Pairing: Tony Stark/Loki
Warnings: Explicit sexual content, graphic depictions of violence, D/s themes, dark!Tony, dark!Loki, alternate universe, flashbacks
Title/Lyrics: Casual Affair by Panic! at the Disco
Notes: Based on the very, very awesome FrostIron video by lighthopelove. I tried multiple times to include the link written here in various different ways but this website thwarted me every time. So just go to youtube and look the author up, the fanvid has the same title as this fic.
The Stark Industries weapons that appear in this story are fictional because I couldn't find information on any real ones, but they're based on real weapons. Also, I completely fuck with the timeline and exact events in Thor, The Avengers, and the Iron Man movies, but it's an AU, so I'm allowed to.
Disclaimer: The world and characters of The Avengers belong to Marvel. The original idea belongs to lighthopelove. I own nothing and make no money from this story.
"Looks innocent enough, doesn't it?
But sometimes there are dangers involved that never meet the eye
No matter where you meet a stranger, be careful if they are too friendly"
Tony felt something hit him, there was a sharp pain in his shoulder and head, and he vaguely noted someone lowering him to the floor. There was a sharp smile, full of teeth, and eyes as bright as stars, as green as fresh grass.
'Shh...' a familiar voice whispered.
After that, everything went black.
He opened his eyes groggily. It was dark, wherever he was, with only a few soft glows coming from various places. Tony grunted and tried to move, only to groan when his arms and back throbbed in pain. He shook his head and tried again before realising that he was standing and tied to some type of metal thing... a bed?
'Not the way I wanna get into someone's bed,' Tony muttered to himself, tugging on his restraints.
'Oh, good,' a soft voice purred from somewhere in front of him, 'you're awake.'
Tony knew that voice, and he was proven correct when the owner walked forward, now illuminated by the table lamp to Tony's left.
'Loki,' Tony stared at him. 'Couldn't make an appointment?'
Loki flashed him a shark-like grin, one that Tony had seen many times before. He'd never been on the receiving end of it. 'Anthony,' the other man replied.
'What am I doing here?' Tony asked. His head ached, but he didn't remember being hit more than once; he wondered if Loki had taken a few more swings before tying Tony up... or afterwards.
'What are you doing here?' Loki echoed and looked around. He spread his arms, gesturing to the building they were in. 'Why shouldn't you be here, Anthony?' Loki asked.
'Kidnapping,' Tony tried his best to shrug, 'it tends to be frowned upon.'
'It's the only way I could get you to see reason,' Loki told him.
'There's no reason in what you're asking of me!' Tony spat, already feeling his blood heat up. Nobody- absolutely nobody- could set him on edge this easily and this quickly... nobody but Loki.
Loki's smile disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, and his arms fell to his sides. He didn't look well, Tony noted. His hair was a bit longer than it had been... before. There were dark bags under his eyes, his skin was paler than usual, and his green eyes no longer sparked with mischief, just... anger.
'You're not a hero, Anthony,' Loki said, his voice low. 'You're a weapons manufacturer.'
'Not anymore!' Tony growled.
'You create chaos,' Loki continued, like the genius hadn't spoken. 'You revel in that chaos. It's why we got along so well.'
Tony swallowed thickly as he remembered just how well he and Loki had gotten along. But that was in the past. Tony wasn't that person anymore. He was Iron Man, he was the man who had single-handedly brought about world peace, he was...
'I'm not the man I was,' he told Loki.
'You can't keep doing this, Anthony,' Loki said, moving closer. He was wearing a weird green-black-and-gold getup Tony hadn't seen before. He looked comfortable in it, though; more comfortable than when he was in the suits and jeans/shirts that he'd worn around Tony's mansion and in public. 'You can't deny who you are,' Loki said. His feet were carrying him closer and closer, and Tony just watched. 'Believe me, I know how painful it is to deny who you are.'
'I'm not denying anything,' Tony said.
Loki laughed, a choked, pained sound that made Tony want to hold him, touch him, kiss him. Tony closed his eyes against those thoughts; what Loki was asking of him just wasn't possible, not anymore. Not after Afghanistan.
'I can't,' Tony breathed, his voice cracked.
'You're living a lie,' Loki hissed. 'You spent years, Anthony, years, creating weapons and enjoying it. You didn't care before how many you killed, and you didn't care what people said.'
Tony shook his head. 'I didn't know.'
'Yes you did,' Loki snarled. He was closer, but Tony kept his eyes closed, not wanting to look. His body thrummed with pain, and his wrists were aching worst of all. But not for long, not now that he was awake. 'You knew and you didn't care!' Loki snapped. 'You didn't care until you got hurt!'
'Exactly!' Tony shouted. Loki paused, his body poised with tension, as Tony finally opened his eyes. 'I didn't think about it before, Loki, but I know better now. I know what it's like to be hurt by the shit that should be keeping you safe!'
