Heya all, I'm taking a Right Kind of Wrong break of sorts and starting another fic. This writing stuff is downright addictive and, when you've got such willing characters, it's gotta be fun too. I shall not neglect Right Kind of Wrong as I've suddenly realise I have a lot of time on my hands lately. It has been a while but I've had constant computer problems and it's taken me forever to get my pc in working condition. But I'm back and it's all good.
Dedicated to Amy cause she's so gonna get married first and the wonderful people at NWP. For the love of Alec, I absolutely adore you people! It really brightens up my day to read the wonderful fics up for grabs (over and over again). I just can't get enough.
Summary: Misunderstandings can be fun. Max and Alec find that out the interesting way.
Be warned that this is gonna eventually be pure, unadulterated fluff. Oh, and it's definitely AU and sometimes out of character for … well, everyone.
Something to Talk About
One of Those Days
It was one of those days. The kind that you wake up and, upon realising that the man (who you're sure was created solely to piss you off by his very existence) is studying, with unchecked amusement, your Tweety bird pyjamas, you just know it's gonna be a disaster of epic proportions.
The last week and a half had been a downright calamity. She'd traipsed halfway across the country for the most recent Eyes Only mission with nothing but her Ninja and Alec for company. It had been a long trip – there was only so much Alec Max could stand, and a whole week of non-stop exposure to the man had seriously fried her nerves to the ground. Everything had gone wrong and, needless to say, they had arrived at their destination just in time to see an ambulance rush off with their contact.
And, to make matters worse, as soon as they'd returned, Logan had them on another mission – a routine break and enter. Max was pretty sure she'd had about three hours sleep the entire week. Meanwhile, last night's B&E stint had gone a little haywire, they hadn't gotten the files they were supposed to and, to top it all off, Alec had nearly managed to decapitate her via an intimate encounter with a low hanging tree branch during their frenzied escape.
Never again would Max allow him to sit on her baby, much less abuse it, no matter how out of it she was. After the traumatising events of the last week, she'd gotten home, dressed in the first available sleepwear and promptly fallen into a dreamless slumber – shark DNA could only take one so far before it all became too much.
"Nice pj's," Alec said. "Silk?"
"Nah," Max said automatically, for a second not realising exactly what she was talking about. "Satin."
Once Max finally noted the fact that Alec was unabashedly inspecting every inch of her very stylish nightshirt, she promptly tossed her pillow in his direction. Her aim was unerringly accurate and, because the hazel eyed blond was too preoccupied with the bright yellow bird plastered across Max's chest, there was a satisfying thump as the pillow bounced off his face.
"Leave now or I will be tempted to kick your ass," Max said calmly, hopping out of bed. Of course, the day being what it was, she inevitably managed to get her legs tangled in her sheets and fell into an ungraceful lump by the side of her bed.
Alec couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up. In less than five minutes he'd managed to acquire enough material with which to tease Max for the next three years. Life was good. He peered down at the jumbled mass of bed covers strewn across the floor. "Having fun down there?" he deadpanned.
Max just scowled. "Shut up."
Having had her say, she tried, rather unsuccessfully, to disentangle herself from the sheets but her appendages – not to mention the sheets – refused to cooperate. By the third attempt Max was convinced that the damn fabric was possessed; Alec was laughing so hard he looked ready to dissolve onto the floor in hysterics. Finally, he felt it would be in his best interests – Max was looking awfully treacherous – to help her out. Purely for his own entertainment, he let her attempt another dislodgement from the bedclothes before he held out a hand to help her up.
Max stared at the offered hand as though expecting it to start to life and attack her. When she was satisfied that Alec's hand would not prove her untimely demise if she accepted his help, she reached up and begrudgingly allowed herself to be pulled up.
Her reflexes being what they were that morning – i.e. cursed and nonexistent – Max naturally lost her balance and fell backward. In the brief seconds before gravity took over, she had time to decide that, if she were going down, she'd be damn well taking Alec with her. As she fell back, Max tightened her grip on Alec's hand and grabbed his shirt with her free one. They both tumbled onto the bed.
"Max, what the –?"
No one was more surprised than Alec when Max's hand blurred and she scrunched the front of his shirt in her fist. The surprise only heightened as he suddenly became aware of the fact that his feet were no longer touching the floor. In fact, he was pretty damn sure the floor couldn't possibly feel this good.
"I know you want me Max," Alec drawled casually, making absolutely no attempt to move. "But this is a little forward, don't ya think?"
