Pretty self explanatory. xD2/14/2017 #1
A slow, deep ache was burning in Josh's chest, and he didn't like it.
He reached up with the hand not holding a beer and rubbed at his chest with a deep frown, his brows furrowing in a mix of frustration, pain and anger. He sighed roughly and allowed his eyes to shut, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. There was only one situation when he felt this way, in this kind of pain. Only one.
He only got this type of ache when she was in pain, or in danger. And the two happened pretty damn frequently, more frequently than Josh would like. He wondered if she felt the same sort of pain when he was upset, or angry, or hurting. He doubted it. Carrie acted like she didn't feel a damn thing, and he was starting to believe that she was some sort of fucking Ice Queen that could block all of this soulmate bullshit out.
He sucked in a breath and shook his head. He was at a party, for God's sake, he should be having fun and getting drunk.
But here he was, tipsy, chest aching as he thought of his soulmate. It didn't make matters any better that he knew she was at the same goddamn party, that she was probably less than fifty feet away from him. Her pretty, perfect legs were probably wrapped around another dude's waist, her body being rocked into by some fucktard with a better GPA than he had.
He snarled, loudly enough that his buddies all raised a brow, and slammed his beer back. He reached for another immediately, growling to himself. He wanted to have fun, and he wanted to stop thinking about Carrie. She didn't want him, didn't need him, and he should stop fucking worrying about her.2/14/2017 #2
Five shots and countless gin-and-tonics into the night, Carrie wondered if the room would ever stop spinning. She felt as light as a feather, like she could just drift away and nobody would be the wiser. The dance floor was crowded and sweaty, and Carrie was directly in the middle of it all, toned arms wrapped around the neck of her newest conquest.
He was a business major. All serious, no time for fun and games. He wore the bottom half of a suit with a button-up shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows. Carrie was almost certain he had a jacket at some point, but it was long gone. He had been too pretentious to dance with her three drinks ago. Now neither of them cared. He kissed her, and she was too drunk not to respond. Even though his mouth tasted stale and his lips were chapped and he kissed her way too hard, she pressed her body up against his, feeling the hardness growing against her stomach, knowing what she was doing to him.
"Fuck, baby, I'm going to take you right here," he growled, grabbing her ass, pulling her against him. Carrie just giggled and laid her head against his shoulder. He took that as a sign to take things even further, so he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his hips and carried her through the crowd, pressing her hard against the bar, grabbing her wrists and pinning them there, gripping hard enough to bruise.
He kissed her again, and their teeth clashed this time. Carrie flinched and tried to twist away.
"Ow," she slurred, but he grabbed her jaw and kissed her again, shoving his tongue past her lips. She made a noise of protest and tried to pull away.
"You coy bitch," he hissed in her ear. "I should fuck you in front of everyone, let them know how desperate you are."
"Stop!" She protested, but he turned her around and bent her forcefully against the bar, pushing her skirt up and trying to force his hand between her legs. Carrie struggled, tried to kick at him, push him away, but she was too drunk and he held her fast, pinning her in place with one hand and fumbling for his belt with the other.2/14/2017 #3
Josh gasped out the words, doubling over and clutching at his chest. He flinched and sucked in deep breaths as he squished the beer can in his hand. The pain was bad, really fucking bad, and that didn't bode well for his soulmate. He blinked slowly, trying to regain some sort of footing when he heard her.
It was from a few feet away, muffled by the sounds of other drunks and music and all sorts of questionable noises, but to Josh the panicked protest of his soulmate was crystal fucking clear.
Before he could realize what he was doing, he was moving. And when he saw the guy with his hand between Carrie, his Carrie's legs, with her trying desperately to get away? He saw red. Nothing but fucking red.
He snarled and grabbed the back of the guys button up, yanking him back and subsequently on his ass. Before he had time to react, Josh was on him, throwing hit after hit, feeling and seeing blood but having no want to stop. He was gathering a crowd and he knew it, but he couldn't bring himself to care. The ache in his chest was beginning to subside, and he only felt better knowing this douchebag couldn't hurt Carrie.
