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spearofhope

Character Building and Arch Progression to the Max.

It's like a constantly-running, free-of-charge writer's workshop.

Chances are, if you're on the Rock, you've been writing for a fair amount of time. It's a fantastic place to build your abilities, learn to make characters and, eventually, storylines and Arcs. By that, I don't just mean a series of Events, Drama, action and Kewl stuff or Romances going on. I mean Themes, the Progression of your characters, of an emotional journey and eventually, a legitimate conclusion. Unfortunately, growth without feedback is hard. So here's your opportunity to get some feedback.

I want to do a Roleplay. The Plot will not be the core, there is no Gimmick (Not in the plot, at least). You will play as people making their way through the world Today. Together, you will chose an age group for these people (Teens, Young Adults, Adults, whatever you like). I will chose a setting and an axial event. You will then go through this event in the Roleplay. However, your characters all must have Faith in something, and doubt in something. Over the course of the RP, the faith and Doubt will be either vindicated, or proven false. It is up to you what these things are, how they go, and how they end. And at the end of this Story, I will be Grading everyone's progress.

To be clear, this is not a contest. This is merely an effort to improve ourselves. The Evaluation will be Honest, but fair. I will be Grading them in the Fields of: Faith Concept, Faith in Action, Faith Resolution, Faith overall; Doubt Concept, Doubt in Action, Doubt Resolution, Doubt overall; Character Arch, Character Relationships, Character Resolution, Character overall; Total Grade. These will be filled out with Words And Numbers, to give the clearest view.

Everyone is Invited. Realistically, you shouldn't be trying any harder than you usually do (Unless you've decided to Try harder in EVERY roleplay, in which case more power to you), so we have an acurate read on how you really are. Everyone is invited, and I hope to get lots of Profiles and Long-running players!

Let's play for keeps.

Character Sheet -

Name:

Age:

Gender/Orientation:

Appearance/clothing preferences:

Four Adjectives to describe their personalities (Go in depth if you like):

History:

I have Faith in:

I can't help but Doubt:

Random Memory from this person's life:

5/28/2012 #1
Chainsaw Cake

Name: Rikka Nguvu (this is basically Rika from Nemesis, but I've done away with the Japanese name.)

Age: 30

Gender/Orientation: Pansexual, though she tends to stay away from those more than a year or two younger than her.

Appearance/clothing preferences: Yes, still seven feet three inches tall; she's inherited it from her great-grandfather. Very muscular, with big tits, long legs, and full hips; the sex appeal clashes oddly with her height, muscles, and generally battle-scarred appearance. Also has smooth, teak-colored skin and a face that would have been austerely beautiful, were it not for the ruined, off-center mess of a nose. She also has shiny black hair, which is often held back in a short ponytail. As for clothes, she tends to wear sweats, tank tops, and T-shirts; anything that's loose-fitting and practical. She also prefers to go barefoot whenever she can.

Four Adjectives to describe their personalities (Go in depth if you like): Doormat: Rikka was groomed from a very young age to be a fighter, and this has given her an ingrained habit of going along with orders. Depressed: Rikka rarely received praise from her family, which led to a very low amount of self-worth and a case of clinical depression, exacerbated by the fact that it runs in her family. Stepford Smiler: Keeps on a placid and well-mannered mask when in public. Blood Knight: Lives for combat; it's the only place that she feels she excels at, and she doesn't have to think about anything other than the fight itself.

History: Rikka comes from a family of fighters; when they saw how big she was going to get, her family began to put her through brutal training to become the greatest boxer of her generation. They believed that they were doing what was right for her by securing her a future lit by glory and fame, but in their determination to not go soft on her, the family almost never gave Rikka any praise; only admonishments for her mistakes and orders to intensify her physical regimen. This led to Rikka believing that she was worthless; however, there was praise for her whenever she won a fight, and so she quickly became vicious and almost feral in the ring. Outside, she sought comfort in sex and physical affection with anyone who would have her, but whenever her lover tried to deepen the relationship, Rikka would get scared and push them away, then fall into a black depression for anywhere from one or two days to a few weeks. Inevitably, she'd try to please her family by booking another fight, would be cheered somewhat by her win, would seek another lover, and the cycle will repeat itself.

