This is the actual final chapter of this story!
Warning: contains sexual references (at least). So just yeah, just be warned about slight (ever so slight) mature content, yeah? Nothing too big; kinda just mild mentioning...but yeah...
"Oi, little Uchiha," Hidan called out loudly over the sound of the thudding music in the Uchiha mansion. Sasuke looked up irritably as he failed to make a shot in the game of beer pong he was currently playing with Naruto. "Where's Itachi?"
"I don't know," he snapped shortly, "Hiding in his room or something?"
"Is that so…" Hidan mused mischievously, hauling a rather tipsy Deidara up from where he was lounging on the couch in the company of a rather cute and apparently very available girl. "You're coming with me."
"What the hell?" Deidara complained, struggling as he was dragged off towards the door by the scruff of his shirt. "Where are you taking me, yeah?"
" –To spy on fucking Itachi, of course," Hidan snorted with a wicked gleam in his eyes. Deidara stopped struggling and mulled over this course of action, the same gleam lighting up in his eyes.
"He's actually going to kill us this time, yeah," he reminded his friend with a raised eyebrow.
"If we catch him doing the dirty then I can fucking die happy," he sniffed back with a smirk. Deidara deadpanned and replied, "Dude…that is so gay I don't even know what else to say, yeah."
"Imagine his face if we catch him," Hidan pointed out and Deidara actually frowned and let out a low whistle, that same smirk spreading across his face, "Gotcha."
"Fine, come on," Deidara sniggered, tugging Hidan by the elbow, "I know the best way to climb up to his window –"
"…I don't get why you didn't just say something," Naruto complained, cursing as he missed his shot against Sasuke, "If you'd just, you know, came out, then those girls wouldn't have been chasing you for like, ever…"
"It's not like I was ready to be out," he snorted, "I didn't want you to start acting weird if you found out I wasn't into girls…" Naruto cringed, wondering how he would've reacted to finding out that Sasuke liked him if he'd already known that the Uchiha was into guys…
"…Well…it would've been less surprising," he muttered crossly, "And I might have gotten a speech out before you decided to kiss me!"
" –I might have realised your intentions!" he sniffed.
"Unlikely," Sasuke smirked, "You're pretty dense." His next shot landed deftly in one of Naruto's cups and the blonde was forced to down it; swaying slightly.
"Oi, shut it, bastard!" Naruto complained good-naturedly, matching Sasuke's shot and forcing the Uchiha to drink as well.
"You kissed back…" Sasuke muttering into his drink as he downed it.
"You surprised me!"
"You were moaning and grinding on me."
"Don't say that so loud!" Naruto hissed, blushing. "That's so embarrassing!"
"…And really, why'd you suddenly decide to be my friend?" Sasuke inquired mockingly. Naruto glowered at him as another ping pong ball landed in the cup in front of him, meaning that if Sasuke made his last shot, he'd won.
"I already told you," he complained, "I'd never tried being nice, because I thought you were an asshole. But then Shikamaru said that you being an asshole is just a front and that you actually treated me nicely."
"…Tch…that Shikamaru…" Sasuke sighed, shaking his head incredulously, and glancing across to room to where Shikamaru was conversing amiably with Gaara, whilst also being on the lookout for Kankuro in the attempt to not get punched in the face by his sometimes-girlfriend's brother –the one that opposed their relationship.
"And I mean…" Naruto admitted quietly, fidgeting with his ping pong ball, "…Hanging out with you was fun. I uhh, I liked being your friend –hey!" He exclaimed as Sasuke promptly cheated, taking Naruto's turn and landing the ball straight in the blonde's final cup. In a flash, the Uchiha was standing right next to Naruto, with his hands planted firmly on his hips and their foreheads pressed together.
"…But now you like me, right?" he commented in a low tone, Naruto completely trapped in his deep, midnight gaze. His eyes were free enough to flick down to Sasuke's mouth and he subconsciously licked his upper lip.
"You're so needy," Naruto teased, feeling Sasuke's fingers gently trail up underneath his shirt to feather across his skin. "Yes, okay…" He looked pointedly at Sasuke's nose –that was a safe place to stare. "Shikamaru said that I was as bad as your fangirls."
"You are," Sasuke smirked as he leaned forwards to kiss the edge of his lips. Naruto glared up at him and stuck out his tongue.
