AN: OMG. It's so …it has been so long! I am so sorry! I am back….
Olivia was exhausted; there was something in her that refused to wake up. Her eyelids were heavy and she felt Elliot's hand grip her own. She was being led out of the car, into the house and her coat was removed along with her purse. She had not said anything since the court house, she was afraid that if she did say something, it would break the exterior. Elliot was not forcing her to talk; he was reading her body language and giving her the head time she needed.
"I think I'm going to lie down," Olivia turned to him as she slipped off her shoes, "I'm really tired…"
"I'll bring something for lunch upstairs," Elliot reached up to brush her hair over her shoulders and she let him kiss her lips as gently as possible,
"What time does Lex get out of school?" Olivia nuzzled her nose with his. She wished that she felt romantic, she wished that she felt… anything, something but seeing Lewis had brought her to feel something that she wasn't sure of.
"Oh 3ish but her friend Delia is having a slumber party so she'll be there tonight," Olivia did not respond and Elliot's eyes probed her own, "What's going on Liv? Something… you look different babe."
"Seeing Lewis," Olivia began, "It triggered memories… emotions…I feel off," Olivia shut her eyes only to open them back to see Elliot's loving gaze on her.
"That makes perfect sense," Elliot agreed, "I wanted to kill the piece of shit but I bit my tongue," His hands ran across her shoulders before tracing down her arms. There was a silence that Olivia wished would burst, she desperately wanted to fill whatever emptiness that had been thrown over her, "Liv, talk to me," It was not a command, nor a plea… it was a simple request and Olivia's throat tightened.
"The last thing I want to do is push you away El…" Olivia set her forehead against his, "I just feel that… I can't explain it." There a wall in front of her again, a wall that stood up around her and she could feel her resistance. It was a wall she had let down and it was now back up on its own.
"You… are so safe," Elliot told her, looking up at her from the lower step he was on, "You know I would never let anything happen to you…" His words began to melt her but not enough. The ice was still around her and she felt tears well up in her eyes, "Liv," She felt his left hand rest against the place where her heart was, "I love you," When she felt his warmth, her eyes opened to look at his.
"Why do I feel so off?" Olivia clung to him, her fingernails tightening on his jacket. She let him pull her into a sweet hug, his fingers making swirls against her blouse, "El…" It was when that she realized that she needed him, not in the way she usually felt. She always needed him but this was different… She lifted her lips to his. She tasted him as he pressed his lips back to hers, they were soft, sweet kisses that she reveled in. Time slowed down as she felt Elliot's lips leave hers as he made a tender trail down her cheek, to her neck and then back to her lips again.
"I do Liv," He whispered against her mouth, "I love ya," Olivia's hands left his jacket so she was cradling his neck, kissing him again. Elliot was being tender, he was being gentle and she felt her body relax. Giving him one last kiss, she broke her lips away but kept him close, his hands reached up to grasp her own and they went up the stairs, they were in no rush. Light was shining into the bedroom, causing a dusk light; she heard Elliot shut the door behind them. Even though they were the only ones home, there was an intimacy and safe feeling about the fact that they were completely cut off from the rest of the world. Olivia sat down on the bed, her hands let go of Elliot's and she ran them up his chest to find his face. He leaned down as she slowly fell back against the comforter; his lips found hers even though hers stayed open. It was when Elliot's hands rested on the bed, so he was looking down at her, the kiss was deepened. It was love, complete and perfect. Olivia hooked her hands around his broad shoulders, pulling him into her.
"I should make you something to eat sweetheart," Elliot murmured into her ear and she smiled into him.
"I just want you right now," Olivia told him, her voice gentle and she ran her right hand down his arm, to his side and than the waistband of his pants. Elliot's mouth found hers again; the kisses were short but gentle and sweet as Olivia undid his pants. Elliot shifted so she could remove them and he made sure to pay attention to her neck, her mouth… his hands found her breasts and she moaned softly. As if Elliot knew already, Olivia was happy to remove her own bottoms. She felt Elliot unbutton her blouse, the cool air hitting her half exposed breasts. His left hand found her hands that were on her waist, he did not remove them but he did move his hand down slowly, cautiously.