I have Faith in: Fighting is the only way to relieve her depression. Fighting is the only way to prove her worth. If she can win all her fights, her family will keep loving her. If she can manage to kill someone in the ring, her family will actually show that they love her. She deserves every fight injury for not managing to kill someone yet.

I can't help but Doubt: That she'll ever find anyone she can spend the rest of her life with. Rikka feels that she is bound to die alone, because her conscience won't let her kill anyone in the ring, meaning that her family will never truly love her. She can't even conceive that she might find a lover ready to take her as she is.

Random Memory from this person's life: Rikka's little brother, who was, compared to Rikka, quite frail, was having his seventh birthday party with all of his friends; they were all laughing and having fun, and Rikka began to cry because she'd never had friends over for a birthday party. Her physical training, combined with school and extra book study on martial arts (assigned by her parents), took up so much time that she was never able to go to other kids' houses or meet them in town. When Rikka's parents saw her crying, they told her to get back into the basement and finish her pushups, then start her benching routine.

5/28/2012 #2
Chainsaw Cake

(Um...bump?)

5/29/2012 #3
spearofhope

(Sorry, just waiting for more Profiles ;D Everyone Automatically accepted, by the way.)

(Although I like the Angle on the character- the Faith and Doubt are perfect!)

5/29/2012 #4
Chainsaw Cake

(Thank you! :D)

5/29/2012 #5
Rippp

Name: Carinna Mosoki

Age: 21

Gender/Orientation: Female and straight; though she will seduce women to get what she wants. However her overall interest lies in men.

Appearance/clothing preferences: Carinna, standing at 5'5, has lightly tanned creamed skin, a small nose and a pointed chin. A slew of emotion can be easily spotted through her hazel eyes and her sometimes pursed pink lips. Her hair is dark gray; fixed in a layered bob with a bang. The shortest layer stops at the nape of her neck and the other to her shoulders. Her body is toned, yet still attractive with her flat stomach, smooth skin, none over powering breasts, and the subtle curve of her hips. Initially she'll be found barefoot in a very pale yellow sweater (which has fallen off her shoulders and is exposing a good portion of her collar bone) with faded, worn, cut off shorts that are barely being seen from under her sweater.

Four Adjectives to describe their personalities: Emotional: Carinna is emotional not only because she feels so much at one time, but because she often wars a constant battle within herself to mask what she feels. For her crying is a sign of weakness and because of her place in the world Carinna can't help but feel like doing a lot of that; but crying never solves anything and neither does dwelling on things that she cannot change.

Defiant: Years of being forced to do what she didn't want to do did not break her stubborn spirit but magnified it. Her defiance can either work in her favor or out of it.

Angry: Anger is an expected emotion that would typically come with the "emotional complex" package. She's angry because she's angry, or angry because she's crying, and even more upset because she's angry about being angry that's she's crying. It's all a never ending cycle; one that she wish she could get out of. If it isn't her emotions that's getting to her, then it's the simple fact that Carinna truly believes her life has been an injustice.

Fragile: Her words and mannerism come off as harsh and attitudinal, but in truth her bad girl persona is merely a defense mechanism to hide who she is inside; and inside the depths of Carinna Mosoki is a fragile, scared, and broken little girl. She's highly sensitive and doesn't want to be hurt by anyone anymore in any form or fashion.

History: Carinna was adopted right out of an orphanage at age 10 and abducted off the streets three years later. Of course, like any kid, Carinna often wandered why her parents didn't want her and ended up hating her living conditions in the new home she was given. The house was overrun with kids, the older ones dominated the younger ones, and the children were sometimes made to do illegal things. As dark humor would have it she was snatched off the streets in broad daylight only to be thrust into a situation far worse than the orphanage or her crowded home: human trafficking. From there Carinna was exposed to a lifestyle that no human should endure, but endured anyway. At age 20 Carinna and several other girls were set free to make room for new stock and left to conquer the world by themselves. The events of her life traumatized her, scared her, and damaged her, but also made her a fighter; thus creating and presenting to the world what she is today. By age 21 Carinna and the three girls were settled in a small apartment and building a new life of their own; though memories of their past continued to haunt them.

