"I could never"

Fandom: Harry Potter

Time: Pre – War / Marauders

Age limit: K +

Pairing: Sirius Black x Remus Lupin / Wolfstar + Mentions of Lily x James

Disclaimer: All goes to J.K. Rowling, sadly… If I had them all… Well, let's just say that a few people were still alive and homosexuality quite more popular among them. ;p -

Three of the four Marauders sat in the Gryffindor Common room, talking like they used to in the good old times of yesteryear.

"Where's Peter again?" That had been the question on their lips for a long while, since the male had been missing quite often.

They had speculated about him having a girlfriend, when Sirius shook his head. "That's a joke, right?" he had asked, his eyes sparkling with some kind of amusement and disbelieving. "This is Pete we're talking about, boys, our rat! Nothing against him but I doubt he has a girlfriend before old Remus here does." he chuckled lightly, looking to the man next to him, who rolled his eyes in response.

James saw the opportunity to throw in a comment, "But can't you see, Pads, all Moony ever wanted was you. Why would he have a girlfriend?"

The werewolf's cheeks flushed a light scarlet at those words, something that Sirius of course missed.

He only chuckled and smirked at his friend as he nodded. "Why of course he does, everyone wants me." the Black said, a grin on his face because they all knew that it was mostly true. Sirius is the infatuation of almost all the girls at Hogwarts, and there were surely also a few men that wanted nothing more than determining whether those rumors about his talent in bed were true.

Remus, however, just snickered and replied in a playful tone, "Oh Pads are you truly going to cheat on me, my little Chihuahua?"

James burst out laughing and even Sirius couldn't help but grin lightly as he answered, "You know, Moony, I'm not even sure if that was an insult or rather a compliment."

Remus grinned. "You know what? Me neither." he replied, causing the other two to laugh even more before James shook his head, sitting up properly again.

"I gotta go now." James declared and by the dreamy look in his eyes both Sirius and Remus immediately knew who their friend was going to meet that night. Naturally, Sirius felt the need to add, "Greet our Lily-Poo for us." with a cheeky grin, which caused James to blush brightly. "What-? How did you-?" he exclaimed disbelieving and Remus lightly patted his shoulder. "Your eyes, Prongs." he said with a wink and a soft smile. "Now, off you go!" the werewolf then added and didn't need to say that twice, as the male rushed out of the room, cheeks still reddened.

Sirius beamed at his friend. "So, all you want is me?" he questioned with a smirk and Remus softly chuckled, fondly patting the dark haired male's cheek. "In your dreams, Pads." he said, unaware of just how true that actually was.

Yes. Sirius Black, crush of almost everyone at Hogwarts was in fact gay. Well, not only that. He was gay and in love with his best friend: Remus Lupin. The only person aware of this was James and he had sworn to never breathe a word of that to Moony.

The two Marauders spent the rest of their evening watching a film, though at some point, Remus began feeling hungry. Sirius smiled at the male, telling him to, "Just stay under the bloody blanket, I'll bring you something that you'll love".

He took the Marauder's Map, invented by none other than themselves, with which he easily managed to get to the kitchen.

The house elves greeted him eagerly, having known Sirius from previous encounters.

"Could I have something chocolaty?" he requested with a fond smile on his lips since he knew how Remus would love just anything that had chocolate in it. They all nodded in agreement and only a few minutes later, one of the elves approached him, arms clutching a bowl filled to the brim. In it was the wished, sweet chocolate pudding. "Milly made chocolate pudding, Sir." the elf announced to the man with pride. "Milly hopes Sir likes it." Sirius took the bowl gratefully, "Thank you very much, Milly. I love it" he said and turned on his heel, waving shortly before he brought Remus the delicious looking treat.

"Moony!" he called out when he arrived back in the common room, only to see his friend fast asleep on the sofa. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, though that immediately changed into a frown when he saw the male's expression. He looked as though he was in much pain which caused a hurting pang in Sirius chest. He went over to the other and gently shook his shoulder, "Moony…" he mumbled softly as he did so "Moo- Remus, wake up!" After a few attempts, the smaller male sat up straight.

His face was full with pain, his eyes practically screaming for help. Sirius immediately pulled the male into his arms, sitting down and rocking him as if he were a child. "It's alright…. it's all alright… I'm here for you, Moony…" he was whispering, tenderly holding the man he loved in an embrace as he sobbed. Eventually, he managed to calm down a bit though still clung to Sirius.

Sirius gently smiled at him and placed a light kiss to his hair that made them both blush a bit before he said. "How about we lie down in my bed and eat that delicious chocolate pudding the house elves have made?" Remus couldn't help but lighten up; nodding as Sirius gently picked him and the pudding up, carrying both upstairs into their dormitory.

