Rubies and Gold

Disclaimer(That I'm not going to forget this fanfiction): CLAMP owns Rayearth, please don't sue. Um…Tori Amos owns all of the songs I'm going to use, as of yet, I might throw Depeche Mode in there, but not that I know of. So everything is copyright Tori Amos and Atlantic Records, (ha she moved to Epic, but all these are before that) and of course wonderful CLAMP owns all the characters, voila, a disclaimer.

*HA! You thought you were rid of me that easily?! No! I have inspiration! I'm so excited! So the gist of this, it's an angsty-romance sort of thing. But it's going to have two different parts, kinda. Well I'm going to make a love thing for Hikaru and Lantis and Hikaru and Eagle, and Umi and Clef and Umi and Ascot. I don't know how it's going to work yet, but every chapter is going to be a different song, and I have all the songs picked out. All in all it's going to be about 21 chapters, my longest fanfiction ever. I hope you like it. feedback, as always, is appreciated.*

* "Dialogue"* = flashback

*Description* = flashback

Chapter One: Bells For Her

Hikaru smiled a weak smile, void of all emotion. She greeted her friends warm and fake.

"Umi-chan! Fuu-chan!"

"Hello Hikaru-San."

"Ohiyo, Hikaru," they both called in the same fake voice with the same plastic smile.

She looked over the slowly fading figures of her best friends. Umi, who had always been thin, was now disgustingly so. Her eyes were sunken and hollow. Her long blue hair was unkempt and where it had once fallen free it was now in a messy bun, put up lazily with fumbling fingers. Her eyes had lost their shine, and her smile had all but vanished. And Umi faired noticeably the best of the three.

Fuu had given up more than a chance of love, she had had it in her hands. They went home, and for a year enjoyed the company of their friends on the weekends, but then…the world stopped letting them in. She remembered it clearly. Clef had somehow contacted them; he looked weary from the effort. Lantis, Ferio, Eagle, Ascot, and all the others stood in the background; their faces were full of unspoken hurt.

"I'm sorry girls, but Mokona spoke once more. With the pillar system destroyed there is no need of you anymore. You will not be allowed to come to Cephiro again."

It took awhile for the information Clef gave them to sink in completely.

When it did, Hikaru's quiet innocence broke the silence, "But why would he do that to us?"

"Gomen nasai Hikaru," Clef was gentle, "that's just the way it has to be."

"Ferio," Fuu's small voice escaped her, and Ferio looked into her dazzling emerald eyes and held back tears.

"Fuu, I have to rule now. I would go to you if I could; you have to understand. Please, don't cry," he begged, but tears slipped anyway.

Umi stayed abnormally silent, not uttering a single word. She stayed strong for the other two a they said their goodbyes, and smiled softly at Ascot as he told her he'd miss her.*

And there she was, Fuu Hououji, Magic Knight of Wind, standing in the Tokyo Tower. Her body was small and frail. Her complexion was ghostly white from barely leaving the house. Her green school uniform hung loose around her withering frame.

Hikaru knew too, that the Fire inside herself was gone. Her body was slowly eating itself. She was too sad to eat, too weak to be happy. She had given up kendo shortly after their last message. Not even her brother's could cheer her, and they were left clueless to their sister's sudden depression. She tried to comfort her friends, but found herself being comforted more often. She knew they were hurting too. She remembered a conversation she'd held with Fuu just a few nights before.

* "I'm worried about Umi-chan," Hikaru confessed to her friend.

"I know," Fuu's voice was tired and scratchy from crying.

"She's just trying so hard to be strong; she never cries, not when we're around. She's holding it inside. What can we do?" Hikaru begged Fuu for answers she couldn't provide.

After a long silence Fuu answered, "Everyone heals in different ways."

And the conversation ended, because they both knew none of them were healing.*

Hikaru looked at her friends now and wondered, would they ever be happy again?

And through the life force

And there goes her friend

"We should have just stayed there," Hikaru muttered, and Umi smiled her gentle, encouraging smile.

"No we shouldn't have. Friends, family? Hikaru, this may not be forever. Maybe the little fluffball is just fuming because I tried to tie his ears together."

The joke was a weak attempt to bring a smile from them, which it did slightly. No one believed this wasn't forever; it had been almost two years.