I have Faith in: Carinna's strong will. defiant nature, and intelligence. She can think and choose for herself and will always do so because she's so damn hell bent on doing so. Though she can be impulsive she has a good judge of character and will listen to reason before acting. I have faith that such a strong will will keep her from stooping to anything and will keep her remaining who she is.

I can't help but Doubt: That she'll never be able to break away from her tattered past or allow herself to be truly cared for without questioning their motives or manipulating. Carinna is simply damaged and her anger, hate, mistrust, and sesitivity will keep her from recieving (emotional) help from anyone.

Random Memory from this person's life: In the orphanage the children were made to do activities and social exercises regularly. On this day the activity was the trust game, where one would close their eyes and allow their bodies to fall back freely; completely trusting the person behind them to catch them. Young Carinna had been paired with an older black haired boy. He was to catch her. At the caretaker's command Carinna closed her eyes and allowed her body to fall, expecting him to catch her, but his hands never came. The sure embrace she expected never occurred, and she was left to thump against the cold rough floor. She winced and rubbed her head as pain shot up her back and all through her body. Tears swelled up in her eyes. While she tried not to cry the boy stood over her and helped her sit up, kneeling to offer her a bright red lollipop with a bow in apology. He waited till she reached for it to snatch it clean out of her reach. Her tears really did fall then. "But why?" She sobbed as she wiped her tears with both hands. "Why can't I have it?" He shook his head and rose; smiling at her devilishly. "Because you don't deserve it." He said simply. "You're weak and you cry too much; no one could love someone like that. But trust me, Carinna, you've learned a valuable lesson out of this." He told her as he stuck the pop in his mouth and proceeded to walk down the hall. "Trust is a fool's game."

5/29/2012 . Edited 6/15/2012 #6
otacons

Name: Dominique Lesteau, or Ledovski, He prefers to use Ledovski, but Lesteau is the name he usees on legal documents.

Age: Young adult, About 27. His birthday is April 12th

Gender/Orientation: Male, gay, Kindof in between the lines of gay and bisexual though, he would date a girl, but he prefers men overall.

Appearance/clothing preferences: He is tall, six foot six inches, he is very thin with long limbs and big hands and feet. His shoulders slope downward and give him a melancholy look. His hair is short and a murky dark green color, it covers his ears and the nape of his neck, it is often really messy looking with little tufts sticking up here and there. His eyes are a very pale colour, almost white but you can tell that they are a violet shade. He wears thick rimmed rectangular glasses. As for fashion, he sticks with a black and white colour scheme, his pants are almost always black slacks and his shirts are long sleeved button up shirts with a black tie. He has a grey suit jacket that he wears sometimes when it's cold.

Four Adjectives to describe their personalities (Go in depth if you like): peaceful: He rarely stirrs up trouble, he always has a clam atmosphere surrounding him. He tries to keep calm in every situation, no matter what. Most of his freinds like him for this quality and often go to him when they are in a tough situation. sensitive: He takes others feelings into consideration over his own, he goes out of his way to make sure the others close to him are happy, even though he may be in a rut in his life, but the happiness of others makes him happy knowing that sence of acomplesment. thrifty: He loves old-timey things and thrift store shopping, his house if full of antiques and many old trinkets, He is not the type of person you would see walking down the road with the newest smart phone, Instead, he enjoys a good walk through an antique mall. Bland: He is probably the most boring guy on the planet. He could talk for hours about something and you would have no idea what he even said because you fell asleep 30 minutes into his long speech. He mostly talks about historical events, and storys of his (Boring) childhood.

History: He doesn't have much of a history, other then then he is a history teacher at a middle school. He loves this job because he gets to talk non-stop and nobody falls alseep on him.

I have Faith in: He has faith in making everyone around him happy and to achive their goals in life. This also makes him happy knowing that sombody else is getting somewhere in their life because of him and not ending up like a bum in the gutters. This all started sometime ago when he helped an old vagrant man get enough money to live in an old retired folks building.

