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This is NOT a serious roleplay. Well, it somewhat is. It DOES have a setting and structure, albeit not an overall plot. Your characters WILL DIE. OFTEN. You can either clone them, or make a new one.

If nothing else, I'll kill somebody's character every two pages, give or take.

Things to know:

1) The Computer is your friend.

2) The Computer is your ruler.

3) The Computer is paranoid, and it will execute you for treason you if it even thinks that you're a Communist. (It's corrupted and treats Cold War propaganda as law.)

4) Hijinks. Make them happen.

5) The setting is a massive underground city, called Alpha Complex. The 'ceiling' is high enough from 'ground level' for helicopters.

6) You are a Troubleshooter. If you see trouble, you shoot it. With your laser. This includes mutants (everyone is a mutant), Communists (in a Communist city), and traitors (eventually, everyone is a traitor, including YOU).

7) You are RED clearance. This means that almost all information, and some locations, is/are beyond your Clearance. If you have to ask, you don't have the Clearance to know.

8) If the Computer even thinks that you may have seen or done something you aren't cleared for, you will be accused of treason and executed.

9) Your characters are humanoid mutants. Powers granted by mutations are small but random. This means no tentacles, 666.

10) You may wish to register your mutant abilities with the Computer. Failure to do so is treason, punishable by execution. Depending on your power, registration may also result in execution. Fortunately for you, the Computer is very lax about killing those who fail to register.

11) All characters, and in fact, all people are members of at least one secret society. These societies range from technophobes and self-denying anti-mutants (they're mutants, too) to a Computer-loving cult and a society composed entirely of spies from other societies.

12) Your characters are encouraged, if not required, to betray one another. So don't join if you can't handle that. Creativity in doing so will be rewarded by me. IF I don't like your character, I'll kill them sooner.

13) You will be assigned impossible, suicidal tasks by the Computer. If, by some miracle, you get through, you then get to go to debriefing, during which at least one surviving member will be accused of treason and die. You will then be set a new task.

14) If you somehow miraculously survive three missions, and aren't promptly accused of treason and executed, you will be promoted.

15) Happiness is mandatory.

16) Insufficient happiness will be punished via execution.

17) Have a nice day cycle.

18) The Computer is your friend.

In addition, you may receive periodic PMS, containing information that only your character knows – for example, that a given corridor is safe, when in fact they're all safe. This information is not vital, and between that and the fact that this is a serious roleplay, don't worry if you can't access PMs. You'll still do fine.

You can join partway through. There is no skeleton sheet, because I don't want any.

You have been summoned to a plain, white, circular room. You will all arrive at approximately the same time. The only objects in the room are a rack containing laser pistols, and a screen behind a thin sheet of glass. On the screen is a large blue eye.

8/26/2012 . Edited 8/26/2012 #1
Chainsaw Cake

(Is there a character skeleton?)

8/26/2012 #2
There is no skeleton sheet, because I don't want any.

(Already covered.)

8/26/2012 . Edited 8/26/2012 #3
(So I take it we simply introduce our characters and add detail as it becomes relevant?)
8/26/2012 #4

(For the love of...

YES. Or you can add details now. Whatever works best for you.)

8/26/2012 #5
Jorgey followed the stoicly happy man in the pressed, sky blue uniform through the underground halls of Alpha Complex with a feeling of deep apprehension in his stomach. Had his membership in the Frankenstein Destroyers been discovered? He suspected that if so he might very well already be dead. He dared to hope that was not the case and so forced all unhappy thoughts out of his mind and carefully focused it on the memory of his first fight. Jorgey still had a small smile on his face when he was finally lead into a small white room with a rack of pistols and a strange large eye with a blue screen.
8/26/2012 #6
Chainsaw Cake

Zia left the tune-up office hoping that the staff done as good a job fixing her sight-chip as they'd said. She checked her watch. If she hurried, she could still meet her summons punctually.

As she hurried towards her destination, a red dot appeared on whatever she looked at. Great. That meant the laser sight was still malfunctioning, which in turn meant that her left eye would be glowing bright red. Not exactly a reassuring sight. Fortunately, it seemed that it was the only thing malfunctioning, so if she got her hands on an eyepatch she should be fine. For now...she sighed, internally, and tore one sleeve from her shirt. Then the other, since the asymmetry bothered her. She discarded one sleeve and used the other as a makeshift eye covering. That would cover up the laser until she could find a better solution.

Zia finished her trip without incident and actually managed to arrive on time in the strange white room.

