"Cartoon Royal Rumble"

Rated T

Summary: 80 men/women from your favorite cartoons will battle it out in a battle royal for a chance at $1,000,000! It's all out mayhem and anarchy in the first ever Cartoon Royal Rumble!

Disclaimer: I especially do not own anything associated with Cartoon Network, Disney, Fox's Animation Domination, Nickelodeon, Adult Swim, Hub Network or anything animated whatsoever. Or not to mention the fact that I don't own WWE or TNA.

P.S.: The list of characters I have will be random, so you won't know who'll show up in this match. Once again, I don't own.


Chapter 15: Rainbows and Pipebombs


10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*

Entrant #52: Rainbow Dash (My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic)

As the 52nd horn sounded in the match, a bluish pony with a rainbow colored mane flew past the curtain and immediately got into the ring at record time!

"Whoa," Jonesy replied, "What on earth is that?"

"Apparently, that's Rainbow Dash from 'My Little Pony'," J.R. informed him, "And it looks like she's not wasting any time as well!"

Not wasting any time to take a breather, Rainbow Dash started firing away at T-Bone with shots to the face.

"Whoa, look at him go to work!" Jonesy exclaimed.

"Um, Jonesy," J.R. said, clearing his throat, "That's actually a girl pony."

"Sorry, he looked more like a guy." Jonesy replied in shame.

As T-Bone got a little groggy, Rainbow felt Razor grab her in the back. Acting quickly, Rainbow got the lighter SWAT Kat with a headlock, while her lower hooves wrapped the bigger SWAT Kat by his neck. From there, Rainbow Dash nailed them both with a headlock/head scissors combination!

"Awesome move from Rainbow Dash!" J.R. cried out.

"How can someone like him pull it off?" Jonsey raised an eyebrow.

"It's a she, Jonesy." J.R. corrected him again.

"Sorry about that, my mistake!" Jonesy blushed.

Meanwhile, Heath Burns and Alejandro were busy fighting on the turnbuckle. Apparently, the momentum was on the flame-bringer side, slugging Alejandro's pretty face repeatedly with kicks.

As the Latin lover got himself groggy, Heath separated from him for a moment. Something was definitely on his mind.

"What does that firey freak have in mind?" Jonesy raised an eyebrow.

Heath ran up to him and tried to catch Alejandro with a Koronco Buster (which is Kofi Kingston's move), but Alejandro managed to lift Heath way up over the turnpost, which forced him out of the ring, and onto the floor.

Or was he?

"Heath's out-" J.R. said, "No, wait a minute!"

"How in the holy hell is Heath doing that?" Jonesy said with eyes bulging from his face.

He was shocked to find out that Heath's feet only landed on the steel steps and not on the floor, therefore making him safe from elimination once again. This got a huge pop from the Los Angeles crowd, who started chanting 'Heath' over and over again.

"I don't know why I say this," Jonesy muttered, "But I think Heath may be the luckiest freak I've ever seen!"

"He's definitely defying the laws of physics, there!" J.R. nodded.

After Heath recovered, he climbed up the steel steps and ascended over the top rope, where he saw Geoff, Justin and Hunter Huntsman go right at it. Pulling off some unbelievable offense, Heath somersaulted over the trio with a rolling senton!

"Rolling senton off the top rope!" J.R, exclaimed.

"Yeah, talk about three strikes and you're out!" Jonesy nodded as well.

"Anyway, as Heath's feeding off the crowd," J.R. added in, "We might as well see who number 53 is!"

While the SWAT Kats were busy trying to eliminate Heather from the competition and Rainbow Dash hitting Alejandro every chance she got, the Rumble clock displayed once again, giving way to another entrant.

10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*

Entrant #53: Corey Riffin (Grojband)

As the horn sounded, a teenager with an orange hoodie, blue hair, a white shirt (which was covered by a black tanktop) and orange pants sprinted his way down the aisle to a lukewarm reception.

