Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or settings, only the ideas and words.

Warnings: Abuse, violence, and rape. Smut and Mpreg will be in later chapters.

Description: Severus doesn't know why he feels off all the time, but he is eager to figure it out. The answer ends up not being a what, but a who. Starts the summer after Sirius is killed at the ministry, the dementor attack does not happen. POV 3rd person.

Harry was curled up in a ball in the corner of his bedroom, sobbing with hurt and rage. How could his uncle be doing this to him? Family, as he had always been told as a child, is sacred. Nothing is stronger than the bond of a family. Ron's family was just that. Sacred, not flawless but perfect. All he wanted was that. His family was not a family in anything but blood. He was enslaved by the only people whom he was related to, and felt no love from them. His uncle repeatedly used and beat him. Until this summer Harry could handle it. He was tough and nothing had defeated him yet, not even Voldemort.

But this, this took it too far. The thought of what his uncle had been doing this summer, was unbearable. He couldn't even bring himself to say the word. It was awful, terrifying, the worst feeling of betrayal he had ever felt. He didn't know why it was happening. This was…no, he didn't want to say it. Coming to terms with it would be giving in to what his uncle wanted him to feel like. A toy, who can be used at his disposal. He considered, for a minute, just killing his uncle, he knew the spell, but, then he would be kicked out of Hogwarts which was where his real family was and he couldn't bear to do that.

So here he was, stuck at Number 4 Privet Drive for the rest of the summer. He had not heard from anyone, but this was not surprising. He had only been away from Hogwarts for three days and that is how many times he had been abused since he had gotten back.

Nothing was worse than this feeling, the feeling that you can't escape, if you run it will get worse, if you tough it out it will get worse, if you seek help it will get worse. Nothing would help the situation, he considered writing Dumbledore but he wasn't sure that he would be all that open to harry since he had destroyed his office the last time he had seen him.

The worst part about the situation was that he was already having flashbacks to the recent days.

Uncle Vernon coming home from work and yelling up to Harry. "Boy get down here!"

When harry didn't respond Uncle Vernon got enraged more than he already was. He marched up the stairs to Harry's room and opened the door. "What have I told you about not listening to me boy? You're going to regret not coming when I called you!"

Harry sat on his bed rolling his eyes wondering when his Uncle was going to figure out that beating him wasn't doing any good at all. Uncle Vernon suddenly charged towards Harry and grabbed his neck and pushed him to the bed. The hand that was not on his neck went to Harry's crotch and Uncle Vernon quickly rubbed and squeezed Harry into an erection.

Harry punched himself to stop the memory. They were getting more vivid and harder to push away. The more he tried, the harder it got. The thought that his uncle…raped him, there he said it, was too much for him to handle. It was the worst thing that had ever happened to him, which for someone like Harry, was saying something.