Author's note; 'seeya soon' she said. she lied. But, yay chapter 3's here! Enjoy the Dan and Phil talking-for-the-first-time action :) (and ermahgerd the drummer from Slipknot left :-o )
Jan 23rd - House time continued
Oh. Sugar. We're going down swinging. Down, down in an earlier round. Wait. What. I blink to return to real life (hiss) and weigh up my situation. Phil sits expectantly parallel to me, his eyes shining. He has a knowing look, he mouth turned upwards similar to a smile. I sit, my hands clenched together, my mouth shut tight, my brain hurting. I look up hesitantly and prepare myself for one hell of an ordeal.
"I know, don't worry. There's a, um, rumor. About you." Oh.
"I'm sorry, but I'm guessing the whole school know." Oh.
"Most are okay with it, I should know." Oh.
"About...what?" I literally am that clueless. Okay with what? The gay thing was just a rumor...not real. I don't even, I can't even-
I jump up out of my seat. Everybody turns, staring, judging, laughing. I open my mouth to speak but the words won't come, I can't breath, I need to get out of here. I scrape my chair back and get out of the way overly-warm room, I swear it was like a freakin' sauna in there. I close the door behind me, so polite of me. I kind of just stand outside, breathing heavily. In, out, in, out and repeat. I keep my eyes closed and lean against the wall. It's cool against my back and I soak it up because I am so warm right now. From embarrassment, from worry and from being an utter imbecile. Today was just so much..fuss. And the bell has only just rung for dinner. I have a whole fucking lesson left, and an hours dinner to sit alone, like the socially awkward procrastinator I am. Gree-a-t. But before I have actual time to despair, the door opens and floods of kids come out, laughing with their 'mates'. Then, lastly (but certainly not least) Phil comes out. Phil. Stupidly cute and nice and extremely caring Phil. All the things that are right about him are wrong for me. He's adolescente, I'm pubescent. That's why he won't even look twice at me. Right? Nope, not right.
Dear fucking diary, okay thing is okay.
Phil, nice, sweet, super attractive. He SPOKE to me. Like, properly. As if we were...'friends'. Me having my silly panicky jumping out of chair and running from classroom gave us a chance to bond. Sounds weird, I know, but we spent dinner together. He told me about his ex-boyfriend. Oli. Sad story, really. Oli was an angry person but, he didn't say it, I think Phil was in love with him. I think he still is. He has a manner about him. Love, lost, loss. The three things don't bond together well, so nobody really takes the piss out of him for his sexuality. Because he looks so sad, it'd be like fucking with lost puppy. So we ate dinner together, although he didn't really eat much. Few bites of a sandwich. I was just listening to his voice for the most part. We spoke about the midterm exams coming up, we discussed friends and some of the other students. Turns out a few are gay. Two lesbians who are actually together and ohmygods they look so cute cuddled up together, eating dinner. How could anybody argue a dispute about that? I don't understand. But yeah, Phil, we even walked home together. I realized how tall I am for my age. And, that's it, I think. Bye, I guess.
note to self; DAN FOR THE LOVE OF ZEUS WHEN THE DOG BARKS LET HIM OUT OR HE'LL PISS ON THE FLOOR AGAIN.
P.s Hi. I'm sorry about the *cough* delay. I was just *cough* procrastinating. Sorry, though seriously. I feel crappy when I don't update for you guys, I'll try to do it more often. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and thank-you to; ElzyPhangirl, NeverlandNat and potterathedisco (awesome name:D) for reviewing!
(Hopefully) Seeya soon, with love -NeonLuna