"Hey, I'm definitely familiar with him!" Jonesy chuckled.

"It's Corey Riffin from the show 'Grojband'," J.R, informed him, "It was originally aired on Cartoon Network, but now new episodes are now shown on CN's website!"

"Can't wait to see what he does!" Jonesy exclaimed.

As Corey got inside the ring, he tried to look around the ring for someone to beat on.

Much to his luck, he saw Slappy Squirrel trying to recover from the TKO he suffered from the male model Justin. Seeing this, he capitalized by taking the squirrel over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating her!

"Slappy Squirrel is over and out!" J.R. exclaimed.

"This nut just got cracked!" Jonesy nodded.

43rd Eliminated: Slappy Squirrel; Eliminated by: Corey Riffin; Duration: 3:12

Realizing that she was eliminated, Slappy decided to blow them off.

"Ah, this Rumble sucks butt anyway!" Slappy exclaimed.

After her departure, Corey couldn't have time to show off because of the fact he was superkicked by Hunter Huntsman!

"OW! What a kick by Hunter Huntsman!" J.R. cringed.

"He might have kicked Corey's vocal cords off his jaw!" Jonesy replied.

While Corey was tending to his jaw, Rainbow Dash and Heather were busy trying to eliminate one another when the SWAT Kats decided to grab them by their legs and lift them up on their shoulders with a double Electric Chair lift!

"Uh-oh, this can't be good for Heather and the other guy." Jonesy retorted.

"That's Rainbow Dash," J.R. said, raising his voice, "And it's a girl pony!"

"Well, excuuuuuuuuse meeeee!" Jonesy spoke sarcastically.

As the SWAT Kats was still holding them up by their shoulders, Heath Burns decided to go on the top rope. From there, he flew from the sky and hit Heather and Rainbow Dash with a Double Doomsday Device!

"Heath nails a Double Doomsday Device!" J.R. cried out.

"This is growing so tense," Jonesy muttered, "I swear, my heart's pumping out of my chest!"

Right around the upper left turnbuckle, Alejandro was in trouble. He was caught by Geoff and Justin in a 2-on-1 elimination process. The entire crowd wanted Alejandro's elimination to happen so bad.

"Wait a minute, Alejandro could go out here!" J.R. exclaimed.

"C'mon, get him over," Jonesy replied, "Get him over!"

But before Alejandro could actually go over, he encountered a fire extinguisher sitting around the ringpost. Being a sneaky snake that he was, Alejandro managed to grab it and blasted the two men in the face.

"Luck saved him again for another time!" J.R. exclaimed.

"Yeah, you figured he'd do anything to stay alive like this," Jonesy scoffed, "Even if it means being lucky."

Alejandro soon got back into the ring, but before he could do more damage with the fire extinguisher, Corey caught him by surprise with a wheel kick in the face!

"I'm afraid Alejandro may not be lucky after that hit!" J.R. cringed a little.

"Corey's still got some fight left in him, I see!" Jonesy nodded.

While Alejandro tended to his handsome deceitful face, the Rumble clock went on again, which meant another superstar was entering this matchup soon enough.

"The timer's ticking, J.R.," Jonesy informed him, "Who's got number 54?"

10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... *BZZT!*

Entrant #54: Riley Freeman (The Boondocks)

With the 54th horn sounding so far, a small black kid with cornrows rushed through the curtain with a steel pipe in hand. Greeted by this LA crowd, the youngster wasted no time on making an impact.

"Whoa, that small dude's packing a pipe!" Jonesy chuckled.

"Riley Freeman from the Boondocks is number 54," J.R. informed him, "And it looks like he's not looking to play nice here!"

"And that's the way Riley likes it!" Jonesy nodded.

As Riley entered the ring, he started going to work, hitting both SWAT Kats with the lead pipe!

"Down goes T-Bone and Razor!" J.R, cried out.

Geoff tried to get his hands on Riley, but all the party boy got for his trouble was a lead pipe to the shin.

