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Kally looked at the fortress, scowling. "YOU BEST RUN!!!!" She looked around, looked out to the readers*, and said, "Meh, whaddaya gonna do when 'er scared?"

*Breakin' the fourth wall (since I couldn't think of whatever else to do...0.o)

3/23/2012 #91

"Ah, but Pax, you are wrong there," El pointed out simply. "I could bend you fairies to my will - IF they were mine to control and IF I wanted them. They are not mine to control, they are yours; and I have no interest in them until they attempt to threaten me again, in which case I will endeavor to kill them. I therefore to not intend to make any attempt at control over them. Perhaps I should have explained myself more clearly. As for their feelings for you, that is also interesting, and quite strange; but they are yours, after all."

3/23/2012 . Edited 3/23/2012 #92

Kally, seeing nothing better to do, trotted after the fortress. She glared and shouted loudly, "I'M YO FIRETRUCKIN' DAUGHTER, BEECH!!!!"

Her tail wagged back and forth as she yipped in response to herself, her pink tongue floppily hanging out of her muzzle.

3/23/2012 #93
Pax's projection dispelled, seeming satisfied. The Space-Time Submarine began to move through the sky, though it did not "dive" into the Immaterium. Rather, it seemed to gently drift at a leisurely pace. Dr. Pax relaxed and pulled the lever which deployed the foot rest on his control chair as he leaned back. A faerie crewmember approached the mad doctor. "What now, Daddy?" she asked. "Set a course for the Pacific." Pax replied. "I'm sure Beatrice Q3 Alpha is happy with her new owner. Usually such an occurrence is a sign of an epic fate." Beatrice Q3 Alpha zipped after Kally, looking like a comet enveloped as she was in kaleidoscopic light, technicolor sparkles trailing behing her. "Wait for me, Mommy!" Beatrice exclaimed.
3/23/2012 #94
U.N. Owen the Pain Killer

"Christ just let me and Meph get to the Scarlet Devil Mansion so I can pay him in stolen hentai already!" Owen yelled, "We should probably go a little bit faster, eh Meph?"

3/23/2012 . Edited 3/23/2012 #95

"Hentai?! I don't re-...wait, it'll make reference material for when I draw my own stuff! Anyways, HANG ON TIGHT!" The moment Owen would do just that, Mephiles would speed up to a point where he'd be flying faster than the human eye could see.

3/23/2012 #96
Death Drive 128

Landing another well-paying part had put him in a mood for "celebrating." To Roy, celebrating was getting piss-ass drunk, gorging on fruit slices, and having a few orgy or two then needing a designated driver to get home. Tonight, his poison of choice was bourbon. Bourbon didn't normally sit well with him, but that was okay. He was only going to drink enough to get blasted. He was a man of taste, after all, and he had every right to get drunk should he so choose. There was no law that said you couldn't get plastered. In the morning, he would have one hell of a headache, but that was okay too. He was a man of taste.

Even if he didn't know his limit, the bartenders did. They could tell when Roy couldn't hold his own anymore. When Roy's eyes got glassy and he was tossing them back like water, it was definitely time to call a taxi. They were definitely glassy.

While waiting for the cab to arrive, the Bartender helped Roy into his coat and kept a close eye on him. There was no doubt in his mind that Roy was far gone, but any more and he'd be on the floor. Roy hiccuped and waited for the massive circlejerk unfold. It was almost like when he witnessed with his own eyes a group of she-males stand in a circle to jerk off onto a cookie. That retarded frat game was called "Limp Biscuit"... which kind of indirectly explains why the band of the same namesake was so fucking horrible.

3/24/2012 #97
U.N. Owen the Pain Killer


3/24/2012 #98

Kally paused and smiled sweetly back at the faery. She then looked around upon hearing someone scream "shit."*

*I sorta...stress...the fact that dogs have better hearing than humans. ^^' Meh, she's usually used for comedies anyways, so...Why not?

3/24/2012 #99
Beatrice Q3 Alpha smiled impishly at Kally before uttering her mantra, the two words which were most infamous for causing the suffering of many would-be heroes: "Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen!" Pax gave a sour grinchy smirk before letting loose a fit of diabolical meanie giggling as he watched the surveillance feed from his bridge.
3/24/2012 #100

"I'm listening, don't worry." Kally stated calmly, still smiling. When you're annoying your whole life...

NOTHING stops you.

3/24/2012 #101

"Oh, look. It turned into Navi." El shuddered, and swapped the camera to a forward view as his fortress entered the water... and, probably breaking a few laws of physics, began floating along at top speed, like a boat. Now he could see 666 and Owen zooming away, with Owen screaming like a maniac.

"Yo,' he told the two of them, his voice apparently having no trouble keeping pace. "I'm not here to kill you, I'm just following because Pax stopped shipping out things for me to kill."

