…And I'm back with the long awaited chapter 3! I decided to throw in a surprise at the end of the chapter. Hint: it has to do with the chapter title.


Dumbledore waved his hand, and the large castle-box looking thing dissolved, leaving in its place, a giant goblet. Seconds later, a blue flame rose from the goblet.

"The Goblet of Fire." Dumbledore announced. Naruto silently snorted. These wizards weren't that creative were they? She wished she could have named it… Naruto would have given it a really bad ass name. "Anyone wishing to submit themselves to the tournament, merely write their name on a piece of parchment and throw it into the flame before this hour on Thursday night. Do not do so lightly. If chosen, there's no turning back. As from this moment, the Triwizard tournament has begun." Naruto was surprised by the tone of the old man's voice. Maybe this tournament will turn out to be a challenge. Naruto smiled. That meant that she would get to have a lot of fun~!


"Now, students, you are to return to you dormitories. Classes will start normally tomorrow. I will ask that the students of Durmstrang and Ms. Uzumaki to follow me to where your rooms are located." Dumbledore said. Naruto got up, said goodbye to the twins, and followed him.

She started to think over how she should proceed with her mission from here. Assuming that she would be given her own room, she would be able to start mapping out her next move from there. Discreetly, she made several clones and sent them to scout the castle. She also-

"So what is it like at Konoha Academy?" a courageous Durmstrang student asked on their walk. "Is it really a combat school?" Naruto turned around and raised an eyebrow. He interrupted her train of thought.

Seeing this, the boy sputtered before saying, "I mean, you don't seem like the kind of girl who would be into that kind of thing." His friends laughed around him. They thought she was hot too, but after she had threatened that girl with a spoon, they thought she might be a little off her rocker. That didn't mean that some of them were not interested in her anymore. Most of the students didn't really think that she could ever hurt the girl she threatened. The really didn't think she was a combat specialist ether.

"What I meant was, I really can't see how a pretty girl like you could be a killer." The boy tried again, and with that, Naruto started laughing.

"HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH~! You really don't think that I could kill? HAHAHAH!" She wiped a tear from her eye. Naruto was too dense to realize that the boy had been flirting with her. "You're talking to me as if you guys aren't trained to kill! HA!" The boy's face was blank. Naruto's eyes widened, and she moved closer to the boy. "You mean you aren't?!" this boy could prove to be helpful in her mission.

"NO! Why would I ever want to kill a person?" he asked rhetorically, blushing slightly as she crept closer to his face. Naruto, however, thought he was asking her.

"Because your opponent is trying to kill you, you're on an assassination mission, or you really just want to because they annoy the hell out of you." Naruto stated, more like recited. Those were her three main reasons for 'reasons to kill people', even if she didn't follow one.

"NO! Killing people is wrong! The only wizards I know of that kill people are dark wizards, and killing people is against the law, both wizarding and muggle ones at that!" the boy exclaimed indignantly. Naruto restrained her urge to hit her head against a wall. Sure, she tried to refrain from killing needlessly and the big no-no, innocents, but she believed that a person must be ready to kill in order to survive. Especially in her case. It was a kill or be killed world. But somehow…

Wizards were pacifists!

…Well, then they were in for the shock of their lives. Naruto had a lot of things to report to Tsunade.


For the remainder of the walk, Naruto did not interact with the other students. Instead she merely observed the castle. It was quite magnificent and far grander than any building back home. The shifting stair cases and moving objects defiantly freaked her out; however, the animated paintings were slightly less surprising after teaming up with Sai.

The group stopped in front of a long, vertical painting, one of many that littered the walls of Hogwarts. The painting depicted an apple orchard with one man harvesting apples.

"Ms. Uzumaki, this will be your living quarters for the remainder of your stay here. The door is password protected. You may set it to what ever you like, just make sure to inform the orchard man. He will let you in." Dumbledore adjusted his crescent spectacles, pushing them up in a fashion that made them glint. This seemingly irrelevant action seemed to amplify the now slightly disturbing twinkle in his eyes.