Max glared at him dangerously. When she replied, she didn't speak so much as begin swearing, loudly and fluently, mumbling rambled curses at her life, Alec and the powers that be in general. Alec was somewhat taken aback at her detailed imagery. He never would have imagined you could do that with a broomstick.
"Boo, are you –" OC stopped dead in the doorway. Her jaw dropped to the floor and her eyes widened to roughly the size of dinner plates. She'd heard the rather interesting series of thumps and noises emanating from Max's room and had decided to investigate this unusual occurrence. She had the distinct notion that Alec had more than likely done something to irk Max … like breathing. In all honesty, she'd expected to find Max using Alec as a punching bag or something of the like, maybe have the poor guy in a headlock.
But this, this was unexpected.
"Erm …" for all the attitude and sassiness that OC possessed, a suitable response to this eluded her completely. All right, so she'd heard the interesting rumours floating around Jam Pony, mostly from Sketchy who constantly blabbered on about a lap-dancing incident. This he said in Max's absence obviously; had he mentioned it in her presence, he'd be liable for a slap upside the head. Normal appeared to be too traumatised – and too much in fear of Max's apparent violent impulses – to back Sketchy up.
But OC herself had always believed that, had the rumours been true, Max would have told her something was up. In fact, when she thought about it, she was suddenly aware that something was up … and it probably had to do with Alec. OC quickly brushed off the inner ramblings; there had to be a logical explanation as to why the two transgenics were, for lack of a better word, getting cosy on Max's bed.
"Aiight," OC took quick command of the situation, hands planted firmly on her hips. Her stern gaze was unwavering as she eyed the rumpled pair in the bed. "Whatcha doin to my Boo, suga?"
"Why do you people always assume it's my fault?" Alec asked as he tried to disentangle his person from the combined clutches of Max and the possessed bedding.
"Cause it usually is," Max commented wryly from her sprawled position. She shoved against Alec's chest, momentarily choosing to conveniently forget the fact that it was her fault they were currently in this rather interesting predicament. Alec shifted against her and Max's eyes narrowed to slits. "If you don't relocate your hand right now, I swear I'm going to make sure you never have children."
"What? I didn't do it on purpose," Alec said innocently. He smoothly peeled his hand away from Max and smiled down at her winningly.
OC bit back a smile. How his hand had managed to travel to Max's butt was anyone's guess, but she was guessing by the mischievous glint in Alec's hazel eyes that he definitely had no complaints about it. From the tone of Max's voice as she loudly berated his actions, her apparent anger wasn't wholly accurate either. For a brief second, OC had to wonder if the rumours had some semblance of truth behind them.
She looked at the bickering pair, who were making no visible attempt at separating anytime soon, and shook her head. Honestly, it was like living with adolescents with attitudes. "Children," she clapped her hands. Two heads whirled around simultaneously to face her. "While this is fun and all for OC, I must remind you that Normal will can both your scrawny asses if you're late. And the fact that you've both been absent for the last week will not help any."
Having put in her two cents, she flounced out of the room and back into the kitchen.
"Ah crap," Max yelped, releasing Alec from the headlock. In turn, Alec let go of the handful of her hair that he'd managed to grab onto in their tussle. With one final wrench, the frazzled transgenics managed to separate themselves from both each other and the clutches of the crazed bedcovers.
As Alec brushed himself off, he took the opportunity to study Max in her brightly coloured nightshirt. It definitely wasn't what he'd normally expect Max to wear to bed – he knew she'd been completely wrecked after the events of the previous night … he just hadn't known how much until now. "Where on earth did you manage to procure a pre pulse pyjamas?"
Max, who up until that point had forgotten Alec was actually in the room, looked up in confusion. "What?" It took her a moment to process what Alec was saying; she looked down at the short navy blue nightie. "Present from OC. She thought it was cute."
"I don't think 'cute' is quite the word I'd use," Alec smirked, eyeing the large expanse of skin that her apparel didn't quite cover. He had to admit he'd rarely had the opportunity that afforded him such a view of so much of that golden skin.
Her only response was to throw another pillow at him. "You!" she pointed one recently manicured fingernail (OC had felt the sudden urge to beautify Max three nights ago) in the direction of the door. "Off my planet!" This time it was a hairbrush that sailed through the air. Alec laughed and ducked out of the room; the brush crashed with a solid thud against the closed door.
Max shook her head and dressed quickly. One of these days, the dratted man was going to get her committed to a nut house. And, as for this day … well, at this point, Max knew that it would only slide faster downhill.
