Disclaimer: I do not - nor have I ever, or ever will - own Naruto. It's a hard truth but there it is.

These oneshots - uploaded as I write them at random intervals - are the story ideas I've had over the years and never put them up online. Why? Just because. They're not outstanding literary works but they are fun to read and that's what people need every now and then.

Every oneshot is dedicated the members of the NaruHina You Were Always By My Side forum at , they're an awesome bunch of people.

Clothing Chaos

Premise: AU. We've all probably been in a clothing store where the door of the change room is a curtain. Have you ever been in a store where the individual change rooms are a single curtain hanging from the roof to the floor in a circular fashion? I came across one a few years ago and though how awkward it would be to accidentally try to lean on it while changing. If only we could all have something as nice to fall on like Hinata does.

Posted - December 25, 2013.

Naruto Uzumaki kept his head down as he went through the doors. Anyone would think he was leading a funeral procession. Except for the fact that he'd walked into a clothing boutique with walls of pink, and lace trimming. Lifting his head slightly, he made a beeline for the only other miserable-looking figure in the store. Coming up beside the dark-haired man, he punched him in the arm.

"I don't see why I have to come shopping with your girlfriend." Naruto whined at the other man.

Sasuke turned his dark eyes on Naruto. "Because she's your best friend, and I don't see why I should suffer alone."

"You are an evil bastard Sasuke-"

"Naruto you're finally here! Here, take this for me! Sasuke-kun, take this. And can you grab the size 8 of that top over there? And Naruto, follow me. But grab that white jacket while I grab this dress," ordered a pink-haired young woman with fierce green eyes and an even fiercer temper.

"Sakura, why do you need all these clothes?" Naruto asked.

"I don't need all of them, stupid. I have to go to a few of the hospital's parties over the next few weeks and I need the right outfits. Now, shut up and follow me."

As Naruto followed Sakura to the fitting rooms, forgetting to take the white jacket, he loathed even the sight of the curtained changing cubicles.

"What is the point of a change room made of a curtain? It can't be very safe, or private."

Sakura didn't answer, she only snatched the clothes out of his hand. After being instructed not to go anywhere, Naruto sighed as he leaned against a wall facing the curtain change rooms. He wanted to be anywhere else but here. Kiba, Lee and the other guys had invited him to an early drink at the pub. He briefly watched a dark-haired girl shove some clothes through to someone apparently changing behind another ridiculous curtained change room, before she disappeared back into the boutique.

"I really don't want to be here." He thought to himself.

"I really don't want to be here."

Hinata Hyuga huffed as she shimmied into a pair of skin-tight black jeans. She couldn't understand why she kept agreeing to go shopping with her sister Hanabi. Hinata liked shopping, but at her own pace. Hanabi had a sense of urgency and seemed to want to visit every store and have her older sister try on every item of clothing that was her size. Not that the clothes always were her size. And these types of clothes! She would never wear jeans this tight. And the top, it was cut way too low.

But Hanabi seemed to take it personally if she didn't try on everything she suggested. She also seemed to like putting her older sister through torture.

"Naruto, come here and take this, I need you to go and get a size lower," came a voice from the changing room beside her.

Hinata herself had been in the change room for the last twenty minutes trying on all the clothes Hanabi passed her way. If she got her own clothes on quick enough, she could make a hasty retreat from the store. Unbuttoning and unzipping the tight pants while almost simultaneously trying to take off the top, Hinata got stuck. She gave a hearty, forceful wrench at the top, only to have it get stuck and bunch up under her armpits. She decided her best course of action was the lean against the change room and put all her weight into pulling up the top.

She realised only half a second too late that her change room was only made out of one continuous curtain.

Naruto's mind was having trouble comprehending the situation. One moment he was next to Sakura's change room ready to receive the proffered garment, the next he was on the floor with a beautiful woman straddling his waist. And she was quite a sight to behold.

Her breasts were the first thing he noticed. To be fair, they were bare except for a pretty violet bra cupping them exactly right. The woman's arms were over her head, and what seemed to be a shirt bunched under her armpits. Although this only enhanced her already great cleavage.

Next, his eyes travelled down her tight stomach to the hint of orange underwear peeking out through a pair of unbuttoned pants. For years to come, he would never be able to remember the colour of the pants, only the orange of the underwear.

After what seemed like an eternity, but was really only a few moments, Naruto looked up at the woman's face. All he saw was blue hair, silver eyes and a red blush before she shrieked and was up and behind her curtain in a second.

