Summary: (Harry Potter / Hetalia Axis Powers Crossover) England decides to teach at Hogwarts to keep an eye on the Boy Who Lived. But the famous Trio (Harry, Ron, Hermione) are becoming suspicious of their new professor... Can England keep his status as a country a secret? And what does Voldemort want with him?

Pairings: Not much to say, although there is a bit of Ukraine/Canada much later on. If you don't like that pairing, don't worry, like I said it doesn't appear until much later on, and there shouldn't be a whole lot of it.

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Hetalia blah blah blah


It was such a beautiful colour, really. Stunning, even. So pretty... and yet, so harshly bright and blinding to the eyes.

England had always had mixed feelings about red. It represented all that was good and all that was evil in the world. Love, passion, evil, sacrifice, blood... all depicted in a single shade of brilliant colour...

He coughed again, and red splattered the sink that he was currently leaned over. His body shuddered with unhealthy, rattling breaths.

It was strange. He shouldn't be reacting so harshly to a single attack. This wasn't natural.

Another hacking cough, another added dose of red.

England examined the red with critical but almost curious green eyes. The source of the red was his own blood.

Why was this happening to him?

With a deep, shaky sigh he washed the blood down the sink and wiped the remnants of the thick red liquid from the corners of his mouth before walking into the parlour and sitting down heavily on a sofa. He tiredly closed his clouded green eyes and focused on breathing. Breath in... breath out... in... out...

When his breathing was relatively calmed, England opened his eyes and again and considered his situation. This last week he had been having occasional violent coughing fits, like the one he had just recently endured in the loo. He knew why this was happening, of course. Voldemort had been out having fun killing "muggles" lately. (It didn't help that that damn useless ministry hadn't been doing a thing.)No, England completely understood the why factor of his situation, he had after all felt and experienced his people's death through their eyes... What he didn't comprehend was why it was causing him this degree of pain and suffering. The Dark Lord had been surprisingly quiet lately, keeping to the shadows and maintaining a low profile to avoid arousing the suspicion of the Ministry. So what explained the repeated bleeding from the mouth? Those types of things only happened to a country if he or she experienced severe loses, not one or two random deaths.

Sighing again the nation of England stood and stretched his aching muscles. England felt something click deep inside of him. This could not go on. England resolved at that moment that he wouldn't stand by and do nothing any longer while his people continued to be in the threat of cruel murder. Of course, there'd be a limit to just how far he'd be able to interfere with He-who-must-not-be-named's plans, but he had to do at least something.

England growled and tightened his fist agitatedly.

If I can't kill You-know-who... England mentally growled. I am going to make SURE that the Chosen One DOES... I don't know how much of this I can take.

Almost instantly England's ungentlemanly anger evaporated at the thought of the Chosen One... to be more accurate a knobbly-kneed, gangly, messy-haired boy of a mere 15 years. Harry Potter. The great nation of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland had observed the boy with interest since the day of his birth.

"...I think it's time I paid Hogwarts another visit..." England said aloud thoughtfully. "It's been... what? A thousand years or so? Give or take a few years? Besides, I need to keep an eye on Potter, and what better way to watch over the lad than to be his teacher? Not only that, but if a full-out magical war is indeed on the horizon, then I think it would benefit me to assist in the instruction of the next generation of witches and wizards to prepare them for the gruesome war that will surely come to pass."

With a nod England swiftly stood and brushed off his clothes. "It's settled then. Now I think I'd better contact that Dumbledore fellow."

To say that Professor Dumbledore was surprised when a large tawny owl swooped into his office, clutching a envelope and screeching loudly, would be an understatement. Dumbledore was not startled easily, but he had not been expecting a letter, least of all from such a obnoxiously loud creature at the ungodly hour of two o'clock in the morning.

Fawkes lifted his feathered-head from his perch and curiously regarded the noisy owl briefly, as if he himself was also baffled at the unexpected letter.

"Thank you, my friend," thanked Dumbledore in a quiet voice as he removed the envelope from the owl's presented leg. The owl ruffled it's feathers and flew to stand on the edge of his desk.

Dumbledore quickly opened the letter and withdrew a square piece of parchment. The words on the parchment were written with green ink and exceptionally neat and elegant hand-writing.

To Professor Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

I would like to discuss the vacant position of Assistant Profesor, which has been open for some time. If you are interested, please contact me by use of owl, so that we may organize an appropriate meeting time to discuss wages and my qualification.

I know that your first impulse will be to politely refuse my offer, but before you do, I implore you to at least consider giving me a chance. I promise that I won't disappoint you...

Arthur Kirkland

Humming thoughtfully Dumbledore placed the letter gently on the desk. The letter had been formal, but direct and brief, going straight to the point.

An Assistant Professor? Hogwarts hadn't hosted such an occupation in years. They were hard to come by, since not many people were willing to put enough work and dedication into such a time-consuming role. Their last Assistant Professor had died a rather painful and messy death. An Assistant Professor, while sounding rather easy, was actually a difficult job. It required someone who was qualified to teach all available classes and subjects offered at the school. An Assistant Professor served as a stand-by substitute, and was also responsible for carrying out the occasional odd, and often dangerous tasks.