8/26/2012 #7
(For the love of... YES. Or you can add details now. Whatever works best for you.) (Relax. I wouldn't have asked if it was clear to me.) Ishmael too was being led by a uniformed man to a similar room. As they crossed the threshold Ishmael came back to himself from his space-out and took in the room. As he eyed the weapons rack, Ishmael smirked when memories of using an HF blade leaked into his mind. He quite honestly missed some of the earlier VR experiments he'd taken part in, but the program had been terminated and its assets re-allocated. As he ran a hand over his closely cut brown hair, Ishmael wondered what was to become of him now.
8/26/2012 #8
Fantasy Impromptu

Tell reminded himself that it was an honor to see The Computer. That anyone in the First Church of Christ, Computer Programmer would have wept to be summoned by It, that the bracket-like tattoo bound him to a life of unquestioning support for and devotion to The Computer. That escape was futile and it was better to be part of a cult almost openly and even happily loved by the Savior than to die an early, easily, and empty death, before perhaps being respawned, living yet again. (He reminded himself that dying for The Computer was highly accepted, that It rightfully and benevolently held Tell's life in It's cyberkinect grasp.)

Upon entry, the small beads of sweat began to trickle down Tell's neck, over the dark skin. He immediately lowered his eyes, pondering in those precious split-seconds what to do. It was forbidden to address The Computer directly, unless directly prompted to. Conflictingly, it was a mortal sin not to make a gesture of reverence, if not just a murmur of prayer, to honor The Computer, when either in It's presence or that of an effigy.

Tell settled on kneeling deeply before the screen before him, not daring to look directly, while murmuring a small prayer, barely inaudible to even to his own ears.

"Hail the Savior, seer of all, Giver and Taker of glorious life. Let It's benevolent love shine deeply in our own small eyes, let us live under It's watchful gaze for the whole of time,"

8/26/2012 . Edited 8/26/2012 #9

"And that's all of you," A voice said. An empty, mechanical voice, emanating form the screen. The eye twitched back and forth over each of them. "Good. It's always good when people show up on time. Sometimes people don't, they're too busy plotting, then they try to act like - "

The voice cut itself off, stopping for several seconds, the eye twitching faster. When it started speaking again, its words started coming out even faster and faster.

"You're all here. Good. No. Said that. Not plotting, too busy being here. no. Could still be plotting. Not the point. Point. Point is, you're here. You're all Troubleshooters now. You work for me. Everyoneworksforme. Plotting. Alwaysplotting. Notthepoint.Youhaveamission - "

Now the computer stopped again, and when it started talking the third time, the words were slow, deliberate, enunciated.

"You will go to cloning facility Plural S W Alpha 3. When you leave, follow the yellow glowy line. You will need to blow up the facility. Oh, and take a gun. I know you're not trained in using them. You better not be trained in using them. Any questions?"

The eye stopped suddenly, waiting in anticipation.

8/26/2012 . Edited 8/26/2012 #10
Fantasy Impromptu

That gave him a go. It was required to directly respond to It when addressed. Tell bowed his head, as his body was already bent, kneeling, and tried to keep his voice steady. "I will do whatever I can to serve you, my Savior," It came out too gravely, too breathy, he thought, and a momentary lurch of fear washed over Tell's body before he was able to recompose himself. The Computer told him to take a gun. That required standing, and walking to the rack, and grabbing a gun, all while avoiding It's watchful gaze.

Tell thought this through, trying to peer at the rest of the room through lowered eyes, ignoring the other people around him. It was mandatory that he wish they not die, and he personally added on that they not be killed by The Computer, because they (him included) were now Troubleshooters, and that it was a glorious honor. But not as glorious as The Computer, he reminded himself.

He waited until it was okay to move.

8/26/2012 . Edited 8/26/2012 #11
Jorgey wondered to himself if he was supposed to have a question a it occurred to him that the evil robot before him was clearly as crazy as the rumors indicated. It so happened he was trained in how to use a gun, being a member of a secret society bent on ridding the world from the scourge all AI robots, androids, and cyborgs within a city that was ruled by such a thing rather necessitated the learning of self-defense. Obviously he had no intention of indicating such a thing and he was not at all sure what the right question to ask was, if there was in fact one at all. Jorgey chose to remain silent.
8/26/2012 #12
Ishmael frowned as he took a gun, cursing his luck at the fact that his training had been limited to CQC. Then of course he surmised that anyone in his program who had progressed to firearms had probably been executed. With a resigned shrug of his lean shoulders as he chalked it up to the computer's whims, Ishmael strapped a holstered pistol to his right hip over his pale gray jumpsuit. Bloodshot, jaundiced eyes glassed over for a moment as his mind outpaced his body before he turned and left the room.
8/26/2012 #13
Chainsaw Cake

Zia, too, grabbed a gun. Well, at least the laser sight would come in handy, as would the other array of targeting systems found in the chip implanted in her brain. The wonky chip. She hoped it wouldn't do anything too serious during the mission. She followed the others out of the room.

8/26/2012 #14
Fantasy Impromptu

Tell's dear comrades were following the suit of taking a gun and leaving. He supposed he would do the same, assuming that it was an acceptable thing to do in this situation. The Computer honestly looked shell-shocked and jumpy, so following suit would probably put It at more of an ease. The comfort of brainless sheep. Tell nodded along, and bowed lowly, before striding over to the rack, taking a gun, and bowing as he exited through the door, making sure not to turn his back to The Computer until the door closed in front of him.

