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Eric sits on the edge of his bed as I straddle his lap. He's kissing me and I can feel his fingers stray underneath my shirt. I gasp at the sensation, his fingers lightly brushing my stomach and back set me on fire. I lean to kiss him hard and he starts to unbutton my shirt.

Wendy tells me he's just looking for comfort, and doesn't care where he gets it from. Cartman's been alone for so long, he's starve for affection, he'll even go so far as to be with me, to use me, that's how lonely he is. I think about how she kissed him when we were children. She didn't even care to find out how he felt about the whole thing.

Eric slides my shirt off my shoulders and drops it on the floor. His hands land on my back as he kisses my neck. I'm trembling; the butterflies in my stomach go into a whirl spin. My hands reach the hem of his shirt and I begin pulling it off.

Kenny says I'm projecting, or rather, Cartman's reflecting. He's a sociopath, he's not capable of emotions. What he's doing is reflecting the love he sees me give him and giving it right back to me, so it's almost like I'm loving myself. But Cartman initiates everything, how can he reflect my love when he doesn't know what it looks like yet?

We're both running hands across each other's bodies. Eric pulls me back and I'm leaning against his strong arms. He kisses my chest and delicately sucks one of my nipples. My hands land on his shoulders and I dig my nails into his flesh, the feeling is too much.

Kyle lets me know Cartman is a manipulative asshole. He wants to make me his bitch so he has something to fuck whenever he wants. He'll pretend he's sweet for a while, but soon the real Cartman will come out, and it won't be pretty. But it's been a while, and he's never fucked me. All we do is make love.

Eric pulls me into his arms as we kiss. Carefully he lays me on the bed so my head is lying on his pillows. He trails kisses down from my lips until he reaches my stomach. He swiftly unbuckles my pants and tugs them off. He leans down and kisses me some more.

Stan, miraculously, tells me nothing. But I can tell he's watching and figuring out just how this is going to play out.

I unbuckle his belt and Eric takes off his pants. He leans over me and pushes his pelvis into mine. I can feel his erection through his boxers and he can feel mine through my underwear. He continues to rub into me and my hips lift up on their own. I hear him sigh my name.

Bebe wants to warn me not to be shocked when, not if, when, I catch him with someone else. It won't be my fault, she assures me, it's just how Cartman was raised, he doesn't know any better. As though I wasn't the one who took his virginity, as if the thought of being with someone else doesn't disgust him.

Eric rolls off my underwear and stares at my naked body. His gaze makes me blush, it's a mixture of desire, lust, and something else, something more docile. Like love. He leans over my erection and engulfs it in his mouth. He makes little noises as he sucks and I can feel his tongue prodding me. He glides his tongue along the bottom part of my member and licks the tip before sitting up again. Now his boxers are off.

Craig doesn't understand me at all. He wonders why I put myself in the way of such an unruly behemoth instead of just stepping aside and praying he doesn't notice me.

I grab the lube bottle from Eric's nightstand and hand it to him. He slabs a large amount on his hand and begins caressing my bottom. He slips two fingers inside of me and I can't help but moan out his name. He smiles. Eric pulls his hand away and wipes the remainder of the lube on his penis by pumping it a few times. He leans over me and I pull him down to kiss him as he enters me.

Token truly believes Cartman is mentally disturbed, at best mentally unstable. If I'm not careful, I could be cut up into pieces and fed to his cat.

As we move together I look into Eric's eyes for anything, any sign that what everyone is saying is even slightly true. I search for a glint that proves he's a liar, that tells me he's internally mocking me, that tells me he's using me. I've known him for so long, I've tagged along to so many schemes, I know when he's lying, I'm not naïve. But I don't see anything. His amber eyes are soft. He leans over and kisses my neck again.

"Butters," he whispers in my ear. "God, you feel so good."

"You feel even better," I reply.

He pulls back to face me and I can tell his pink hue from exertion is turning into a darker red from blushing. He rarely gets compliments outside of me.

I'm getting close and my back involuntarily arches as I come. I feel Eric's own release inside of me.

I fall back into bed and Eric pushes himself up. He pulls out of me and reaches for his comforter that was discarded onto the floor. He pulls it up and covers us both with it. He kisses my cheek and I turn to look at him.

Eric's smiling that smile I've only ever seen when he's intimate with me. I lean over and kiss him. I'm smiling too.

Sometimes I wish everyone could see Eric how I see him, maybe then all these comments would finally stop. If they just understood instead of thinking me moronic.

That was never going to happen though. In the outside world he's Cartman. Cold, bitter, spiteful, uncompassionate, wrathful, ruthless Cartman. His tongue is sharp and he never hesitates to throw some choice words at those around him. He only uses people and never lets anyone in. But that's what they get. All of them. They've never given him the benefit of the doubt so why should he? If they insult him, Cartman has to defend himself, and that's all they'll ever know.

He's different with me. He's Eric with me. His eyes become soft and warm, full of love. His sharp tongue dulls when he explores my body with it and murmurs sweet nothings into my ear. But I've always been kind and gentle with him. I've listened to him, I've comforted him, I've been there for him, and now I get to reap my rewards.

I put my hands on his chest and let myself be immersed in his arms. I shiver has he traces my spine with his hands and I kiss him.

"I love you, Eric," I whisper.

Now I see him looking into my eyes for the truth. No matter what, his initial reaction is to reject my feelings, think I'm lying. His walls turn up and he must guard himself. But after a moment I see his eyes soften again. He puts his hand on my cheek and rubs my face with his thumb. I smile at him.

"I love you too, Butters," he whispers to me, leaning over to kiss me.

Sometimes I wish others could see Eric this way, but mostly I'm glad I'm the only one.