Then it stopped.
His buddies were with him, one pulling him up and holding him back as a few more stood the douchebag guy up and led his half conscious ass out of the fucking place. Josh still wanted to kick his teeth in.
But instead, he turned and looked at Carrie. He made his way over and touched her shoulder, his eyes full of nothing but concern for her. He may be tipsy, but she was fucking hammered.
"Did he hurt you, Carrie?" His voice still held a bit of his anger, but it was soft and gentle as his eyes flicked over her, trying desperately to make sure that she was alright. If she wasnt, if the fucker actually gotten his grubby hands on her, Josh might actually kill the son of a bitch. He doubted anyone could stop him.2/14/2017 #4
"Fuck!" Carrie swore softly when a two-hundred-pound blur knocked her assailant off his feet. She turned around, pressing her back to the bar in horror when she realized that it was, in fact, Josh, who had the guy on the floor and was punching his lights out. "Stop! Stop it!" She cried, having to clutch at the bar for support. She hadn't realized just how drunk she was until this very moment. But Josh. This wasn't the first time this had happened. God dammit.
Of all the meatheads in the world to be her soulmate, it had to be him? Sure, he was hot, but he had this weird power complex. Especially when he was beating up her potential boyfriends. Not that this guy was anywhere close to that, especially not after what he'd done, but Josh tended to punch first and ask questions later. He was so brutish, so... infuriating. Why, then, did she only ever feel right when he was around?
He had drawn quite the crowd by the time his buddies were able to pull him off the other guy. Carrie didn't care what happened to her stupid business student at this point. She was ready to go home and pass out.
Then Josh came up and touched her shoulder, and Carrie shrugged his hand away, looking at him with fire in her eyes.
"What the hell, Josh?" She snapped, words slurred, reflexes slow. Something flipped over in her stomach. She didn't feel good at all. She needed to go. Right now. She wanted to say more, but she just turned on her heel and fled through the crowd, heading for the exit. The gravity of the situation seemed to hit her all at once, and she needed the fresh night air, hoping it would make the waves of nausea and the pounding in her head fade.2/14/2017 #5
"God fucking damn it, Carrie!"
He roared the words after her, his chest heaving after damn near physically assaulting the other man. He didn't care, though. She bolted away from him, but he didn't care. He refused to let her get away that easy. This wasn't the first time that this shit happened, but it would be the goddamn last.
He followed her out the door, almost chuckling at the way the party goers made a path for him.
Good. They should be scared of him.
When she made it out the door, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her in close, then grabbed her other one. He looked down at her, still breathing heavy. He was a little drunk and high on adrenaline, his hazel eyes dark and on fire as he looked down at her.
"Why do you always pull this fucking shit, Carrie?!" He snapped. "That fucker could have hurt you! He was trying to hurt you!"
He knew this wouldn't end well. She'd bark right back at him and insist on walking back to her apartment, and he normally would have let her. But not tonight. Tonight he was pissed, and he refused to let this happen another time. He wasn't letting her go without making her realize the gravity of this situation. Then he'd walk her home, or stumble rather, and make sure she was okay before he drank himself half to death.2/14/2017 #6
Carrie flinched when he shouted after her. He followed her. Of course he did. But Carrie was too drunk to stop him. When she got out into the night she leaned up against the brick wall of the club. The street was crowded with people smoking and couples making out against the wall. She had barely noticed him come out behind her until he grabbed her wrist, pulled her toward him. She nearly screamed. Her nerves were too on edge after what happened in there.
"That doesn't mean you had to go all... Die Hard on him!" She cried. "What are you, the Terminator? You almost killed him!"
It scared her, how easily he could get so angry and hurt people. She knew it was only because he was so protective, but it worried her. What if someday he got that angry with somebody who was powerless to defend themselves? What if someday, he got that angry with her?
Her stomach flipped again, and Carrie tried to turn away, pulling at his grip.