I can't help but Doubt: He doubts his own chances in life, He spends so much time helping other people that he wears himself down to the point where he gets unmotivated to do anything for himself, he would sit in his one room apartment for days wondering why he cant take care of himsself when it is so easy to take care of others, he forgets to buy food for himself and often doesnt get the chance to feed himself untill the next pay check. He doesn't dare ask for help from others because he wants everyone to think that he is in need of help because then they will all give up what he gave them just to help him, and he doesnt want them to lose it.

Random Memory from this person's life: Dominique was home this day, it had snowed in. On days like this his t.v would only recive one channel; The news. He let time fly by his head watching the same reporters talk about the same things while a fresh stack of student assignments sat untouched the entire night.

5/30/2012 . Edited by spearofhope, 6/14/2012 #7
Chainsaw Cake

(Bump, because I'm a horrible person.)

6/12/2012 #8
Horrorlandman

Name: Connor Lannes

Age: 18

Gender/Orientation: Male, and bisexual with a stronger preference for guys.

Appearance/clothing preferences: Connor stands at six feet six inches, with dark brown hair, and hazel eyes. He has incredibly pale skin which seems to make his hair stand out even more. He is pretty largely built though not fat in any way.

His perference for clothes is pretty simple. He usually wears a dark colored T-Shirt, usually blue or black, under his favorite hoodie. the hoodie is black and purple striped with the zipper going all the way on the hood. He never goes anywhere without it and is more or less his security blanket. Other then that he wears dark blue or black jeans and blakc and white classic sneakers.

Four Adjectives to describe their personalities (Go in depth if you like): Lonely: Ever since he was a kid, Connor has seemed to be in a perpetual state of loneliness, never letting anybody in. Depressed: Connor seems, once again to be in a never ending depression, which definetly makes him a downer. Cute: Although most people think Connor s a total grinch, he actually thinks that cute things are some of the most amazing things in existence, which shows he does have a happy side. Confused: He really is lost in his own little world most of the time, so normal life is just a big puzzle to him.

History: Connor had grown up with a poor family. His parents were too busy trying to make themselves money, to actually pay attention to their son and as such the boy had grown up a loner. When he first started school, he was the only kid that didn't have a bookbag, he had a trash bag. Soon he had become the targets of bullies and from that day forward he was known as 'Punching Bag.' When he was in the seventh grade his homeroom teacher had seen how he was treated and paid his family a visit. After seeing how he lived the teacher decided to go to the local mall with Connor and but him new clothes and such. Most of the things they bought, he either outgrew or were ripped beyond use after the years went by but one thing remained. His purple hoodie. Now Connor is a senior in highschool and still the target for bullies.

I have Faith in: He has faith that one day the world will just cut him off from existence, and he wants that. He feels like he has no purpose and the world would go smoother without him so he hopes one day that his time comes early.

I can't help but Doubt: That he has an actual reason to be on earth. That he will ever find love. That besides his one teacher, that anyone cares.

Random Memory from this person's life: When he went to school and noticed that his shoes had a large hole in them along with his sock revealing his toe. But no one noticed, so it wasn't a big deal.

6/12/2012 . Edited 6/14/2012 #9
Sereth Erethal

I'd like to join this too, it looks interesting. I can't write out a proper application right now, sorry, but I'll do so as soon as I can, is that ok?

6/12/2012 . Edited 6/12/2012 #10
Rippp

(What's bump?)

6/12/2012 #11
Chainsaw Cake

(It's when you post on a thread just to get it back to the top.)

6/12/2012 #12
Rippp

(Bump)

6/13/2012 #13
spearofhope

Few things:

1, Sorry... Nekos don't exist. You can't have nonexistent creatures in a roleplay about Character. I'm not sure how well your character would fit in a realistic, human, grounded situation.

2, In general, people seemed to misunderstand the Random Memory from their person's life. They tried to put information that belonged in the History section into that place. It's supposed to be a Random Memory, to provide more depth to the person, to make them more realistic and to give an image of what some of their life was actually like. An average memory from YOUR life wouldn't be the time your Grandmother passed away or when you had your first kiss. It would be, say, one day at the Dentist you ended up crying, or you went on a Vacation and got left behind at the Hotel. Or your father came home from business trips for the first time in months and you went to lunch at a restaurant that has been shut down since. The Goal is to Deepen, Illustrate. To show instead of tell. Walking in on an affair or beating someone half to death are Formative Moments that belong in History, they are Major events. All in All, only Cake understood that portion. Look to her memory as an Example.

