Title: It started With a Nightmare
Disclaimer: X-men and all its characters do NOT belong to me.
Summery: Scott's POV. A little story of how Scott and Ororo started their relationship and the years there after.
It Started With a Nightmare
It has been about two months since Jean left the X-men. She was really upset after she made the decision to kill that guy instead of letting me die during Project X ,and because of that I think she's had enough of playing hero.
However, she did say that she would be back one day, but who knows.
Actually, I think all of has had enough of the hero biz. I know for a fact Bobby has and is thinking about leaving to go home too.
But that's just the thing, unlike Jean and Bobby, some of us don't have a home to go back to. We don't have a family who will love us no matter what our mutation.
Some of us are orphans.
I look at Ororo who is sitting alone on the couch and forcing herself to stay awake. She hasn't slept well since we escaped the Project.
I feel responsible for that.
I promised her once, after she joined the X-men that I would protect her. And then, when it really mattered, I failed her. I don't think I will ever forgive myself for that. Out of all of us, I think her experience during the Project was the worst. Sabretooth made sure of that. That bastard's comment of "She's our girlfriend now" still rings heavily in my ears.
"Take a picture Scott, it lasts longer."
I startle at her words. I didn't even realize that I was still staring at her. "Sorry Ororo, I...I was just thinking about something. I wasn't staring at you."
She looks skeptical but drops it. "Are you watching this?" She points at the TV. "It's boring as hell."
"If you don't like my choice in movies....then why don't you get some sleep. It's late anyway." I offer as I study her closely for a reaction. And just as I knew she would, she winces at the thought of going to sleep.
She glares at me then returns her attention back to the screen. "I think I can determine my own bedtime, thank you very much!"
I ignore the heat in her tone and turn my attention back to the TV as well. I was serious though. It is late, about 12:43am. But I have to give it to her, the movie we're watching *is* boring. But I was down here for a reason, I was worried about her.
I don't know what they did to her. Actually, I don't want to know because I don't want to know how thoroughly I fucked up in protecting her. But since the Project her claustrophobia has gotten worse, she's jumpy as hell, loud noises scare the shit out of her, and she's terrified of being touched .
Out of the corner of my eye, I watch her rake her fingers over her face and fight back a yawn. She is really tired. Perhaps I will help her out a bit.
"Hmm?" Her voice sounds irritated.
I toss her the remote. "Change it if you want."
"Bout time!" She groans as she shifts into a laying position to reach the remote.
She flips through all 300 channels twice before she stops on AMC and on a movie called..
"Imitation of Life." She informs as she puffs one of the many pillows on the couch and rest her head on it. It is only then do I realize that she hasn't gotten up from her laying down position. She looks in my direction and spares me a smile. "We're lucky because it just started."
I turn off the TV after the movie ends. I'm not so sure how lucky I was. That movie was sad as hell. But on a happier note, in its length Ororo fell asleep. I was tempted to carry her to her room but I didn't want her to freak out if she caught me touching her. So I decided to stay in my chair and watch her sleep.
This wasn't the first time I noticed this, but Ororo Munroe was beautiful. Probably the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. Even more beautiful than Jean, though I will never admit that out loud. Well at least never to Jean.
But every guy in the mansion has noticed Ororo's beauty. I've even seen the professor awe struck a couple of times when he noticed her from afar. I bet, in another time and place, she probably would have been worshiped as a goddess or something, if not for her powers but for her beauty alone.
I glance at the digital clock on the VCR, she has only been a sleep for about 20 minutes but I can tell that already, her rest is not peaceful. Her brow is furrowed in distress and her mouth as pulled down into a frown.
I'm not sure if I should wake her, so until I decide, I'm just going to watch her.
"Please....stop" I hear her whimper.
That pitiful plea tears my heart in two and helps me make my decision. I get up to wake her up. When I am standing in front of her, I see a single tear trickle down her cheek. Gently, ever so gently I lean over her and timidly place one hand on her shoulder.
Immediately, she goes from a deep sleep to completely awake and screaming
"Please don't hurt me!"
At her outburst, I jerk my hand back and stammer out "I...I wasn't...I would...never" But she doesn't hear my fumbled words. Instead, she hides her face within her hands, balls herself into a fetal position, with her back towards me, and promises that she would do whatever I wanted, if I just stop hurting her.
"Ororo" I say in a tone that I hope is soothing.
She scrunches into a tighter ball and sobs.
Ok, now I don't know what to do. I wasn't told to do this, to find out how she was coping. I just ...Shit what do I do now? I wish the professor were here and not at that World Council Meeting.
Think Scott, it's not like you never comforted a crying woman before.
I force myself to remember how I comforted Jean after she killed that scientist. Then I came to a decision. I timidly place my hand on her back and try to give her a comforting pat.
Ororo's back arches away from my touch as if I burned her, and she scrambles away from me and quickly crawls to the far side of the couch. When she turns around to look at me, her eyes are pure white and purely terrified.
"Don't touch me!" She screams. "Don't ever touch me again!"
"Okay...I'm sorry....I won't touch you.." I promise in my most soothing voice as I raise my hands in front of my chest, where she could see them. She doesn't relax, but I can tell she appreciates the gesture so I keep my hands there. "Ororo... It's me Scott...I'm not going to hurt you."
