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"All right, folks. Let's get this show on the road."

Like more or less all communications, Eladon's words echoed from the heart of his fortress across the landscape, easily detected and relayed to his fellow… well, however one would choose to describe them. The fortress in question was a truly massive structure, and if Eladon had ever decided to settle down and expand, there was little doubt that the fortress would expand, too. Actually, it tended to be grow anyway, as new information and ideas lead to upgrades and additions to the structure and the personnel within. In some cases, the entire fortress would be restructured entirely, though it had been a few months since the last major changes. For now, it was visibly nothing more than huge, metal walls that sloped gradually inward for a hundred feet or so. Nothing beyond the walls was currently visible, not even a tower or palace. So, outwardly, it gave the appearance of a giant metal box.

But appearances aside, it was run by Eladon. Powered by a single nuclear fission reactor, it was capable of traversing land, air, liquid, and even space. There were dozens of security measures; troops - most of which weren't human, or even mechanical - measured in the hundreds of thousands. Far more, in fact, than should have actually fit inside the fortress, as large as it was. Heavily varied and wielding an even more varied assortment of magic, technology, and good old evil, nothing had gotten through El's defenses yet, of course, the teen wasn't stupid enough to think himself invincible. Any form of defenses, no matter how formidable, could be breached. He simply intended to make it as hard as he could.

"So. Pax." El settled back in his throne, which was made out of skulls for today, for no particular reason. The location of his throne often changed, moving between rooms as well as into different areas. "'The Adventures of Tin Tin'. What the hell is that, anyway?"

3/16/2012 #1

The horrible fat and hairy man named Mephiles lands several feet away from where U.N.Owen's Dragon Shout hit him.

"The fuck? I didn't know we had powers and shit here!" he said before checking himself for blood. Sure enough, the blast caused him to hit his head and bleed. So he drank the blood and accepted the powers of darkness.

"Now I just hope nobody who has issues with people becoming immortal is around," he said to himself.

3/16/2012 . Edited 3/16/2012 #2
U.N. Owen the Pain Killer

"Right behind you," U.N. Owen whispered in Mephile's ear, "HOURAI ANTIDOTE!!! ACTIVATE!!!!" He then dump a bottle of shampoo on Mephile's head and ran off giggling like a young child.

"May the blessings of Loreal shampoo fall upon you!" he shouted, "BECAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT!!!!" He then disappeared in his smoke screen and returned back to his desk....forever alone....

3/16/2012 #3

Mephiles jumped from the shout and then tried to dodge then the shampoo hit his hair.

"God! How does he keep doing that?!" Mephiles asked as he tried to get the shampoo out.

"Anyways, before I forget...what would happen if Seras drank blood from Alucard until Alucard died?"

3/16/2012 #4
Dr Pax stood at the bridge of his spacetime submarine, clad in his usual lab uniform. Beneath his dark goggles, Pax's eyes narrowed as he lowered his gaze past his long white labcoat to his knee high black boots. Sheathed in black elbow length gloves, Pax's hands typed out a message to Eladon: "The Adventures of Tin Tin" is a delightful CGI movie based upon a retro comic strip involving the escapades of the intrepid journalist Tin Tin and his dog Snowy. I found it more worth watching than other similar movies such as Indiana Jones.
3/16/2012 #5

"Uh, Pax, man?" El opened a live video feed under the giant letters of text that Pax had sent out. "Dude. Talk. You speak, we hear, and vice versa. Nice to hear it, though. And nice place you have. Although you look kind of like a cross between Doctor Horrible and his nemesis, Captain Hammer."

He paused as a photonic guard walked past, carrying a plate of what appeared to be giant insects, roasted in some way. It took him a moment to remember that they would be for his latest invention. It took a few more moments to realize that his throne was currently in one of the massive kitchens that serviced his fortress.

"Right," he continued when his mind was back on track. "I was going to plan an attempted and failed invasion, but there's nothing for me to invade, so... blah."