Carefully, he lay the boy down and gently stroked his cheek for a moment before sitting down next to him.

Remus rested his head on Sirius' shoulder, a small smile on his lips as he transfigured two quills into spoons since his dark haired friend seemed to have forgotten to bring those.

They ate the pudding, cuddling while they did so, spending an evening that they both would later on describe as one of their best, then fell asleep together, embracing one another.

When James came back later that night, he went up to the dorm with a contented sigh. His evening with Lily was great and neither of them regretted breaking the rules at any point of it. He opened the door to their room and what he saw, made him smile. Remus and Sirius cuddled together in one bed with the half eaten chocolate pudding standing next to them on the cupboard. "Finally…" he mumbled softly as he too lay down.

The next morning Remus woke up before his friend did and found himself lying in his strong though gentle arms. He was smiling softly, wanting nothing more than to cuddle into them again and fall back asleep.

He then looked at the clock that hung on the wall of the red decorated room, his eyes widening.

They were late for breakfast! Remus gently shook his friend in the same way the other had shaken him the night before and Sirius slowly but surely opened his dark eyes, sleepily looking at his friend. "Remus…?" he mumbled softly, his embrace weakening which gave the smaller the room to slip out of the bed.

"Get up, Padfoot, we're late!" he exclaimed and went over to his wardrobe where he pulled out his robes and soon after ran into the bathroom. The dark haired man watched after him, slightly confused but jumped out of bed when the realization hit him. He stumbled towards his own clothes and just as he took them, Remus came out of the bathroom.

"Your turn, Pads" he said with a soft smile, having calmed down slightly as he made his way over to the other male who nodded and rushed past him. "Thanks Moony!" the male answered and already was in the room, when he could hear Remus chuckling a bit. The male waited for his friend and about five minutes after the other went into their bathroom, he already was out, a smile on his lips while looking just as stunning as always even though he only just now had jumped out of bed.

Remus watched him, his gaze soft as he went towards him and wrapped his arms around him in an embrace. "Thank you for everything you did yesterday…" he mumbled gently, his eyes closing for a second.

Sirius had been quite surprised by the gesture though who was he to mind? He immediately wrapped his arms back around the werewolf and smiled as they stayed like that for a while, feeling perfectly fine in the other's arms.

When they pulled away, both were blushing severely, not looking at each other as they made their way downstairs to the Great Hall.

James was already there, talking about his evening with Lily while Peter, who had come back even later the last evening, ate his breakfast, nodding eagerly as he listened.

When the two Marauders who were late came in together, James shot them a grin which widened even further when he had realized that both of them had flushed faces. They sat down together and their friends leant over, beaming happily.

"Congrats! I can't believe that you finally told him Pads! See? I knew he'd say 'Yes', of course he would. I'm so glad that the secret is out and you're finally together!" Sirius looked at him, his eyes widened, hurt evident in his dark orbs as he shook his head.

"We aren't…" he mumbled and James bit his lips. "You… You aren't…? Oh… Oops?" he asked, but Sirius already had jumped up and stormed out of the Hall, Remus looking after him in confusion.

"What…-?" he asked, looking over at James who just shrugged apologently and sighed.

All of sudden, realization was clearly to be seen in the werewolf's eyes and his brunet friend winced since he knew the other had figured it out.

After sitting there for a minute, completely in shock, the male jumped up and sprinted after his best friend, cursing slightly when he saw that the male already was out of sight.

He went back to their dormitory, checking if the dark haired animagus was there, feeling slight disappointment as he was proven wrong though.

His eyes then made contact with a certain map and an almost even mischievous smile made its way on his face.

He took the parchment, holding his wand towards it while mumbling the needed words "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good," and watched as the dots and ways appeared on it.

A warm smile was on his face as he saw the dot with the name he had searched for residing on the Astronomy tower. He cleared the map with a "Mischief managed", then made his way towards the high building.

The werewolf climbed up the stairs and saw his friend sitting there.

Quietly, he settled down next to him, smiling as he saw the view. "Hey…" he said softly, a friendly gaze in his eyes.

"Hey…" Sirius mumbled quietly, "Why are you here…?" his voice was weak, sounded defeated.

It hurt Remus to see his friend like that, so he simply leant his head against his chest, closing his eyes.

The dark haired man immediately felt his heart beating faster, as he looked at him, confused.

"Don't you hate me…?" he asked quietly, as he lightly bit his lips.

Remus though shook his head and a loving smile graced his face.

He brought his hand up to the other's face, cupping it as he moved his thumb over the smooth, soft skin.

"I could never…" he then whispered and pulled the other closer, his eyes closing.

Their lips met in a firework of emotions.

Their stomachs tingled with the feeling of thousand butterflies in them.

Their hearts were beating fast.

He could never hate him.

No. Not when he felt the same.