Pairings: Bella/Jake, Bella/Embry, Bella/Quil, Bella/Embry/Jake, Bella/Seth/Mystery Wolf (Naughty Bella. ;))

Epilogue: Bella/Final Pairing

A/N: Remember kiddies, werewolves may not get the clap or spread it to horny wolf pack groupies, but you could. Safe sex—always! Don't be silly, wrap your willy!

Pre-reader: meliz875 (Where there be Embry smut, there be Mel.)

She offered up a suggestion as recommended listening for this chapter; "Gorilla" by Bruno Mars. ;)

Timeline: Post-New Moon, no cliff-jump, the Cullens never returned.

Warning: Lemons ahead! Ye be warned! This one is rated M for a reason!

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Part I: Best Friends With Benefits, No More, No Less

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It was Embry's turn to babysit her.

Ugh. She hated that term, babysit. Like she was a misbehaving toddler who needed someone to keep her from putting strange things in her mouth.

Jake would have pulled all-day babysitting duty on any other day of winter break gladly, but he had to run up to Harvey's U-Pull-It in Port A to get parts for her ailing truck. She wouldn't have minded spending the day with Jake. He was much easier company now that they had well and truly settled into their roles as only best friends. Victoria had been after her for the better part of the past year and Jake had been just as persistent.

Bella had done her best, even given Jake a chance and taken a swing at dating, but whatever needed to be there just wasn't at the momentfor either of them. It didn't prevent them from fumbling through a very awkward first time together on the sagging couch in his garage, though. He came too quickly and she, not at all. They ended up sweaty and laughing, wrestling naked until Quil and Embry had walked in on them, still naked and wrapped up in each other under a blanket, clothes strewn all over the garage, arguing over which movie saga was betterthe Indiana Jones trilogy or the Star Trek Next Generation movie series.

Bella thought Jean Luc Picard was kind of hot for an old guy.

Jake told her with a smirk that he wasn't surprised that she thought the old guy was hot.

Her hand shot out to cuff him upside the head and she bounced in his lap, her taut, rosy nipples brushing his sweat-slicked chest. He gripped her hips to keep her from sliding off, pulling her close, and slipped right into her wet heat again, no fumbling necessary. They might have gotten it right that time if Quil and Embry hadn't had the world's worst timing.

"Yo, Jake!"

Bella yelped and clutched the blanket tighter, effectively squeezing Jake inside her. He came again abruptly, groaning into her throat in equal parts relief and frustration.

Wide-eyed, Quil and Embry beat a hasty retreat, mumbling apologies and backing away as quickly as possible.

Bella relaxed and Jake slid out of her. He leaned his forehead against hers, "Are we ever going to get this right?"

"Honestly?" she laughed a little, rubbing her nose against his. "I was born clumsy and you're a horny, undersexed sixteen year old wolf-man-boy. I think this might be the best we can hope for right now."

They'd done it quite a few times since and they were both improving with practice, but it had more to do with whiling away a boring afternoon than it did any burgeoning romantic feelings between them. They were just a little too comfortable with each other and they both thought that real romance required a certain sexual tension and anticipation that they lacked.

She felt more like Jake's sex training wheels than anything else.

His idea of foreplay was clicking off the TV and putting down the remote before he started in with, "There's nothing on TV. Let's go take a shower. I wanna show you something I picked out of Paul's brain when we were phased together the other day after his date with the twins."

"Oh, yeah? Twins? I guess you will have to show me because I just can't imagine." She'd climbed onto his lap to straddle his waist and licked at his lips tauntingly while he pulled her shirt over her head.

It ended up being her favorite shower ever.

She wondered, though, how Paul had managed that with twins.

She thought she might pay money to see that.

She and Jake were exactly what they told everyone they werebest friends. They just failed to mention the awesome 'benefits' partand make no mistake, it was good. Eventually.

Jake was a quick study in all things, but it was never going to be more than just sex and they eventually decided they were both okay with that. They even tried to set each other up on blind dates with friends, but nothing ever really came of it. They'd grown complacent with one another.

Bella hoped Jake would imprint one day, hopefully before she went to college. She would worry less when she left, but she wasn't going anywhere any time soon. The pack couldn't protect her as easily if she went to school because there weren't any great options near the rez. Her life was on hold while a psychotic vampire spent every moment of every day contemplating, planning, or trying to kill her.