"I'm trying to say nice things!" he growled crossly, and Sasuke pulled back a little –but didn't remove his hands from the blonde's waist. "I uhh…realised that…" He toyed with the hem of Sasuke's shirt. "…I kinda always tried to get your attention…And I just didn't realise until well…until you…kissed me…that it was coz I…" Sasuke, apparently tired of hearing about the past and more concerned with the cute, conflicted face Naruto was making, dove forwards and pressed his lips up against the blonde's.
Naruto's hands fisted Sasuke's shirt in surprise, but he quickly let his lips part so that Sasuke's tongue could trail against his own. A small moan escaped from the back of his throat as his clawing hands slid upwards to clutch at the Uchiha's hair.
"God, are you two going to be like this all the time?" Kiba suddenly remarked dryly from where he had suddenly appeared at Naruto's side. Naruto, completely embarrassed that he couldn't keep himself under control, wrenched backwards and glared at Sasuke.
"We're busy," Sasuke informed Kiba flatly, but Naruto just elbowed him in the gut.
"Oi, if this is gonna work, you're gonna have to be less of a dick," Naruto snapped flatly.
"Work?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow and Naruto flushed again and averted his eyes.
"Well…I thought you…wanted me to be your boyfriend…right?" he ventured to guess. Well, that was what he'd assumed –not that Sasuke had actually asked him out…
"Tch…moron…" Sasuke rolled his eyes dramatically.
"That wasn't an answer," Naruto complained, so Sasuke kissed him again. He pulled back again and jabbed him in the chest with a finger, "Neither was that! Hands to yourself, Uchiha! I'm not used to this whole…thing yet!"
"…You certainly seem like you're enjoying it," an amused female voice remarked from nearby and Naruto nearly leapt out of his skin as he spied Sakura emerging from the crowd.
"S-Sakura," Naruto stammered, not having had the chance to talk to her since he and Sasuke's little display at the game, "Uhh…I can explain…"
"Can it, idiot," Sakura sniffed, bringing a fist down on his head for using such a terrified voice at the sight of her, "I'm not mad."
"Huh?" Naruto's eyes bulged as he clutched at his head, "You…you're not?"
"How could I be?" she sighed, "You're my friend. And if Sasuke wants to shove his tongue down your throat, then I never stood a chance to begin with." She shrugged. "…Anyway, it's kind of my own fault for going along with Shikamaru –" Instantly, Kiba clamped his hand over her mouth as her alcohol-loosened tongue nearly spilled the beans on the fact that they had kind of tricked Naruto. Thankfully, the blonde and his Uchiha were again publically sucking face.
"God, never thought I'd see Sasuke Uchiha into PDA," Gaara remarked from across the room.
"I suspect he's laying claim," Shikamaru yawned with a shrug, before clapping him on the shoulder, "The bastard will be back when the alcohol lifts –"
"I hope so," Gaara deadpanned, "…Kind of for Naruto's sake…" He nodded over at the pair, where Naruto was now crossly growling at the raven for his wandering hands. "…Shall we go challenge them to beer pong?"
"Knock yourself out," Shikamaru shrugged, "…Actually…" he added with a wicked glint in his eyes, "…Go find Neji –you know he never passes up an opportunity to prove he's better than us all. Put him on Sasuke's team, it'll be hilarious." Gaara chuckled with a smirk –always interested in how he could twist the Hyuuga's words into sexual innuendos…
Shikamaru just rolled his shoulders and grinned to himself as he sipped casually on a beer. Ahh, usually it was troublesome being a genius. But sometimes it was a hell of a lot of fun.
"Oh my god…" Hidan hissed under his breath as he and Deidara perched precariously in the trees looking into Itachi's second-storey bedroom window. They were relatively well-concealed by the leaves, but had a very good view of what was happening in that room.
Currently, Itachi and Kisame were both shirtless and on Itachi's huge bed; Kisame hovering between Itachi's spread legs and supporting the Uchiha with one strong arm.
They couldn't hear what was happening, but it was very obvious that Itachi's breath was coming in laboured pants as he clutched at Kisame's hair as he lapped sensually at one of the Uchiha's nipples. Itachi's pale body arched up into Kisame's mouth as the sculpted quarterback nipped at the sensitive nub and looked up at Itachi with eyes glazed with lust.
Hidan felt a low breath escape him as he watched one of Kisame's hands slide down into Itachi's pants and begin stroking him. Itachi's body shook further with the contact and he clawed at one of Kisame's shoulders, letting out a gasp. His long, dark hair was still tied back but trailing down his naked back and Kisame was gripping it as he moved closer.