3/24/2012 #102

"KALLY HAS AN IDEA!!" Kally stated loudly, turning toward El and the mysterious fortress of which she REALLY thought it looked like some sort of a donut...Meh. She was weird.

3/25/2012 #103

"So Owen, what's the plan? We're about to reach Canada or the USA," Mephiles asked the guy riding on his back.

3/25/2012 #104
U.N. Owen the Pain Killer

"We should probably rest," Owen said, "The US looks rather tempting...."

3/25/2012 #105

"Okay, don't fall off now...we'll probably land in the state of Newyork," Mephiles said, "If I get my direction right."

3/25/2012 #106
U.N. Owen the Pain Killer

"I've been there before," Owen said, "I wonder if they still use horse and buggy.....don't look at me like that I've been trapped in a casket for a couple hundred years!"

3/25/2012 #107
Beatrice Q3 Alpha continued reciting her mantra at the top of her lungs in her most obnoxious voice as she hovered right next to Kally's head. "Wait, Owen's riding on Mephiles' back?" Dr. Pax wondered. "I wonder if Mephiles is as good a ride as one of my slaves? Probably not in that context." A group of green-skinned owl-winged one-foot-tall faeries with red hair and gray eyes entered the room wearing victorian dresses. "Hello Daddy, it's our turn today." one faerie said eagerly as they sat on his lap. "Quite right you are." the Doctor said with a smile as he reached into his coat...and pulled out a book. "You thought it was going to be something naughty, didn't you?" Pax asked through the fourth wall. "Too bad. Now what chapter were we on, my darlings?" "Chapter nine-thousand seven-hundred and sixty-nine." the faeries chorused. "Right." Pax replied as he made himself comfortable. "And here's the punchline." Pax said as the title was revealed: A Guide to Moral Depravity in All its Forms.
3/25/2012 #108

"Right, anyways. Here's land! Damn that was quicker than I expected. Must be cartoon science," Mephiles said as he decended towards the land and started to slow down.

3/25/2012 #109
U.N. Owen the Pain Killer

"Physics do not apply with made-up Touhou characters...except for Sakuya....she uses Einstein's theory of relativity, but I digress," Owen said.

3/25/2012 #110

"Whatever," Mephiles said as they landed on the beach. He then took out his GPS and checked it...

"Oh shit, we're in Canada. We're more than 100 miles off our mark...meh. If you head due south, you'll come to the US border."

3/28/2012 #111
Project Phoenix Agent 003

Agent 003 stared at the abhorent chaos of the past hundred and something posts, contemplating something witty to say to mark his entrance. But after carefully considering the probable outcome of anything he could ever possibly say, 003 settled for one his favorite on liners.

"...I miss EVERYTHING!"

After which, he decided to give up his past life of sex and adrenaline in favor of a the simple life of a family man.

4/30/2012 #112

"Now that was a mistake, bro," Eladon declared, steering his fortress straight through Manhattan, demolishing everything in his path.

4/30/2012 . Edited 4/30/2012 #113
Project Phoenix Agent 003

Upon seeing the destruction of Manhattan, 003 paused to reflect on his most recent descion to seek peace in a thread of complete and utter debauchery. He whistled, summoning to his side the cyborg sidekick 1136.

"Sidekick, give me a prime Mentat projection on the odds of our surviving this thread with our sanity."

"No one reads Dune you obscure reference using bastard!" 1136 retorted. "And what sanity?"

After quickly deciding to ignore everything his sidekick said as per Project Phoenix's standard operating procedure, 003 exclaimed. "Perfect! To the no-ship!"

Upon boarding the no-ship, 003 abandoned his attempted retirement and returned to a life of sex and adrenaline.

4/30/2012 #114

"Good man," Eladon decided, once he'd sorted through 003's post. His fortress deployed a single, 200mm cannon and fired it at the mostly-constructed remake of the Twin Towers.

(I'm not sure if they're rebuilding one or both, though.)

4/30/2012 #115

Mephiles awoke in an alley with a naked latino woman.

"...What?" He checked his cellphone to find that it was months later from what he last could recall.

"What the fuck happened!?" he asked himself.

4/30/2012 #116

"Drugs, alcohol and sex, obviously," Eladon answered, from a few thousand miles away. "Good man."

The US army was starting to arrive in force in Manhattan, especially given the damage to the new tower.

5/1/2012 . Edited 5/1/2012 #117
Athena Amore

The sound of ancient beating drums sounded dramatically from a distance along with a flute as Itami peered at Eladon through slanted eyes a few feet away. She was perched in a typical ninja position on top of a half crumbled building; the strings of her black ninja mask (which matched her black ninja cat suit) waving in the breeze.

She held a simple dagger in her left hand, relishing her own theme music. "Interesting..."

5/4/2012 . Edited 5/4/2012 #118
Count Garnet

(Can anyone just jump in?)

5/4/2012 #119
Athena Amore

( I think it's safe to say yes. I mean I just did.)

5/4/2012 #120
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