Chapter One - The Plane Ride
"Where the hell is he!" Chris 'The DILF' Argent said looking at his friend Bobby 'The Coach' Finstock. Coach looked at Chris and said in a bored voice "Listen, Chris, Don't panic, Petey will be here! He is very rarely late" Chris literally face palmed and said "Oh Reeeeeally? What about the time he asked us to meet at the Museum for 'Checkers' And turned up three hours late in a limo… Not being driven… No, He stole the fucking Limo… Wait whats that" Coach turned to look at a crowd and saw their best friend Peter Hale, Or as he has requested to be called 'Petey' Walking towards them in a giant sombrero, shades, A bright yellow vest top and bright green swimming shorts. And no shoes The DILF Tilted his head and said "Yo, Petey wheres your shoes?" Petey kind of stumbled and laughed saying "Gentlemen where we are going we don't need shoes. We will are going on Spring Break!" The trio laughed and turned to go through the terminal heading towards the tunnel to board the Plane.
As Petey took his chair by the window he looked beside him to see a Vicar sit beside him, He looked behind him to see Coach and Chris sitting two rows behind him in fits of laughter. They both knew how much Petey hated religion to the point that he once replaced 'The Blood of Christ' With Vodka, Needless to say when the children were baptised with Vodka it did hit the news and he was jailed for forty eight hours. He didn't regret a thing.
"So… You're a Vicar are you?" Petey said, The Vicar turned to Petey and smiled "Yes child, I am a man of christ" Chris watched as he saw the Giant Sombrero tilt slightly "He's not going to hit the Vicar is he? I don't think we will make it to Cancun if he does…" Coach watched equally worried that Petey would start a fight before they even got to Spring Break.
A hour and half passed and no fights had happened. Coach and Chris were talking about what they were going to do. Petey was sulking staring out of the window as The Vicar was singing Gospel songs. "Can you please just… Stop?" Petey asked through gritted teeth. The Vicar smiled brightly and said "Listen child, There is always time to listen to the songs of Christ!" Petey turned to him with a forced manic smile and said "Well maybe I will just kill you?" The Vicar looked shocked and said, "Child, You need Jesus! Our father, Who art in heaven! Hallowed be thy name!…" Petey started banging his head against the window as The Vicar started to recite The Lords Prayer. Suddenly a idea popped into Peteys mind, He reached down to his bag and pulled out a bottle of vodka, The Vicar didn't notice as he was so busy singing joyfully, Unscrewing the cap Petey tipped vodka into The Vicars Tea.
Chris 'The DILF' Argent turned just in time to see Petey pour Vodka into The Vicars tea. He turned to Coach and said "Oi. Look what Hale is doing!" Coach peered in-between the chairs and watched, A smirk crept onto his face and he whispered "Well look at that, Petey is getting a Vicar drunk, I guess Spring Break has already started" Chris chuckled and said "It appears it has, Cupcake" Coach held up a hand and said, "Put it there, Bro!"
As The plane was approaching Cancun Petey had his arm around The Vicar and they were both singing Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer. As the plane came into land The Vicar screamed "Woooooah we're half way there! Woooooooah we're living on…" Just then a stewardess walked up to Petey and the Vicar and said "Excuse me, Sir I'm going to have to tell you to come with me, You're disturbing the other passengers" The Vicar laughed and turned to Petey and slurred out "Ha! Can you believe this hooker? Tellin meh a man of the Lord Jesus Christgg to go with her?!" Petey held up his hands in defence and said politely "I don't rightly know what to say, Ma'am. He has been shouting at me for the last few hour…" "Yeah! I shooouuted at you!" Petey Smiled stiffly and turned back to the window smiling as The Vicar was taken away by security "You can't take me! My lord Jesus Christ will save meeeee"
As the trio were reunited at the baggage reclaim they watched as The Vicar was taken to holding by security. Apparently he had been causing fights. Chris turned to Petey and said in a amused voice "Really, Petey you got him arrested" Petey smirked and said "Well… He did sing the lords prayer in my ears… I thought it was a suitable punishment." They heard some footsteps behind them but ignored them, It was only when they heard a familiar voice say "So… You boys are here for Spring Break… Well, Let me tell you, You boys will have the time of your lives…" Petey, Coach and Chris turned around to see Adrian Harris standing there his arms around two girls who looked like models, He reached up and pushed his Sunglasses up to rest on his head "Trust me…"