Heh. I like the idea of the bijuu all having a bimonthly meeting to talk about how best to protect their smol sister, and the idea that Shukaku suddenly acting sane means that something's up (see OOC Is Serious Business). The part about how Shukaku and Matatabi dyed Kurama with grape juice and blamed it on Gyuki made me laugh.

Additionally, please picture this poor child dealing with all of them.

"Reiko, these are your aunts and uncles. They're giant demon beasts made of chakra. They've all killed a lot of people, but they're better now."

And then foisting babysitting duty off onto them. (Four-year-old Reiko gets away from her watchers and runs around in Konoha. Shikako is not pleased when she returns from her mission to find out that nine massive chakra demons couldn't keep track of one child. "You had ONE JOB.")

I'm pretty sure it's spelled Matatabi, not Matabi, but other than that the grammars look good.

When Operative Little-spot heard that she was needed specifically for a mission, her first thought had been that she would be asked to provide a distraction for Primary Alert!-Shikako or her friends, so as to prevent them from breaking the deer's cover and revealing the long-going prank to the Family. As it turned out, she was providing a distraction... just not the sort that she had imagined.

"Spot, spot, spot, spot!" the small human-fawn chirped from her perch on Little-spot's back. With every "spot", a fat finger poked one of the small white dots that had given Little-spot her name. "Spot spotty spot!"

Little-spot wondered why human-dog-Kakashi couldn't have lent a few of his pack to watch this small thing. Puppies were fluffier than deer, right? She sighed and bent her neck to eat a plant. Yummy, she thought, and wondered if the human-fawn might like to try some. Said human-fawn, who had moved on from poking to petting, looked content; Little-spot decided that maybe, just maybe, this mission wasn't so bad after all.

(Later, when faced with nine angry-worried-panicked chakra beasts, she would change her mind. Still, Primary Alert!-Shikako's gratitude was worth it, as was the personal commendation by Prince Bent-antler for her courage in the face of almost-definite death. Operative Little-spot's mission record remained unblemished, the Family remained blissfully unaware, and she and the human-fawn remained unharmed. It was, she later decided, a good day.)

*sniggers* Deer fluff is excellent, thank you.

(Spirit Sage family now contains nine chakra beasts, three demi-god humans, one human family pet, and one half sentient-stone child. We also have Sage Daddy Hagoromo, Uncle Who Lives on the Moon Hamura, Very Problematic Uncle Zetsu, and Batshit Rabbit Grandma Kaguya. Who else should we be adding to this madness?)

Ok, just randomly interjecting but when you mentioned landlords, my mind immediately went into a really stupid au where all these people are living in one apartment complex. Specifically Naruto's complex. Yes, even the other Jinchurikis from other villages. So Naruto just now has a bunch of neighbours out of nowhere including:

• The rest of the rookies Team Gai and Sakura since, once again, it's basically a home away from home with places all over the place where noone is living so free rooms to do whatever
• The Jinchuriki's who are there for some reason realize the building is in pretty good shape and fairly private. Odd how no one is living there aside from some kids and the other adults who are rarely a bother.
• Several ANBU who realized that no civilians really go there so it's private and also where a person (Naruto) they're supposed to protect lives so hey there's that. And then other people who they need to keep an eye on also live there so how convenient
• Then the sensei's pop in every so often because now we know where to find their students

I don't know, I just found this amusing to me for some reason.

@dona Kurama has to admit (privately, never out loud) that at least his current accommodations are better than to being nailed and chained to a mental-spiritual rock for decades. And in terms of being close to the kiddies, he has prime real estate. Doesn't stop him from complaining to anyone and everyone, though.

@Ttran Pitch that in the Recursive Thread, I don't think they've had an Apartment AU yet. It would be cool! (And every fandom needs at least one Apartment AU and one Cafe AU.)

Reiko's paternity is an awkward conversation considering that mission was classified out the wazoo.

Tiny not-fluffy Blessings Headcanon: The Raikage must think of Konoha as the least subtle ninja village ever. Just look at the members of Team 7: the Uchiha they failed to kidnap, the Nara they failed to kidnap, an Uzumaki who is definitely not related to the Uzumaki they failed to kidnap (do they think Kumo is run by idiots?), and the Hatake famous for cutting a Kumo lightning jutsu with another lightning jutsu. It's such an obvious "f*** you", he's surprised they didn't make an excuse to put the Hyuuga they failed to kidnap on the team for a complete set.

The other villages might not notice, but Kumo knows better. Konoha is a f***ing ostentation of peacocks. How they're still alive and well is a mystery for the ages. (Uzumaki's other parent, the Kyuubi, and the Sage blessings surprise him not at all. F***ing. Peacocks.)

Wait, you've all been talking about Shikako 's child with gelel, and I just wanted to ask what page was this Fic written? Like, is it a new idea or is it an established Fic? Thanks

Quoting from dancing-songbird (post #1500, previous page of this thread):

Just as a note. Reiko is from the Recursive Thread, a snippet now expanded to a fic called Sunshine and Starlight by klondigirl.

(I don't know the page on the Recursive Thread, but a search of the title should get you the stand-alone fic.)