"You're hurting me," she insisted softly, her words slurred together. He wasn't, but she hoped it would get him to let her go so she could get away.2/14/2017 #7
"You're full of shit." He deadpanned the words, too angry and too worried to give a fuck about being sweet or gentle at the moment. He let out a barking, sarcastic laugh, tossing his head back for a moment. "Me? Hurting you? Oh please, Carrie, cut the bullshit."
He gave her wrists a tug. He would never put her in harm's way or hurt her, but she needed to be reminded that he was a hell of a lot bigger and stronger than he was. And while he was there, holding onto her, he refused to let her go. He sucked in a deep breath and held both of her wrists in one hand, the other coming up to take her chin. He forced his eyes on hers, his expression screaming for her to realize what was happening.
"Did he hurt you?" He repeated.
He needed to know. He was still on edge, his body nearly shaking from the adrenaline rushing through him. If that motherfucker managed to do something to her in the moments before Josh caught him, he'd kill the man. He'd find him and kill him.2/14/2017 #8
Carrie stumbled forward a little when he tugged her wrists, letting out a whine of protest. So it didn't work. He took her chin, and she paused for a moment, giving him a sincere look, her baby blue eyes wide. Somewhere deep down inside, there was a part of her that liked this angry, possessive part of him. But it was buried, and she was hell-bent on keeping it there.
Her stomach lurched, and this time it was real. Carrie yanked herself violently away from him, not managing to break her wrists free, but thankfully managing to get her chin out of his grip before she threw up all over his hands. She doubled over and retched, emptying the contents of her stomach onto the pavement between them. A rather amorous couple noticed and recoiled, causing other people to turn and grimace at the hammered little princess who couldn't keep it in.
She was going to regret this in the morning. For now, all she could do was groan and stumble backwards a little, doing her best to skirt around the puddle of vomit. Her cheeks flushed. At least her stomach had settled, now that it was empty.2/14/2017 #9
Josh sighed roughly as she puked. He ducked his head the tiniest bit and managed to move fast enough to gently take hold of her hair and keep it out of her face. As pissed as he was at her, he respected Carrie. And that damn bond made him feel something for her. So he would take care of her.
When she was done throwing up and he was convinced she wouldn't run off, he reached down and pulled his hoodie, then his tshirt off. Using the tshirt as a napkin he cupped her face and wiped it clean of the slight sweat and whatever else was on her face before he tossed it away. He pulled his hoodie over her head and leaned down.
"Come on, Carrie. Lets get you home."
He knew she wouldn't like his next moves, but he didn't fucking care.
He reached down and placed one arm under her back, the other going under her knees. He lifted her up into his arms bridal style, holding her close as he began walking. From one of their many fights, he knew that her apartment was just down the street. He'd get her their safe, and maybe return to the club and try to salvage this fucking night.2/14/2017 #10
Carrie felt bad for narrowly missing Josh's shoes when she puked. Later on, she would foggily remember this night and wish that she had aimed for his perfect sneakers. As for right now, she felt ashamed enough, listening to the way he sighed and watching him angrily strip down to wipe her face with his t-shirt. Her eyes roved over his toned body for a moment. She was too drunk not to admire him, even if she was angry at him.
"No," she protested weakly, despite the fact that he picked her up anyway. "Put me down. I'm still mad at you." She was slurring, but she laid her head against his shoulder as he walked away from the crowded street.
"How come you beat up all my boyfriends?" She sighed, getting that pained look on her face she always did after a night of drinking. Drinking left her depressed, and if he was lucky enough she would be apologizing in tears by the time they got back to her apartment. Carrie liked to pretend she could still be glamorous when she was drunk, but she always ended up crying when she got past tipsy. Always. "I mean... I didn't think this guy was gonna be... but still," she sighed. She dangled her arms down toward the ground as he walked, pulling the sleeves of his sweatshirt down over her hands.
"I'm such a fucking slut," she mumbled. "But you're a dick. Such a dick. Why you gotta be so mean all the time, huh?"2/14/2017 #11
She wouldn't remember this. Josh was sure of that. And if she did, well fuck, he'd deny every word he said.
