I bet one day she would get out her red pen and mark all of the errors in it before on a separate piece of paper write an amazing little omake of how it should have gone8/19/2015 #121
"This is pathetic. I've seen ice cubes more steamy than this, .... and Kiba, I will smack you if you make the joke about my teammate that I know you're about to say."8/19/2015 #122
What if Shikako uses suggestive scenes/images form Icha Icha as a distraction for explosive tag. One moment the enemy would be like WTH is porn doing here and then next, BOOM! Pervy Fuuinjutsu.
Could this be a crack-omake?8/19/2015 #123
Could this be in the story? Like used against Kakashi? Please?8/19/2015 #124
oh hell, that sounds hilarious, and Naruto just chewing out Jiraiya. "Jiraiya! You corrupted Shikako-chan you pervert! What did you do to her?!"8/19/2015 . Edited 8/19/2015 #125
It would be hilarious if during the Shippuden bell test, they take a copy of Icha Icha Tactics and Shikako puts an explosive tag on it. Then they throw it at Kakashi?8/19/2015 #126
Or better yet, have Naruto do a modified sexy Jutsu with the girls from Icha Icha, Kakashi would go nuclear.8/19/2015 #127
sorry not sorry
if you find any errors, it's probably because i'm typing on a phone
Shikako had only been in the bookstore to get a present for Sasuke, but as she glanced about, she couldn't resist picking up the latest Icha Icha book. She flipped to a random page and silently read:
'Kaoru's beautiful turquiose orbs shone like the stars, blazing suns in the dark night. Her long, silky golden hair fell to her hips, which were clad in tight black shorts. The curve of her plump pink lips was almost sinful. She reminded him if some kind of beautiful goddess, surely too good to be true. She held out a hand, and that was all the invitation he needed. Takashi pressed his lips to hers, and held her, warm against his body. "You're beautiful," he whispered against her mouth, voice low and husky.'
Shikako put the book down. "..."
"Enjoying it?" The cashier giggled, cheeks slightly flushed. In her hands was a copy of the same book.
"Not really," Shikako replied. "I could probably write better."
"You're only sixteen," the cashier said doubtfully. "And you probably aren't that experienced at writing stories...Jiraiya-sama has been writing for years."
"Exactly."8/19/2015 . Edited 8/19/2015 #128
Pervy Fuuinjutsu, Shikako writing her own better version of icha-icha...
Man, I wished Pervert!Shikako is a thing. I mean, she had her own shadow transformation, not to mention shadow split.
Imagine it. Physically, Shikako's body is doing normal thing while her other self, the shadow doing... more unquestionable thing. I don't know if the shadow had enough chakra to be noticable, but it's probably not that much. It could easily blend into the normal shadow.
She could blamed it all to Jiraiya. Apparently becoming fuuinjutsu expert also makes you a pervert XD.
On a serious side note, if Shikako were 'pervert' in the DoS canon, she might consider using porn to hide her encryption. People would suspect she hides something, but then just thought it was porn. Just like Light Yagami from Death Note.8/19/2015 . Edited 8/19/2015 #130
|Mercy Of Baal
Omg xD dying. That was hilarious. That was terrible (the icha icha).8/19/2015 #131
Ohmysky, can you imagine Shikako writing her own smutty books? Like either she's taking a 'if you want it done right do it yourself' or someone, not seriously, daring her to do better and she does? She's actually popular under her pseudonym but none of her friends know except when a hardcore fan manages to figure out who she is and asks for her autograph?8/19/2015 #132
Jiraiya : "You better be able to fight me when we get back."
Shikako : "Challenge accepted."
Three years later, Shikako's a renowned porn writer, surpassing Icha-icha series. Jiraiya groaned.
Shikako : "You didn't specify which field to compete in."8/19/2015 . Edited 8/19/2015 #133
OMG. I need this omake. Please someone write this. Especially if the other Konoha 12 count it as their guilty pleasure.8/19/2015 #134
Omake: (PG I promise, sadly)
It's a rare day when all of them are in the village at the same time so Ino organizes a hangout. Nothing fancy, just a reservation at a Akimichi restaurant big enough to have a private room for five.
