Sanzo. Zoro is wrongly told that he has only a few months to live, what's on his bucket list?
"Remember that time in highschool? Another night like that-" "No."
Sanji was on a mission. He was going to literally kill something in the next 24 hours. He hadn't even wanted to let Zoro go to that shitty fair without him and he was right to think so. The idiot only ended up with some other bogus way to get into his pants again.
"Then that time like on my birthday, but this time of course me-" "No."
Fuck and his lighter wasn't working right. He needed this smoke now more than ever. Who the fuck listened to fortune tellers anymore? A predicted death from the stars? There was no fucking way!
"I know how it works, I already got the lube and everything ready, we'd just need to do it before-"
"Really? You think your ultimate demise is going to let you fuck me in the ass? It ain't happenin' Marimo. Dream on." He hissed. It was childish really.
Zoro lowered his face. Damn, the cook was a tough cookie. Finally he sighed, causing Sanji's eyebrow to raise in the hopes maybe, just maybe he'd got it through his thick skull.
"Oi, come on, you know you liked that time now imagine from below-"
"I swear to god I'm burying you in a dick shaped casket if you ask me one more time."
Mihawk/Perona. Perona decorates the castle for Christmas.
"What.. is this…?"
The world's greatest swordsman was to stunned for words, even with his lack of vocal vocabulary. He merely brushed his hand over the tinsel that danced around the banister of his stair case, grunting upon noticing the large tree that had somehow been dragged into his castle and decorated with the infuriatingly bright dolls this never leaving house guest had created.
To top it all off, his words were barely even on the radar, considering the obnoxiously loud humming of Christmas Carols from a forgotten childhood he didn't really forget. Prompting him the stray thought of, Gee, do you think its fucking Christmas? He cringed as a chain of 'Horo, horo, horo's," the Walmart knock off of the official Chris Cringle laugh, phased through him like one of her 'adorable' ghosts.
The girl with her china doll eyes that clearly could see into his soul as well as he could see her split ends, turned to look at him, preparing to launch her nasally voice.
"It's cute." Were her only explanations to breaking all the unspoken rules Mihawk had set for her upon staying here.
The swordsman continued to join in the never ending staring contest with her until finally breaking it off, just giving a stern nod in understanding. It really was cute.
Shanks/Marco. They're drunk and Shanks thinks Marco should help him grow a new arm.
"You know its ironic, they always joke about a man and his hand but it's pretty awkward when it's just one." Shanks pouted, drowning himself in another guzzle of booze, his eyes snaking over at the phoenix to his side.
Marco had kept the same unamused expression, lightly drinking at his own alcohol and just subtly moving his chin in a polite, 'smile and nod' fashion to the other man's stories, even while wasted himself. Finally, he shifted in his seat, his brows furrowing in a way that gave Shanks hope that maybe his words finally reached the pineapple man whose eyes were threatening to cross.
Shanks grinned. Hook line and sink em, he'd caught the blond's interest. "So you get what I'm saying? Well I was just thinking.. since you are a bird or whatever and you heal with your fire, what if..-" he gestured his single hand around, making sure to keep his attention. "-what if just hypothetically, you cut your arm, gave it to me and we called it a day. You'd just grow a new one right?"
There was an uncomfortable pause and Marco burped up something fierce, then nodded.
"I.. I don't know.. maybe."
"Come on this could work! I've got the duct tape and everything. Let's try it shall we?" Shanks was already unsheathing his sword and pulling Marco's arm onto the table. Marco's eyes opened only a little bit more, given the eyelid space they were allowed.
"O-oi wait you aren't really gonna be using my hand to jack off are you-" He rambled, watching as he lined it up.
Neither would find out though, a jerk pulling Shank's back by his collar and a very unpleased Mihawk standing there to drag him off. He glowered at the Phoenix.
"Just because you have lost your butt buddy Marco the phoenix, does not mean that you can steal mine."
Zosan, Zoro is something like beetlejuice, or a beetle.
"mehhhhhh, Nami, I'm so bored.. where is the food…" Luffy whimpered, half tempted to start licking at the pictures on the Menu.
Nami's eyebrow twitched. Truly, the man she was dating didn't know jack shit about treating a lady. She just groaned, trying to ignore him and go back to her Menu.
Her cold shoulder plan didn't work long though however, as Luffy's mind wondered until a very brilliant idea appeared.
"I know I'll call Zoro!"
"Don't you dare Luffy! This is our date-"
Nami's eyes widened and like that, there was a puff of green smoke in the restaurant, several gasps and shocked cries coming from the other customers. The table, set for two that they'd been sitting at creaked loudly, a slur of curses and threats grumbling from underneath the smoke. Everyone waited anxiously for what the fuck happened.
Sanji's face was so red and he was doing the worst job of covering his face with his arm. He was butt naked, as was the Neanderthal dick deep in him, and pressed up against the table. He wanted to die, he knew this had been the worst decision in his life. This kind of shit only happened to him!
Zoro was mimicing the appearance of a deer in headlights, his breathing quick as he scowled around at those watching him until settling deadly on Luffy. Fucking bastard-
"What do you want Luffy!?" He growled, very impatient and mad at the situation his lover was practically dying from, already announcing how he'd need to change his name and switch countries because his ass was currently in Nami's salad bowl.
Luffy was just grinning, always thrilled at the arrival of his friends.
"Hey!" He laughed, looking them over. "What's that white stuff?"
To be continued...?