He sighed roughly and shifted her around gently in his arms so that he could glance down at her every now and again while they walked. She was beautiful. Even while she was drunk and sad and pissed off at him, his soulmate was nothing less than supermodel worthy. And he was proud of that, at least. He couldn't keep her happy, they were always getting drunk and he was always trying to save her, but she was beautiful.
He pursed his lips for a moment, before he answered her question.
"Because I love you, Carrie." His heart ached at those words, the words he knew weren't echoed by her own feelings. But he continued. "I fucking love your annoying little ass. And the powers that be or Jesus or God or whoever the fuck decided that we need to be together. So I'll keep beating up your boyfriends, you'll get mad and yell at me, and I'll be a mean dick that tries his best to save you."
He shrugged as though that cycle didn't affect him as badly as it did.
"It's what we do."2/14/2017 #12
"No you don't," Carrie denied, a little too quickly. "You don't love me. Your counter and my counter hit zero at the same time, but that doesn't mean fucking anything. Just because... biology says we're supposed to be together." She closed her eyes, reaching up and pressing the heels of her hands into them, taking a slow, deep breath. Her chest felt tight, and she couldn't quite calm down.
He was mean. He was angry. Carrie had seen Josh punch more people out than maybe anybody ever. He was constantly humiliating her by coming to her 'rescue' even when the guy turned out to be half decent. More than one potential relationship had been ruined by the jock who was supposed to be her soulmate. And she understood the jealousy thing, but really? Where was his logic? Maybe if he hospitalized enough guys he'd be the only one left so she'd have to love him?
"You shouldn't love me," she insisted, her voice low, trembling. She was seconds away from losing it and turning into the blubbering mess she always did. "You can't love me. I can't deal with this forever. Why don't you deal with it the same way I do? Go find s-somebody else to fuck."
At the end of the day, he was the one carrying her home, not any of her so-called friends. He was the one who always took her home, made sure she was safe, took care of her. And deep down, Carrie knew this was meant to work out. She knew that she'd been in a dark place before they met. She knew that he had practically saved her life when they met and her mental health issues bled away with every class they shared, every party they went to. Just being in the same room as him lifted her spirits in a way that Carrie wasn't ready to accept.2/14/2017 #13
"I do." He wasn't even angry, just completely and utterly sure of his words. He had no reason to. She consistently didn't want him around, didn't want anything to do with him. She treated him like he was a big, scary wolf and she was a terrified little bunny. But that was how he dealt with her rejection, with her anger. He was an asshole back, an angry, alcoholic asshole.
When she began to cry, he flinched.
He shifted her around once more so that his arms were around her waist, her legs on either side of him. Instead of simply carrying her, he was holding her, hugging her close in a weak attempt to provide the comfort that she desperately didn't want from him.
"I don't want to." He whispered back. "I don't want anybody else, Carrie. I'm head over fucking heels in love with you, and I don't know how to cope with it."
When he knew she was close to losing it, he flinched again and turned his face. He paused in walking, raising a hand to gently push his face into her neck and in turn, push her's into his. "Fuck, Carrie, come on. Don't do that to me. Don't cry."
He hated when Carrie cried. This wouldn't be the first time she'd done it in front of him, but it didn't make it any more bearable for him. His chest began to ache again. This time it wasn't from her being in danger, it was from her sadness. It was from the fact that he knew he wasn't helping her with it, that he was just making it worse.2/14/2017 #14
It got even worse when he knew she was about to cry. When he knew she as about to cry, he was as soft as silk, and it was so much harder to keep it together. She burst into tears when he buried his face into her neck, throwing her arms around his neck and sobbing into his shoulder. She needed to lose it when things like this happened. She felt so much, and she spent so much time being so confused that whenever her inhibitions were lowered her emotions came surging forth like a waterfall.
"You're not," she protested weakly. "You're not in love with me. You j-just don't want anyone else to have me." He was so strong and solid underneath her, his arms wrapped so tightly around her. It was hard not to feel something for him when he was holding her so tenderly. He was always so nice to her. She hated it. He was so awful to the guys who didn't know to stay away- it had only taken a few seconds for him to beat this bastard within an inch of his life- and then he could turn around and be so nice to her. She didn't understand. It wasn't fair.