"Are you OK?" Elliot's question made her nod, she was more then OK. She was in the arms of the man she loved, she was safe… she was loved. Elliot nodded before setting his entire hand over her entrance. Olivia kept her eyes open, Elliot's blue eyes locked on hers, never leaving her. His middle finger penetrated her and she gave him a rewarding moan. Elliot went slowly, moving his finger inside of her. Olivia trembled at the warm sensation and she grasped for him, finding the pre cum, she spread it with her finger so she could massage him and up and down. His finger went faster but stayed sensual, there was nothing forceful about it and Olivia groaned, feeling the pleasure take her over.
"Oh…" Elliot let out and Olivia felt her entire torso rise with fire, she could feel the sensation all over and she wanted him completely inside of her.
"El?" She did not even have to ask, his fingers left her softly, and he kissed her as she widened her legs to accommodate him. Elliot positioned himself softly between her, she felt him hit her entrance. The feeling was not scary or triggering, it was Elliot… he was going so slowly, so tenderly that there was no way to mistake it for anything else. Olivia felt him enter her slowly, she gasped at the sensation and he stopped as if he was afraid he had hurt her.
"No… don't stop," Olivia told him and he continued sliding into her, inch by inch. Back and forth until he filled her entirely. Olivia felt fevered by the sensation, the connection and the depth. Their bodies were joined and interlocked; Elliot looked down at her and brushed a hair of her eyes.
"I want you to feel safe Liv," He whispered against her lips and she caught his between hers.
"I do…" Olivia let him know and that was when he began to thrust into her. It was deep, sensual and strong. Olivia had never felt anything like it, the point for her was to not have an orgasm or to get her rocks of… it was to feel how deep the connection was. The rising of their chests against each other, Olivia arms around Elliot's shoulder blades. Elliot was now running his hands underneath her, so she was cradled against him as their bodies moved together. As Elliot moved inside of her, she felt her insides start to go hot, her entire body was being shaken and she trembled against Elliot. The warmth flooded to where she and Elliot met and she could feel herself tightening around him.
"Oh…" Olivia buried her head into the crook of his neck, grasping for him as she felt him getting harder, getting ready to release. Her lower belly wracked against him and Elliot groaned, finding her mouth. He did not quicken his pace, he stayed steady and sensual. He stayed loving. Was this what making love felt like? Olivia had no idea, her walls contracted around him again and she held onto him tighter, kissed him harder. She let out a moan of pleasure and Elliot's mouth had moved to her neck. Olivia arched towards him, lifting her left leg, so Elliot had deeper access.
"Unh," They both cried out when Elliot went deeper. It was burning even more now; the warmth… the heat and Olivia felt Elliot hit her spot over and over again. She held onto him as if she might fall this time, Elliot's muscular arms wrapped tighter around her and he was now thrusting with conviction. Olivia felt the love in each thrust, she felt his gesture and her body was getting hotter and tighter. If she did not get relief soon she would… and then it happened, the relief, the extinguish as Elliot went completely hard. Olivia's body had no choice but to respond and she was having the most intense Orgasm that she had ever experienced. Elliot thrust more, letting her ride it out and she was sure she was leaving marks on him. Elliot's kiss told her that he was coming, she heard him groan into her and she answered with her own moan.
"Oh… My… God…" Olivia groaned into his neck when he relaxed, "Oh…" She felt lazy, she felt safe… she felt relieved… she felt Elliot.
"Olivia," Elliot's voice was breathless and she gazed at him, "I love you."
"I love you too," Olivia reached up to kiss him, before he set his head against hers, "I had do idea…"
"No idea of what babe?" Elliot kissed her ear.
