Crosspost from AO3. Written to Ghostwriter - RJD2.

"You mean to tell me you Midgardians find it erotic to distract someone while they are doing important work using sexual devices?" Thor asked, arching an eyebrow at Natasha, who just shrugged and rifled through a selection of brightly coloured plastic packages that advertised something she'd called a "vibrator."

They came in all shapes and sizes and colours, and Natasha told Thor that they all advertised different settings too. Some of them came with wires that you had to tape onto the person's thigh, she explained, but sometimes the tape tended to irritate the skin, of course, the skin of people's inner thighs is very sensitive, she continued. Thor nodded furiously, remembering how Loki's milky inner thighs were often guilty of holding blue and purple bruises from the tiniest of bites, no matter how much he'd soothed the skin afterwards with long, tender licks that had shivers running up his brother's spine.

And there were remote controlled ones, Natasha continued, holding one up to show him. The vibrator in question came with a small device that had a few buttons on its front and looked vaguely like one of the musical devices Anthony had showed him the other day (he hadn't been at all pleased when Thor had thrown it on the ground and shouted for "Another!" so delighted was he by Midgardian technology, he usually forgot it was rather fragile; this fact was further proved when the tiny silvery device's screen cracked almost in half).

"It has different settings," Natasha added. "The settings can vary from short, intense pulses, to long, deep ones, or you can usually press a button to make the rhythm erratic, you know, so they don't get used to it."

"Pardon me, Lady Natasha," Thor said, looking at the package in his hands, "What would be pulsing, exactly?"

"This, silly," she said, tapping one neatly manicured nail on the package. "You stick this part" - she indicated a phallic device much like the ones Tony enjoyed watching in his porns - "up Loki's ass, you see, and then you'll take the remote" - she indicated the square plastic thing with buttons on it this time - "and press some buttons. The vibrator, the part inside Loki, will...well, vibrate, so it'll shake and move around, and he'll really like that."

"I see," Thor said, turning the package over speculatively and wondering how pressing buttons on the remote would cause anything to happen.

"The two things talk to each other using some sort of electromagnetic waves or something," Natasha said, waving her hand dismissively. "I don't really know what that means, that's something Tony would know about. Or maybe Bruce. Anyway, basically all you need to know is that it'll make Loki feel very, very good. I guarantee you he'll love it."

Natasha picked up a vibrator with some sort of animal part dangling off the end. Thor just stared at it, wondering if Midgardians were really so savage as to attach their kills to the end of sexual devices. Natasha caught his unsure glance at the package in her hands. "Oh, don't worry, Thor. It's for Clint, not me. I'm afraid he's been a rather bad kitty."

Thor was bemused. Clint Barton was most definitely a human male, from the last time he'd inadvertently glanced over in the male showers at the Tower. He certainly wasn't a member of any feline species, but he supposed it was some odd Midgardian thing and decided not to question Natasha any further about the matter.

Instead Thor turned back to the rows of plastic packages in front of him, and looked for something Loki might like. He finally settled on a deep green product that looked to be a little bit smaller than his own cock. The packaging proclaimed that it had five different settings, each varying in speed and intensity; the surface of the product was apparently ribbed (Thor had absolutely no idea what that meant, but it was apparently for Loki's pleasure, so that was always good), and that the remote and device could communicate at distances of up to 50 feet ("No wires required!" the package seemed to shout at him).

He turned to Natasha for approval. She looked at it, scanned the details, and then handed it back to Thor with a nod of approval.

"Remind me we'll need to stop for batteries on the way home," she said in a nonchalant voice as she turned to a rather frightening selection of whips and flogs. "If I know the two of you at all, you'll be needing a lot of them."

A few days later, on a quiet Saturday night, Natasha told Thor she would show him how one was supposed to use the vibrator in question. Tony and Bruce were cooped up in the laboratory downstairs, finishing and fine-tuning Bruce's mini quantum particle accelerator that so far had only been successful in sending precisely three of Pepper's shoes, a cat, and Nick Fury's eyepatch into tiny black holes that disappeared immediately afterwards. Steve was off somewhere, probably helping old ladies across the dangerous streets of Manhattan. And Clint, well, Clint was...

Thor's eyes widened and his mouth went dry as Natasha opened the door to her room.