"I just wanna go home," she slurred softly, holding him tightly, sniffling against his strong form. "Stop being so nice to me."
She said awful things to him when she was drunk. She knew she did, and she always regretted it. Especially when he was still so kind to her in return. She had no idea the kinds of things it did to him. But she could always feel it when he walked away, that sinking ache in her chest. That pain she always felt- the same one she was responsible for causing.2/14/2017 #15
Though she claimed to not want him there, he knew damn well she needed him there. When she threw her arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder, he rubbed her back and closed her eyes, pretending for those few short moments that she didn't hate him, that they were together, and that she wanted him to stay.
And then she opened her mouth.
He sighed a bit and began to walk again, pulling his face from her neck. At her words he shrugged. "I'm in love with you. You're a mean drunk, Carrie, and you like denying whatever the fuck I say, but you know I wouldn't lie to you." He never would. Especially when she was this vulnerable. Josh was an ass, but he truly loved Carrie. Sometimes he didn't know why the fuck he did, but he loved her. He couldn't, and wouldn't ever doing anything to hurt her.
When she said that she wanted to go home, he simply nodded.
They were just outside of her apartment. He opened the outside door and climbed up the stairs, pausing outside her door. "Where's your key, Care?" He asked softly, his chest aching more. He was going to have to leave her here, by herself again. And he didn't like that thought.2/14/2017 #16
"I don't know. Don't leave me," Carrie insisted softly as he carried her up the stairs. She had no idea why she asked him to stay. Maybe it didn't have anything to do with him. Maybe she just sensed how vulnerable she felt and knew it would be dangerous to be alone tonight. She had done stupid things in the past when she got too drunk and depressed all by herself. But that was back before she had ever met Josh. Back before this game ever started.
Her purse was dangling off of one shoulder, a tiny little bag attached to a thin chain. She pulled it up by the strap and dug around inside of it, finding the key nestled safely inside. It was a safety precaution she always took when she was going out drinking, to tuck it into an extra little zippered pocket. Dainty purses like this were easy to empty by accident, especially when she got this drunk. Losing her key was not an option.
"Stay," she insisted quietly, pressing the key into his hand, knowing she was going to owe him big time in the morning. But that didn't matter. "I have whiskey. You can drink here. Just don't leave me alone."
She knew it would hurt him to have to hang around. She knew she was hurting him every time she did this, every time she said awful things to him and told him to go away. But this time she needed him here. She didn't care if she was pissed off at him or if he hated her. Even if he claimed to feel quite the opposite.2/14/2017 #17
He closed his eyes and let his head drop back as he heard her words. The minute her soft, sweet, gentle voice said those goddamn fucking words, Josh knew he was royally fucked. He should take her inside, straight to her bed, tuck her in and let her sleep, head back to his place to drown himself in booze. But he couldn't say no to her. And Carrie fucking knew it.
When she placed the key in his hand, speaking up once more to beg him softly to stay, he nodded and pressed his lips against her forehead. He squeezed his eyes shut, cursing himself for being such a fucking softie when it came to Carrie, before he pulled back and put the key in the lock, unlocking the door and pushing it open.
"Alright, Carrie." He said, as if there had been a choice. "I'll stay."
He moved inside and kicked his shoes off by the door, nudging it closed. He flicked lights on as he made his way to the couch, gently laying her down. He hovered over her, looking down at her for a bit and just taking her in. He raised a hand, gently pushing her hair out of her face. He sighed roughly.
"God, I fucking love you, Carrie."
He stayed there for another beat or two before he straightened up and made his way to the kitchen. Water. She needed water, or she'd be even worse in the morning. And he couldn't just let her suffer.2/14/2017 #18
It made Carrie's heart ache to hear him say it to her like that. He sounded like he was in so much pain, and she looked away as he straightened up.
"I know," she mumbled quietly. When he was around the corner she rolled over, kicking off her heels and pulling herself to her feet. She needed to get out of her slutty party clothes. Even a drunk Carrie knew that would make her feel better. She leaned on the furniture as she staggered into her bedroom, wiggling out of her tight dress and finding some more comfortable clothes.