'Weapons aren't made to keep people safe, Anthony,' Loki snarled. 'They're made to hurt people before they can hurt you. They're made to destroy.'
Tony shook his head, glaring at Loki defiantly. 'I don't make them anymore. And nothing you do will change my mind.'
Loki's eyes narrowed.
'My answer will always be the same,' Tony said. 'I'll always choose Iron Man over you.'
Loki was before him in an instant, his arm snapping out, fingers wrapping easily around Tony's throat. Tony was slammed back against the springs of the bed-frame and his wince turned into a choke as Loki squeezed.
'If you say those words again,' Loki hissed, 'I will end you.'
Tony glared at him, not wavering in the slightest, and coughed when Loki's fingers tightened.
'I want to be respected,' Tony growled, 'not feared.'
Loki's fingers slackened, only slightly, and his fingertips caressed Tony's skin. 'Think about what we used to do together, Anthony,' he whispered. 'Think about what we were, what we could be again.'
'What were we, Lokes?' Tony demanded. ''Cause all I remember is a lot of sex and a hell of a lot of fighting.'
Loki's eyes flashed, the green momentarily brighter, before going dull. Tony traced the bruises under Loki's eyes with his own, and saw the paleness of his skin, the lines etched around his eyes, into his forehead.
'We were nothing,' Tony hissed.
Loki jerked back as though stung, and Tony shook his head as Loki backed up, putting distance between them. The taller man stared down at his hand, flexed his fingers, and then slowly looked up at Tony. 'Is that all we were to you?' he questioned, voice hollow.
The window to Tony's left exploded inwards, and Loki whirled to face it. An Iron Man gauntlet wrapped itself easily around Tony's wrist, breaking through whatever Loki had used to bound Tony to the bed-frame. Loki turned, his eyes widening in surprise, but before he could do anything Tony had fired.
The blast threw Loki several feet back and through the concrete wall. Debris rained down as Tony managed to break his other wrist free. He stumbled forward, his body aching, and reached for the gun that was still tucked into the waistband of his jeans. Apparently Loki wasn't worried about guns. Ever since Tony had spotted Loki the week before, he'd walked around armed. He knew that Loki was dangerous.
He hadn't expected to be kidnapped, but he should have known; stealth was Loki's operation.
Tony wriggled his fingers in the gauntlet and flicked the safety of the handgun off as he walked through the hole in the wall. He found Loki slumped over the steps leading up to what looked like a laboratory. Cuts and bruises covered Loki's face and neck, but he didn't look too injured.
Again, Tony was hit with the knowledge that he didn't quite know what Loki was capable of; he didn't even know what Loki was. And the bastard thought that he had the right to demand that Tony tell him everything?
He pointed his repulsor and gun at Loki, who sighed heavily and looked up at him.
Loki held his hand out, and Tony glanced at it before looking back up. 'Will you join me?' Loki asked one last time.
Tony hesitated before shaking his head. 'No.'
'That will always be your answer, won't it?' Loki asked, his voice defeated, his entire body just... giving up. His eyes, normally so bright and full, were dull and dead.
'Always,' Tony confirmed, even though it broke his heart. He just... couldn't. He couldn't give Loki another answer.
Loki nodded, though he didn't look too surprised. This attack- kidnapping Tony- it had been Loki's last resort. His last chance to get Tony back on his side.
'Very well,' Loki said. He struggled to his feet, dust and concrete falling from his leather clothing. His eyes wandered over Tony's body slowly, and he heaved another sigh. 'Goodbye, Anthony,' he whispered.
And then, he was gone.
Tony eventually made his way out of the house- it was a large, abandoned house Loki had taken him to. He still had his StarkPhone in his pocket and switched it on. There were dozens of missed calls, most from Pepper, some from JARVIS. Tony took the Iron Man gauntlet off as he made his way up the road. He used the GPS on his cell to find out just where the fuck he was, and then called a cab.
New fucking York. Oh, of all of the places Loki could have brought him, it had to be here; the place where they'd first met.
Tony let his head fall back and winced as the movement tugged at whatever the fuck he'd hurt on his face. He gently prodded his skin and found a scab on his cheek, and dried blood beneath both his nose and left eye. He sighed and wondered just what the hell Loki had done to him when he'd passed out. The last thing he remembered was mixing a drink at the bar in his Malibu home. And then, bam, awake and tied to a frickin' bed-frame, with Loki standing before him.
Tony's mind went over what had happened; what Loki had said to him, what Tony had said, and...