Which it did beautifully.
When Max and Alec walked into Jam Pony side by side – as far away from each other as was humanly possibly without relocating to another planet – they should have immediately known something was amiss. Perhaps it was the utter silence that greeted their arrival. Perhaps it was the blabbered congratulations that Sketchy was proffering on them.
Or maybe, just maybe, it had to do with the hefty blue and white banner strung across the far wall near the lockers, loudly proclaiming 'Congratulations Alec and Max' in large black letters. They shared a confused look before turning back to the silent crowd that awaited them. Suddenly, there was a burst of congratulations from the assembled Jam Pony messengers so loud it nearly knocked the startled transgenics to the floor.
Max was assaulted by numerous hugs from her fellow employees. A few of the female workers were glaring at Max with undisguised jealousy. She turned to Alec who was receiving similar treatment, a very confused smile on his handsome face. "What's going on?" she mouthed; Alec shrugged in response.
A white wrapped package was thrust into her hands and she was engulfed in a Sketchy hug. When he'd pulled back, she stared at him as though he'd suddenly sprouted a second head. "Have you been sharing your drugs around?" Max asked suspiciously.
Sketchy laughed and threw a friendly arm around Max's shoulder. Max was too confused to pay much attention to it. "I can't believe you kept something like this from your best friends. What I really can't believe is that you told Normal instead of us. Even OC didn't say a word!"
OC, who had been behind the two when they'd entered, only shook her head in amused surprise. "Dun look at me, Boo," she stated empathetically. "I dun know what these people are trippin on. OC's just as confused as you are."
Had the whole world gone insane or was it just she? What the hell was going on here?
When the incessant hugging had finally ceased, Max turned to an equally dishevelled Alec and held out her hands. "What's the deal here?" By now, the assembled messengers had inexplicably started a hearty round of the wedding march. Max's eyes widened in shock as Normal appeared from a side door, wheeling out a silver, white and blue frosted monstrosity that smelled suspiciously of hazelnuts and chocolate.
Alec ran a hand through his hair. "Uh oh," he said very softly. No one else heard him, but Max certainly did and she rounded on him almost immediately.
"Uh oh?" she questioned in a deceptively calm voice. Why hadn't she thought of this earlier? If something was amiss, then it had to be Alec – there was no other logical explanation for the sudden turn of events. "Alec, what's going on? Why is Normal wheeling out a … wedding cake?!"
Alec looked down at her, eyes wide. "I didn't think he'd take me seriously!"
There was a sudden sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. You know the kind that tells you that, even though the situation is bad enough, it's still going to get worse. "What did you do?"
Alec was uncharacteristically silent.
OC burst out into uncontrollable laughter.
Meanwhile, Normal and the cake were halfway across the room. Max whipped her gaze back to Alec, her eyes flashing dangerously. Alec held out his hands in a defensive gesture. "Remember how I was supposed to make the excuses to Normal about our skipping town for a week?" Max nodded. Then her eyes widened as a sudden influx of understanding flooded her mind. "I kinda sorta let Normal believe we were going on a romantic rendezvous … of sorts."
"Actually," Alec said hurriedly. "I kinda get the impression he thinks we eloped."
"What?!" Max's yell brought the joined attention of everyone crowded into Jam Pony; heads whipped her way. Her face turned an interesting shade of pink, then red, then purple, then eventually back to pink before settling into it's original tanned state. OC, having overheard the rather loud conversation, only laughed harder.
With the most unreadable expression she was capable of, Max turned to the assembled group and smiled sweetly. "Would you give us a minute?" Without waiting for a reply of any sort from anyone, Max grabbed Alec's hand and dragged him in through the nearest door, slamming it so hard the wood around the edges splintered.
"I can explain –" Alec didn't really have a chance to finish. As soon as the door had shut, Max had rounded on him. He moved backwards until he was backed up against the wall of the utility closet Max had hauled them into; he didn't really have a choice in the matter as Max was advancing on him very slowly, a fire in her eyes he'd never seen before.
"Talk. And fast."
So he did. "You asked me to make up some story to tell Normal. I was going to say that a wedding had come up and that we both needed time off. He let me go cause I'm his 'golden boy' – by the way, let me tell ya, that's a scary thing to be. Anyway with you he was too scared to say no; something about your violent impulses or something. When I was leaving he asked who's wedding it was. I jokingly said it was ours –" he held up his hands again in surrender. "I didn't know he'd jump to conclusions like that. I didn't even think he'd take it seriously!"