She was pulling a sweatshirt down over the black lace of her bra when she made her way back out into the living room, paired with a pair of short boxer shorts that hung low on her hips. She collapsed onto the couch again, curling up, feeling numb. She lifted her hand, inspecting the inside of her wrist where the faded numbers still were. 00:00:00:00. They had pulsed with a strange sort of warmth once before, the numbers always counting down.
But after they hit zero they faded to a dull black, like a tattoo that had always been there. Somebody somewhere had decided that Josh was the one. Josh himself seemed to agree. Carrie felt the same way, somewhere in the deepest recesses of her mind. She knew every time she looked at him, every time she stupidly got drunk to make him take care of her. She said mean things to push him away in some desperate attempt at regaining control over her life. But it never worked, so she pulled him back in again instead. And so the cycle progressed.2/14/2017 #19
He grabbed her some cold water, his eyes flicking over to the whiskey.
He battled internally for a few moments. He could drink himself into a slightly numb stupor. He could make himself forget that Carrie fucking hated him, hated the idea of him, that she was scared of him, and that worst of all, she didn't want him. He could make it all go away with just a few gulps of that amber liquid. All of his problems could disappear, without a second thought.
He instead grabbed himself some cold water and took a long gulp, allowing his eyes to fall shut for the moment of peace he had. Now that he was staying here for the night, his chest no longer ached. He no longer felt anxious and panicky, he felt... kind of okay.
He shook his head.
Carrying her water, he made his way back to the living room just in time to see her lying there, still drunk as all hell, looking at the tattoos on her wrist. He made his way over to her and crouched down in front of her.
"Carrie," He gently called her attention to him, reaching out with his free hand to sit her up a bit. He pressed the glass to her lips. "Come on, sweetheart. You're gonna be fuckin' wrecked in the morning if you don't get some water in you."2/15/2017 #20
Carrie lifted her sad eyes to meet his as he came back over to the couch. She responded slowly, sitting up a little and reaching for the glass with both hands, tilting it back with his help and drinking. She took a few hearty gulps. It felt so good to drink something that didn't burn on the way down. But she got too eager and drank too quickly, and had to quickly push his hands away to cough up water that she accidentally inhaled.
He took such good care of her. She didn't get it. She couldn't get over it in her mind.
"How can you be so mean to them," she murmured, her voice weak and hoarse from coughing, "and so nice to me? It's not fair." She pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them and looking up at them. "I know you say you love me, but... why do you hate everybody else?"
She glanced back down at her wrist, pressing her thumb to the spot where the numbers still stood. She had tried to rub them away on numerous occasions, hoping to press the numbers back to life, make them count down a little further, fix the mistake they'd made. But there was no mistake. There never was. Josh was supposed to be her soulmate. And despite how afraid she was of him, she desperately needed him to stay by her side.
She silently reached for the glass of water again, holding it between both hands and tipping it slowly to her lips.2/15/2017 #21
She was sad, so sad. And that made Josh sad.
He lifted his shoulders up and dropped them at her words. His expression was unreadable as he reached forward and gently ran his fingers through her hair, trailing his fingers down until he cupped her cheek gently. He ran his thumb over her bottom lip, his eyes tender.
"I don't give a fuck about anyone else." He said quietly, honestly. "The whole goddamn world could burn to the ground, and I wouldn't give a shit as long as you were safe. I know it's not what you wanna hear, Carrie, but it's the truth." He shrugged again. "I know you don't want me, that you don't feel the same, and that's okay. But don't discount my feelings because you're not sure about yours."
He licked his lips. He was about to cross into dangerous territory. He knew he'd get hell for this in the morning, but fuck it. He always did. Might as well push his luck.
He reached forward and gently took her knees into his hands, pulling them down and spreading her legs. Slowly, giving her time to pull away, he moved between her legs. He took the glass from her hand and set it away from them, before he cupped her chin once more. His eyes never moved from hers, his face an inch or so away.