Clint lay on Natasha's bed, mussing up the black silk sheets with his rapid movements. His wrists were handcuffed to the iron bedposts, and Thor could see the strain in his arms as he tugged against them desperately. A black blindfold was wrapped tightly around his head, blocking off his eyesight completely. A similar black cloth was wrapped around his mouth, and Thor could only hear muffled grunts from behind it. Thor could just barely make out the rounded end of something white in Clint's right ear, and he presumed it was something used to deafen him. Sweat coated his body in a faint, silvery shine that was only accentuated by the dim lighting of the room. Thor watched in fascination as the muscles of Clint's chest and abdomen contracted and relaxed in spasms of activity.

As his eyes swept down Clint's body, he soon became aware of the metallic ring wrapped around the base of Clint's cock, which was a worrisome crimson colour. Clint's hips were bucking up frantically; each useless thrust into air had the bushy cat's tail that appeared to sprout from between his legs waving and curling and coiling.

Thor stared at Natasha, who was only smiling at Clint. "He's lovely like this," she said simply, closing the bedroom door behind them.

Thor had never thought of Clint as a particularly sexual being, but watching his colleague writhe around on the sheets with an expression of pained pleasure on his face convinced him otherwise. Natasha looked at Clint for a few moments before turning to Thor with a bright smile on her face. "Let's get started, shall we?"

"Er, Lady Natasha," Thor said, seemingly unable to tear his eyes away from the metallic gleam at the base of Clint's erection, "shouldn't you be removing that ring? It doesn't seem particularly healthy, I'm not sure that it's supposed to be so red..."

Natasha laughed. "Oh, don't worry about that, he likes it, and it's safe enough, we've done it before," she said with an air of confidence. "It helps keep him on the brink of orgasm until I'm ready to have him." Thor still looked rather dubious about the whole thing, but vaguely remembered Loki clamping his hand down around his erection violently and figured this was something like that. He nodded unsurely.

Natasha walked over to her nightstand, ignoring Clint's frantic motions on her bed. She returned with a small remote much like the one in the packaging that Thor had purchased for Loki. She placed it in Thor's hand and looked at him expectantly.

"Go on, press a button," she said. "Press any one, and watch him."

Thor looked the buttons over carefully - of course there wasn't any writing on there - and finally settled on number 3. He pressed it cautiously, and then his gaze shot back up to Clint, who had let out a howl behind his gag and tensed roughly, his motions slowing suddenly. Clint's erection was twitching in its confines, and Thor remembered Loki's doing the same thing, helpless, wanton...

"Did he just -?" he asked, looking at Natasha in disbelief. Natasha only laughed and nodded.

"Trust me, Thor," she said, grinning as Thor placed the remote back in her hands, "Loki will love it."

And looking at Clint sobbing and twitching helplessly on the bed, his hips still thrusting skyward, Thor couldn't help but nod his head dazedly in agreement.

As he was about to leave the room, Natasha called over her shoulder, "Oh and remember the batteries, Thor. We got you a 24-pack, so that should be enough...or so I hope."

Loki had just flopped bonelessly, gracelessly onto the bed beside Thor, his breath coming in soft little shudders, when Thor remembered the vibrator. Murmuring soft promises to return soon and evading the weak clutches of Loki's grasping fingers, Thor walked over to his armoire and flung the heavy wooden doors open, searching for the package he'd managed to hide in his robes. Heimdall had eyed him suspiciously as he trotted out the gate, and Thor had the sudden crazy idea that Heimdall was the Asgardian equivalent of what Anthony called the TSA (which, as Thor understood it, was an organisation for people with X-ray vision so they could see if you were carrying weapons or drugs or something of the sort).

Thor pulled out the dark emerald vibrator and quickly ripped the packaging open, letting the plastic and cardboard fall to the floor in scraps. He opened the packet of batteries much the same way, taking care not to spill all the little cylinders onto the floor in his haste. He inserted four AA batteries into the compartment, and snapped it shut quickly. Loki was starting to mutter and whimper for Thor to 'come back to bed, I'm getting cold...', and Thor turned back to his brother, a positively devious idea forming in his head.

"Shh, darling, almost, almost," he reassured his brother's prone form as he slicked up the surface of the vibrator with some oil he and Loki hadn't gotten around to using that evening. "Just be good for me, you can do that, right?" Loki mumbled a muffled assent into the pillows, and Thor gently rolled his brother onto his stomach as he climbed up onto the mattress. Loki sighed and stretched out underneath him, and Thor reveled in the beauty of the lines of Loki's muscles pulling underneath his creamy skin.

