Unlikely Places

So the cage opens and Sam discovers that he is actually Lucifer. Now he has to dodge the other angels, the demons, try not to destroy the world and somehow work out how he's going to explain this all to Dean. Turns out it might be easier that he thinks. AU Season 5

The cage spills open in blinding white light and they should totally be running in the other direction. Instead Sam's staring in amazement as it dies down.

"Let's go," Dean is dragging him towards the door but Sam doesn't want to leave.

And just like that the door slams closed.

That was handy, Sam thinks. Now maybe if they could end up somewhere more useful… like… say… a nearby airplane…

And then they are.

The light splits the sky and Sam feels like he's only just opened his eyes and he's finally seen everything for as it is. He was feeling the world beneath his wings after so long caged in the pit and…

Wait… what?


Sam only starts to panic later. Once they've been to Chuck's house and are well on their way to anywhere-but-here. He's Lucifer. He's always been Lucifer. He just let his mojo (and memories) out of a box.

Chuck doesn't seem to recognise him. Which is a relief because it means the prophet must not have written the conversation yet. But Dean's looking to kill the devil and Sam's still trying to work out how to tell him that he doesn't need to kill Lucifer because Lucifer doesn't need killing.

He's feeling like he has a split personality (which he does) so he goes off to think while Dean tries to figure out where Michael's sword is hidden. Personally he thinks that Michael losing his sword is just clumsy, and just the sort of thing his older jerk of a brother would do, but he's prepared to try and find it for him.

Then instead it turns out to be the angels, just trying to trap Dean, so they can announce to him how he's Michael's vessel.

Sam doesn't want that. Lucifer doesn't want that. If Dean says 'yes' then Michael will kill him. 'Him' being both Dean, who would be burnt out to nothing, and Lucifer who disobeyed… Michael would kill him without a thought, because Michael was a good son and he was the rebel… the angsty teenager with the tantrum.

So he steals off and starts to try and at least clear up a bit of the mess. He tells War that the Apocalypse is called off and the horseman accepts it with a shrug, and heads right off back to the Middle East. Lucifer sneaks back to Dean as if nothing happened.

Castiel keeps shooting him looks, and Lucifer wonders why he doesn't recognise him. The angel says nothing though, and obeys everything Dean tells him too. If Dean told him to jump, Castiel would ask how high, like a good little soldier. Eventually tired of this Dean tells Castiel to relax, and drags the angel on a couple of hunts with them. That one somehow winds up with them trapping an archangel in holy fire was not the plan, but still, it was fun while it lasted. Dean also used the opportunity to take Castiel to a brothel, and some part of Lucifer which is very, most definitely still Sam feels for the poor young angel.

Gabriel tracks him down in an alley. "Why are you still pretending to be Sam Winchester?" he asks, evidently very confused. The archangel gone trickster had expected a big show down but this… Lucifer was falling into line like the good son he wasn't.

"I kind of like humanity." Sam admits to him. "And Dean... Dean went to hell for me." He's blanketed in that warmth and love and he doesn't want to lose that by ending the world.

Gabriel raises his eyebrows. "Ooookayyy," he says slowly. "You've gotta' tell him y'know. Dean-o's not gonna' be happy 'bout this."

And Lucifer knows this. So he's trying to rack up as many points with Dean as possible so he can prove that he's changed and that he's not going to burn down the world. Then Zachariah finds him.

"You!" the chubby angel glares at him, "How dare you prevent the Michael Sword from consenting?"

"I'm not preventing Dean from doing anything. Dean does what he wants to," Lucifer shrugs.

Then Raphael shows up. He must have escaped the holy fire in Maine. "Brother," he announces icily. "What is the point of this illusion? We all know that Dean will say 'yes' and then Michael will smite you."

How nice of him. Sam let his wings show shadows threateningly. "Leave us alone. I'm not playing along with your games. I've made my mistakes and been punished for them. Isn't that enough?"

Gabriel chooses this moment to pop in. Sam is so thankful that Dean has gone out to get food. Zachariah and Raphael look in shock at Gabriel when they finally see through the pagan disguise.

"Gabriel? Why are you…?" Raphael doesn't have words to describe it. Lucifer doesn't really know either.

"Hey Luci I'm home. Hi Zach, Raph… boy does someone need to schedule you in for surgery to get that stick removed." Neither laugh. Gabriel sighs, "That was a joke. Laugh assholes!"

"Do I look like I find this amusing?" Raphael glares.

"You never look like you find anything amusing," Gabriel sighs. "Now don't mind me. I just came to watch the fireworks." He summons up a bag of popcorn.