"I love you, Carrie." He breathed. His eyes became slightly lidded as he slowly brushed his lips against hers. Sparks flew through his body, setting him on fire, and he had to fight every goddamn urge in his body not to act on what he wanted to do. "I really, really fucking do."2/15/2017 #22
Carrie shivered when he ran his fingers through her hair. It felt good when he touched her, she had to admit. When he was close to her like this, she felt hot, just like she did around any guy she wanted to sleep with. The truth was, she wanted him. She would have fucked him if he'd done things right. But he loved her, and she couldn't bring herself to use him for pleasure like that. It wasn't fair when she didn't feel the same way.
He moved forward, then, and his warm hands were on the tender skin of her bare knees, spreading her legs, moving forward between them. Carrie swallowed thickly when he cupped her chin. She felt hot. She was aching. It had felt so good to feel him push her legs apart like that. She wanted more.
When he moved in close to her she closed her eyes, lips ever so slightly parted. This was wrong. This was so, so wrong. He told her he loved her and she couldn't say it back. She wanted him. She wanted him to fuck her in all kinds of different ways. But she didn't love him. Not yet, anyway.
In the end, she was the one who did it. She moved forward, kissing him fiercely, slipping her tongue past his lips. She was drunk, and it was a sloppy kiss. But she was pulling him down into her, giving in to the fire in her belly. He was hot. He'd always been hot. And maybe she couldn't love him back. But she could give him what he wanted.2/15/2017 #23
Josh wasn't stupid. He knew she wanted him, felt the sexual tension in the air the second he moved in closer and touched her. He could almost feel how pent up she was, all for him. It set something inside him on fire.
No matter how many men she fucked, how many times or how good it was in the moment, it didn't matter. They weren't Josh. It wasn't the lips, hands, dick, of her soulmate, so it would never satisfy her. Not really. Only Josh could really, thoroughly fuck Carrie, and leave her begging for more.
Somehow, that gave him a little leverage.
When she moved in and kissed him with all of the fucking passion in the world, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself. He groaned into the kiss, letting his eyes fall shut as he hovered his body over hers. He kissed her back, giving her every bit and piece of him in that kiss. He slowly ran his tongue along hers, exploring his mouth.
He threw caution to the wind and slid his hand up into the hoodie, underneath her bra, giving her breast a squeeze.
She was drunk and this was wrong, but Josh couldn't bring himself to care. Carrie needed him. And just like always, he'd be there to take care of her.2/15/2017 #24
Carrie whined loudly when he ran his tongue against the hot expanse of her mouth, pushing forward more and tangling her fingers into his hair. She pressed against him, not caring if she felt desperate to him. She was desperate. She had been aching for this for longer than even she knew, and all the casual sex in the world couldn't feel like sex with her soulmate. Even if she didn't love him.
"Ah," she pulled away when he pushed his hand up under her bra, needing to breathe.
"Josh," she moaned, and the way she said it was different from any way she'd ever spoken his name. It was soft, insistent, desperate, just a soft whimpering of his name that said fuck me. She pushed up into his hand, letting him cup the soft flesh of her breast in the confining material of her bra while she held him tightly to her. Her movements, her tone, everything about her was so goddamned needy. She was so needy right now. But it would be worth it.
"I need it," she whined insistently, tilting her head back, pushing her hips forward. "Hard. I need it hard. You're so fucking frustrating, Josh."2/15/2017 #25
Hard. She wanted it hard.
Josh could oblige.
He yanked his hand out of the hoodie and took the hem, pulling it up over her head and tossing it across the room. He reached behind her back and undid her bra, pulling that off and tossing that somewhere too. One hand moved up to tangle in her hair, tugging at it to pull her head back, exposing her neck to him. His lips found her neck, none too gently nipping and biting until her soft flesh was covered in bright red marks.
His lips slowly traveled down to her breasts, and the same happened there.
He wanted any man that got this close to her again to know that she, that all of this? It was all his.
"Tell me to stop." He said. His teeth closed around her nipple, tugging a bit, before he pulled back to elaborate. "Tell me to stop before I drag you into that goddamn bedroom."