Thor pressed kisses into the knobs of Loki's spine, moving downwards. Loki moaned softly into the pillows, and Thor grinned as he worried the soft skin in the small of Loki's back.

"Thor, what are you doing?" Loki asked, his voice heavy with sleepiness. Thor didn't respond as he gently pulled Loki's cheeks apart to examine the rosy, slightly puffy hole inside, which was coated in a slight film of Thor's seed.

"Hey, Thor, stop it, I'm too tired to go again," Loki whimpered, but his pleas were lost on deaf ears as Thor bent his head down and pressed his tongue tentatively against the small furled muscle, which twitched underneath his ministrations.

Loki shuddered and gasped as Thor licked burning stripes across his entrance with the flat of his tongue, occasionally pulling back to bite kisses into Loki's flesh before pointing his tongue and breaching Loki without much resistance. Against his better wishes, Loki found himself growing hard and wanton.

"Thor," he whined, "please..."

"Please what?" Thor asked, his voice muffled through Loki's skin, and Loki shivered at the feeling of Thor's warm breath ghosting across his most private regions.

"Don't make me beg," he said, turning his head sideways to pout down at his brother, who only grinned back up at him. From this angle, Loki couldn't see the vibrator that Thor held pressed down to the mattress with one hand. "I just want to sleep. I want to get a lot of things done tomorrow, so I'll be very busy."

"Is that right?" Thor asked without curiosity as he dipped his head back down and continued to massage Loki's entrance with his tongue. Loki shuddered and his hips started moving of their own accord, pressing back into Thor's mouth, forwards into the mattress, back, forth, back, forth -

Until Thor pressed the tip of something much larger and somewhat colder against him. Loki jumped, with a gasp of surprise. "What is that?" he asked, straining to see, but the angle and the dim lighting didn't help matters any. "What are you doing?" he repeated.

"Shh," Thor murmured against Loki's inner thigh. "Shh, you will like it."

Loki frowned and pouted, but his brother wouldn't tell him anything and instead insistently pressed the thing - whatever it was, but oh, it had ridges and bumps that sent shivers up Loki's spine so yes, yes, he did like it very much - until Loki could once again feel the warmth of Thor's fingers against his skin.

"There, all finished," Thor said cheerfully, pulling his body up and flopping down next to Loki. He grinned at Loki's half-perplexed, half-aroused look. "Best to go to sleep now, brother, you have a long day tomorrow."

Loki looked down at his erection, which was jutting from a damp patch of dark curls. "You're not going to finish me?" he asked, irritation clouding his voice.

Thor only smiled innocently at him. "Not until you say the magic word, sweet."

Loki sighed with exasperation and one of his hands darted down to wrap around his cock and finish himself off, but Thor caught his thin wrist easily in one of his own large hands and pinned it down next to his head. "Surely it can't be that hard to ask for what you need, Loki?" he asked with a mischievous grin.

Loki struggled, but Thor's tight grip was strong and sure, and no amount of wriggling, bribing, or pouting was getting him out of this. When Thor showed absolutely no signs of relenting, Loki sighed with an air of one who has long given up. "Please, Thor."

Thor grinned and slid down Loki's body until his mouth was hovering right above the tip. Loki closed his eyes, luxuriating in the warmth of Thor's breath. When Thor didn't move down, however, Loki opened his eyes and glared at Thor.

"This time, with feeling," Thor said, smiling wickedly as his tongue darted out and licked a circle around the weeping head of Loki's erection. Loki shuddered and arched against the mattress, trying to buck up, but Thor's hands held his hips down. Thor's tongue continued doing that absolutely wicked thing, drawing lazy circles around the tip of Loki's cock, and Loki finally, finally ground his teeth and in absolute frustration sobbed out "Please, Thor, please, I'm begging you, please just suck me already," and Thor dipped down with a grin and swallowed Loki down.

The next morning, Loki sat up and felt an unusual feeling of fullness in his abdomen. His fingers went searching down until they hit the base of the plastic thing Thor had so carelessly shoved up him last night, and he frowned as he pulled it out and examined it more closely.

The plastic was warm to the touch, probably because it had been in him all night as he slept, and upon closer inspection did appear to have several ridges and bumps. Loki had absolutely no idea what it was, but he really did like the colour.

Thor popped his head out from the bath, his wet hair curling loosely about his face. He frowned at Loki, who just held the...thing up with an arched eyebrow and a skeptical expression.

"Brother, please put that back in," Thor said, and even though he'd said please it was still a demand.