"What?" Sam feels a tinge of panic. Gabriel just grins wider. "Oh crap… can we take this conversation somewhere else… Dean's going to be right back…"

He's too late though as the motel door opens and Dean pushes through, with two bags of greasy fast food in one hand and two coffees in the other. He drops the fast food on the bed and then turns around to close the door. Then he looks up, freezing at the uninvited guests in the room.

Gabriel continues to munch on his popcorn.

Dean's eyes go straight to the shadow of Sam's wings. He blinks and looks warily at the other three. "Sam?" he asks, "Next time you want to invite the halo patrol for an orgy, please tell me."

The lights are still flickering, and Lucifer's wings are still visible, shadows spreading across the back of the room as a threat. Hearing Dean though the shadow fades but it's too late. The damage is done.

"Sure Dean," Sam says weakly. "Except they're not invited..." How did Dean know Gabriel was an angel anyway?

Zachariah cackles. Actually cackles. "You see this?" he stabs a finger in Sam's direction. "This is why you have to say 'yes'! Your brother is lying to you!"

Dean frowns. "What are you talking about?" he asks slowly and carefully, placing the coffees on the table after realising they are still in his hands.

"He's not Sam," the bald guy states, "Not anymore. He's Lucifer!" Zachariah announces triumphantly, grinning like a maniac at Dean.

There is an awkward pause.

Dean examines Sam carefully, squinting slightly. His eyes widen, probably piecing facts together and he pushes past Zachariah. The angel is triumphantly watching the proceedings with Raphael as Dean heads straight for Sam.

Sam awaits his fate silently.

What he doesn't expect is for Dean to reach for the air next to Sam and run his hands through it.

Zachariah and Raphael stop smiling at seeing Dean start to groom Lucifer's wings. Gabriel snickers into a chocolate bar.

Sam shudders, feeling Dean's fingers touch his wings. "What… what are you doing?" he asks, frowning as Dean continues to run his fingers through his wings.

"I can't believe you let them get like this," Dean snaps at him, "Did you just sit there and let them get covered in ash and…" he sniffs them. Actually sniffs them. "Sulphur," he wrinkles his nose. "And you didn't even bother to clean them?"

Dean's grooming his wings. Raphael and Zachariah seem as shocked as Lucifer is. Gabriel's lips however are curling up into a grin as if he's just worked something out.

Almost as soon as he does the grin drops off his face to be replaced by pure terror. "Oh crap," he mutters.

"What… what are you doing?" Zachariah demands, "You… you're meant to be saying 'yes' to Michael!"

Dean ignores him, still fussing over the state of Sam's wings.

"You don't care?" Raphael doesn't seem to understand humans at all. "That your brother is the devil?"

The elder Winchester pauses. He's just pulled a towel from somewhere and is in the process of cleaning the ash off Lucifer's once white wings. "Well… it kind of sucks now I think about it," he admits and Sam's heart falls. "But otherwise no, not really."

Gabriel still looks terrified but he isn't going anywhere. That is the moment that Castiel pops in with a flutter of wings. He takes one look at the scene and then turns to Dean.

"I found Pestilence." He tells Dean, as if he is reporting back to his general. "I managed to negotiate a deal which involves him foregoing the Apocalypse. He's now trying to invent ways to cure some of his diseases so he can start over fresh by the time the next Apocalypse rolls over. He doesn't seem to realise it's scheduled for a few billion years yet."


Lucifer blinks. "Dean asked you to look for the Horsemen?" he asks.

Cass nods. "Yes."

"Hello Castiel," Raphael says evenly, sounding a little bit annoyed.

Castiel looks calmly at Zachariah and Raphael. He ignores Gabriel entirely. "Brothers," he greets. He doesn't seem at all scared. "What are they doing here?" he defers to Dean the question which in itself is odd.

"Oh you know," Dean shrugs, "The usual. Say 'yes' to Michael. Your brother is the devil. Save the world. It's getting a bit tedious."

Castiel doesn't seem surprised by any of that information. "Have you told them?" he asks, observing Gabriel's terrified face.

Dean looks at the four other angels. "I think Gabriel has guessed," he admits. "Would it make him feel better if I told him I don't hate him too much for Mystery Spot?"

Gabriel visible relaxes.

"Probably," Cass says.

"Enough of this!" Zachariah sneers, "Say 'yes' already! End this!"

Dean sighs. "Say 'yes' to who exactly?" he asks Zachariah with patience.

"To Michael," the angel snaps back, "Who else?"

"And where…" Dean smirks, "Exactly is Michael?"

That question stumps Zachariah and Raphael still looks confused. It seems to be his permanent expression.

Lucifer frowns, trying to see what Dean's getting at. Cass looks relaxed, after having reported in to Dean, as if he did it regularly.