Other than those things, I'm excited about Connor and especially Dominique, and feel that with a Retool, Carinna could outshine them both. But she needs some work, and the Memories of all three have to be rethought from the ground up. Good effort so far, guys.

6/14/2012 #14
Sereth Erethal

Name: Seroni Bird

Age: 15

Gender/Orientation: Female, asexual. She has little inclination or interest in sex. She does, however, find herself a little more comfortable in the presence of women than men, and would probably choose their company over the latter.

Appearance/Clothing preferences:Seroni is a short girl, approximately 5 foot tall, with a thin, athletic build. She has a hint of muscle on her if one pays attention, but the general first impression is one of a weak child. Her hair is jet black, with bright green eyes, and is ever covered by a hat. The hat is a rimmed thing with a strip around it, and never leaves her head no matter the circumstances. Her normal clothing generally consists of an odd assortment of colours, starting with a large, orange/red longsleeved t-shirt that is several sizes too big for her. A bright blue-dyed jacket lies on top of this, though the arms have been cut off with precision, her t-shirt's arms poking through instead. She also wears a pair of dark purple jeans, which end tucked into some tall yellow boots. The strong contradiction of colours is soothed somewhat by the relatively bland cream coloured hat, but it still provides a viewer with a very distinct impression. If one looked closely, they would notice bags under her eyes, along with how pale her face is, both of which suggest a lack of sleep.

Four Adjectives to describe their personalities:

Intelligent: Seroni is very smart. To the degree that it has a say in every portion of her life. Though she no longer goes to school due to having dropped out, she is knowledgeable in a wide range of subjects, from music to science to philosophy. She has problems with focusing her intelligence however, and sometimes has great difficulty in expressing some of her ideas to others, leaving her a little frustrated with them.

Eccentric: Though she tries not to let it, her lack of control over her mind can lead her going of onto tangents and ideas that have no relevance to a situation, and can at times leave her feeling very lost and alone within her own mind. From the perspective of others, it's as if she just zones out, or starts muttering about things of no apparent relation, which has on occasion led to people becoming wary of her. Even in her everyday actions, she'll sometimes become focused on something seemingly dull, and completely ignore what is going on because of it.

Energetic: Seroni holds a naturally cheerful character, to the degree that it actually annoys people. To some extent this is her way of covering up the less pleasant part of herself and to deal with her problems, but she does consider it to be an integral part of her own personality.

Friendly: Though she is a very individual person, she greatly enjoys the company of others, and is quite willing to go up and talk to complete strangers. Though the conversations do not always pan out quite as she hopes, due to her choice of conversation ranging from backward stickers on bus windows to the history of fabric, she does try as much as possible to make new friends. She is also somewhat touchy-feely, as well, and can maintain contact with others seemingly without even noticing it.

History: Seroni's first memories generally revolve around the only person she's really ever seen as anything like a father figure. He was a short man, but beyond this held no resemblance to the girl. Nevertheless, he took her in as an adoptive daughter at the age of 6. It was only another 8 years before she decided she wanted to go travelling, and asked him for permission to drop out of school and do so. When he refused, she did so anyway, leaving a brief note about why several thousand pounds and his car were suddenly missing. She took on the last name "Bird", and briefly donned a fake identity in order to travel to a different country. She then spent the next year or so visiting various countries, and making her way through odd jobs she took up. She sent him postcards every so often, in order to let him know she was alright, though she made sure to route each one through various postal services when she did so in order to avoid having to provide him with an exact location.

I have Faith in: Her intelligence. She's always had great trust in her ability to think her way through things, and has rarely been let down by it. From finding work to fending off muggers, her mind has always been her weapon of choice, and the thing that she depends on first and foremost.

I can't help but Doubt: Her actions by running away. Though it was something she had in fact been planning for some time, she was aware that it would have seemed hasty and spur-of-the-moment to her adoptive father. They are both aware she is much more capable than she appears, but she can't help but worry about how he might be dealing with her disappearance, and feels a guilt for the worry she no doubt causes him.