So here she sat with Embry at his house on a chilly winter afternoon in late December, with nothing to do and no chance of getting laid anytime soon, with her best friend and occasional fuck buddy, Jake, all the way up in Port A for the day.

Embry had no idea what to do with her. The rest of the pack had become accustomed to Jake pulling Bella duty whenever he was available, so she didn't spend as much time with the others, especially Quil and Embry. They could hardly look her in the eye after walking in on her and Jake, no matter how many times Jake tried to explain that they were just friends.

She thought about her conversation earlier that week with Jake …

"Bells, I was just phased with Jared and he showed me this awesome massage thing he and Kim tried. Take your clothes off so I can show you."

Bella sighed, "Jake, you know I'm game to try anything once, but it's weird that you keep picking through your brothers' brains for tips."

"I didn't hear you complaining after the Paul-inspired shower," he leered.

"No … but … listen, if you spend all your time with me, how will you ever meet a girl? Or, more specifically, your imprint? Someone who will mind if you talk about oil changes mid-coitus? Seriously, girls are going to expect a bit more focus and intensity. It's not all just fun and games and clandestine blowjobs while you try to keep a straight face and carry on a conversation on the phone with your Alpha."

Jake chuckled, remembering that call with the esteemed older Alpha. Sam had accused him of smoking dope with Old Quil and not taking any damn thing in life seriously.

"Bells …" he whined. "How will I improve my technique without practice? You're providing a much-needed service here. My future girlfriend will appreciate all the work you've put into me."

"Have you even met another girl in the last six months?"

"Leah Clearwater," he said without hesitation.

"A girl who hasn't phased and joined the pack?"

"No … but-"

"You know what? You should ask her out."

"Who?"

"Leah Clearwater."

"She'll bite my face off."

"You heal fast."

"I could never have sex with her."

"Why not?" she demanded.

"I'd be terrified the whole time. One wrong word and she'd rip my dick off."

"You'll grow one back."

"We heal. We don't regenerate, Bells," he rolled his eyes.

"Hmm … shame," she said contemplatively. "If you did regenerate, do you think it would grow back even bigger?"

"Bigger? Bells, I'm the biggest in the pack as it is. How big do you want it?" he asked incredulously.

She hummed appreciatively. He was exceptionally large. Then she clued in to the rest of what he said, "Wait a second, how do you know you're the biggest?"

"I'm supposed to be Alpha someday. I'm the biggest, baddest, fastest, and strongest wolf. The Alpha is always the best at everythingand the biggest."

"Oh, really? That's the kind of claim that can't go unverified, Jacob. Inquiring minds, you know," Bella smirked, leveling a challenging look at her best friend.

Jake got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that Bells was either about to do something really stupid or something he would come to regret because of his idiotic teenage need to brag about whose cock swings the lowest. He was sure it was his, but still…

She and Embry sat at opposite ends of the couch. He stared at his hands in his lap while she watched him and wondered how she could find out just how big Embry was without being rude or sounding like a werewolf groupie. She got up slowly and moved as stealthily as she couldcloser to his end of the long sofa, but being Bella, there was no such thing as stealthy. She took two steps and tripped, falling, arms wheeling wildly. She closed her eyes and held her breath, bracing herself for the inevitable impact.

It never came. Hot arms tightened around her and she popped one eye open in curiosity as she remarked incredulously, "I'm not on the floor."

Embry chuckled and shifted his grip to cradle her more carefully, "No."

"Thanks, Emb." She grinned. "You were supposed to have the easy gig today, you know. No vampires. Thanks for catching me. I'd rather spend the day here than in the hospital with another concussion."

He snorted and started to loosen his hold as he sat on the couch with her in his arms.

She stilled his movement with a tiny, cool hand on his forearm, "Don't! Please? I'm cold, always cold." She shivered. "You're so warm and I can't get hurt again if I stay right here for a few minutes, right? Less work for you, what with trying to keep me alive and saving me from myself all the time." She kept the easy smile on her face, hoping he'd return it and relax a little.

He watched her curiously as she closed her eyes and turned into his warmth for a snuggle. She knew she'd be welcome. None of the wolves would deny her their heat. They knew she was terminally cold from long term vampire exposure. Even Paul had been known to wrap his arms around her to share his warmth at a bonfire from time to time when Jake was on patrol. She may not be an imprint, but she was definitely sister, friend, pack.

