A/N: Updated 04/09/2015:


I had the urge too edit this bad boy again. Too many mistakes but I'm certainly moving on after this!

A/N: Warning, this story may or may not be shit. And we all know perfectly well who owns this…. That's right, Hats off to Mister Tolkien for getting there first… and two Mister Peter Jackson that brought all this too the big screen.

All adventurers need a beginning, and this wacky adventure began with a sexy-ass pirate costume.

Sort of…


It was the night of Halloween that I had dressed up, yes, yes we all know where this is going, in a sexy-ass pirate costume and I didn't hold back at all this year; The big feather-y hat, black eye patch, ankle length lace up leather boots, stretchy leather pants, a white off-the-shoulder blouse, a black lace up corset - which did wonders for my bosoms and a knee length coat with gold trimming to match the corset. I'm not usually one to show this much skin but I assume that's just those old pesky high school insecurities that always linger in the back of your mind. How annoying and inconvenient.

And I won't forget to mention that I made a semi-decent attempt with my unruly dark brown hair, because on any other occasion it would be thrown up in a sloppy bun and I'm not ashamed to say I Youtubed a few eyeliner tutorials… while still managing to poke my eyes out, to finish off my au naturel make-up.

A few hours later and I wasn't ashamed to say my costume was a very modern, with a pinch of sex appeal and something I could be comfortable in for long periods of time. After all, I may convince myself to head to a medieval fair someday… way in the future, you would think that a life of a graphic designer would be more... ah, way more Interesting? Haaaaa. I'm so sorry to disappoint you folks but I'm apart of the loner fraction of my graphic design colleagues. I really don't do people.

I wasn't sure how well all this had worked out for me, seeing this was my first time actually trying to make an effort for something other than my graphic design work, but after a few of drinks I was feeling prettayyy invincible. I mean, I'm twenty one year old woman who's dressed up as a sexy-ass pirate costume and I'll be damned if I don't have a smashin' time tonight, you know? All I do is work, work, work, work and keep working on my shit. It all gets a bit repetitive and lonely after awhile!

It seems that with what little experience in the drinking department I've has turned me into a lightweight! Pwahhhh.

But the problem was that I had noooooo bloody idea what time it is, I've been drinking, dancing and just letting loose since I arrived very much stag at this house party my co-worker, Perky-kiss-ass Sandra, had invited me too. I didn't know anyone here, besides Sandra, and If I wasn't such a bloody weirdo hermit, preferring the life of drama free solitude with my books and such, I'd say we could've even been friends over the last five years that we've known each other!

Perhaps in another lifetime... in a galaxy far, far, far away…

Pffft! I'm too crunk for this emotional shit! Who cares about some chick that I work with that's probably sleeping with somebody? Stereotypical, I know but it does happen – mostly at the Christmas parties our company holds… ugh, the events that I've been forced to go to that I've always end up being the unwillingly victim of all things disturbing!

Let's get back to the actual important stuff, my Unexpected Adventure… quest… thingo.

By this time dancing by myself had gotten boring, and all the obscene groping I was seeing is just getting ridiculous, my head was spinning from too much alcohol and I seriously needed some air that wasn't contaminated with overly potent perfume, desperation and sex.

Ah, the joys of a being in a cramped room with sweaty, hormonal bodies...


So after walking through the house and out the front door, breathing in the fresh air, I knew it was time to make like a banana and spilt. Mhmm, I could really go for a banana spilt right now… another time, maybe when I'm not swaying all uncoordinated-like like Captain Jack Sparrow! What. A. Legend. Not too mention the dread locks. What a turn on.

But who could've known that by my reckless decision to walk home drunk, alone and weapon-less, besides my pepper spray, would have lead me to the most exciting yet absolutely terrifying time of my life...