3/16/2012 #6
"My primary inspirations apart from madness and steampunk are the great future world emperor Doctor Phineas Waldolf Steel, the authors H.P. Lovecraft and J.K. Rowling, and Warhammer 40K with a bit of Beatles mixed in." Dr. Pax began to ramble, before stopping himself. Doctor Pax turned to the radio to the periscope and sensor array station as it rang and answered the call, his smile widening into a feral snarl before he hung up and pressed the intercom button. "All hands to battle stations! Drown the apostate in his own blood! Crush him beneath the ashes of his shattered mind!" Pax turned to the video feed, a malignant grin on his face. "Excuse me while I deal with my eldest brother." With that the feed ended as Doctor Pax pressed the button that would give his crew the signal to fire on his brother's secret base in Hell.
3/17/2012 #7

(Just wanted to comment, I love reading your posts... You all are so creative!)

3/17/2012 #8

"Creative...I feel discouraged now that someone has told me that," Mephiles said as he took a seat into his chair.

3/17/2012 #9
The incredibly awkward teenage boy named Horror stood infront of his gate between the black and white plains of dimmension in his pokepark while wearing his favorite bloodstained, black, trenchcoat, purple fedora and fingerless grey gloves. "What's up everyone?" He asked into the screen that also worked as a porygon.
3/17/2012 #10

"Why discouraged...? I would think that would be a compliment..." Skitty said rather flatly, while uncomfortably standing to the side of this chaotic setting, trying to figure out the method to this madness.

3/17/2012 #11

Eladon pointedly ignored everyone else , instead pondering Pax's apparent issues. he swiveled his skull-throne around several times before halting it. While the video feed had ended, communication had not; in fat, although private communication was possible, general conversation could be ignored but not halted.

"Say, Pax. I have a new cannon, of the extreme overkill variety. As of the moment, I have nothing worth testing it on... except your brother. If you don't mind, I'd love to take a shot with it. Test out its effect, both on the target and our own systems. I'd hate for it to go untested before being put to real use. Like I said, it's of the extreme overkill variety; it has even more recoil than it does power intake, and I'm going to have to shut down every non-critical system to be sure I have the power to fire this cannon safely."

3/17/2012 #12
U.N. Owen the Pain Killer

U.N. Owen sat in his room located in the Scarlet Devil Mansion. He dreaded having to go to work today. Today was the day where he had to play with Flandre. While she was nice enough, he didn't feel like have his head ripped off like last time and used as a kickball. Fortunately, being related to the Scarlets (and somehow not holding a high rank of status), he was able to regenerate his head, even though for the past week he looked like a Ghoul from Fallout the entire week. He was hungry, and decided he would wait a bit before going to the kitchen to eat something.

3/18/2012 #13
"The apostate is mine, Eladon." Doctor Pax declared. "When a twenty-six-year-old selfishly uses his mother's house like a homeless shelter/soup kitchen/free clinic/safe house and has the gall to call her a parasite and act like he's so superior in every way even after being arrested on felony charges AGAIN, it becomes a little personal." Pax smirked as he brought up a tactical map screen of the target area. The submarine re-entered space and time, its bright yellow hull gleaming as trapdoors swung wide, revealing an entire arsenal all along the massive vessel's considerable length. Cannons of all shapes and sizes aimed at a six foot by six foot by six foot metal box in a world of utmost perfection. "On second thought, this is his hell." Pax mused. "I'd hate to interfere with his suffering from being both worthless and wrong in every possible way." the submarine deactivated its weapons and re-entered the Immaterium.
3/18/2012 #14
Death Drive 128

Deep inside a cave a putrid, hairy giant masturbated furiously as though it was all he knew. In one hand he held his regular sized cock, and in the other mutated arms he held a giant tube of acne cream, toothpaste, and skin cream. He repeatedly uttered a guttural "Love this" over and over.

3/18/2012 #15

"In that case, Dr. Pax, I certainly can't dispute your reasoning," El decided. "I'm just disappointed that I can't use my cannon. Ah, well. Another time, perhaps. Although I doubt that Hell itself would be disrupted for every long, no matter how badly we decimated parts of it."

3/19/2012 #16
"Oh and did one of you send a threatning letter to me?" Horror asked the group as he held it up "Because I found it on a rhydon being held with the javelin that killed the thing. Because let me tell you. That Rhydon was one of my girls and do you know how hard it is to build a harem from nothing?! I had to get quilava to suck me off and he made me jack him off afterwarda! Not that i mind but that's not the point..."
3/19/2012 #17

"Who the fuck are you and what's wrong with your hair!?" Mephiles demanded of Horror view live chat. Mephiles seemed to be standing in the middle of a plaza in London. The place was covered in corpses and blood. All of this blood was flowing into the spot where Mephiles was standing, the corpses sinking into the blood as it did so.