He was a moment away from doing just that, and this was her only opportunity for her to stop it.2/15/2017 #26
Carrie flinched when he tugged her hoodie away from her body and she shivered for a moment, exposed to the cool air of the room. It only went further, though, and before she could say anything her bra was on the floor, too. Her nipples stiffened eagerly once they were exposed, and she yelped softly when he tugged her head back by the hair. It hurt, but it was the kind of pain she needed, just like the soft pinch of his teeth on the tender skin of her neck.
"Ah," she groaned. "A-ahh..." She reached up to grab his biceps, squeezing them tightly. This was bad, so bad. She should have been pushing him away. She should have been telling him to stop, that she didn't want him, not like this. But she did. It felt so good to be handled so roughly, and by him, too, the one who it was supposed to be like this with. Her body responded so easily to his touches- it was almost like her body knew what her heart didn't. They were meant to be together. When he trailed his lips down to her breasts her skin broke out in goosebumps.
She cried out even louder when he found her nipple, flinching at the soft pain of his teeth while she squeezed her hands tightly around his biceps.
"Don't stop," she moaned, sounding even more desperate by the minute. "Please."2/15/2017 #27
That was it. That desperate cry, begging him not to stop. It was what he needed.
He slid his hands underneath her ass and stood, hoisting her up with him. He carried her to her bedroom, his mouth going for hers once more. He shut his brain off. He didn't want to think about what was going to happen when this was over, or even when morning came. He didn't want to think about how vacant and empty he'd feel without her in the hours and days after this was all over.
He just wanted to make her feel better.
Once they got to the bedroom, he laid her down. His hands found his button of his jeans and he undid it, unzipping them and letting them fall to his feet. He kicked them away as he shoved his boxers down, moving to hover over her.
He should have asked her if she was sure, made sure she really wanted this. But he couldn't bring himself to do that.
Instead he took the boxers she wore and tugged them down, tossing them away. He moved between her legs, hovering over her body as he gazed down at her. He was rock fucking hard, ready to go.
"Ready?" He panted out. He could do more foreplay, but fuck, he didn't want to.2/15/2017 #28
This was dangerous. Carrie wasn't about to say no to anything. She was shameless in that moment, desperate to feel fulfilled, even if it meant hurting him later. She never would have agreed to this had she been sober. But she wasn't sober. She was very far from sober. And when he laid her down and tore her boxers away, she spread her legs, showing him the wet, aching arousal she had built up for him. She slipped her fingers down between her legs, spreading her folds for him, biting her lower lip as her eyes roved over his naked form.
"Fuck me," she urged softly. She knew it was going to hurt, but she wanted him to hurt her. She wanted him to fuck out all the frustration she caused him, all the pain. She deserved it. She wanted it. It was so fucked up to feel that way, but she didn't care.
Someday they would be able to draw things out, touch each other, do everything that good sex meant. But she was ready. And he was ready. And all she wanted was to feel him inside her, be filled by her soulmate, to feel him pounding himself out inside her.
She hitched her knees over his shoulders as he hovered over her, stretching her arms over her head, exposing herself to him. She was beyond shame at this point. She just wanted him hard, and fast, and now.2/15/2017 #29
This was wrong, so fucking wrong. But they were so past what was right and what was wrong at this point, and Josh couldn't bring himself to give a fuck. It was selfish behavior, but he needed this just as much as Carrie did. He needed her. And even though he knew damn well it was going to shatter him tomorrow morning, he couldn't stop himself.
She was soaked, needy, begging beneath him, and Josh couldn't bring himself to say no to her. He never could.
So instead, he leaned down and shoved his lips against hers just as he thrust himself into her. He let out a loud groan, pushing himself as deep as he could go before he paused, panting a bit against his lips. Not to be cocky but he knew he didn't have a small dick, he figured she'd probably have to adjust to him.
"Jesus fucking Christ, Care." He groaned out.
It felt like heaven.
Sex in general was one of Josh's favorite activities, but this? This took the fucking cake. He knew that it was because of their soulmate bond, but he'd never felt anything so good in his life. He was a few seconds in and he was already panting and groaning.2/15/2017 #30
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