"OUCH!" J.R. cringed, "That didn't feel too pretty!"

"You said it!" Jonesy nodded.

Hunter Huntsman tried to take down the brash youngster, but all he got was a low blow to the lead pipe. Justin tried as well, but Riley's lead pipe smashed the male model in the face. Corey Riffin even tried his darnedest, but he got it in the fruit basket, followed by a Russian Leg Sweep.

"Riley Freeman's taking them all down one by one!" Jonesy told J.R.

"This kid's feeling unstoppable!" J.R. replied.

Riley tried his hand at hitting Heather, but concerning the fact that Riley was ape crap crazy, Heather managed to roll herself under the ring in safety. Rainbow Dash tried to surprise him by leaping off the top rope, but when Riley turned right around, he nailed him- uh, I mean her in the ribs!

"Oh, that's a rib-breaker if I've ever seen one!" Jonesy cringed.

"Imagine crashing on top of iron and steel itself," J.R. nodded, "Apparently, nothing good can come out of it!"

Riley was feeding off this capacity crowd inside the Staples Center. They were immediately going crazy for this little gangsta.

Unfortunately, as he was showing off, Alejandro came up behind Riley and surprised him with a low blow of his own. That forced the cheers to turn into loud boos.

"My gawd, a low blow from Alejandro!" J.R. cried out in foul.

"I don't know what hurts worse, a lead pipe or Alejandro's boot?" Jonesy cringed.

"I reckon both of them hurt!" The Oklahoman nodded.

Riley held his nuts in pain as the Latin liar immediately tossed him over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating him much to the fans disgust.

"And just like that, Riley's been eliminated..." J.R. said, feeling disappointed.

"And it's all thanks to Alejandro..." Jonesy groaned.

44th Eliminated: Riley Freeman; Eliminated by: Alejandro Burromuerto; Duration: 0:47

As Riley walked out of the ring pissed off and angry, Alejandro shoved it in the youngster's face by taunting him.

But suddenly, Heath Burns came out of nowhere and decked him out with a missile dropkick from the top rope to the back of his head!

"HA! Down went Alejandro!" Jonesy chuckled.

"That's what happens when you show off too much," J.R. replied, "Because someone might come in and knock you down like the government mule. And we just saw that happen to Alejandro!"

While Alejandro held onto the back of his head in pain, the countdown clock played on the titan-tron, awaiting the 55th entrant of the matchup!

"Number 55's coming up, J.R.!" Jonesy spoke with anticipation.

"Who will be next to join the rest?" J.R. said.


Number 55, huh? That sounds like fun! Anyway, here's the stats we have so far in this match:

Entrants still in the ring: Alejandro Burromuerto, Corey Riffin, Geoff, Heath Burns, Heather, Hunter Huntsman, Justin, "Razor" Jake Clawson, and "T-Bone" Chance Furlong

Eliminated so far: Buford Van Stomm, Beavis, Plucky Duck, Jonesy Garcia, Peter Griffin, Muscle Man, SpongeBob SquarePants,
Bubbles, Lightning, Timmy's Dad, Timmy Turner, George Liquor American, Homer Simpson, Edd, Chris, Sam, Dan, Spike, The Great And Powerful Trixie, Phineas Flynn, Uncle Ruckus, Stewie Griffin, Butt-Head, Sunset Shimmer, Abbey Bominable, Randy Marsh, Brock Samson,
Carl Brutananadilewski, Spectra Vondergeist, Buster Bunny, Milhouse Van Houten, Ice King, Twilight Sparkle, Jude Lizowski, Duncan, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, Frankie Stein, Jackson Jekyll/Holt Hyde, Jorgen Von Strangle, Glenn Quagmire, Flash Sentry, Monty Monogram, Slappy Squirrel and Riley Freeman

Can Heath continue his streak of near-eliminations? Is Geoff still gonna go to the distance? And where is my pants? I still haven't found them yet! Anyway, those questions shall be answered next chapter. Until then, "BUTTS!"