"The facts – although interesting – are irrelevant," Max snapped. "The question is, what the hell are we gonna do about it?"
Alec shot her a 'how the hell am I supposed to know' look. "Look, it's not my fault Normal donated his brain before he was done using it," he said quickly, running a hand through his hair. "But we have to explain this away somehow."
"What are we supposed to say?" Max's voice was slowly rising again. "That we decided to get a divorce two days later?! That we called it off and spent a week discussing it? If we come up with a lame brained excuse, even if you are his 'golden boy', he's still gonna kick our butts out of here. We've had way too much leeway before, he's probably getting sick of it. For God's sake, this is the second time this month we've disappeared."
"Then what are you suggesting?" Alec asked. "That we pretend we actually eloped?"
"No," Max said hurriedly. She bit her lip, mulling it over in her mind. "Yes … maybe …" she threw up her hands in disgust. "Oh, I don't know!"
"I have an idea," Alec began. He was interrupted by a hesitant knock at the door and Normal's voice telling them he didn't have all day and that the celebration was waiting bip bip. "Give us a minute –" he turned back to Max. "We keep up the charade for a week or so, then we break it off. Publicly. We get separated, then divorced, we keep our jobs and our friends, and all is good in the world."
As unhappy as it made her, Max had to admit that it was a pretty reasonable plan of attack. Of course, the truth might have been easier to deal with, but she wasn't quite ready to lose her job over an Eyes Only stint. She opened her eyes, not even having realised she'd closed them in the first place, and was startled to find Alec kneeling in front of her.
"I can't believe I'm gonna say this …" he said, a cheeky grin on his face. He'd even managed to produce a ring out of nowhere – a silver band that usually encircled his right ring finger. "Maxie, will you marry me?"
Max couldn't help laughing as he slipped the ring onto her left hand. "Do I have a choice?"
"Nope," was the supremely happy reply.
"Figures," Max said, twirling her finger around so it caught the muted sunlight filtering in through the far window. "All men are idiots, and I had to marry their king."
And this was how Sketchy found them. He flung open the closet door with a flourish – the crowd had been getting restless and they wanted to see the couple they'd set out to party for – and smiled at the scene within. For a brief moment, he couldn't help but wonder why it looked like Alec was doing something he'd apparently already done. It was customary to propose before the wedding right? He shook it off quickly though as Normal joined him by the door.
OC, who had been cackling hysterically for a good part of the last ten minutes, took one look at the spectacle within the closet; her jaw dropped inelegantly to the floor and her eyebrows were dangerously close to becoming a part of her hairline. She blinked a couple of times to make sure she wasn't seeing things. When the picture remained unchanged, she cried out "What the hell!" and cheered along with the rest of them.
At least her Boo was happy …
The amount of noise inside Jam Pony was astronomical, especially since it was the middle of the morning and technically they were all working. Logan couldn't for the life of him imagine why they were cheering. In the midst of the cheers he heard the unmistakable melody of the wedding march.
He shrugged it off and stepped through the arched doorway, making as grand an entrance as he deemed possible. The entrance was unquestionably fabulous – had anyone noticed. He was surprised to find what appeared to be the entire Jam Pony populace surrounding a small closet opposite Normal's usual domain. The natural nosy reporter skills that had been so good to him in the past urged him forward to see what had captivated their attention.
There were murmurs of 'how sweet' and 'it's about time' and 'don't they make a cute couple' as he rummaged through the crowd, intent on finding Max, OC or Sketchy. Hell, with this jam, he'd even be glad to see Alec.
He finally pushed himself to the front of the crowd. He spotted OC and hurried over to her side. "What's going on?" he asked curiously. OC let out a small 'eep' that sounded like she was choking on a fur ball as soon as she saw him. Logan couldn't for the life of him figure why she'd had that reaction …
"Hey Logan," Sketchy welcomed him warmly, eyes intent on the scene in the closet.
The bespectacled man turned at that very moment to survey the sight that had everyone so captivated. Logan, who had been all set to reply with a hearty 'hello' to Sketchy's greeting, promptly fainted.
TBC (depends on you, I guess)
Whattaya think? Continue or not … that was fun! Anyway, haven't forgotten Right Kind of Wrong. Au contraire, I'm in the middle of writing the next chapter – I had a brilliant breakthrough a few days ago and had to rewrite the entire thing – and will probably post before the week is through.
Read and review if you'd like – or just read and enjoy :)Starlite Princess