Warning: Strong possibility of an OOC Sasuke at the beginning.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Wonders of Alcohol

by DeepPoeticGirl

It was 4:06 in the morning, and Sakura was going to murder someone.

More specifically, whoever the hell was pounding at her door.

Being one of the best medics in the hospital, she hadn't been allowed the day off for New Year's Eve. A lot of casualties usually presented themselves during the holidays—stupid, reckless ones at that. The nurses and apprentice-medics usually tended to get overwhelmed by the amount of wounded individuals. They lacked the experience and stamina to keep up with the erratic workload. Thus, she and Shizune, along with a few other long-time medics, were usually too valuable to the hospital to be accorded the day off.

So after a long 36 hour shift of stupid accidents and forever-maddening drunk patients, she thought she deserved a long, good night of sleep. The gods owed her that much, at least, for doing such hard work of saving other people's lives.

But nay, instead Sakura's wonderful slumber was interrupted not nearly three hours into it.

Swearing loudly into her pillow, she punched her mattress and kicked the covers off. Quickly, she sat up and ran a furious hand through her mussed hair, angrily sliding on her slippers before trudging into her hallway. Silently, she prayed for her unwanted guess to come delivering an emergency attendance call from the hospital—but all those thoughts disintegrated at the sound of a boisterous laugh she knew all too well.

So as she turned the knob and confirmed that they were at her door both sloshed out of their minds, she was not happy.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR, SAKURA-CHAN!" the blonde shouted when her disheveled figure presented itself to them.

"Not s'loud dobe," the darker haired one slurred, his head lulling heavily forward in obvious inebriation. "Peopl ar'sleepin'."


"S'four in th'mornin'…"

The scene was almost comedic, even in her state, but with barely more than two hours of sleep in her body after a bad day, Sakura was in absolutely no mood to deal with any more stupidity. Especially not theirs.

"One of you better be dying of alcohol intoxication or I swear to god," she pointed a threatening finger towards them, "I'm going to dismember you both painfully slowly—starting with your eyes."

They were both too heavily plastered to take her threat seriously, and this was obvious by the way Naruto simply threw his head back and laughed loudly, like it was the funniest thing he'd heard all year.

"You're hilarious, Sakura-chan!" the blonde sputtered, swaying dangerously on his feet. "So funny!" He leaned on his best friend and gave him a slap, chortling more intensely. "Isn't she funny, Sasuke-teme?"

The latter remained unresponsive, seemingly half passed out as he stood there.

Sakura sucked in a breath and silently fumed, before she lifted both her hands and smacked them both upside the head with so much unnecessary force that they were knocked backwards and onto their asses.

"Go the fuck home, the both of you," Sakura snarled. "I've been working non-stop and have dealt with too many drunk shitheads already. I am exhausted, dirty, and already way too angry for a holiday like this." As she noticed them struggling to get up, she rolled her eyes and snagged their collars, pulling them up to their feet. Naruto made a face, the action having obviously been too quick not to upset him, and she cringed, turning her face away as he met the side of her porch and emptied his stomach on the ground.

Her medic instinct kicked in. "Kami, you've both had enough. I'm gonna go get a cab before either of you get intoxicated or worse, get yourselves killed by doing something stupid." Spotting one coming their way, she whistled sharply and hailed it over, waving a hand in the air. "Always so reckless—save me the trouble sometimes, why don't you?" She turned to face her boys again, eyes narrowed. "Now when you get home, I want you both to take at least two glasses of water. Preferably more. It'll make the following morning feel less harsh. If you have any—"

A sound of surprised left her mouth as a Sasuke suddenly stepped forward, clumsily knocking his forehead into hers, his lips clumsily crushing her own soon after. Her eyes widened considerably as she saw the quiet hunger in his half-lidded eyes, a quick gasp escaping her as he gripped her waist and pushed her backwards onto the wall of her apartment. He took her moment of pause to his advantage and slipped his tongue in her mouth.

Briefly, Sakura wondered what exactly possessed Sasuke to do something like this, and if she had done something to set him off. Or was it simply the alcohol? It certainly wasn't uncommon to hear of drunken men and their uninhibited lust. Perhaps alcohol knocked down the barrage of sexual tension that she suspected Sasuke retained.

Her eyes flashed with momentary hurt, realizing that if this was the case, Sasuke was likely using her to slack his lust. She doubted he really wanted to or was completely aware he had made the choice—Sasuke knew of her feelings, he wouldn't possibly be this cruel.