Bwhaha. Moonlit, that headcanon is AMAZING. Love it.

Glad you loved it! Because now I'm going to try and kill you! WITH FEELS AND PAIN AND SUFFERING! BWAHAHAHA!

Warning: Complete bastardization of the Tsukuyomi ahead. Let's just retcon that genjutsu as a general Mangekyo skill, for the sake of this scene.

He knows they're going to fail - it's obvious to anyone with eyes and a working brain. They're going to fail, Naruto's going to be taken, and there's nothing he can do about it.

(Kakashi-sensei is hurt, maybe dying. Uchiha genjutsu, he'd heard someone mutter. It's horrible and true - what else could bring down Sensei? And that man is after Naruto, and no one was doing anything, why were they just standing around and waiting?)

He can see everything, Sharingan perfectly perceiving how utterly outclassed they are. Shikako is fast, but the masked man (the one who might have killed Sensei) is infinitely faster. And literally untouchable, as his shuriken pass harmlessly and without resistance through his neck. He watches as Naruto's clones at the other end of the alley are popped harmlessly, one after another, by a chakra-absorbing sword.

He watches (and feels, very painfully) as the masked man kicks him almost completely out the alley and pushes Shikako against the wall by the throat. He can see the chakra gathering at his eye. He knows what comes next (he's seen his brother cast enough genjutsu to know what comes next).

In a moment of clarity, he realizes that no one will be fast enough to stop this. Not Naruto, not Sensei, not Jiraiya, and not his brother.

Because they (Sensei, Jiraiya, his brother, his father, his mother, anyone) are not here. And Naruto isn't fast enough. Sasuke, though, he's the fastest of his teammates. His fingers form the seals. His chakra flares.

(He'll always remember, with the perfect recall of a fully-realized Sharingan, that he didn't hesitate. Not for a moment, not long enough to be scared. It's the same as back on the bridge, seeing a hail of senbon coming for Naruto. He never made a decision to move his body - it moved on its own. He knows, has always known, that if any of his team have to die, it will be him first.)

There's a pull, a sense of displacement, and-

(Shikako stumbles, unprepared for the Replacement but eyes wide with shock and new horror.)

- and he stares as a swirling mask bleeds out to black and red.

(Itachi eats through his chakra reserves on the run to Otafuku-Gai. He has to get there, has to beat Sasuke and Shikako, has to warn Naruto and Jiraiya.

He left Konoha too late and he's run too slow, even as he zeroes in on his brother's chakra. His eyes memorize the way the masked man has Shikako by the neck and the speed with which Sasuke pulls off the Replacement.

He doesn't recognize the sound he makes when (foolish, stupidly brave, too young, his little brother) Sasuke starts screaming, but that doesn't matter. He's too slow to separate that man's head from his body, too slow to prevent their retreat. But Jiraiya shoves Sasuke (still screaming, please stop screaming, I'm sorry) into his arms and tells him to run.

He runs. As fast as his legs can carry him, he runs.)

(It's only in hindsight and only because of the Sharingan that he'll remember crying the entire time. The stabbing pain in his eyes was by far the least important thing that happened that day.)

Because Shisui didn't die, Itachi needs a Mangekyo, Konoha needs to have it drilled into their skulls that Sasuke is a good f***ing person (Danzo can't exactly capitalize on the evil-masked-Uchiha-as-part-of-a-possible-conspiracy theory when mini-Madara takes one for the team with Jiraiya as a witness), and there's nothing that says I can't completely overturn DOS canon is for maximum drama.

Kakashi's Tsukuyomi was watching all his teammates die. Over and over and over. (Because Obito is cruel when he's crazy and evil.) Sasuke's, which was meant for Shikako, was a more generic torture one. (Or not, if you guys have more creative ideas.) Tobi/Obito intended to make Shikako a vegetable/coma patient and take her along with Naruto for that sweet Sage chakra. In this case, Kakashi and Sasuke's Sharingans probably actually did save their lives/minds.

Yay peoples heads are adopting Reiko! Although, Reiko would be totally obliviously fine with a bunch of giant demon beasts claiming a familial relationship. Why would she think that would be strange? lol....could be amusing in its own way.

And Reiko is not a 'child' child she is physically about 12 same as Shikako when she encountered gelel... and she is mostly not human, except as a sort of psychosomatic thing... so she might not physically age unless something makes her think she should...I was gonna wait till the third chapter of my other fic was done to do the next chapters of this...but...oooo

Y'know, I'm almost glad you got there before me, Moonlit. This thread was sharing happy thoughts for too long. We can't have that. Apparently. ;P

but now I am sad because there won't be a smol!Reiko well, maybe there should be... and I really desperately need someone to make a 'born yesterday' joke.... and I am essentially babbling to myself on a public forum now...

It is a little known fact that I am actually a creature of darkness that subsists on the tears of my unsuspecting victims. I have an evil maniacal laugh and everything. I only encourage happy thoughts to deepen the pain when I inevitably scoop out everyone's hearts with a spoon.