Random Memory: Seroni paused, her world stopping as she noted a beautiful blue butterfly slowly flapping its wings as it lay on a flower. As she watched, it took off with a silent flutter. Her mind briefly acknowledged it as a Purple Hairstreak as it flew off, before she returned to her task of jumping circles around the garden, the creature forgotten.

(Sorry this is so late!)

6/14/2012 . Edited 6/14/2012 #15
Illiterallyliterate

I'm not sure I understand this... evaluation. What makes you qualified to judge and grade other writers? And what drives the rest of you to agree to be judged?

6/14/2012 #16
Chainsaw Cake

If it bothers you, don't get involved.

Aside from that, Spear is an excellent writer and one of the best, if not the best, on the forum. Out of all of us, he is probably the most qualified.

And this RP is designed for character development; Spear is judging how well our characters have grown and developed over the course of the RP. Some of us are simply curious about this kind of thing and wonder how we add up in the view of others.

6/14/2012 #17
Rippp

(@Spear Well, I'm shot. I worked hard on that; but very well.

New person, you're staring off like Pluto...and now is not a good time for it. Everyone in here hasn't recovered from her stuck on stupid behavior and we're all like lions in a cage. To avoid conflict try to have and or develop an open mind. It isn't judgement; it's a logical evaluation. They have evaluations on jobs...you gonna call that judgement? The RPers here wish to get better. It's gonna be kinda cool to get pointers from Spear. Don't like it? Don't join.)

6/14/2012 #18
Sereth Erethal

Each of us has a desire to improve both our RP and our writing. As for Spear being qualified, they are a longtime Rper, and are as qualified as anyone to do so. But really, it's more about the fact that judging one's own writing is very difficult, so it's immeasurably helpful to have someone else do so for you. It's what the review system was actually designed for in the first place.

Speaking of which, thanks Spear for doing this. ;)

6/14/2012 #19
Illiterallyliterate

Just asking, is all. Thanks for the explanation. ;)

6/14/2012 #20
otacons
( If I could edit, I would add the memory thing, but I can't so I apologize. If I could add it in a post, would that be okay? )
6/14/2012 #21
Chainsaw Cake

(Duckens, you're aliiiiive! XD And also, you can edit posts as long as they're your own. Click that little gear in the corner of your post and it should expand to reveal several options, one of which is the option to edit the post.)

6/14/2012 #22
otacons
( I know how to edit pffft, I just can't for some odd fudged up reason, well anywho, I can't be on much longer anyway, I am using a friends iPod derp :U ))
6/14/2012 #23
spearofhope

(Aw, don't get discouraged, Rip. Give it a shot, it doesn't need that much reworking. It could easily (And realistically) be changed that she had been a victim of Human Trafficking that had been freed. Being a Neko isn't that fundamental of a character trait, is it? She can remain the same human.

Connor's Memory is a little bit on the low side of meaningful but it's done. Accepted.

Ducky, if you wish, you can write your Memory in a post and I can edit it in for you.

Sereth, Excellent, you get it implicitely. Though the Age would normally be a problem, making her a Runaway should mend that fairly well if you are creative in the RP. Accepted.

Soon we'll have to start thinking about the event this is centered around. Last time it took place during the Planning and execution of a Town Festival. In this one, it could be anything, but something along those lines would be good.)

6/14/2012 #24
Rippp

(Spear, I honestly have no idea what you mean when you say "fundamental character trait." I just hope I nail this. I seriously wanna be the best of the best. I'm editing now.)

6/14/2012 #25
Chainsaw Cake

(Rip, I think Spear just means that making your character not a neko shouldn't cause a huge upheaval and revamping of said character. It's just pretty easy to make her a victim of human trafficking, like he said, and you can still keep most of the other character traits.)

6/14/2012 #26
Rippp

(Oh goodness, am I upheavling?)

6/14/2012 #27
Chainsaw Cake

(Eh?)

6/14/2012 #28
Rippp

(What, Cake?)

6/14/2012 #29
Chainsaw Cake

(http://elisanebay.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/im-confus.jpg)

6/14/2012 #30
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