you don't know how precious your life is until it is gone. until you are gone. every breath we take brings us closer and closer to the day we die. you don't know when your time will come, but you know it will happen eventually. Just think about it. Take a deep breath in and think to yourself, I just inched myself closer to my own death. Now tell me, how did it feel? It scared you didn't it? Hi, my name is Isabella Swan, and this is my story.
"Bells wake up! First day of Junior year you don't want to be late Kiddo." Charlie walked into my room. School. the mere thought just gave me the chills. Another day, another 8 hours of the same kids. The same teachers. The same fat jokes. You'd think after a while they would stop, they would see that those jokes they make and the little snide remarks they whisper to each other while you walk past them in the hallway hurt. The pain is like getting stabbed with razor blades, and when you look down to examine the cut, you find nothing.
"Okay dad" I replied getting out of bed. My feet hit the cold wooden floor. I could care less. I took a shower letting the hot water wash over me, my hand ran over the scar on my shoulder. I have so many scars from these kids but this one was the worst.
Seventh grade was the year the Bullying started, Edward Cullen the schools jock, well he was the one that started everything. I always think to myself, what went wrong? I mean Edward and I were best friends up until fifth grade, we did everything together, we were even neighbors. Then we got to sixth grade and everything faded, he found new friends and little Isabella Swan was left in the dirt.
The last day of seventh grade I was walking to my bike on the other side of the school. It was the worst day of my life, the teasing started, all the kids I Thought were my friends laughed at me like I was some joke. Edward stood on a table in the lunch room and threw insults towards me. I didn't deserve this, I thought to myself as I kept walking. I bumped into someone. I looked up and low and behold Edward Anthony Cullen is laughing and staring down at me.
"Well well isn't it isasmella swan." He taunted and took out a pocket knife. He drew an E with the sharp tool on my left shoulder. I didn't cry out in pain. No. I told myself I was stronger than that. They always say the first cut is the deepest, and that saying has never been so accurate in my life up until that point.
I snap out of the memory and finish my shower. By now the water has run cold. I walk out of my bathroom and get dressed. I stopped caring what a looked like a while ago, even if I took the time to look nice every day, the teasing wouldn't stop. It was a never-ending cycle. Wake up. Get dressed. Go to school. Get hurt emotionally and physically. Come home." Forget" to eat. Then sleep and repeat the next day.
I went to my car got in and drove to my personal hell. Nothing I said or did was going to change anything. I turned on the radio and almost burst into tears at the song that was playing.
Started out at school always saying she wasn't good enough
rumors spread and stories told that she somehow heard of
then the social network came and it got so much badder
telling her to just give up, so she listened to the chatter
I clicked off the radio. That song, was my life in 3 minutes, it explained how the kids were to me. I pulled in the parking lot in my faded red truck and got out.
"Well well well, if it isn't Isabella Swan. We all thought you'd kill yourself by now." Jessica Stanley called as I walked to my first class. First blow of the day. I thought as I walked into my Calculus 2 class. I sat in the back with one of my only friends. Emmett Mcarthy. Emmett is Edwards cousin and we have been friends since we were in diapers. He is like a brother to me and he is the only one that can stop the harrassing when it starts.
"Hey Bella." He said putting an arm around my shoulder and kissing my head. "What have they said so far today?" He looked at me with a pained expression on his face, I returned it with a blank one from me.
"Jessica just said that she is surprised I haven't killed myself yet." I said emotionless. Em growled. He gets so protective of me sometimes and I don't get why. I don't get why he hasn't joined the others and left me just like everyone else did. It's not that I want him to leave, it's just that when he does leave it's over, my reason to live, and he will leave everyone eventually does.
Sure I still have my father but he never sees me anyway. He sure as hell doesn't know what goes on and what happens to me at school everyday. Emmett though he is the sun in a place that only has clouds. He is a big bother that tries his best to protect me but when he leaves me there's no hope anymore, and that thought terrifies me to no end.
"Em calm down." I say punching his shoulder lightly. He loosens up and Laughs a bit. "Are you coming by for dinner tonight? My dad wants to take us to the diner because your birthday is coming up!" I laugh at my dads antics. Emmett is like his son. We were born 3 days apart and Emmetts parents are charlies best friends.
"I can't I am spending the night at my cousins to celebrate. How about tomorrow?" He looks at me with sad eyes. His cousins. He could only be talking about...
"The Cullens?" I asked sadly, he nodded.
"I'm sorry Be-" He began to say.
"Don't be, I understand they're your cousins whether I like them or not you have a right to go and spend time with them." I say as the bell rings and I get up. I send Charlie a text saying Em can't make it and head to my next class. All day people tease me and yell crude remarks at me. I've learned to ignore it.
Finally the last bell of the day rings and I head to my car. Usually Em is standing in the bed of it waiting for me, but I guess he already left. No big deal Bella. I said to myself as I get in my truck and drive home. Charlie decided to work over time tonight since We weren't going out tonight. I decided to make dinner for myself.
I got out all the ingredients to make home-made pizza when I got a text. It was from Emmett. a smile appeared on my face. As I read it the smile faded and tears flowed freely.
Bella, you made me realize that I have so many better opportunities. please don't talk to me, they were right you are disgusting.
I dropped my phone and ran upstairs, I couldn't do this anymore. I found a bottle of pills and took them all. I took out a razor and cut until I couldn't anymore. one last time I turned on the radio and the song once again came on.
How to you feel now she's gone
and her family is torn
how do you feel now she's watching you live on.
how do you feel now she's gone and what your words have done
you can try you can cry you can plead but you're not innocent.
I was slowly losing it. Everything was fuzzy. soon enough I wouldn't have to put up with the constant threats. No more Edward Cullen, no more Jessica Stanley, no more pain.
The world went black.
I was gone, I was never coming back.