She ran her fingers lightly up and down the firm, corded muscles of Embry's thick, bronze arms. He smelled so good, like butterscotch and that savory, salty musk all men seem to have.

Embry shifted a little uneasily under her head, her pheromones invading his senses, creeping like a thief in the night past all his best intentions. He could lie to his brothers, but he couldn't lie to himself. He wanted Bella Swan. He loved how tiny and feminine she wasall pale pink skin and rosy blushes with that waterfall of mahogany hair that he wanted to bury his face in.

He wrestled with his own inner demons. He knew for certain she had some kind of intimate relationship with Jake. The two of them swore up, down, and sideways that they were just best friends. Embry and Jake were best friends, though, and he'd never ridden Jake to a screaming finish on that ugly, old couch in his garage.

Jake and Bella could think they were being discreet all they wanted, but Bella was a wailer and Jake's wolf had a tendency to growl when he fucked her and roar when he finished. They'd be hard-pressed to find someone left on the rez who didn't know they were fucking like wild monkeys every chance they got. Billy turned an amused, blind eye to it, but the pack hadn't really figured out how to ignore it yet. Jake was always wrapped in a thick cloud of her lingering lust these days. He could shower and brush his teeth all he wanted, but he exuded Eu de Swan Kitty twenty-four hours a day lately.

It was a scent Embry and his wolf wouldn't mind wearing themselves. He considered the reasons for that carefully. Did he want Bella because Jake was supposed to be Alpha? Did his wolf just want to pee where the top dog had? Sam was imprinted. There was no competition for mates from that quarter of the pack. Jared might as well be a eunuch as far as teenage girls besides Kim were concerned.

Paul would always have a roving eye. Fortunately for him, his imprint didn't spend much time at home on the rez and didn't mind if he fucked other girls, as long as they weren't her friendswhich immediately unticked Paul's 'lay Bella' box. Rachel had made her wishes clear and the imprint bond was strong enough to keep Paul from straying into those particularly dangerous waters. He should really be grateful that his imprint was smart enough to keep him from shitting where he ate. He'd had far fewer angry fathers and husbands with shotguns on his doorstep since he'd imprinted.

Quil was a little different. He had imprinted on a baby. He was firmly and permanently 'Uncle Quil' in little Claire Young's eyes. Embry wasn't sure if he pitied him or envied him. On the one hand, he'd never have the deep spiritual, sensual connection with his imprint that Jared and Sam had. On the other hand, he could fuck anything that said 'yes' that caught his attention and never feel a moment's remorse for the rest of his life. The imprint left him with no driving need to find a lifelong mate. He ended up with a sex drive that matched his un-imprinted brothers' needs. He was just another horny teenager in the body of a much older, hotter guy.

He was startled out of his musings by Bella's little elbow nudging his leg, "Stop."

"Stop what?" he was lost. What had he been doing that she could object to?

"Stop thinking so loud. Stretch out with me and lay down. The snow is supposed to start soon. Let's have a nap," she suggested.

"I can't. I'm on duty. What if Victoria breaks through the line and shows up here while you and I are asleep?"

"Then don't sleep. Just lay down with me. I want to talk to you about something anyway." She tugged on his shirt sleeve, noticing for the first time that he was wearing a shirt for once. She looked at it like it was a foreign object that she couldn't place or name.

Embry laughed, "Mom still doesn't know. I had to keep up pretenses this morning when she was packing for her trip up home to the Makah rez to visit her sisters for the week, which means wearing a shirt."

"Your mom went without you?"

"I have patrol, responsibilities here. Billy told her a little white lie for me. She knows I work for the tribal council. She thinks I work at the tribal center, as the tribal historian's intern. She's been very impressed by that because I'm half-Makah. She thinks it's a sign that the tribe is finally accepting me."

"Little does she know just how much a part of the tribe you really are…" Bella mused a little sadly. "Come, lay with me. Stop thinking deep thoughts. I have a question for you."

Embry lifted Bella like she weighed no more than a kitten, rearranging her in his arms and laying back down on the couch with his head propped up on the arm at one end and his feet dangling off the opposite end. Bella settled in beside him, front-to-front, and laid her head on his bent arm, settling in for a cozy chat.

