Harry Potter sat on the back of his Nightmare stallion. The horse was midnight black, and its mane and tail were a purple blue flame. He watched as his godfather's herd moved slowly through the gate into the other grazing area. He looked out over the herd and smiled in satisfaction. He looked down at his dog, a two headed German Police. The herd was mostly buffalo, and other non-magical cattle, with two notable exceptions. A Glangevlin cow and a Cretan bull. The cow was able to produce an endless supply of pure rich milk. And the bull was able to breed true any type of cow, buffalo, or magical bovine. What ever the mother was so to would be the baby. This allowed for only one bull in the herd. It also allowed for a multi-breed herd.

"Hey Harry its about time for you to eat something." Called Steve, one of the ranch hands.

Harry turned to the man and nodded. He turned his stallion, affectionately called Shadow, towards the ranch house. He gave a sharp whistle and took off at top speed. With his dog, Split, baying at heels. They arrived at the house in ten minutes. Harry dismounted shadow and tied him to the post and walked inside. He walked to the bathroom and took off his work shirt. He looked at himself in the mirror. His wavy shoulder length black hair pulled back into a low ponytail. His piercing emerald green eyes and the lightning bolt shaped scar that stood out on his forehead. The gleam of a golden hoop that hung from his left ear lobe. His body was well muscled chest and arms from ranch work.

He turned on the sink and begin washing the dirt off. He then snapped the dirt off his shirt, and put it back on. He left the bathroom, and walked towards the dining room. He smirked at the sight of split laying on the rug it the hallway. He sat down at the dinner table and was soon joined by Steve and the other ranch hands, Ricardo, Enrique, and Vincent. He smiled as they bantered back and forth. Harry was outright laughing by the time the cook showed up.

The cook was a large black man named Gregory. He set down a large plate of ham and biscuits. Harry smirked at the food. There was a large bowl of red eye gravy, and some sausages well, as bacon and eggs. Harry quickly made a plate and began eating, only for his pocket to heat up. He pulled out what looked like a make up applicator made of blackened steel and flipped it open. In the mirror was the image of his godfather Sirius Black.

"Sirius? What's wrong? It hasn't even been three days since I was in new york with ya." Harry asked perplexed as Sirius had allowed him a week at the ranch, while Sirius took care of business in new york.

"Well kiddo I've got a visitor her that wants to talk to you." Sirius said with a slight grimace.

"About what? And why didn't you just send them to the ranch?" Harry asked with a frown.

"Truthfully? Because I don't want them alone with you. They think your in your room, and I went to get you." Sirius said with a scowl.

Harry raised his eyebrow. Who in the world? "Fine I'll be right there." he said clicking the mirror-phone closed. He looked up to see the staff looking at him expectantly.

"Well it looks like I'll be seein' y'all after while." He said getting up and walking from the dining room. He gave a sharp whistle and walked down the hall to a door that read, New York Flat. On the right was a door that read, Colorado Hunting Cabin. And on the left proclaimed, Los Angles Beachfront. He walked through followed by Split. They were met by Sirius who had a somber look.

"Well lets get this over with." Sirius said sourly.

Harry frowned and nodded dubiously running his finger along the seam of his jeans. His rattlesnake skin cowboy boots clicked down the stained cherry hardwood floors of the city based apartment. Neither actually cared as the floors were made scuff resistant when harry got his first pair of cowboy boots. Spilt followed slowly wagging his tail and licking both Sirius' and Harry's hands. Both idly scratched one of the heads behind the ear. They walked into the living room to find the oddest looking man harry had ever seen. He was wearing full length wizard robes in the most eye catching colors possible. Bright pink and florescent orange. Harry physically winced at the over the top colors. Then there was the long silver hair and beard that were tucked into the back and front of his belt respectively. Finally he was wearing lime green nikes. Add in the half moon spectacles and the twinkling blue eyes, and harry was concerned about his virginity.

"Yeah you rang?" He asked looking ready to leave.

"Ah mister potter. I am Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. We sent you your orientation letter, but alas we never received your return post."

"Yeah that's 'cause I ain't plannin' on attendin'" Harry said nonchalantly, with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"So you don't care about your inheritance then?" Dumbledore asked, with his eyes twinkling like Christmas lights.

"What do you mean exactly?" Harry asked dangerously. Split noticed his master getting angry and began to growl at Dumbledore. Sirius simply stood back and watched this train wreck happen. He and harry already knew that this was the case as he had been present at the vote, but he had made it look like he left early so Dumbledore didn't know that.

Dumbledore obviously didn't feel he was in any danger, because he pressed on. "Well unfortunately the piece of legislature went through that if an heir doesn't attend Hogwarts they cannot inherit in the British isles." Dumbledore said with a very good grandfatherly remorseful voice.