"Is this actually any good?" Temari asks, tapping the *cough* romance novel cover. Tenten had been reading it while waiting for everyone and it was now the top discussion.
"Oh yeah. The author really knows what she's talking about. The sex scenes," Tenten makes a low whistling noise as Ino, Sakura, and Hinata giggle.
Shikako doesn't say anything.
"It could be a guy," Sakura says.
"Nah, no way. No guy knows a woman like that."
"Agreed." Ino adds. "It's my problem with Icha Icha, so clearly by a guy that wouldn't know a woman if she punched him in the face."
"I would bet she's solely into women too."
Shikako carefully doesn't say anything.
"I like her second book the best. The mystery of the missing clan techniques was really complex." Hinata adds, blushing a little at having admitted to reading them.
"I thought it was too complicated. She could have removed a third of the book and it still would have had too many plot threads." Ino says.
"But that's what made it good," Hinata counters. "You were wondering how she was going to resolve it until the very end."
"I'm sure you like the blond love interest too." Sakura teases.
"Just like you liked the raven head of the-the-the next one." She stutters as she teases back, blush deepening.
Shikako very, very carefully doesn't say anything.
"So, I take it I should pick up a copy." Temari says lazily. Most of the girls nod in agreement.
"It's a must for long missions."
"I would suggest starting with the first if you can find it. They do build on each other."
"You might want to do so soon. You're leaving tomorrow for a meeting right?" Shikako speaks for the first time. Temari takes the redirection and starts complaining about the long trip that she has coming up. The smutty series is forgotten for the rest of the dinner until the group files out of the restaurant.
"Shikako Nara?" A voice calls out. Everyone subtly shifts into battle mode.
"Yes?" Shikako answers as she gets ready to release her weight seals. Instead of an attack a half bowed lady shoves a book into her face.
"Wouldyousignthisplease?" Everyone blinks and takes a look at the book. It was the same one they were talking about earlier. Shikako is looking at the fan that is staring at her with the most hopeful puppy eyes she has ever seen.
"Sure." The book is signed and back into the lady's hands in a flash. Shikako doesn't need to turn around to know that the other girls aren't going to let this go.
"I'm pretty sure they haven't cleaned off our table yet." Ino says. That is all the warning she gives before dragging Shikako back inside, the rest eagerly following.
Damnit, so close.8/19/2015 #135
Lol. You just know Silver Queen is reading this forum and is either giggleing like a madwoman, or frowning in dissaproval st us turning her character into a pervert8/19/2015 #136
*starry eyes * it's beautiful. If icha icha is built up of mostly male readers than Shikako would have mostly women readers. I love the girls dialogue. I wonder if her brother knows ?8/19/2015 #137
I love this. It needs to be published in a sidestory or something.
Just imagine everyone's reactions! Even those not in Konoha (and Suna). If her identity as an author spreads, her bingo book name could be Konoha's Perverted Shikabane-hime. In an unrealistic crack moment, the enemy first asks for her autograph then fights her.8/19/2015 #138
Shikabane hime means corpse princess.
Perverted corpse princess... no, I think Shikako will die with shame from the implication. XD8/19/2015 #139
Yeah let's not imply necrophilia. She would cheerfully murder anyone who said that to her8/19/2015 #140
"So, the famed Perverted Corpse Princess, huh? You're just a kid." The man leered at Shikako. "Why don't you go back to...playing with your corpse friends and leave this fight to the big kids, yeah?" The implications went unsaid. Shikako blinked, then lunged at his throat with a growl and a kunai. "You're going to be a corpse after I'm done with you!"8/19/2015 #141
Ino, Hinata, and Shikamaru had happened to be in Konoha the day Team 7 had their fateful reunion, and had made excuses to meet up with Naruto again. Letters just weren't the same as actually seeing him back. After the fond greetings, they all made the obligatory visit to Ichiraku Ramen.
Partway through the conversation, as Naruto devoured his seventh bowl of ramen, Jiraya turned sly eyes on his other pupil. "Alright, brat. You promised that you would challenge me when Naruto got back. I'm feeling nice, so I'll let you set the challenge. Show me what you've learned."
"Hmm." Shikako tapped her chin in an exaggerated manner, before turning innocent eyes upon the Sannin. "Information gathering, maybe?"