On her Nishiki

It's out of time

Umi closed her eyes and forced them to reopen.

* "Umi…"

He had made one last struggle to reach her. She was by herself this time, staring at the Tokyo Tower from her window seat. With his Palu by his side, he tried to explain. "It wasn't my fault."

She nodded and wouldn't look at the image cast in front of her. She just kept her eyes on the Tower.

"You'll be okay?" Ascot asked meekly, and she nodded.

"That does not look convincing," Clef scolded harshly, and she turned to the image, no sign of weakness in her strong sapphire eyes.

"I will be fine, and the other two will get through it. I'll take care of them Clef, don't worry," she answered softly.

"That's not what I meant. Umi-I…"

"Go away Clef, go away and protect Cephiro as I will protect its protectors. Remember us though," her words were strong as she turned from the image once more. She wanted them to remember her as being strong, being unselfish.

"Umi, please…" Ascot and Clef said together.

"Both of you go away!" she screamed; she needed to be alone with her tears, and she didn't realize that she would never see them again. That hadn't sunk in yet, and it would haunt her forever.

"Goodbye, Umi-chan," Clef said softly, and the image faded.*

And through the portal they can make amends

Hey, would you say whatever?

The three moved close to each other, Fuu and Hikaru let tears fall as Umi hugged them closely, "It'll be okay," she promised. "I promise you, it'll be okay."

She looked into the heavens and prayed for them.

"There was nothing we could do," Hikaru offered.

"Nothing we could have done, we didn't know," Fuu chorused, and Umi nodded, holding them closer as they cried.

"Right, nothing we could have done," did she truly believe that? She could have told them to stay. She could have let them stay. She had no reason, but they did. She could have told them…she stopped. They couldn't have seen this coming, there was no way.

We're blanket friends

Can't stop what's coming

Can't stop what is on its way

Fuu looked at her friends and realized how much they had done. How much they had died. They had killed themselves from the inside.

Umi had once been energetic; she had attracted all the guys. She had been the picture-perfect model, perfect figure. She had been smart and funny; she had a bit of an attitude, an untouchable sort of personality, and it had vanished. She was no longer chased by the guys, her grades dropped; her attitude vanished. She made herself available to anyone who wanted her. She wasn't chased and untouchable, she was easy. She constantly searched for comfort, for warmth, and she was always cold as ice.

Hikaru had been bright and bubbly, a friend of everyone. She had been outgoing and loveable. She had been respected by teachers and students, and now she was none of these. Her grades had failed; she had dropped out of her higher classes. She had pulled into herself and suddenly she wasn't the bubbly, bright Hikaru everyone knew. She lost most of her friends; none of them could act normally around her. She stopped going out; she quit kendo. Her brothers rarely spoke to her, only a few bright words, but she would pull out of the conversation and retreat to solitude. They tried, but they couldn't know anymore than anyone else. The only ones who got close to her anymore were Umi and Fuu.

And Fuu herself, how did she fair? She had never been popular, but she had been recognized as the smart kid, the girl that was nice to all. If anyone spoke to her, for help on homework or questions on upcoming test material, she would smile brightly and answer them, try to help. If anyone asked anymore, she would shrug and hand them her homework, letting them copy. She had no values; she would never have cheated before, but now she could care less. Her grades were bad, so not many people used her homework anyway.

And through the walls they made their mud pies

Umi breathed deep and released her friends. She hated seeing them like this. Her best friends, bright, cheery Hikaru, was sad and alone. Smart, beautiful, energetic Fuu was gone from sight, replaced by a scrawny little thing with big glasses and an unattached gaze.

And even more she hated what she had become.

* "What the hell happened to her anyway?"

"She turned into something none of us recognize," a group of girls discussed her, and where she might have hung her head in shame before, she was completely calm. She walked past them with a sense of detachment.*

I've got your mind I said she said I've got your voice

*Where the guys would have whistled before, now they just walked past her and grabbed her small frame. She pushed away at first, but if the one who gripped her was bold enough to push forward she wouldn't object. She didn't care anymore. She didn't care because she had no life left anyway.*

I said you don't need my voice girl you have your own

And no matter what she did, how she gave herself, she never found warmth. She never found comfort, because they didn't truly care about her. All they cared about was being able to say that they were with her. And no one wanted that anymore; they just used her to anger girlfriends, or as a right of passage. She closed her eyes and wished that she hadn't turned down this road. It didn't really matter anymore though.