He sighed again and rubbed his eyes, despite the pain. Loki, he... he was Loki. He was stubborn, rude, a bastard most of the time, and the best sex Tony had ever had. He was also funny, witty, charming, and crazy smart. There was a lot he didn't know- mostly pop-culture references- but whenever Tony had spouted something, Loki had obviously gone and researched it thoroughly, because the next time Tony mentioned it Loki would know absolutely everything.
And... Loki clearly wasn't human. At least, not completely. Tony had blasted him through a fucking wall, and Loki had sat up with a few scratches. Who the fuck could do that?
Let it go, Tony told himself. You made your choice, and it wasn't Loki.
He'd made the choice before, back when he'd started building his very first Iron Man suit, after Afghanistan. Tony snorted; that was another thing that had hinted at Loki not being human. Tony had gone to sleep one night in that dank, dirt-filled cave, and the next day he'd woken up at home, in Malibu, with Loki leaning over him. Loki refused to tell him how Tony had got home, and Tony had had no answers for Rhodey- and the media- when they'd asked.
The Ten Rings, however, had been completely wiped off of the fucking map. And Loki had looked smug for weeks, beneath the concern.
The cab pulled up outside the hotel, and Tony waited patiently for Pepper to arrive. He was lucky that Pepper was in New York and not Malibu; he had no idea what he'd do for money, seeing as how he hadn't had his wallet on him when Loki had decided to abduct him.
'Tony, what happened?' Pepper demanded as she led Tony into the hotel. 'Do you need me to call the police? Should I call a doctor? You're bleeding, I should call a doctor.'
'No, Pep, I'm fine,' Tony waved her off. She handed over one of his credit cards that she had for some reason- Tony was too tired to give it much thought- and Tony checked himself in for the night. 'It was...' Tony hesitated, unsure what to say. My ex-lover kidnapped me and asked me to stay with him, to do whatever the fuck I wanted with Iron Man instead of play super hero. I said no, and he left me there. Tony shook his head. 'I'm fine, Pepper,' he repeated. Pepper continued to stare at him, her eyes large and filled with concern. 'I promise,' he added.
Apart from a few aches and bruises, he was fine. Loki could have done a lot more, but despite his anger and clear disappointment in Tony's decision, he still... what? Tony and Loki had been nothing but lovers; they'd fucked every time Tony was in New York. That was it. They weren't partners, or boyfriends, or whatever the hell people were calling it these days. They were... nothing. A casual affair.
Pepper tried to get more information out of him, but Tony refused to talk. Eventually she agreed to go back to the meeting she'd run off from when Tony had called her, leaving Tony to his own devices.
The first thing he did was head to the closest liquor store and get a very, very large bottle of bourbon. He then locked himself in the hotel room and drank straight from the bottle after flopping onto the sofa.
Tony stared at the amber liquid as he tilted the bottle back and forth. Tony and Loki had... "been together", for lack of better words, for almost a year. Every time Tony flew to New York for business, Loki would just be there. Tony had tried- fuck, had he tried- to pry information out of Loki. He'd been curious about where Loki grew up, where he lived now, exactly what he did for a living, everything. All Loki had said was that he had a brother and was skilled in a lot of trades.
Taking another large swig of bourbon, Tony leaned back on the couch, closing his eyes.
A casual affair...
They'd been fuck-buddies, a part-time shag, a way to blow off steam. That was it.
'That will always be your answer, won't it?' he asked, his voice defeated, his entire body just... giving up. His eyes, normally so bright and full, were dull and dead.
'Always,' Tony confirmed.
Tony had never seen that look in Loki's eyes before, not even after the last argument; the one that had caused Loki to walk out for good and completely disappear. Tony had preformed a half-assed search, but clearly Loki hadn't wanted to be found. Just, poof, gone.
Loki had disappeared right in front of him. Tony, with all his knowledge in science and technology, had absolutely no idea what to make of that.
And then Loki just ceased to exist.
Tony's thoughts were jumping, scrambled like his relationship with Loki, and Tony slapped the bottle against his head, revelling in the dull pain that it made reverberate through his skull. Anything was better than going over his relationship with Loki again and again in his head. He'd been doing it since Loki had walked out four months earlier.
Loki had stuck around longer, before that. He'd just happened to have business in Malibu, and Tony hadn't bothered calling him out on his bullshit. So the Brit had stayed with him him at the Malibu mansion, and stood aside as Tony made a new Iron Man suit, as Tony suffered through nightmares and panic attacks and all the other fucking shit that had followed him home from Afghanistan.
He only disappeared once, just after Tony had inexplicably found himself home rather than in a cave. Tony had woken up to an empty bed and JARVIS informing him that, "Mr Odinson left the house an hour earlier and has not returned."
When he did return, he was exhausted, had a mad glint in his eyes, and kept a firm hold of Tony long, long after they'd had sex.
Tony still didn't know what to make of that.