She looks at me for about minute then tilts her head to the side. "Scott?"
"Yes..It's me Scott" I am tempted to close the distance between us, but I decide not to. I don't want to frighten her. I see her start to relax but her eye color hasn't changed. I can only imagine what the weather is like right now.
Then I get my answer.
I look up and at the doorway. Hank is running in here. I can see the fear in his eyes that something is wrong with Ro. And it seems that he is not the only one worried about her safety, because right behind him was Peter and Bobby.
Shit! I look back at Ororo and she looks terrified. I'm not sure if she can see us for who we are. But by the petrified way she is carrying herself, I think she thinks that we are the soldiers who hurt her.
"Scott, what's going on? Is Ororo alright?"
I, as well as everyone else, look at the woman in question. She is crouched down like a cat ready to pounce. I then look back at Hank.
"She's fine." My voice is stern, sharp and commanding. Without even thinking about it, I have decided to combat this situation as Cyclops. "I just startled her. But she is fine. You all can go back up stairs *now*."
Peter and Bobby take heed to my tone and leave, but Hank is reluctant. I know why but right now his good intentions are not needed nor are they welcomed. Instead of backing off, he comes closer.
"Stay away from me!" She shrills at Hank. The thunder outside is so loud it shakes the whole place. This in turn scares our white haired beauty, and makes her cover her ears and scream. Her distress only makes the storm outside worse and the noise is making her more terrified. It was a never ending cycle, and the only one who was getting hurt was Ororo.
"Hank!" I bite out. "Just leave. You're making this worse for her!" He starts to protest but I interrupt him. "Leave!" The tone I use is so sharp I barely recognize my own voice.
He looks at me like I am crazy. I can tell that he is shocked and angered that I would speak to him in such away, but he leaves. Reluctantly. Tomorrow I will have to apologize but right now, Ororo is my biggest concern.
I know it hurt Hank that he couldn't help her now, just as he couldn't help her then. We all feel that failure. But its worse for him. Because even though every guy has been attracted to Ororo at one time or another, it seems that only Hank had captured *her* attention. Well that was before the Project. Now... now things are different and that's not even taking into account that Hank is now blue and fury.
When I was completely sure that Hank had left, I decide to gain her attention. It was hard, I have to admit because she kept expecting the rest of the guys to burst into the room at any minute, plus her distress over the storm outside.
I can't imagine the fear she must be feeling right now.
After about ten or so more minutes, I had her focused on me and only me. I am pleased to say that she had visibly relaxed and could see *me* for who I was... right before she fainted.
I'm not going to lie, I was glad that she passed out. I guess it was a combination of pure exhaustion and the uncontrolled used of her powers but whatever the reason, I was glad she passed out. I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do next. I am not exactly a people person and comforting a distraught woman is not my forte. So like I said before, I was glad she passed out.
I wasn't going to move her, I really wasn't. My touching her was why she became upset in the first place. But the position she had passed out in was completely awkward and painful looking. So I risked it. I gently picked her up and laid her into a more comfortable position on the couch.
I didn't expect for her to wrap her arms around me and bury her face in the crook of my neck. I wasn't prepared for the warm tears I felt spilling onto my skin and down into the collar of my shirt. And I sure as hell wasn't prepared for her to whimper out my name and sob out that she needed me....to help her...to protect her... to stop them from hurting her....
My heart cried at her words even though my eyes couldn't. I pulled back a little just so I could see her face. I wanted to apologize for failing her. But much to my surprise, she was sleeping. And by the looks of it, she was trapped in another nightmare.
I wonder how many times she has called for me. And how many times I have failed to show up and keep my promise... to protect her.
"Oh God Ro...I am so sorry" I sob in a whisper.
Her eyes snap open and she stares at me with pure white eyes. My eyes are wide as well and I'm scared that she is going to have another panic attack.
I don't move.
I don't breath.
I just wait.
And hope she doesn't freak out.
"Scott?" Her voice is questioning, broken, and so small.
I feel like apart of me died just from hearing it.
"Yes Ororo...It's me Scott" I whisper. I can tell she doesn't really see me, even though my face is only a couple of inches from hers.
"Please...." Her voice breaks into a sob. "Please... don't let them hurt me anymore."
I bring one hand up to wipe away her stream of tears then brush back her hair that has been soaked by them. "I won't let them hurt you anymore...I promise" With everything I am, I promise.
At my declaration, she closes her eyes again and returns to her slumber. She doesn't let go of me, but I can tell that a sense of peace has come over her.
From my precarious position, of leaning over her, I gently drop to my knees so not to disturb her or the hold she has on me. I didn't try to break free from it because I figured she needed the comfort. She was the only one who had no support during the Project. They had separated her into her own cell, but it wasn't a luxury. It was her own personal hell.
I ended up staying with her that night. I kept vigil, on my knees and hovering over her in an uncomfortable position just so she could hold onto me as she slept.
Sure, I was sore and tired as hell in the morning, but it was worth it. Because for the first time in months, Ororo had a peaceful nights sleep.