"That that even existed…"
"What existed? Making love?" Elliot smiled against her neck.
"Yes," Olivia's answer caused Elliot to find her left hand with his right, "That was intense,"
"For me too Liv," He told her and she smiled into him, "I'll never hurt you…"
"And I will never let anyone else hurt you."
"You want some lunch?" Elliot's question made her laugh, "What?" He asked her with a smile.
"You… insist so much on feeding me its insane."
"Well I want to make sure you're fed Liv," Elliot grinned wider at her and she blushed.
"What are you smiling about?"
"Because you're smiling," Elliot told her and her face grew hotter. Her stomach growled and they laughed together.
"I guess I am kinda hungry,"
"Kinda?" Elliot teased her, "Come on babe, lets get cleaned up and then I can make whatever you want." Elliot pulled out of her and they both made a groan of protest. Elliot turned around so he could pull his pants on as Olivia stayed lying down, running her left hand up his spine, "Um Liv?" His voice changed.
"Yeah?" Olivia tried not to take notice.
"Are you on birth control?" Way to ruin a moment… Olivia tensed at this question.
"Don't worry… I can't get pregnant," Olivia sighed as she revealed this.
"What?" Elliot turned to look at her, a look of devastation hinted in his eyes, "When did the doctors tell you that?" His question caused Olivia to stiffen completely.
"Oh… um… no doctors. After so many years I just figured I can't get pregnant," Olivia shrugged and Elliot gave her a look.
"Honey, have you ever tried to get pregnant?"
"Well… not really… do we really have to talk about this?" Olivia sat up as Elliot handed her, her panties.
"Well…. Did it not occur to you that all of this sex could maybe lead to… a baby?"
"I can't get-"
"Olivia, did a doctor tell you that?" Olivia thought silently.
"No, a doctor never officially told me that I can't have kids."
"I never liked how it made me feel… I've always used condoms." Olivia admitted, all of the sudden feeling very paranoid.
"We can go to the doctor," Elliot suggested and Olivia blanched.
"Elliot, honey we are not going to discuss kids right now. I've got this trial and… you've got Lex… it's not the time. We're just going to have to start using protection," Olivia kissed his shoulder and she felt him lay his head against her.
"I just love you so much… I want things to work out…" Elliot told her and she nodded against him, "Liv I would love nothing more then to have kids with you-"
"Honey? Really not the right time."
"Yeah… you're right." She felt Elliot kiss the top of her head, "Food sounds wonderful right now."
"Doesn't it?" Elliot stood up, holding his hand out to her. Olivia accepted her pants and slid them on; Elliot seemed to not even notice the can of worms he had just opened up. Olivia always assumed that she just could not have kids. She looked down at her stomach and frowned… she wanted a baby but not this way. Not during all of this… she would be sure that she and Elliot would be careful from now on. With all of the stress in her life and in Elliot's the last thing they needed was a little baby to create. The environment needed to be right, needed to be safe and secure.
"Hey El?" Olivia called to him as they entered the kitchen.
"Before we put a lid on the kids talk…" Olivia was not sure how to go about it so Elliot finished for her.
"Don't ever doubt that I wouldn't want to have a kid with you Liv… it's why I asked," Elliot's face got flushed and she felt her own, "But I'm with you… it's not the right time."
"But some time…"
"Yeah… some time," Elliot laughed, walking towards her to give her a sweet kiss.
"Alright then, I agree."
AN: The Baby thing. I want Olivia Benson to have a baby, I do. But not with everything she is going through right now on SVU. I hate that Warren is giving the message that "A baby cures everything." No. Olivia Benson does not need a baby right now. She deserves one but DAMN. I am just going to agree with me EO crowd and Chris when we say, "It's the El and Livs secret romance at play." EO stays alive by Chris and Mariska keeping it going with the fans. Love those two! You cannot sink the EO ship when the actors ship it themselves lol.