Kisame must've done something with the hand down Itachi's pants because the raven jerked up, throwing his head back with a moan. He was then pressed down onto his back, Kisame hovering over him and his lips kissing a harsh trail up Itachi's pale chest and throat; sucking at his pulse and tweaking his nipples playfully.
"Holy shit…" Deidara whispered, barely able to believe that they were actually watching this. Sending Itachi sexually explicit valentines was one thing, but watching him getting pleasured by their other friend was something completely different.
Itachi's hands were sliding down Kisame's chest to undo Kisame's pants, hand sliding into his boxers and his eyes apparently widening in astonishment before his partner leaned down and kissed him deeply; pressing both hands into the mattress either side of the raven's head. Kisame's hips rolled down against Itachi's, pushing his legs further apart and making Itachi mouth something that looked suspiciously like 'harder…'
Hidan wasn't aware that he'd started breathing so heavily. Smirking to himself, he fidgeted on the branch that they were sitting on, and it wobbled precariously. Deidara grabbed Hidan in shock; set off balance by the branch, but the result of this was that this further unbalanced Hidan, and the two of them toppled out of the tree.
Luckily, they managed to avoid yelling as they fell. Luckily, the garden broke their fall. Unluckily, they wound up, like they so often seemed to, on top of each other.
"…Fucking hell Deidara…" Hidan complained, lying flat on his back for a moment before slowly rising up to rub his head. Deidara let out a low groan, and brushed his long blonde hair back off his face and realised that he was currently straddling Hidan's lap.
"Asshole," he grumbled, "…What the fuck were you doing, yeah? Trying to perve better?"
"Something like that, yeah," Hidan smirked with a chuckle, looking up, "Fuck…that tree was bigger than it thought." Deidara let out a low mumble of agreement and Hidan suddenly cackled to himself.
"Oi, giddy-up," he smirked in the blonde's ear playfully. Deidara leaned back and stared at him incredulously as his friend gave him a wicked look. He looked down to the way he was positioned on Hidan's lap.
"Did you seriously just tell me to ride you, yeah?" he deadpanned and Hidan sniggered to himself, practically shaking with laughter at the look on Deidara's face. The blonde's eyes narrowed and decided that fine, he was going to play Hidan's game, if the asshole was going to be like that!
"What?" he remarked in a low tone, draping an arm over Hidan's shoulder and forcing his friend to look up into his face. "Like this, yeah?" Seductively, he rolled his hips up against Hidan's so that their crotches ground together slow and hard.
Hidan, knowing that Deidara would try and embarrass him, had already planned a sly, "Mhmm," as a response, combined with a smirk –but what came out was much different.
"Mmm…" he moaned throatily, his hand automatically reaching around to clutch at Deidara's back, his eyes falling to half-mast as he felt Deidara move against him. Arousal that had been brewing while watching Itachi and Kisame was suddenly lit.
"…What the fuck…" Deidara whispered in confusion, his eyes wide as he looked down at the expression on Hidan's face. The platinum-haired man licked his lips, and suddenly Deidara felt a hand on the back of his neck. "Hidan…what are you…what…" That was all he managed to get out before Hidan leaned forwards and locked their lips together.
For a moment, Deidara tried to shove him back, but Hidan was stronger, and dragged him closer, forcing his tongue into his mouth. Any resistance that the blonde might have had, began to crumble as he deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around Hidan's neck and pressing their bodies together.
God, they had got to stop letting this happen when they got drunk.
Not that he really minded while it was happening.
Hidan was a jackass, but he had to admit that he was so turned on just by kissing him.
Deidara felt hands slide down his back and grip his ass, and he let out a low moan into Hidan's mouth. He could feel his friend smirking as he bucked his hips up, and he obligingly ground down on him again; setting up a hot, heavy rhythm and feeling himself growing steadily more aroused.
"Ahh…Hidan…oh fuck…" Deidara moaned as Hidan kissed to his chin and then viciously sucked down his throat, one of his hands sliding down the back of the blonde's pants and grabbing a handful of flesh. Gripping at Hidan's short platinum hair, he rolled his hips a little more vigorously and let out another loud moan. "Fuck yes…shit…ahh…" His voice grew louder as he felt Hidan's clothed arousal pressing up into him.
"Shit…Deidara…you feel too good…" Hidan growled like a wild animal, violently rolling the pair of them so that he was on top with Deidara's legs spread to either side of him. "Ahh…fuck…you like that?" he hissed, nipping the blonde's ear as he ground his hips up against Deidara's ass. Deidara moaned appreciatively, hands coursing down Hidan's back to encourage him onwards. Their breaths were coming in gasps as they rocked against each other; years' worth of sexual tension struggling for release.