"Or you'll do what?" Loki asked snarkily. "Spank me?"

"I was going to say I would tell Mother who'd mischievously edited one of her spellbooks so that you could magick nothing but apples into three-headed mice," Thor said, looking at Loki pointedly. "You happen to enjoy spanking, so that wouldn't be much of a punishment, would it now?"

Loki flushed. "You wouldn't dare."

"On the contrary, my dear Loki, I would dare. And you know how upset Mother gets when anyone's been tampering with her darling books."

Loki glared angrily at him, but to Thor's great delight, Loki carefully rotated the device and pressed it back into himself, moaning softly and closing his eyes as it settled into an absolutely delicious position with all of its ridges and bumps hitting his prostate along the way.

Loki was hard pressed not to shudder and arch his hips up into the underside of the table as he sat down for breakfast with Thor, Frigga, and Odin. Sitting down only drove the device further up into him, pressing insistently against that lovely bundle of nerves, and Loki swore he could count each individual bump and ridge and nub as they rubbed up against his insides.

Thor grinned as he sat down across from him and helped himself to a generous portion of porridge and fruit. Odin looked relatively grumpy as always, and Frigga smiled kindly and asked Loki if he had a fever, he looked rather flushed.

Loki shook his head no, and tried to school his expression into neutral boredom as he lifted a warm honeycake to his mouth.

Underneath the table, Thor's fingers fiddled with the remote, and right as Loki took a bite of the pastry, he pressed a button at random.

Loki choked on the mouthful of pastry. Pleasure shot up his spine as the thing inside him shook and vibrated rapidly, the tip rubbing insistently against his prostate, and it was all Loki could do just to clutch the edge of the table with a white knuckled grip and not scream. Frigga looked at him with concern: "Are you really sure you're quite all right, darling?" and Odin just looked over at him grumpily and told him that it really didn't befit a prince of Asgard to be choking on honeycakes, he wasn't two years old anymore.

Thor flicked the remote to its off position, and Loki relaxed slightly in front of him, still gasping for air as he continued to cough up specks of pastry. Loki glared at him across the table, and Thor only smiled innocently and continued to eat his porridge.

Idunn had asked the two princes if they might be able to help with her apple harvest. Normally, Loki would have jumped at the chance; the fabled gardens of Idunn were home not only to her golden apples but to a whole host of exotic and lovely plants. However, the insistent vibrations and incessant prods of his prostate were making it very difficult to even stand up straight, let alone walk around and climb trees and pluck ripe apples.

"I hate you," Loki hissed the instant Idunn left the gardens for Story Time, which she led with Frigga to a group of Asgardian toddlers. "I absolutely despise you."

Thor laughed and pressed a kiss to the back of Loki's hand, which was trembling. "You love me."

"I do not," Loki protested vehemently, but in the next instant as Thor pressed another button on the remote, Loki was leaning heavily against a tree, sobbing silently as his hips arched up desperately, a blush blossoming on his cheeks, his eyes closed and his mouth quivering. Loki's fingers scrabbled desperately at the tree's bark, and his basket of apples plunked to the ground, the fruit rolling in every direction as Loki bit at his lower lip, trying not to cry out.

As Loki's thrusts became more and more erratic, Thor could hear the breath catching in his brother's throat, could hear the choked off sobs that were growing louder by the second. With a positively wicked grin that Loki didn't see, Thor flicked the device off.

Loki's green eyes shot open, clouded with lust and disbelief and anger. "Why did you stop?" he snarled.

"We have to finish the apple picking," Thor said, rather logically, which infuriated Loki to no end. "You've dropped quite a lot, we'd better pick those up before Idunn comes back and sees her fruit all over the ground."

Loki at that moment would have liked nothing better than to magick himself an axe and chop all the trees in this godforsaken garden down, but, with another glare at Thor, he bent down awkwardly, closing his eyes and whimpering under his breath as the vibrator nudged against his prostate again as he proceeded to pick up the apples he'd dropped.

Loki's glare persisted all the way through to dinnertime. Frigga frowned at her younger son, her gaze skipping from Thor to Loki and back to Thor. She was certain that Thor was teasing Loki somehow, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what was going on.

"Loki, sweetie, you'll get wrinkles if you keep frowning at Thor like that," Frigga said worriedly. Thor looked the picture of innocence, all cheery and happy, and Frigga just rolled her eyes in exasperation. Definitely teasing.