But just as she slipped her hands to his chest and prepared to push him away, a hand ran up heatedly under her shirt and over her stomach, fanning the fire of desire and love she had always felt for the man. Her mind blanked completely, the awareness of their situation and her bitter feelings disappearing completely. She fisted his shirt and moaned, tugging him closer to her until their bodies were all but flushed against each other. The hand on her stomach traveled to her back and she arched, breath catching in her throat momentarily at the pure heat boiling in her blood. She let out a small cry as he bumped his hips into hers, his teeth digging into her bottom lip seductively.

"Sak'ra," he growled, inebriated black eyes staring lustfully into her forest green ones. He bumped his hips against hers again, lowering his lips to her jaw.

Her breath hitched as he slowly started kissed his way down to her neck, touching her skin feverishly with one hand, while his other held her tightly to him. Emerald green disappeared beneath eyelids as his tongue came out to taste her skin, mind foggy with pure, pure desire. Her mouth fell open in a silent moan as she felt his teeth grazing over the tender flesh of her collarbone, teasing the area with little nips, before he slowly moved his mouth to her shoulder and promptly bit down.

"Holy shit," someone exclaimed, voice hoarse and seemingly appalled. "This is—Ugh, I'm gonna vomit again…"

Reminded of Naruto's presence, Sakura flushed, telling herself to push the man she loved away but instead only succeeding in slipping her hands into his hair and pulling him closer. She nearly forgot about him again as Sasuke's hand brushed the underside of her breast, before reaching upwards to squeeze. Tilting her head back against the wall, she bit back a sigh.

"Sasuke," she gasped, tugging at his locks strongly. "Ah—um, should we—?"

Her eyes rolled at the back of her head as he suddenly grinded his pelvis into hers sharply, his mouth rising to crush hers again. He moved gratifyingly against her until he heard Naruto hurl into the bushes again. Abruptly, Sasuke stopped moving and pulled away from the wall with a grimace, whispering his husky agreement, before tugging a blushing Sakura into her own apartment and closing the door on the still-lurching blonde.

The next morning, Sasuke woke up with what he would perhaps deem the worst headache of his life. His head was pounding so loudly it made him sway when he sat up. His mouth was dry, his stomach was flipping uncomfortably, and his shoulders ached impossibly. He couldn't even keep his eyes open because the light hurt so much.

"Here," someone whispered softly from his left side. "It'll help."

He felt delicate hands slip two small round object in one of his hands—pills, he guessed—and a glass of water in the other. She held the glass until she was sure his grip was strong enough. He mumbled his thanks and popped the pills in his mouth, taking a generous gulp of water before sputtering a bit as nausea hit him full force.

"Not so fast," Sakura chastened, taking care to keep her voice as low as possible as to not make his headache worsen. He was thankful for that. "And don't take such big gulps. It upsets your stomach."

"Yeah, I can feel that," he muttered, head jerking forward a bit as the nausea attacked him again with a little less force. His body trembled under the sensation, feeling grateful as Sakura grasped his beverage gently.

When the moment passed, he grudgingly let her help him drink, hating that he felt so pathetic but too tired and feeble to really care. This was also the moment he seemed to realize he was only in his boxers.

Taken aback, Sasuke blinked and said, "Why am I almost naked?"

Sakura fidgeted a little. "You threw up on yourself. Most of it got on your shirt but some got on your pants too." She seemed to be a bit flushed. "So I washed them."

He wrinkled his nose in disgust, imagining the scene in his head.

"So we didn't have sex?"

She gave him an odd look, then, but the blush still wouldn't fade. Sasuke blamed it on his current attire—or lack thereof. "No, Sasuke, we didn't." She quieted. "I don't know why we ever would."

His eyes diverted from her form and to the bed. "…Hn."


"Do you remember anything from last night?" she asked suddenly, sounding nervous.

He looked up to her suspiciously. "…No," he replied, slowly. "Why? Is there something I should know?"

Sakura laughed awkwardly, waving her hand in front of her face, as if to dismiss a silly matter. "No, no! Of course not." She smiled cheerily and stood up, handing him his fresh clothes, before clearing her throat uneasily. "Well, better be on your merry way!"

Sasuke could only comply, too grungy and lightheaded to question her.