He lay on the ground for only a moment longer before he was hauled to his feet by two security guards. Suddenly there was a mass of people around, including Sakura, Sasuke, the boutique's manager, and the younger girl that had been handing clothes to the woman that had fallen on him a moment ago. All of those faces were displaying some sort of negative emotion, except Sasuke, who looked mildly amused.

All of the negative faces were also shouting at him, and he couldn't decipher any, but the manager's last words came through loud and clear. "I will not tolerate sexual harassment of any kind in my store, I'm going to have to call the police-"

Naruto prickled. "Hey, now hang on a minute-"


The voice cut through the shouts and the curtain to the change room opened to reveal the blushing, blue-haired woman. Naruto noticed she'd managed to get back into what he could assume was her own shirt, but there was still the peek of orange underwear through those ridiculously tight jeans. All heads turned to her.

"It was an accident!" She continued passionately until her eyes met Naruto's and she sunk into a spiral of embarrassment that made her blush deepen. "A-and anyway," she stuttered. "It was m-more my fault. I f-fell on him."

"But miss, you screamed," the manager said.

The young woman blushed harder, as if she hated the fact this was taking so long. "I f-fell onto this man half dressed, with p-personal areas on display. I screamed because I was em-embarrassed, nothing more."

The manager looked as if he were considering the possibility of her explanation, until Naruto noticed the older man's eyes travelled down the young woman's figure to rest lingeringly on her unbuttoned jeans. He bristled and stepped in front of the young woman, blocking the manager's view.

"You should be lucky she doesn't file a complaint against the store. Curtains for a dressing room! Why, anyone would think you only wanted to get a peek."

The glare Naruto fixed on the manager let the older man know he'd been caught out in his gaze of the young woman. The manager seemed to shrink in size under the metaphorical shadow cast by Naruto's frame and he slinked back into the store. Naruto turned to face the young woman, keeping his eyes fixed on her face.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

They stared at each other, mouths agape.

"Y-you have nothing to be s-sorry for. I f-fell on you," she said, resisting the urge to poke her index fingers together. It had been a nervous habit she'd had as a child.

"I guess so, but like you said, you had personal areas on display. Not that I minded, you look great. Argh!" He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "What am I saying? Sorry!"

Her face was going from one shade of red to another with each of his phrases, before her sister stepped in and made her even more embarrassed.

"Ah, Hinata, your panties are showing!" Hinata cried, loud enough for anyone in the store to hear.

Hinata's face went from sunburnt to tomato red and she spun around with a squeak, diving into her curtain changing room for privacy. Sakura, thoroughly amused at the reddening of Naruto's cheeks, patted her oldest friend on the shoulder.

"Naruto, why don't you and Sasuke go and get a drink in the food court? I'll still be a little while."

Naruto hesitated for a moment, his eyes lingering on the closed curtains with the young woman called Hinata behind them. He failed to notice the smirk that adorned Hanabi's face as he turned away.

He took a few steps before he stopped, turned around and addressed the curtains. "Thanks for standing up for me, that was brave of you. I like people like you, you do what is right for others, putting your feelings after theirs. That makes you a good person. Do you think…no, never mind. Thanks again."

With that, he and Sasuke left the store and Hanabi smirked deviously after him. She turned back towards her sister's change room and saw that Hinata had poked her head out, looking after the blonde man as his figure disappeared from sight. Hanabi caught her eye and raised an eyebrow. Hinata was red in the face and while Hanabi knew what her older sister had done – stepping out of the change room in that situation – had been a bold move for her, she hadn't made enough strides in her self-confidence to follow after him.

But Hanabi had.

She rushed out of the store, calling after Naruto as he walked with his dark-haired friend towards the food court. He turned around at the sound of his name and recognised the young woman racing towards him. She whipped a pen out of the satchel she was carrying and yanked one of his arms towards her, writing on his hand.

"This is my sister's phone number. She's too shy to admit she'd like you to call her," Hanabi said.

"I can't – I mean – I don't want her to think I was calling her because I saw," he paused, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "How good she looks."

"You said she was brave and a good person. That's enough for me. Trust me, I wouldn't let any sleazeball near her. Look, give it a couple of days and if you want to call her, call her. I won't tell her I've given you her number, so she won't be hurt if you don't call."

Hanabi left with a dramatic twirl and Naruto looked down at the numbers on the back of his hand. He whipped out his phone and saved the digits in his address book for later use.

Just under a year later when Naruto and Hinata announced their engagement, Hanabi gleefully demanded to be their maid of honour and god mother to their first child.

Merry Christmas everyone!