It took all of Harry's and Sirius' self-control not to sneer at the old man. "Well if I must you going to be making a few concessions for me, or I'll just give up my inheritance." Harry said giving the old man a double bluff, not that it mattered Sirius had already liquified the Potter and Black assets in Briton, and moved it to America. Not that old twinkles needed to know that. "The first thing is the ban on pets for first years will be lifted as Split here is my familiar, and I won't go with him. The second is that I will were what I want as I don't want to be there in the first place, And the last is that the only punishment I'm willing to accept is expulsion and as such I refuse to participate in detention from anyone for anything."

The old man's eye twinkle had dimmed several thousand watts, but he still seemed to think he had some semblance of control. Dumbledore seem to think on this for a while, before saying. "Mister potter I'm sorry to say that I can't let you out of disciplinary measures but I think the uniform and the pet restriction can be lowered."

Harry hid his smirk by lowering his head in a thoughtful posture. He didn't really expect to get this much concession, it only went to show how desperate the old coot was to have Harry Potter at his school. Harry schooled his expression and looked at the old man.

"I suppose that will work. I guess that means me and Sirius have some shopping to do then." Harry said adopting a thoughtful expression "Well adios grandpa."

With that harry turned and walked down the hall to his 'room'. He exited to the ranch and walked out the door followed by Split. He quickly mounted Shadow and tore off down the trail towards the herd. He pulled a tooth pick out of his pocket, stuffed it into his mouth, and began chewing it irritably. While that had gone better than he and Sirius had hoped it had caught him flat-footed at how quickly the old man had arrived. Obviously he really wanted Harry to go to Hogwarts. But why?

"Ah hell it don't matter I'll just deal with it when I get there." He grumbled. He saw the herd and the ranch hands head and slowed from a run to a slow trot. When he pulled up beside Steve, the cowboy turned and asked.

"So was that Albus to-many-names Dumbledore?"

"Yeah and it looks like I'll be attendin' Hogwarts this year after all." Harry said with a sour expression.

"I thought that was the plan all along?" Steve asked in confusion.

"It was but only because I might actually learn something about Voldemort." Harry said with a scowl, grinding the toothpick between his teeth. "But I reckon it won't do any good to be all pissed off about it, I gotta go there so I might as well do it on my terms."

Steve nodded his head in accent and tipped his hat to the boy. "Well youngin' I wish ye luck."

"Good I'm going to need it." Harry said gruffly, he'd been having a bad feeling about all this. He shook his head with a frown. He just knew this was going to suck all kinds of ass.


Harry walked down the side of the street in Diagon Alley. He was dressed in a new pair of Levis black jeans, his snakeskin boots, a black button down long sleeve shirt, and a black cowboy hat. He was frowning at the dark ages replica shops. Not that he could really say much, a lot of magic shops out west, they all looked to be stuck in the wild west era. Harry had already gotten all of what he was going to need for school and all that was left, was to get a wand. And truthfully he already had one but Sirius made a point of mentioning Olivander and Dumbledore probably had him one squirreled away. So here Harry was walking towards Olivander's wand shop. He walked into the rickety building and called out. " Hello to the shop. I'm here fer a wand."

"Mister Potter. I wondered when I would see you in here." Came a dusty voice behind him. Harry looked over his shoulder with a frown of annoyance. "Someone tipped you off didn't they?"

"Yep." Harry said uncaring.

"Oh poo." Olivander said with a frown. "Its no fun when they get advanced warning."

"Well I'm here for a wand, so proceed sir." Harry said, mimicking Val Kilmer's performance as doc holiday in tombstone, motioning to the racks of wands.

Olivander moved forward sullenly. "Which is your wand arm?"

"Both I suppose." Harry said tipping his cowboy hat back. He idly ran his finger over his disillusioned wand holster at his right hip. It was perfectly positioned to be quick drawn to cast a spell. And given his wordless affinity he could draw and cast quickly and silently. Of course he only knew about three spells wordlessly but he was working to fix that. The wand inside the invisible dragon-hide holster was made of black walnut with a core of an augury feather. He felt it was the most precious thing he owned. But he needed to be seen with another wand so nobody would expect the real one.

Olivander went through a good half the shop, before he pulled out one in the back and said. "I wonder..."

"Here we go." Harry muttered to himself. And he was right. He was surprised when the wand actually bonded with him, but hey there were ways to force a bond.

"Curious, very curious." Olivander said cryptically.

"Hm, you say somethin' Old guy?" Harry asked uncaring.

"I was just saying." Olivander said looking directly at Harry's face. Or more specifically his scar. "It is curious that you bonded with this wand when its brother. Its only brother gave you that scar."

Harry gave a long suffering sigh and said. "Yep I figured it was somethin' like that. Well what do I owe ya old guy?"

"Ten galleons." Olivander said with a frown. Harry passed off the money and grabbed a rock out of his pocket.

"Home on the range." He said activating the portkey and disappearing from the shop.