Jiraya winced. He still had no idea where she got some of the information she'd hidden in the letters sent to him. Reports of Kakuzu in a red and black cloak? Sasori's unredacted profile? He was supposed to be the spymaster here. Still, that wasn't something to talk about in public. He shook his head. "Something more tangible, kid."
She appeared to weigh something, before smirking. "Book sales, then?" She reached into her vest and slapped down a thin blue book. Emblazoned on the front: "Romance of the Four Seasons: Vol. III: Autumn." Shikamaru's eyes widened momentarily, before he sent an incredulous stare at his sister. "Best selling romance series in Fire, Wind, and Mist Country!", she declared, pointing at the emblazoned sticker.
"Huh." A proof copy of an unreleased book was difficult to get hold of - Kakashi could attest to that. She might be telling the truth - not that total sales across all years beat Icha Icha anyway. Still... "Those books are written under a pseudonym. Can you prove you're the 'Wandering Blossom'?"
"Sure." She pulled out a small scroll and sketched a basic design on it, ignoring the gaping mouths of her teammates. Looked like a basic trigger seal. "Would anyone else know how to trigger the seal inside the cover?" She activated the seal, and immediately two sets of chiming notes sounded - one from the book on the table, the other slightly muffled.
On reflex, those present turned to Kakashi, but he sook his head. "I'm insulted. You think I'm shameless enough to read porn by one of my cute little students?" Shikako looked as surprised as everyone else, as she blurted, "You knew?" The impending discussion was cut, brief, however, as a scarlet Hinata pulled a similar blue book out, and the notes became clearer.
As everyone turned to look at her, she protested in a small voice, "T-the love between Ryu and Daichi, despite their families protests, was very t-touching." Ino smirked. "So it wasn't the naked escape from the Daimyo's dungeon that caught your interest?" Sasuke capitalized on the opening, despite looking faintly nauseous. "And you know the plot... how?"
Jiraya looked at the book, still making sound, ignoring the bickering of the younger ninja. "Comedy act aside, I'm curious how you got the seal in every book. Seals can't be mass printed." Shikako smiled. "Well, you see-" Naruto finally erupted.
"PERVY SAGE! What did you do to Shikako!?"
AN: I made a thing and words fell out. Send help.8/19/2015 #142
LOL. Ryu and Daichi. She wrote yaoi? But of course, it was targeted to female audience.
I remembered in canon where Sakura comically have nosebleed seeing Naruto's pervert jutsu (which transformed into Sasuke and Sai).
And it was Hinata who keep the book. Seems like Sakura isn't the only closet pervert.8/19/2015 . Edited 8/19/2015 #143
LOL. Yes. She would write yaoi. That is brilliant. I laughed pretty hard while reading that. Beating Jiraiya at his game. And Kakashi knew?!8/19/2015 #144
This is GREAT! I really want this to happen now... dear lord, I can just see her being all snooty about the quality of porn and everything about the book is discussed in very literature-dry, cold-cut manner.
Can we see an omake where Kakashi realizes Shikako is the writer? I can just see him going "Fuck, I heard it's good, but... my student wrote it. *Feels queasy*".
And finally, light hearted AU/Omakes!!!!8/19/2015 #145
|Mercy Of Baal
Redshirt Army. We aren't sending help. We are going to send an ANBU to lock you up until you write at least 100k words of that.
We'll send you cookies though.8/19/2015 #146
: a person whose sexual behavior is considered not normal or acceptable
: one whose sexual behavior differs from the accepted norm
I see nothing perverted in writing or reading porn.
Three years later, Shikako's a renowned porn writer, surpassing Icha-icha series. Jiraiya groaned.
Actually, who knows, writing could be a good, controlled outlet for that upcoming hormone rush.
Funny thing about the moment Shikamaru would realise his sister wrote that.. well, there is a question of where exactly did she get the material. If I were her team-mate I would run for the Land of Grass.
Jiraiya's in bigger trouble, but yeah, Sasuke better board himself up in the Uchiha Compound with a few years worth of food if he wishes to live.8/20/2015 #149
So... the latest chapter for DoS... Guesses on what Shikako did with that pinpoint of concentration? I'm thinking she split her shadow off. Thoughts?8/22/2015 #150
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