He brushed a strand of hair off her forehead. She closed her eyes, shiveringjust a littleat his tender touch. He apologized, "Sorry, didn't mean to make you chilly. Just wanted to see your eyes. They're really pretty. I don't often get to see them up close."

"Embry," she started, easily ignoring the comment about her eyes because she knew he was just trying to be nice, chewing her lip as butterflies danced madly in her belly, "you know Jake and I are just friends, right?"

He nodded, growing suspicious of the direction the conversation was taking now that he had her in his arms. He thought back to a conversation Jake had replayed in the pack mind recently, something he'd said to Bella and her response that left him unsettled and a little concerned.

"You know Jake loves you, right, Bells?"

She sighed, "I do. I know. It's complicated. There's no romantic love there, though, Emb. I'm not his imprint and he deserves to be free of complications when he does finally find her. Maybe if I give him the impression that I can move on, he'll try to as well."

Embry knew she meant what she said, but he also saw the little flicker of doubt, the disappointment in her eyes. She wouldn't have minded being Jake's imprinthaving that kind of guarantee would wipe away more than a year's worth of pain and disillusionment with love and romance. Her ex-leech had really done a number on her self-worth.

So that's what this was all about? Forcing Jake to move on to his own happiness? Embry wondered why Jake hadn't told her yet. It was crazy that he would keep that kind of secret from her when he had no qualms about fucking her on every flat surface on the rez.

He'd seen some of the shit the two of them had done in the name of friendship and he was impressed. It reminded him of her soft weight as it lay against him, her breasts rubbing teasingly over his chest.

He willed his dick to behave, trying to think of baseball scores, his grandma naked, the time he caught Quil beating his meat to a picture of Betty White. ("What? She's got a filthy mouth for an old broad!") Yup. That did it every time. He exhaled silently as his dick twitched and the straining zipper of his shorts slackened its biting pressure against his throbbing boner.

"You know how Jake is. He was bragging the other day-"

"-about having the biggest dick in the pack," Embry smirked. "Yeah, I know. He thought about it when we were phased together afterward. What do you want to know Bella? You want to know if he's the fastest? He is, except when Leah's phased. They run neck and neck. You want to know who's the strongest? It's probably Quil, but Jake might be just as strong. Quil's pretty broad. Built like his dad was, a big, brawny Quileute fisherman, but so was Billy before he got stuck in the chair. The baddest wolf? Gotta be Paul, unless Jake is flipping out worrying about you or chasing a leech who's after you."

"So what does that make you, Embry?" Bella's lashes fluttered down to brush against her alabaster cheeks. Embry wanted to lean over and kiss them, a gentle caress of lips pressed with all the reverence of the faithful kneeling in supplication at the altar of a deity. He felt a little lost in Bella himself. He wanted to do the right thing by Jake, but was that revealing the secret Jake was keeping from her or could he best serve their friendship by giving Jake the shove he needed to do the right thing himself?

"What do you want to know?" Embry whispered.

"If Leah might be the fastest and Quil might be the strongest and Paul might be the baddest, then maybe…"

"Maybe…?"

She turned it around, enjoying toying with Embry as she heard the uncertainty in his voice, musing, "If Jake might not be the fastest, strongest, or baddest, then it stands to reason …"

"Yeah…?" the anticipation was killing him.

She ran a hand up his thigh, pressing her little palm against the firm ridge of his cock through his shorts, "Maybe you're something else altogether, Emb."

"Hmm? Like what?" his voice cracked. Embry held his breath, waiting for her to ask the question he knew was comingif he was the biggest.

A slow smile spread across her face as Bella took in poor Embry's predicament. She knew what he thought she was going to ask, so she switched gears, leaning in, flicking her tongue across the little dip of his cupid's bow, running the tip of her tiny pink tongue over his top lip, bathing him in the honeyed scent of her sweet, fresh breath as she decided which wrench to throw in his works first.

"Maybe you're the tastiest," she breathed into his open mouth. "Can I suck your cock, Embry?"

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Endnote: Review, review, review. :D The more reviews this one gets, the more likely I am to update it sooner. Positive reinforcement like reviews are my best motivator.

I want to extend massive thanks to all those who voted for my Paul/Bella holiday one-shot "Holidaze" in the Tricky Raven Holiday Contest for Authors and Artists. "Holidaze" won the First Place Author Award!