3/19/2012 #18
"Call me Horror pokemon harem owner. And what do you mean what's wrong with my hair?!" He asked as he brushed his amazing brown hair.
3/19/2012 #19

"Well, I don't necessarily have a problem with harems, but I have problems with both pokemon and pokemon harems." Eladon swiveled back and forth in his throne, keeping video feed closed and blocked. "On the other hand, I wouldn't threaten you. I'd just put a five-mile-wide crater centered where you're standing. Much simpler, and you get no warning. So in this case, it was't me."

3/20/2012 #20
U.N. Owen the Pain Killer

"Agreed," said U.N. Owen from behind a changing screen, "Pokemon harems are pretty gross. The mistresses think so too." His body was lined with scars from his "play dates" with Flandre. He would heal up just fine though. He was virtually indestructible anyway. He was saying this into a large mirror that portrayed everything going in the world outside Gensokyo. "I don't mind Pokemon, however. Although the anime was terrible." He stepped out from behind the changing screen wearing black dress pants, a white shirt, and a black vest. He had an eye patch over one eye (the result of the most recent play date) and his other eye was constantly changing from blue to red. "Anywho, I'm off to wander the mansion...and do whatever the mistress tells me to do."

3/20/2012 #21

"Right, whatever," Mephiles said as he soaked up the blood on the streets of the London. "That aside...the count is...over 3 million people. That's not including the 1000 vampires I just ate." Mephiles turned to see that London was now corpse free...except for the army of zombies wandering around.

"Alright, time to steal some familiars," he said. He focused a bit and suddenly a good 1000 spears shot upward, impaling the zombies. The blood drained from them flowed away from them and into Mephiles. The Zombies fell apart into more blood as this happened. When the impaled zombies were no more, Mephiles repeated this action.

"Hopefully Dracula doesn't notice that I'm assimilating his army into mine. Anyways, I hear that hardcore Pokemon fans hated Johto Journeys as well as the corresponding games. Is that true?"

3/20/2012 #22
U.N. Owen the Pain Killer

"I fucking loved Johto," U.N. Owen said suddenly appearing behind Mephiles. He held a knife to his throat, just in case he said anything else bad about Johto. "Now, if you'll excuse me, the young mistress wants to learn how to paint pictures...with my blood....and internal organs." And with that he vanished.

3/20/2012 #23

Mephiles wondered why Owen threatened him when he didn't say that Johto was bad. He was just wondering what actual Pokemon fans thought.

"Well whatever. Dracula is fighting a superpowered priest, and I almost have assimilated his army of undead."

3/20/2012 #24
U.N. Owen the Pain Killer

U.N. Owen reappeared. "Meh, the lesson can wait (although it'll be twice as painful)," he said, "Onwards! To the battle!"

3/20/2012 #25

"Now why are you here?" Mephiles asked, that is assuming that Owen was in London with Mephiles. If Owen wasn't there, Mephiles wouldn't ask.

3/20/2012 #26
U.N. Owen the Pain Killer

"Oh yes, I am in London," U.N. Owen replied, "How I managed to cross running water is beyond me, but I don't care! Anywho, YOU'RE WASTING TIME!!! ONWARDS!!!"

3/20/2012 #27

Mephiles reached the center of the city (Center? There's no way to know that it was the center!). Alucard, the No Life King, was battling Anderson, the Monster of God. It was like in the manga and anime, only this time, Alucard only had what...100 or so familiars left since Mephiles was assimilating them. Which would probably give Anderson a better Edge in this fight than he did in cannon. As a result, Anderson, while perma killing Alucard, also was killed. Seras and Integera probably broke down in tears or something, Mephiles didn't care, he was after Anderson's nail. He happened upon the nail and picked it up before putting it into his pocket.

"That's a wrap," he said to himself. If Owen was still with him, he'd turn and say "You still didn't tell me why you are here."

3/20/2012 . Edited 3/20/2012 #28
U.N. Owen the Pain Killer

"For what you just put in your pocket," Owen replied, drawing a .44 magnum with ornate carvings along the handle, cylinder, and barrel, "Hand it over or receive a watermelon sized hole in your torso."

3/20/2012 #29

Mephiles back flipped away from Owen while taking out an Uzi and opening fire on Owen.

3/20/2012 #30
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