All of a sudden, there was the sound of a window being wrenched open, and Hidan let out a loud yelp as something heavy landed on top of him, followed by a box landing in the dirt beside them.
"What the fuck…" Hidan cursed, looking up. He and Deidara immediately looked shocked at being caught, as a shirtless (and presumably naked) Itachi peered down at them malevolently from his bedroom window. Hidan swore under his breath as he glanced at what had hit him and realised that it was a small bottle of lube –and the box was a box of condoms.
"Itachi, what the fu –"
"Just fuck each other already," Itachi snapped in exasperation as Kisame appeared at his side –also presumably naked, and looking a little more amused than the Uchiha, "We're kinda busy and no offense Hidan, but hearing Deidara moan your name is kind of a turn off." He folded his arms and glared down at them.
"Get out of the garden," Kisame advised, and the pair of them hurriedly scrambled to their feet, "And Hidan! Make sure you prepare him well!"
"Prepare –" Hidan raised an eyebrow as he looked up. Kisame just tried not to laugh and waggled three fingers back at him. Deidara visibly gulped slightly as Hidan collecting up what Itachi had oh-so-thoughtfully tossed at them as they headed back inside.
Smirking to himself, Itachi violently yanked the window shut and was immediately wrapped up in a pair of strong arms and dragged back to bed.
The music grew louder as the night wore on –mostly to drown out the sounds of the various couples that were making use of the Uchiha mansion's many guest rooms. By this late stage, many of them were staggering around in a drunken daze –trying to distinguish between roof and floor.
Sasuke was currently rather proud of how well he was managing to maintain upright. He and Neji had lost a game of beer pong against Gaara and Naruto earlier in the night, and he was determined to have a rematch. He'd been drinking with Tenten and Kankuro for a while –didn't really know where Naruto was, but wasn't too bothered. He'd promised to find Gaara and drag him back for that rematch.
"Oi, there you are, bastard!" Naruto complained dramatically, striding up the corridor and nearly falling flat on his face. Sasuke caught him, and they looped their arms around each other's shoulders to stabilise each other.
"Gaara's *hic* waiting in the living room," Naruto informed him blearily, and Sasuke smirked.
" –Excellent," he declared, and then rolled his shoulders to try and sober up a little bit. From behind the door he and Naruto were currently leaning on, he could hear some rather unusual noises.
"…Fucking hell, Hidan! Go slower, yeah!"
"Ahh shit, quit your whining, fuck it's so…"
" –Do not tell me to quit whining!" the first voice snapped back, "You're not the one with a dick shoved up your ass!" Naruto and Sasuke both paled and exchanged glances before returning to listening at the door.
Hidan panted heavily as he hovered over Deidara –the blonde with his legs hooked over his friend's shoulders ungracefully. He leaned down and kissed him again, feeling Deidara moan as Hidan shifted inside him.
"Hidan?" the blonde queried in a low murmur as Hidan slowly began thrusting into him. Deidara gripped the sheets of the bed tightly and let his head loll back into the pillows as Hidan kissed up his neck towards his mouth.
"Yeah?" he murmured lustfully in the blonde's ear.
"…This is the fucking gayest thing we've ever done." Hidan paused for a moment and let out a low chuckle.
"Too late to say 'no homo'?"
"Shut the fuck up and fuck me!"
Sasuke and Naruto stared at each other.
"Itachi's gonna fucking love this," Sasuke deadpanned as Naruto burst out into poorly repressed sniggers and the pair of them began making their way down to the living room.
Gaara and Neji were already at the beer pong table, with Kiba and Shikamaru sitting nearby –well, Shikamaru was lounging, and Kiba was swaying precariously –watching the way that Gaara every so often pressed a hand against Neji's chest and looked up at him slyly.
"What's going on there?" he inquired with a raised eyebrow –seeing Sasuke jabbing Naruto in the chest, demanding a rematch.
"What's going on where?" Shikamaru inquired innocently. Kiba frowned at his friend as they watched Naruto and Gaara take one end of the table, with Sasuke and Neji at the other. They quickly filled up their cups –Naruto taunting Sasuke childishly.
"…You're going down," Neji vowed coldly of Gaara.
"…Maybe if you win," Gaara replied with a smirk. Neji just cocked his head, picked up a ping pong ball and swiftly sent it flying across the table to land directly in one of Gaara's cups. With a confident crack of his neck, he glanced coolly across at the redhead. Gaara just shrugged and licked his lips.