But you never thought it was enough of

But through it all she had Hikaru and Fuu and now she looked at them with love that only tragedy could bring. She wanted them to realize how much they meant to her, and her eyes showed it. There was no one in the world more important to her than those two. They were her light in the dark.

So they went

Years and years

Like sisters

Blanket girls

"Umi-chan, Fuu-chan," Hikaru began; her eyes welled with tears that she held back. She rarely smiled anymore, and they missed her bright attitude.

"Yes Hikaru-san?" Fuu tried to force her tears away.

"Aishiteru," Hikaru whispered and hugged them each tightly. "I don't know what I would have done without you. You've helped me through this, and I know that everything isn't better, but it's a year and a half today, shouldn't we just forget?"

Fuu's eyes blazed, and Hikaru withdrew the suggestion.

"No, Hikaru, never forget," Umi said softly. "Just, let go."

Always there through that and this

There's nothing we cannot ever fix I said

Can't stop what's coming

Can't stop what is on its way

As they walked from the Tower the three girls close together, a boy passed Umi and nodded at her, smiling wickedly. Umi turned her head and looked down, Fuu and Hikaru scowled at him, and he withdrew.

"You don't have to defend me," Umi muttered.

Bells and footfalls and soldiers and dolls

Brothers and lovers she and I were

As they walked to Umi's house first, her current 'boyfriend' was waiting outside. She said a meek goodbye to them and walked close to him.

"Hey," she mumbled, and he glared at her fiercely, and threw his fist against her jaw.

"You weren't here; you said you'd be here," he growled, and where Umi would have killed him before, she let him destroy her.


Hikaru leapt out of her skin; her anger was so intense. She ran toward the boy, but Umi stopped her.

"Ja ne Hikaru," Umi said softly and led him inside to the dismay of her parents who didn't think this was acceptable behavior out of their daughter.

Hikaru tried to follow Umi, but the door shut softly in her face.

Fuu took her arm gently and led her away, "She makes her own decisions."

Now she seems to be sand under his shoes

There's nothing I can do

Can't stop what's coming

Can't stop what is on its way

"Hey Umi, you okay?" Hikaru's voice was gentle in their three-way conversation late that night when Fuu had called Umi and Umi had called Hikaru.

"Yeah, fine," Umi responded, trying to put false cheeriness in her voice.

"Umi, you don't have to take that from anyone," Fuu protested, and Umi stopped her.

"What are you talking about?"

They let it go; it was her way anymore. None of them had strength to fight one another.

They hated seeing her die slowly like this, but somewhere they knew that she would have it no other way. She was never weak.

And now I speak to you

Are you in there?

This was not the Hikaru she had grown to love. The Hikaru she loved would protest, no matter what. The Hikaru she loved would practice kendo and fencing. The Hikaru she knew would never cry. The Hikaru she knew would not let anything stop her from being happy. What had happened to her?

You have her face

And of Fuu? Where was she? The bright girl with the good grades and loving personality. She was so trusting and nurturing. She would help anyone who asked, no matter who they were. And now she found herself hearing Fuu say things like, "It's not in our hands. We can't help it. There's nothing we can do."

These were not the friends she knew.

And her eyes but you are not her

"Just let it go," Hikaru repeated softly to herself when she felt tears come again.

"Exactly," Umi replied.

"You haven't let it go very well," Fuu snapped at Umi, getting hostile. Nothing before could get to Fuu, she had amazing patience. Where was it now? Her anger consumed her now, but not at Umi, never at Umi. She was angry with the world, with Cephiro. She was angry with herself, and she took it out on them, that was okay. They all vented on each other.

And we go at each other

Like blank ettes who can't find their thread and their bare

But what other choice did they have? Without each other they wouldn't have survived this long. They used each other for comfort and warmth; they had no other option. They would keep on living this torturous life until they were too tired to keep on living.

Can't stop loving

Can't stop what is on its way

And I see it coming

And it's on its way…

*Dum dum dum…what do you think? R&R S'il vous plaît! Merci beaucoup!*