Naruto's grin was far too sly to his liking.

His eyes narrowed in warning, and after a moment of staring, he snapped, "What the hell are you looking at me like that for, dobe?"

The blonde's grin widened, and he snickered. "Oh, you totally know why," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Sasuke gritted his teeth. "No, I don't!"

Naruto laughed and grasped his shoulder, shaking him playfully as he said, "Oh don't give me that!"

The lone Uchiha sucked in a sharp breath, before roughly pulling his throbbing shoulder out of his best friend's grasp. "I don't fucking know anything," he ground out, rubbing the injured area with a wince. He shot Naruto a glare, and the latter offered an apologetic look.

But he was quick to rebound in excitement, as always.

"Come on man!" he pleaded, looking dangerously close to pouting. "You and Sakura! Don't tell me nothing happened."

Sasuke tensed, slightly surprised. This wasn't what he was expecting Naruto to be prying about, especially since their whole situation seemed pretty bland. Then again, it was just like Naruto to make everything out of nothing.

He rolled his eyes. "Nothing happened."

His best friend seemed exasperated, then. "Don't lie to me!" he exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger. "You guys were basically having dry sex in front of me after you kissed her! There's no way you didn't get any!"

Everything in his body froze. He was so taken aback—so bewildered by the revelation—that he couldn't even think properly for a full minute. He didn't know what he was expecting to hear—but this certainly wasn't it.


His memory ran in overdrive as he sought to remember what happened last night, trying to see if there was any possibility that what the blonde was saying was true. But all he could remember were blurred images of the two of them drinking heavily at a bar, perhaps competing against each other and—

His mind stopped, as suddenly, the image of an angry and dishevelled Sakura fluttered in his mind. She had been yelling at them, he remembered. He didn't know about what, but he remembered feeling the concern seeping through some remarks. He remembered—

His eyes widened, breath cutting short. I remember thinking she was beautiful when she looked angry like that. I remember feeling… heated. His fist tightened, and he almost wanted to groan. Kami, I was turned on. I wanted her so much after seeing that despite her anger, she was worried.

At the prolonged silence, Naruto quirked a brow.

"…Wow, you really don't remember anything do you?" he asked, shaking his head in something akin to pity.

Sasuke sighed, long and slow. "No. I woke up in her bed nearly naked this morning, that's it." He ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure out what was going on. "Sakura said nothing happened."

"Nearly naked? YOU TOTALLY GOT SOME."

He groaned, undecided as to what to believe. On one hand he remembered lusting for her, but on another there was Sakura's sincerity to consider. She was never one to lie to him—if nothing happened, then nothing happened, right?

His eyes narrowed. But if the idiot said he saw us doing that…

He shook his head, then.

No, Sakura's honest. She wouldn't have hidden something like that from me—not without good reason. He nodded to himself, then. And Naruto was just as drunk as I was, he finally reasoned with himself. He could have easily imagined everything. But then why… why all the fidgeting this morning?

"She would have told me," he finally said, unsure of his own words as he was obviously trying to convince himself.

Naruto picked up on it right away, and he grinned, elbowing his friend. "Maybe she just didn't want to have sex with you again because you were that terrible," he teased, snickering to himself.

Sasuke gave him the most vicious glare, then, having taken the jibe all too seriously. He rudely got off his seat and didn't even bother leaving money on the counter before he stalked off into the night with heavy, furious steps.


"Sasuke? What are you doing here?"

Ignoring her question and look of pure surprise, Sasuke roughly pushed past her and trudged to her living room, fists opening and closing time and time again, trying to reign in his frustration and disappointment. Sakura, always so attuned to his feelings and body language, immediately started worrying for him.

"What's wrong? What happened?" she asked, quickly hurrying down to join him. As she stood in front of him, she gently touched his forearm. "Are you okay?"

When he childishly stepped away from her touch, she frowned and put her hands on her hips. "Did Naruto do something again?"

Not missing a beat, Sasuke snarled, "No. You did."

She recoiled in shock, growing quickly confused. "What?"

"You lied to me!"

"Lied to you?" Her eyes narrowed, then. She had never lied to Sasuke! Being honest with him was something she prioritized ever since his return. Angered, she retorted, "No I didn't! What would I have lied to you about!?"

"Last night!" Sasuke snapped. "You said we didn't have sex!"

"Yes, because we didn't have sex!"