Very well. He would give this "Arthur Kirkland" a try.

Dumbledore grabbed another sheet of parchment and quickly scribbled down a response. After securing his reply onto the leg of the owl, it swooped out the window and into the night air.

Hmmm... Dumbledore realized, he hadn't heard of anyone called "Arthur Kirkland" before... well, it would be foolish to assume that he knew EVERYONE in the British magical community...

England shifted uncomfortably in his seat under Dumbledore's intense gaze.

"So glad you were able to make it today, Mr. Kirkland." said Dumbledore kindly, breaking the awkward silence.

"Thanks for allowing me to come... and considering my proposition."

Dumbledore shrugged. "Naturally I was curious. I couldn't just turn you down without letting you plead your cause. Alright, let's get down to business." Dumbledore leaned forward over his desk and eyed Arthur critically, but not unkindly. "Let's discuss your training. I want you to be completely honest with me: are you qualified to teach the courses offered here at Hogwarts?"

England closed his eyes and leaned back into his chair. "I have had much experience with magical creatures, and in my studies have managed to earn the trust of some rarer breeds of creatures." At these words England snapped his fingers and his friendly companion Flying Mint Bunny appeared hovering over his shoulders.

"Hi England! You called?" she chirped, nuzzling England's already messy blond hair with her dainty nose.

England coughed nervously. "That's her nickname for me. "England"."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow but didn't make any comments. England mentally let out a sigh of relief that the Headmaster hadn't questioned Flying Mint Bunny's slip up in names. The last thing he needed was Dumbledore being suspicious.

"I just wanted to show you off to this kind man here, my magnificent Flying Mint Bunny friend," cooed England. "You can leave now, if you want." With a parting lick up the back of England's head, the Flying Mint Bunny disappeared with a puff of mint-smelling smoke.

"That was very impressive. It is rare for Flying Mint Bunnies to appear for humans and tolerate their presence without fleeing, let alone for you to befriend one." conceded Dumbledore, his eyes sparkling with awe.

England nodded in acknowledgement. "Thank you for your kind words. I am also reasonably accomplished in the Dark Arts, erm, that is to say... Defense AGAINST the Dark Arts. I could assist in the teaching of the subject if the need arose."

"Would you mind giving me a demonstration?" Dumbledore asked politely, his face intrigued.

"Of course," said England, standing and retrieving his old wand from within his pocket. England gripped the wand uncertainly, having not used such a device in many, many years. He preferred using more... primitive, forms of magic, and often did not require a wand. Before coming to have the job interview, England had spent a good hour digging through his drawers to find his old wand, which had lain abandoned and collecting dust somewhere in his worn dresser for who-knows-how-long. It was a simple oak wand of nine inches with a unicorn tail hair core.

England then proceeded to cast a variety of spells, many of which were advanced. Some of the more simple spells and hexes included a stunning spell, impendimenta, incendio, and exploding spell, a fully corpeal patronus charm, a disarming spell, a few different charms such as a levitating charm, a petrifying hex, a memory erasing spell, and many others. England then moved on to the more complex defense spells.

When he had finished with his demonstration, England felt deeply shocked that he had remembered all these spells despite not using wand-required spells for hundreds of years.

Dumbledore clapped his hands together in applause, and England in response made a mock bow to the praise.

"Well done, Mr. Kirkland," said Dumbledore, his eyes alight.

For the next hour Dumbledore continued to question Arthur on his abilities, including what potion-making experience he had, what knowledge he had with history and muggle habits (England almost snorted aloud at that question, but he had to remember that to teach Muggle Studies a Professor needed to know this kind of stuff. Still, it was almost comical how little wizards knew about their less-magical counterparts.), if he was good with astronomy and runes, and if he had experience with children.

Finally, Dumbledore lowered his glasses and clasped his hands together, announcing that they were done. "It seems that everything is in order. From what you've shown and told me tonight, you are a exceptionally talented wizard, especially considering your youth. You seem more than qualified to take the position of Assistant Professor, if you are willing to accept it. As you know, your duties in this occupation will encompass many things. Currently, our gamekeeper and Care for Magical Creatures Professor, Rubeus Hagrid, is on leave, so you will fill in for him until his return. The school will also require you to substitute if any teachers find themselves unable to do fulfill their responsibilities. If any Professor require assistance in demonstrations while teaching, you will be obliged to fulfill this role. As for your wages, the school will provide you with 120 galleons a month if you are performing satisfactorily. If you shirk or find yourself becoming lazy, galleons may be docked from your salary. So... what say you?"

England nodded curtly, his green eyes narrowing with determination. "I accept."

Dumbledore smiled and shook England's hand warmly. "Welcome to Hogwarts, Professor Kirkland. At the start of term you will be expected to report here to begin your work. I look forward to seeing you again in September."

"It's been a pleasure, Profesor Dumbledore," returned Arthur politely, standing up and striding out of the room.

There was one problem that had to be dealt with if England was going to be teaching at Hogwarts for a year. This issue was that England could not neglect his job as a country. Most of the paperwork he could take care of during his free hours at Hogwarts, but someone needed to represent the United Kingdom in his place while he was absent. Someone needed to take notes and participate in meetings with the other Nations in his place.