As if he was reporting back to his general.

Maybe he was reporting back to his general.

Sam looks back at Dean, staring hard. If he squints really hard he can just make out the flicker of bronze gold wings before they vanish. They're so well hidden if he hadn't been looking he would never have spotted them.


"Yeah?" Dean stops cleaning his wings, looking up. He blinks, taking in the note of name. "That is my name last time I checked. At least… one of them…"

Zachariah looks sick. Gabriel looks torn between laughing his head off and being terrified. No wonder. His though process must have been something like – Michael you crafty bastard what have you been doing? Never thought you'd have the guts to go human. And Dean Winchester of all people? Braved hell did you? For Lucifer of course it would never be anything less… I knew I liked you with the slow dancing aliens… and then that time in Broward oh crap I killed him again and again and he's going to kill me I'm going to die. What inspired me to kill him on a Tuesday of all days and thank dad Lucifer hasn't realised that yet or else I'm doomed for the next hundred years.

Gabriel did have it coming for him. He'd spent a hundred Tuesdays killing Dean in various horrible ways after all.

He'd spent a hundred Tuesdays killing Michael in various horrible ways.

Raphael still looks confused. "What?" he asks. "Brother what are you talking about?"

"How long..?" Sam feels slightly betrayed now, that Dean's been Michael and he never said anything.

Dean laughs. "Always..."

And that should make him angry and pissed off, but instead it makes him feel comforted and safe. Michael was there to carry him out of a burning building. Michael was there to look after him as a child. Michael was there to care for him, to keep him safe.

Michael went to hell for him.

"Enough of this," Raphael stalks forwards. Gabriel and Castiel stand in his way. "What are you doing?"

"That's… that's Michael…" Zachariah whimpers. "But… how…"

Raphael sneers, "This mud monkey isn't our general. Look at him. He's a human, still tainted by the pit."

Dean sighs, still cleaning Lucifer's left wing. Inside himself he shifts something, unfurling his grace, and for the first time in several millennia Lucifer sees Michael's bronze wings flare out fully.

Now its Zachariah's turn to look terrified and Raphael looks apprehensive. "You… when did he say 'yes'?"

Dean shrugs. "I didn't," he stops grooming Lucifer's wing. "Didn't need to... I had a little case of the falling."

"Where was the tree?" Gabriel is curious.

"When was the tree?" Sam asks, folding his wings up, so that Michael doesn't decide they need bleaching.

"No tree," Michael laughs, fingers going to the amulet around his neck, the metal the same colour as his wings. He turns it over in his hand before letting it drop and Lucifer feels his jaw dropping open. "Just a little bronze amulet..." The thing pulses under his fingers, and Sam realises the reason he never sensed Michael's Grace was because it wasn't wrapped around his soul, nor worn like a cloak. It was resting over his heart in the amulet, grace sitting next to soul and each indistinguishable from each other.

He'd looked after that amulet when Dean died. Hell he'd given Dean that amulet.

Just a protection charm that happened to turn up at Bobby's… Yeah right, as if Michael the over protective git hadn't engineered for it to end up there, to end up in Dean's own hands and to then eventually distil its information. Dean had been Michael for years and he'd never even guessed.

"So… why aren't you two fighting?" Raphael asks, still puzzled.

"We called off the Apocalypse," Cass says, and he sounds smug that feathered nerd. "Dean asked me to act as an excuse for getting him out of hell after he broke the first seal and then to help Lilith break the last to let Lucifer free."

"You… aren't going to fight?" Raphael doesn't seem to understand.

"There are no plans to," Dean shrugs one shoulder.

Raphael nods, unlike Zachariah who is silently fuming, fists clenched. He almost looked about to speak up if it wasn't for the four archangels and one powerful seraph in the room who all saw his life as very expendable. Raphael instantly seems to accept the lack of an imminent Apocalypse, always ready to obey his general's orders.

Huh. Who knew? Angels really did just throw Apocalypses when they were bored.

Sam is still trying to get over the fact that Michael went to hell for him. That Michael willingly tortured in hell to get him free.

Gabriel seems to have gotten over his fear and has collapsed into laughter. "You stabbed me knowing full well I wasn't a Trickster. And say what you like but you let me kill you again and again!"

Michael rolls his eyes. Raphael looks confused. Zachariah is terrified. Castiel is amused. Gabriel is in hysterics.

And Lucifer… he thinks he might just be happy… for the first time since he fell out of heaven.

January 2014 - I had the scene of Michael!Dean just cleaning Lucifer!Sam's wings and poor Sam being really confused and scared of what his brother was thinking, and this little drabble piece just wrote itself.