Author: For CharmyXcream14. I did one with Sanji! Even though it's not angst (I don't really like doing this kind of stories), I attempted to make you smile. It's a diary-sort of One Shot.

I got the idea from reading 'A Day in the Life of Penguin' from Alice in Realityland. This is also a way to praise Alice. Go on. Take a look at it. It's awesome!


A day in the life of Sanji

May 5th

Grandline, New World

6:05 A.M
Got up from the most wonderful dream in which my beloved Nami-swan and my beautiful Robin-chan swore their eternal love to me. Went to the bathroom.

6:30 A.M
New Record! Only needed half an hour inside the bathroom! Went towards kitchen. Kicked shitty Marimo for falling asleep on his watch. Shitty marimo shouted he wasn't asleep. Yeah right. Kicked him again into the face.

6:45 A.M
Shitty marimo finally got back to sleep. Went to Sick Bay to retrieve band-aid for bleeding wound at forehead. Found shitty not-crew doctor sleeping there. Retreated tactically once got band-aid.
Note: Make sure to slip bread into shitty not-crew doctor's onigiri to piss him off.

6:50 A.M
Discovered Luffy trapped in kitchen trap. Swiftly kicked him out and yelled at him to wait there until breakfast is finished. Hope wonderful Nami-swan and amazing Robin-chwan won't be woken from their sweet dreams because of Luffy's hollering.

7:30 A.M
Finished cutting up meat for dinner. Put it in pot to cook later. Proceeded with putting it into lockable fridge.
Note: Remember to thank Franky for lining fridge with Kairoseki.

8:00 A.M
Finished breakfast. Got captain to wake other shit-heads. Went to tell the goddesses.
Note: Have to be at their bath room at the same time tomorrow. Nami-swan was just putting on clothes.

8:05 A.M
Luffy devoured his breakfast. Tried stealing my beloved Nami-swan's sandwiches. Swiftly proceeded to kick him into the face, earned the most wonderful smile from Nami-swan.
The world stopped spinning for a moment and I swear I heard angels singing! What a beautiful day to be alive!

8:34 A.M
Breakfast is over, washing up dishes. Asked Luffy and Usopp to catch fish for fish tank. Spotted shitty marimo nap at mast. Good, he won't get lost on the ship again. Put coffee in oven to reheat it.

8:37 A.M
Called Franky because oven froze coffee while freezer fried frozen goods. Had to make small snacks from fried goods and iced coffee.

8:45 A.M
Put snacks into fridge (fridge still working properly!) and went to serve iced coffee to Nakama.

9:00 A.M
Climbed up crow's nest for some training, spotted Marine Battle Ship coming our way. Warned the others.

9:15 A.M
Finished beating up shitty Navy soldiers. Raided enemy kitchen, while others raided ship. Left Marines with several dried goods so they won't starve. Found some damn good spices as well.

9:45 A.M
Brought snacks out to deck for second breakfast. Wonderful day, Robin-chwan complimented iced coffee. My heart is set aflame with the fire of looooooooove!

10:03 A.M
Approached island. Immediately aborted approach and continued to sail further away when realized that island smelled of manure.

10:30 A.M
Approached another island. Didn't smell of manure. Upon landing, discovered island inhabited only by old people. Still went out to town.

11:54 A.M
Finally finished with island full of old people. Shopping was a torture since every customer and vendor had to tell a fucking long story about something. Guess it was better than Chopper though. The old people pinched bruises into his cheeks.

12:00 A.M
Went to prepare lunch. Overheard Usopp talking about island full of old people. Said old people meant Nami and shitty not-crew doctor are cute couple.
I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS SHITHEAD TO TOUCH MY DEAR NAMI-SWAN! I WILL NOT ALLOW HER HONOUR TO BE DEFILED BY SCUM LIKE HIM!

12:13 A.M
Calmed down enough to finish preparing lunch.

12:30 A.M
Had lunch with crew. Placed shitty not-crew doctor next to Luffy. Luffy stole meat from everybody's plate. Again.
Kicked him into the head to prevent him from stealing beautiful Nami-swan's food. Generous Robin-chwan left steak to shitty captain though, said she was already satisfied.
I SHALL COMMIT IT TO MY MEMORY, MY BELOVED ROBIN-CHWAN!

12:46 A.M
Finished washing dishes and went out to deck. Protected dear Nami-swan's tangerine trees from Luffy, Usopp and Chopper. Got thanked for that by dear Nami-swan!

1:00 P.M
Caught Brook peeping on the two goddesses sunbathing. Went on to punch him for that, reminding him to find a better spot so we won't be seen.
Note: Find better spot for peep- I mean guarding.

1:40 P.M
Found out Robin-chwan was going to use bathroom. Went to guard the door when eye accidentally met keyhole. Looked through to make sure everything was okay.

2:35 P.M
Finally able to see again after washing eyes with soap because seeing Franky's naked hairy ass instead of beautiful Robin-chwan. My beloved tricked me.

3:00 P.M
Served tea with pastries. Made sure Luffy got burnt ones. Shitty not-crew doctor only drank tea. Must have become suspicious of pastries. Too bad, wanted to see his face upon discovering Umeboshi inside his.
Note: Must try to appear less suspicious.

3:25 P.M
Saw my beloved Nami-swan laugh with shitty not-crew-doctor. Swiftly kicked him into the head for it. Told him there was a wasp.
Note: Shithead is becoming more and more suspicious.

4:00 P.M
Went to make Sushi for dinner. Discovered fish was already in pieces. Attempted to cut it, found fish still alive and flailing.
Heard laughter coming from the pantry, but culprit already left.

4:14 P.M
Had to safe Luffy from drowning because shithead tried to catch fish with bare hands.

4:55 P.M
Arrived at pretty summer island. Heart almost exploded from joy when discovering that beloved Nami-swan and dear Robin-chwan wanted me in their group!
I SHALL PROTECT YOU AGAINST ALL MONSTERS OF THIS ISLAND!

5:35 P.M
Discovered strange creatures on island. No threat to my beloved.

5:40 P.M
Luffy and shitty marimo got lost. Had to split up to find them. Discovered shitty not-crew doctor dissecting small animals while grinning like a madman. Slowly backed away.
Note: Keep beloved goddesses away from sociopath.
Note: Find out where the difference between sociopath and psychopath is.

6:36 P.M
Finally located missing shitheads with Chopper's help. Dragged them back on their ankles to Sunny. Telling them to stay the Hell there.
Started preparing dinner.

7:00 P.M
Ate dinner with crew.

7:43 P.M
Tidied up kitchen because of battle over last piece of onigiri. Hope Nami-swan and Robin-chwan aren't too upset with kicking the shitheads through the door.
Note: Tell Franky to install a revolving door in kitchen. It's a pain to repair it over and over again.

8:00 P.M
Luffy, Usopp and Chopper started dancing to Brook's music. Everybody seemed to be in high spirits. Handed out snacks and drinks.

9:00 P.M
Natural Firework occurred over Island. Beautiful view.

10:00 P.M
Shitheads went to bed. Did first night watch.

11:30 P.M
Franky went up to take over night watch. Went to bed.

2:07 A.M
Woke up to living horse head in my bunk. Yelled at shitheads that I DO NOT SCREAM LIKE A GIRL! Kicked shitty marimo out to help me find culprit.
Note: Find and hurt shitty not-crew doctor.

3:00 A.M
Attempted murder failed because could not find idiot. Went back to bed.
Note: Make every food bread-based tomorrow.