"Naruto said—"

"That idiot doesn't know any better!"

"—that we were practically having sex in front of him before we left him outside!"

She sputtered, then. "Well, yeah but—"

He glared at her, seemingly livid. "So we did have sex!"

"No!" she finally yelled, having had enough of these accusations. She was still flustered, and more than unprepared to talk about this—she had thrown the whole thing out of her mind when he had revealed he hadn't remembered a thing. But she wouldn't let him believe in the lies based on their drunk blonde teammate's assumptions.

Relaxing her tight fist, she went on softly, "We didn't. You threw up on yourself and passed out when I was trying to push you away."

His eyes widened then, and he looked almost offended.

"…what? Why?" he asked, almost demandingly.

Sakura made a face, resisting the urge to throw her hands in the air in defeat. "Because you drank alcohol, stupid!"

Sasuke almost groaned, rubbing a hand on his face. "No, not that!" he said, stepping towards her. "Why were you trying to push me away?"

She faltered. She hadn't expected him to press on their situation, especially given their circumstances. Hesitantly, she opened her mouth, but was unsure of what to say as she stared at those intensely black eyes of his that she loved so much. So she closed her eyes and tipped her head down, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"You were drunk," she started hoarsely, trying not to sound as pathetic as she felt. "You didn't mean to. I mean I know guys get horny when they get drunk and I was the only girl there so of course I'd be at your end of the stick—figuratively speaking. So I tried to stop you." She looked so pained. "I didn't want you to do something you would regret."

His eyes softened, then, but she did not see. She only heard the deafening silence, only felt his stare burning holes at the back of her head. It was unbearable.

"You should go, Sasuke," she finally said, refusing to lift her head properly so she would not see her damp eyes. He would surely think her pathetic to see her crying over something like this.

But he didn't budge.

"Why?" he finally asked, so, so quietly.

Sakura finally looked up, offering a pained smile. Her tears glittered clearly. "Because you're drunk again. It's the only reason you're here arguing with me."

He frowned, looking at her oddly, as if he was a bit stunned. "I'm not drunk, Sakura."

Sighing, she wiped the unshed tears and gave him an exasperated look. "Sasuke, I can smell the alcohol from here."

There was an odd shine to his eyes, then. A glimmer of something she didn't understand. "Yes, but I'm not drunk."

"Whatever, not drunk then. Tipsy." She rolled her eyes. "Any synonymous term to that."

Her breath caught, then—he was smiling. "Sakura, I'm not drunk or tipsy. Yes, I smell like alcohol but I haven't had a drink since last night."

Her head tilted a little in curiosity, an odd habit that always amused Sasuke. "Then why?"

He responded nothing, only moved his sleeve up to his shoulder to reveal a nasty looking cut, relatively deep and wide. It looked pretty painful.

"Had to disinfect it," he said. "We didn't have bandages in the vicinity, only alcohol. It's part of why I came here."

"Oh. OH." She scrambled to him, grasping his arm gently and inspecting his wound with a more professional eye, mentally listing where to heal first. "Why didn't you just say so instead of coming in here yelling? Jeez Sasuke, this must hurt a lot—"

He stopped her midsentence by grabbing her chin and roughly claiming her lips with his own, kissing her zealously for a few seconds, before he pulled back and dragged his lips to her cheek. "If you can't figure out why I just did that," he whispered, caressing the back of her neck sensually, "I might have to begin to think those years have dumbed you down."

Sakura cleared her throat, cheeks flushed and mouth pursed in surprise, clearly still recovering from his kiss. "A-And yesterday?" she managed to ask, voice shaking a little.

Sasuke smirked against her skin, enjoying how she shuddered against him. He shrugged lightly. "Alcohol gives guts, doesn't it?" he murmured, pulling back to look at her properly.

Slowly, her mouth pulled up in a glowing smile. "Sometimes."

His smirk grew fonder and he wrapped his free arm around her waist, fingers threading through her hair as he drew her in for another sinful kiss.

Was hoping to get this out for New Years Day but I learned Sherlock BBC season 3 had started and couldn't wait to watch it. They're like an hour and a half long episodes, if you don't know lol. So I resolved to get it out today… And would have done so much earlier if I hadn't BASICALLY ALMOST DIED TODAY. I'm still kind of in shock.

Nonetheless, hope you enjoyed! I wish you all a very happy new year!