Loki had been on edge all day, his cock hard in his trousers, and for once he was grateful that the fabric was relatively tight to his skin and could easily be covered up by his coat. The tiny sparks of pleasure had made their slow winding ways up to his eyes, and he saw everything in a cloud of hazy lust and want and need. He was itching to drag himself away from the table and hurriedly go to his chambers to finish himself off, but he doubted he'd be able to manage his way out of the dining hall. The vibrator shifted against his prostate with every step and left him breathless and leaky and aching, and surely Thor must know all of this, he had that infuriating grin on his face and Loki wanted nothing more than to drag that insolent smiling mouth down onto his cock and thrust and thrust and thrust

"Loki, dear, you really should eat more." Frigga's admonishing tone broke Loki from his internal monologue. "You're far too thin as it is."

"Mother's right, Loki," Thor adds, smiling innocently over the table at his brother. "You really are too thin. I think you ought to eat everything on your plate, otherwise you won't grow up to be a big strong warrior like me."

Loki rolled his eyes, but started shoveling meat and vegetables into his mouth at an astonishing pace that even Volstagg would have been impressed by. Frigga looked at her sons and sighed. Odin, as was customary, had drunk himself into a half-dazed stupor and only smiled at her stupidly.

Loki barely tasted anything as he crammed the food into his mouth and swallowed, hardly bothering to chew. He tensed as Thor flicked the vibrator back on and the device whirred gently to life underneath his garments, rubbing up against that delicious bundle of nerves buried deep inside him. A flush grew on Loki's cheeks, and he forced himself to keep eating; the food helped muffle the sounds of the choked off moans he could no longer seem to silence.

By the time dessert rolled around and the kitchen maids had set down a pie in front of them, Loki was bouncing up and down in his seat, a feverish glint in his eye. The vibrator pressed up, hard, deep, against Loki's prostate every time he subtly rolled his hips down, and he was past the point of caring what his face looked like. As Frigga turned to talk to her husband, who was by now garbling something about a turkey and a sceptre at her, Loki looked at Thor desperately, mouthing the word 'Please' across the table at him.

Thor's hand searched underneath the table, finding Loki's and gently intertwining his fingers with his brother's. He flicked up the speed and intensity on the vibrator, reveling in the choked gasp Loki made and the tight squeeze of his brother's knuckles against his own. Loki squeezed his eyes shut, tears forming in the corners, as he rocked down, harder, harder, harder, and Thor gently brushed his thumb over the back of Loki's hand as Loki tensed roughly, biting into his lip hard enough to draw blood, and then -

Thor was met with a faceful of cream and fruit from the pie, which had catapulted across the table directly into his face with a few green and red sparks. Loki's hips were bucking up desperately underneath the table as he came, sobbing into his mouthful of apple pie as he stained the insides of his undergarments. The pleasure wound itself tightly up his spine and snapped sparks through his entire body, traveling from his fingertips in small bursts of magic, something he was usually rather good at controlling, but this time was different, he'd been repressed for far too long and oh God there was pie in Thor's face and he just looked so silly and oh god oh god oh god

Loki's hips gradually shuddered to a stop as Thor flicked off the vibrator, and he slumped down into his plate. Frigga just stared in shock at her younger son, and Thor shrugged at her, scrubbing off the pie from his face and beard.

"Mother, it appears Loki is indeed sick," he said, standing up and depositing his soiled napkin on the plate. "I believe I'll see him to the healing ward now."

"Yes, of course," Frigga agreed, looking bemusedly at the two of them as Odin laughed heartily at some joke Sif had made. She continued staring at them as Thor hurriedly tossed Loki over his shoulder and quickly departed from the hall.

Half an hour later, Loki came to, surrounded by his soft, silky bedsheets. The vibrator wasn't inside him anymore, and he'd been undressed and cleaned. Of course, none of this stopped him from glaring viciously at Thor, who'd just returned from the bath with the now-clean vibrator in his hand.

"You are a demon," Loki hissed, and Thor was unsure whether Loki was referring to him or to the toy he held in his hand.

Thor tutted, setting the vibrator down on the nightstand. "It's not good to call names, sweet brother," he said with a few tsks. Loki just frowned at him. "Bad children need to be punished or they'll never learn."

Thor climbed up onto the bed, smirking at Loki. Loki, to his vast dismay, found tingles of arousal sparking through him at the look in Thor's eyes.

Thor leaned close enough for his breath to ghost over Loki's mouth before whispering, "Perhaps it's high time for that spanking now, hm?"

Loki shivered.