But actually, I was bored so I started thinking about Tsukuyomi in Blessings!Verse. And I thought, you know, Sasuke as the original target just doesn't make sense. Without Itachi, Tobi/Obito is the last evil Uchiha we have. He doesn't have a personal reason to treat any of the kids differently, but Shikako is the wild card in this generation. Taking her out of the equation is a sound tactical decision. Sasuke switching with her then naturally follows - I mean, he was totally ready to die in Naruto's place with Haku. And that's in canon, even!

And then I remembered that Itachi actually might not have a Mangekyo in this Verse and...yeah. It kind of wrote itself. :D

@klondigirl Babbling to myself on a public forum is what I do too, no shame here. My angst bombs don't need to be the only thing we talk about. :)

No, I think that's a good logical conclusion/continuation of the butterflies.

It actually gels kinda well with this idea I had earlier this morning. If you've ever read or watched Rurouni Kenshin (spoilers, ish?) one of the villains fakes Kaoru's (the main girl's) death to get revenge on Kenshin (the main guy) for the villain's sister's death. I could totally see mad!Obito targetting (for real or for fake) Shikako specifically to fuck Kakashi up, preferably by putting a hand through her chest, like Rin. So, maybe Obito's secondary plan was Kakashi wakes up from his torture coma of watching his teammates die, to find out his girl student got put into a torture coma, was kidnapped and now at least one of his students is probably dead, if not two. Because Obito's a bastard like that, when he doesn't have any weird soul marks to temper him/make him a creeper instead of a sadist.

...And, that never sent. Dang it.

I remember that story arc in Rurouni Kenshin - probably the arc that stuck with me the most from that series, to be honest. It didn't occur to me that an Obito active so early in the story would do something similar...but yeah, I can totally see it now. Man, Obito is such a versatile bad guy! And sometimes a versatile good guy, as you demonstrated previously. ;) Hail to Obito, the problematic fav!

(Posting late is better than posting never~)

Follow-up Headcanon-y things: Itachi gets Sasuke to the hospital before Jiraiya (following at a much more sustainable pace) gets to the gates. Sasuke gets admitted and whisked away, Itachi makes to follow...and unceremoniously collapses from chakra exhaustion right in the hospital lobby. Fortunately, Jiraiya arrives before things have more time to spiral out of control.

(Jiraiya is pretty sure that Mikoto and Fugaku are plotting his demise during the debriefing. He can't even really blame them because a genin took a torture genjutsu to the face on his watch. That said, "If looks could kill" is NOT meant to be that literal.)

When Jiraiya and Naruto leave to track down Tsunade, Shikako insists on coming. She was the intended target of the Tsukuyomi - she might be in as much danger as Naruto, and Jiraiya is currently the strongest ninja Konoha can claim to have. It makes sense for him to guard them both rather than risk splitting Akatsuki's attention and invite them back to Konoha. (In truth, she can't just sit home and do nothin - it was supposed to be her in that hospital bed, canon be damned.) (Meta: And unlike DOS Sasuke, she won't throw herself at the evil Uchiha if they run into him, so they can't immediately dismiss her request to go.)

Shisui volunteers himself as a second guard. (Because the Uchiha and the Nara do not particularly trust Jiraiya to actually keep an eye on the kids anymore; Shikaku and Fugaku cannot leave the village; Mikoto won't leave Sasuke; Yoshino knows she can't just leave Shikamaru; and Itachi is grounded until he calms the f*** down gets his feet back under him.) Outside of the clan head's family, Shisui is arguably the strongest active-duty Uchiha. Definitely the fastest and most skilled with genjutsu. It's a natural choice.

(Shisui is also subtly giving Jiraiya the evil eye the entire trip. It gets less unsettling.)

Edit: TYPO! I meant "It never gets less unsettling."

BWHAHA. Jiraiya's on the Uchiha shit lists foreeeeever now. And Itachi needing to calm the fuck down is great. Oh man, road trip with Shikako and Shisui to balance Jiraiya out could be really interesting. Shikako's goign to be soooo Will of Fire'd out ny the end, though.

Let's consider Madara's level of grudge holding for a minute and how the Uchiha usually react to their loved ones being hurt.

I mean, let's consider Obito's canon level of grudge holding. Callie's joke is really NOT an exaggeration.

Uchiha can hold grudges like nobody else.

"Grandpa, why do we hate Jir--"

"Do not speak that name. Cursed be the Toad Bastard. What he did to our family shall never be forgotten."

"But Grandpa--"

"You'll understand when you're older."

And I just had a thought-- what if Extreme Grudge Holding was an Uchiha bloodline? Orochimaru takes over Sasuke's body, only to have an uncontrollable urge to find and kill Itachi.

(Also, why oh why does formatting not work on mobile?)

Yeah, it's pretty inconvenient that formatting doesn't work on the mobile.

But I'm trying something right now, at the end of the page there is a link to change into the Computer/Desktop mode.

Maybe in this mode it'll allow me to format.

Or it's another wall of text. Hopefully not xD

It worked!!

Oh and at the top of the page there is a mobile sign, if you click on that you will go back to the mobile version of the site :)

Double checking now.

Come on, we need to be able to space.