldon, what are you doing here? You said you were going to be at work today?"
Sheldon gave Leonard a pat on the back. "NUTS to that. We're going to celebrate Christmas. Oh, by the way, we need to boost the processing speed of the computer. Let's talk to Howard. I's sure with his advanced knowledge, he can help us".
The three of the guys left the bar and made their way to the apartment building. When they got to the fourth floor, Sheldon was the first over to Penny's door. He knocked his customary three times.
Penny opened the door to find a smiling Sheldon as well as Leonard and Raj. "What is it Sheldon?"
Sheldon went past Penny. "Excuse me please". He walked over to Amy and pulled her into a hug and gave her a deep kiss".
Amy fell back into his arms and was completely surprised, staring up at him. Sheldon pulled away from his kiss and looked deeply into her eyes. "I hope you realize that this action on my part reinstates the Relationship Agreement. We will need to schedule a meeting for a renegotiation of the terms."
Sheldon turned to Penny. "Penny, stop cooking this poor excuse of a Holiday meal. I know of a much better one not far from here".
Penny turned to Leonard. "Sweetie…. WHAT is happening?"
Leonard was befuddled. "Beats me, let's see how this plats out".
Leonard, Penny Raj Amy and Sheldon piled into Leonard's car and under Sheldon's instructions, went over to Howard's and Bernadette's apartment.
Penny knocked on the door and Bernadette opened it. Penny stepped in. "You better have some wine, we're here with a crazy man".
Everyone entered the apartment to the delight of Howard who was having an uncomfortable discussion with his father-in-law.
After a spirited round of hello's and introductions, everyone sat down to the meal Bernadette had prepared. Sheldon held Amy's hand under the table. Penny tenderly held Leonard's knee while he put his arm around her shoulder. Bernadette sat after placing the last of the food on the table as Howard carved the brisket. Raj picked up his glass and toasted. "God bless us everyone".
Mr. Rostenkowski raised his beer. "Merry Christmas everyone".
Penny and Leonard added. "And a Very Happy New Year".