And that was why Arthur found himself standing in front of his brother Wales' house in the rain.

After a few knocks on the wooden door, it swung open to reveal the face of Wales, that upon seeing England shivering at his doorstep immediately morphed into an expression of shock and disbelief.

England shifted slightly, his messy blond hair soaked to the scalp. "Well, don't just stand there with your mouth agape. Will you let me in already? It's bloody freezing out here."

Slightly flustered, Wales reluctantly ushered England inside.

"Just what do you think you're doing here, Arthur?" Wales grit out in a growling voice, getting right to the point and pushing all pleasantries aside.

"...I need your help," England admitted grudgingly.

Wales' eyebrows rose at this confession. "You need my help." he repeated dubiously.

"Yes, well, a bit... See, I'm going to be away for a bit-" began England nervously.

"Where will you be going?" interjected Wales curiously.

"Well, if you must know, I'll be working at Hogwarts."

"Eh, that's surprising... you don't strike me as the teaching type."

"I'll get along just fine. Anyways, as I was saying, while I'm gone I'm going to need someone to fill in as the representative of the United Kingdom at meetings."

Wales' green eyes narrowed as he scratched his whiskers thoughtfully. "...Why not just ask Ireland, or maybe Scotland?"

"Because lately Scot and Northern Ireland have seemed to develop an unpleasant habit of regularly drinking themselves senseless. And you KNOW how they are when they get drunk-"

"No worse than you." Wales pointed out bluntly.

"Shut your trap. I avoid alcohol like it's the plague." England sputtered, his face slightly flushed.

"Whatever you say." said Wales sarcastically, not in the mood to get in a petty argument with his brother.

"And I can't entirely trust Northern Ireland, because you know how impulsive he can be... And with my luck Scot would probably bring Nessie with him to World Meetings..." England drifted off with a shudder.

Wales stood there for a moment, considering his brother's proposition. "Does Scottie know you're going to be teaching at his school?" he asked after a moment of pondering.

"What do you mean his school?"

"Well, it is on his terf..."

"It's as much my school as it is his," England huffed.

"Mmhmm, whatever, so does he know?"

"Of course he knows. He said he doesn't really care that I'm teaching there."

There was an uncomfortable moment of silence between the two brothers. Neither was entirely sure how to act around the other. In the past, they had never really gotten along well, but lately Wales and England had been warming up to each other slightly.

"So, will you help me out...?" England finally pressed.

"Eh, sure, I'll owl you any papers that require your attention and attend the meetings in your place." Wales conceded with a casual shrug.

"Thanks so much Wales, you're a lifesaver." said England with relief and gratitude lacing his voice.

"Yea, yea." muttered Wales, uncomfortable with being thanked so sincerely by his younger brother. "Now get out of my house, your clothes are soaking the carpets."

England was currently at a World Meeting, listening to his fellow Nations bicker and argue over petty things. On any other occasion, England likely would have been avidly participating in the pointless yelling, but today he was more serious and less tolerant of the usual nonsense that accompanied World Meetings.

"Why so quiet, Angleterre?" questioned France, his hand slowly drifting towards the grave England.

Irritably England slapped the Frenchman's hand away before rising and placing both hands on the table, pointedly ignoring France's question.

"Excuse me, everyone, can I have your attention briefly?" he called out.

No one responded.

England sighed and tried again, but there was still no response.


Finally there was silence. Almost everyone in the room turned to stare at England with stunned expressions, shocked at his uncharacteristic bout of anger.

"Thank you," murmured England with satisfaction. "I'd like to make an announcement. I thought it best to warn you that in a months' time I will be absent from any meetings in order to take care of some... delicate national issues. However, my older brother Wales will be here in my stead. While I am gone, I'd prefer if none of you sought me out. ...That means you America." England glared warningly at America, who in turn pouted slightly.

"But Iggy! Where are you going?" America asked, his expression slightly "put-out". A few other countries murmured in questioning.

"None of your business. And don't you dare come looking for me young man, I need a bit of isolation. With you around it's impossible to get any peace and quiet." England scowled.

America did not seem in the least bit fazed at England's unkind words, being used to the gruff manner of the elder country. He did seem a little sad about England's announcement though.

"Very vell, vee shall respect your vishes, Britain," consented Germany. There were sounds of acknowledgement and agreement from the other Nations. "Vee hope zat zis matter vill be resolved quickly, zat you vill soon be able to join us again." Germany continued formally.

England nodded in gratitude. Let's hope...

Next chapter has some Harry!

Now I know I should probably be working on my other fics... and believe me, I am! But lately I've had some writers block, and suddenly got a BUTT LOAD of inspiration for this! THOSE DAIN PLOT BUNNIES JUST WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE AARGHSGD

Happy New Years!

AndIknowIpromisedtofinishTheCursedAmuletbefore2014... BUTBUTBUTBUT ;W; I PROMISE TO FINISH IT SOON OKAY IT'S ALMOST DONE ANYWAAYS *sobs*

Anyways, I plan on updating this pronto!

Review please! It encourages me to writer faster!