"Sure, sure, whatever, old man." She said carelessly while waving her hand side to side. The headmaster nodded, and continued with the rest of the group.

"So you're supposed to be an 'orchard man'. What the hell is that, and how can you open a door when you're a two dimensional thing?" The little man opened his mouth to answer, but Naruto silenced him, "And don't say that you can open the door by magic because that would make no sense. Not because magic can seemingly do anything, no, because you are a drawing! How can you have magical powers! You're FLAT! And you have no wand." The blonde finished with a huff. Magic can do almost anything, sure, but how can a fricken painting open a door?!

The little man in suspenders was quiet for a moment, opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it, and was silent for another good five minutes. Finally, he said, "I am the orchard man. Please set your password."

"You little shit!" Naruto yelled in a threatening manner, a kunai already positioned in her hand to rip the painting.

"'you little shit' has been set to the password. You may enter." The man went back to tending to the trees.

Naruto made sure to flip him the bird as she entered.


Dear Baa-chan,

I have safely arrived at Hogwarts. No need to worry~! After arriving, I threw up on Headmaster Nightgown's office floor. He was able to clean it up with a flick of his wand (I know, cool, right? We need to start investing in some cleaning jutsu… maybe they could use so little chakra so civilians could use them?). He tried to get me to do a grand entrance for the tournament so that he, along with the rest of the staff, could see just what a combat school could do.

He obviously thought I was some sort of dumb blonde! HAHAHAHA! Me? Dumb?

So I pulled an Anko with my entrance. I assume that you are familiar. Then, I threatened to kill a girl with this ingenious device called a 'spoon'. The wizards here use it for eating, but I think that it defiantly has potential in the T&I department. Basically, it's a small, oval-circle like, scoopy thing attached to a metal handle. The scoopy is also made out of metal. They seemed to have found a way to mass produce these! They don't even see the potential in their creation!

The most outrageous thing happened. THEY DON'T HAVE RAMEN! THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT RAMEN WAS! I am doomed. How dare you curse me to this hell hole. If this is pay back, Baa-chan, for calling you Baa-chan, I get it! Now… SEND ME RAMEN!

Later on, while we were being escorted to our rooms, I sent some shadow clones to scout the castle (yes, Hogwarts is a castle). I also managed to learn from one of the boys from the other school participating that wizards are pacifists. They don't believe in killing at all, and apparently, the only ones who do kill are dark wizards.

…I also got into a fight with a painting… and because of that, the password to my room is now 'you little shit'.

…at least I know that no one will guess it~! They seem not to like cursing here.

The future Hokage,

Naruto Uzumaki

P.S. I have to ask, is Nightgown-sensei older than you? I know I said something about that before I left, but now that I'm thinking about it… I really have no idea. Please help me with my moral dilemma, Baa-chan.


When Dumbledore had first discovered Konoha's Academy, he had also stumbled upon another school with the same parameters of study.

Suna Academy of Magic and Combat.

Dumbledore assumed that the two were joint, as they both possessed the same fields of study. Because of this, he was not sure who to address the letter of invitation to. With the reassurance that the two were ultimately one school, he sent a letter addressed to both figuring that the school would toss the duplicate away.

However, he was wrong.

Gaara, the Kazekage, read the odd letter in his hands several times. His decision was unknowingly the same as Tsunade's: send the best, as the letter had instructed, but treat this as a infiltration mission.

With a sigh, he set the letter down.

He was going to Hogwarts.

…The wizards were doomed.


"PANDA-CHAN~! What are you doing here?"

"…"

"Naruto, get off of me…. Right now, or for the love of Kami I will crush your skull."

"I LOVE YOU TOO, PANDA-CHAN~!"


Woot~! One more chapter finished!

So far the pairing pole is at:

FredxNaruxGeorge - 13

NaruxKurama - 12

NaruxGaara - 6

NaruxHarry - 5

NaruxSasuke - 4

NaruxDraco - 2

I took some off because they only got one or no votes. Keep on voting~! Also, If there is anything you really would like to see happen in this story, leave it in your review, and I will see if I can incorporate it into the story!