"And if I win?" he remarked back, just as cockily, sending a ping pong ball back in exactly the same fashion.
"I'll take my chances," Neji shot back.
"…Play well, and you might get to take more than that," Gaara retorted, with a definite touch of something not-so-innocent in his voice as the pair of them stepped back to let their partners throw as they drank.
"I'm going to win," Neji informed him haughtily.
"I might let you."
" –How the fuck are you guys still throwing like that?" Naruto complained, having apparently lost a great deal of his hand-eye coordination to alcohol. He was the only person who hadn't landed a ping pong ball in his first turn.
"All in the finger control," Neji assured him smugly, holding up a hand superiorly.
" –Bet ping pong's not all you can use that 'finger control' for…" Gaara remarked, a touch of a challenge in his voice.
"Do you do this on purpose?" Naruto complained in exasperation, giving Gaara a withering glare at the sexual banter. Gaara smirked at him.
"I'd do him on purpose." They all stared at Neji, their mouths falling open. He folded his arms and glanced across at Gaara coolly to see how he'd react to this; his expression definitely one saying 'you heard me'. Gaara didn't even bat an eye –barely breaking eye contact with the Hyuuga as he calmly picked up a ping pong ball and slowly tossed it terribly so that it bounced off a cup and rolled off the table.
"…Oops…looks like I missed…" he called out innocently. Naruto let out a cry of exasperation with the realisation that from hereon in, Gaara was going to be trying to lose. Sasuke chuckled with a look of triumph in his eyes.
"Prepare to lose," he declared.
"No fair! Doesn't count if Gaara's throwing the game!" Naruto exclaimed hotly, "I demand a new partner!"
"Not happening," Sasuke smirked.
"Fine –I'll just beat you by myself then, bastard!" Naruto snapped as a ball landed in his cup and he was forced to drink.
"Tch, I'd like to see you try."
"Shikamaru…" Kiba sighed heavily, "What the hell, dude –I thought the whole point of Naruto sending a valentine to Sasuke was to get them to be nice to each other –and now look at them!" Shikamaru glanced over –having heard the entire exchange.
"Oh…my bad," he shrugged with a smirk tickling the edges of his grin. Kiba's eyes widened in shock as he looked from the way Naruto and Sasuke were insulting each other, yet grinning –and Naruto had a hickey on one side –no wait, make that both sides of his neck.
"Oh my god," he muttered in shock, "This was never about them not getting on…this was…this was your plan from the start! You…" He fumbled on the words, "…You wanted them to get together?"
"Hah? I don't know what you're talking about," Shikamaru droned with a shrug, and Kiba's eyes whipped back across to the ping pong table to where Neji and Gaara were exchanging sexual innuendos that were progressively becoming less innuendo and more invitation.
" –And like, am I missing something with those two?" he demanded crossly, jabbing a finger at them, "Did you have something to do with that?"
"With what?" he replied innocently. Kiba looked at him suspiciously as Shikamaru casually stuck a finger in his ear. Man, the guy really didn't look like someone who had some kind of crazy master plan figured out. He relaxed a little. Maybe he was just being paranoid. Sasuke and Naruto's 'relationship' –he supposed that was the correct word for it from now on –had just been a random escalation that may have started with something that Shikamaru had suggested…
After all, Naruto and Sasuke had been getting along better –as Shikamaru's plan had originally been…so maybe that had led to everything blowing out of proportion?
And seriously, the guy had been sitting on the couches practically this entire night. What kind of mischief could he be acting out just from there? He sighed heavily and looked over at Shikamaru as the genius sipped at his beer in disinterest.
"You're the troublesome one sometimes," Kiba grunted with a roll of his eyes. Shikamaru shrugged with a yawn as his friend glanced back over at the ping pong table –glad to see the laugh in Sasuke's eyes and that grin plastered across Naruto's face. "Where is anyone, anyways?"
"Hah?" he blinked, and then quirked an eyebrow with the expression of a man who has been given an opportunity not to be missed, "Dunno about the others, but Sakura's out by the fountain." Kiba raised an eyebrow as Shikamaru shrugged casually and continued with his drink.
"What?" he frowned, "What the fuck's she doing out there?"
"…She seemed kinda bummed. Maybe you should go try cheer her up?"
And there we have it my dears. This fic is finally done! I hope you have enjoyed the story, and I'll be sure to get something new in the works, alongside the two Kuroko no Basuke ones that I'm also working on at the time of this update. *Smiles* [I told you the sexual content was slight -sorry about the lack of lemon] Forgive me, this time?