Or the fact that the Ten Rings, the men who had kidnapped and tortured him, had apparently been wiped off the face of the earth. Rhodey had told him, and Tony had stared hard into Loki's eyes after mentioning it. Loki's lips had twitched upward, but he hadn't said anything detailed on the subject.
Tony gulped down two or three mouthfuls of bourbon to clear his head. No, that was it, he was done. No more thinking about Loki. Not Loki's smile or laugh or wit or apparent ability to travel halfway around the fucking world in a heart-beat. Tony was done. He'd made his choice.
The billionaire's heart skipped a beat at the thought of never seeing Loki again. Never waking up to that soft smile. Never slapping Loki's hands away when the other man tried to steal his food. Never playing foot-rest for his High Prince Loki when the green-eyed man decided that Tony was his servant for the day.
None of that. Ever again.
'We were nothing,' Tony hissed.
A casual affair.
Tony felt the tears before they fell down his cheeks, and choked back a sob as he forced more alcohol down his throat. He wouldn't do this. Not now, not ever. He wouldn't cry over any fucking guy, especially not the one who had fucking kidnapped him.
'Nothing,' Tony whispered to himself. 'We were nothing,' he stated firmly.
If only he could get his heart to believe it.
Loki appeared in his room on Asgard and stumbled. Tony's repulsor blast, coupled with teleporting so many times in one day, had drained Loki significantly. But Loki welcomed the aches and lethargy. He welcomed anything that would rip him away from his own thoughts.
There was nothing more he could do. Anthony had made his decision, and Loki had to accept it. He didn't want to. He wanted to go back down there and rip the Iron Man suit apart piece by piece. He wanted to blast it into tiny dust particles and throw them into the Asgardian sea. He wanted...
He wanted Anthony.
Loki had stopped denying that he cared for Tony, at least to himself, after Afghanistan. Before that, Loki had been able to pretend. Pretend that Anthony's laugh didn't warm his heart. Pretend that he didn't sleep better with the mortal by his side.
It was what Loki's life had been filled with since he was a child; he was good at pretending that he was fine. That Thor's taunts didn't hurt him, that Odin's clear favouritism- Hel, the whole of Asgard's clear favouritism- didn't hurt. He brushed them all off with sneers and cruel words. He played tricks and acted cold and never let anyone get close. Loki had perfected his masks over a millennium. He knew how to react in any given situation. He knew how to get what he wanted and keep his true feelings buried deep, deep down.
And then Anthony had gotten himself hurt, kidnapped, and Loki had lost it. Everything had come tumbling down.
Loki closed his eyes and pressed his hands against the dresser directly before him. He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself, and it almost worked.
Loki lashed out, sweeping everything aside, and vases and books crashed against the floor, some with a thud, others with a loud crash. It wasn't enough, and Loki grabbed the dresser itself, throwing it across his chambers. The wood shattered when it hit the wall, and Loki screamed. He tore at his hair and kicked and shouted and destroyed everything in sight. He didn't stop until he found himself slumped on the floor amongst the debris.
There were guards knocking on his door, and Loki snarled at them to leave. They did so quickly, not wanting to inquire the King's wrath.
Loki snorted to himself and rubbed his eyes. King. He was King of Asgard, something he had never wanted to be. But Thor was mortal, running around somewhere on Midgard, Odin had fallen into Odinsleep, and for some reason Frigga had thought that Loki should take the throne.
It didn't matter that he was next in line, and had been trained his entire life to do so. Asgard didn't trust him. Sif and the Warriors Three schemed behind his back. Loki would never be accepted.
Loki pushed the tears of frustration down and stood on shaky legs. It didn't matter. The Warriors Three and Lady Sif didn't matter; Thor didn't matter; Anthony...
Loki closed his eyes. Anthony had made his choice. It was Iron Man, and it always would be. He wanted to play super hero rather than let the chaos that ran through his veins out. He would rather pretend to be good than just be himself.
Tipping his head back, Loki let out a long, deep breath. He had to go and greet the people of Asgard who wanted the King's ear. He couldn't let them see him like this. He wouldn't let Anthony reduce him to this.
Loki would never again return to Midgard, he decided. At least, not unless it was to stab one of his daggers very, very deeply into Thor's back. He would avoid New York and Malibu; he wouldn't even think about him. Loki would never sully himself with a disgusting human again.
He was Loki of Asgard. He was better than him.
Loki threw a glamour up to cover the bruises and cuts that still hadn't healed from his journey through the wall, and also made sure the dark bruises under his eyes were hidden. A quick sweep of his hand down his clothes and Loki was presentable.
With one last, deep breath, Loki left his quarters, ready to rule Asgard once more.
Author's Note: I hope you like it so far! Also, this story has seven chapters, is about 40,000 words long, and is complete. I'll post regularly until it's all up.