He let out an inaudible sigh of relief, intermixed with a feeling of slight revulsion (or perhaps fear) that came with hero-worshipping The Computer. Unfortunately, he felt that he had no choice in the matter, as he was underneath The Computer's Benevolent Gaze. Being part of the FCCCP lessened the normal pressure of living in this world, as The Computer either viewed as a bewildering strange cult or a crowd of easily-manipulated sheep. Either way was fine, and Tell honestly did not care.

Like the easily-manipulated sheep that he was, Tell followed the glowing line to what he hoped was not impending doom.

8/26/2012 . Edited 8/26/2012 #15
Jorgey mutely followed his new comrades out of the room after grabbing a gun, he considered taking an extra for a moment but decided such a thing would likely be a death sentence. Happy thoughts firmly in place, he decided now would be as good a time as any to get to know something about the people he would now be working with. "Isn't this exciting?" He asked to no one in particular. "It is so nice to be assigned a task by our wonderful leader himself. Speaking of which, does anyone know where precisely we are supposed to be going. I'm afraid I've never been to Alpha Three."
8/26/2012 #16

"No questions. Good. You don't ask questions. Questions are bad." The Computer's eye spun, then focused on the empty room. "One of you four is a Communist traitor. Could be any of you. Could be all of you. I know. I know everything. But you don't know anything. Now scram."

The eye twitched several times, realizing the room was, in fact, empty. The screen turned black.

Outside was a city street. Solar cars zipped past, powered by the massive lights far, far overhead. A helicopter thumped in the distance, too far to see. Somewhere a few streets over was the sound of a small explosion, followed by the sounds of laser fire.

The entire city was built in shades of brown, gray, and white. There was scarcely any color to be found, save in the lights of machines rolling by and the people's clothes. And the yellow light that ran along the sidewalk, pulsating slightly.

8/26/2012 . Edited 8/26/2012 #17
Fantasy Impromptu

Tell perked up at that, flashing his teeth in a forced-but-genuine-looking smile. They were pale next against his dark skin. "Yes. I am also happy to be put on this glorious mission by our Leader, who so valiantly saved us all, and purges Evil and Despair to keep the Order of our beautiful World. Let us follow the yellow light, comrade, and enjoy what we can so gratefully see in our beautiful World," he smilingly wrapped his arm around the man's shoulder in a half-hug before releasing him. "I have never been to Alpha Three either, nor have I ever held a gun. May luck and the fortune brought by Its Gaze upon us all," That was a half-truth, but Tell was now almost talking to himself it really did not matter.

8/26/2012 #18
Chainsaw Cake

"I've never really gotten a chance to go anywhere," Zia said. "I suppose this'll be a novel experience for all of us."

8/26/2012 #19

Jorgey inwardly cringed when the creepy computer worshiper suddenly broke his personal bubble. The contact made his skin crawl but he pretended not to mind. He found himself believing the pathetic man when he said that he'd no idea how to use a gun amd officially checked him off as a potential liability. "Indeed." He responded cheerfully, casually putting a little extra distance between himself and the hugger. "I suppose we should be able to find a shuttle out that way if we say we're on official business. The name's Jorgey, by the way."

8/26/2012 . Edited 8/27/2012 #20
Fantasy Impromptu

"It will be, my other dear comrade," Tell smiled again, vaguely aware that his jaw was becoming sore from the overt smiling. Better to get used to it.

"My name is Tell, by the way, Jorgey. Tell Asmar is my name, but its length does not humble my companions, so just 'Tell' is acceptable to call me. I am glad and joyous to meet you," He would have sworn to god that this type of speech was making him horribly ill, except that doing so would've just driven him to the edge in its irony.

He thought of the compound. They were supposed to destroy it. And despite appearances, the FCCCP wasn't all fun and games. When communists and other scum were public enemies #1, the FCCCP had created a strict, yet secret, protocol that was effectively hammered into the minds of the cult's males. (Women were too weak, or gentle, for this kind of responsibility). It included a section on emergency weapons use (The Benevolent One ordered this kind of information completely forbidden, but they were the chosen ones, and it was inherently their responsibility to serve and protect It, so this wasn't really a breach). Tell did not feel completely susceptible.

8/26/2012 . Edited 8/26/2012 #21
and the compound (or what must have been it) grew closer.

(Could you please not do that, without saying something about walking? Especially since it's several miles away.)

8/26/2012 #22
Fantasy Impromptu

( Edited & whatnot. Sorry, I'll try to be more realistic. )

8/26/2012 #23

As the small group made for the shuttle station, Jorgey idly wondered to himself why he had been selected as a troubleshooter. He mostly suspected it was simply the random whim of an insane robot. Another part of him considered deeper motives.

While the computer was a psychopathic, corrupt, evil, soulless, machine, even Jorgey would not deny it's vast intelligence. Perhaps this was some sort of test? The AI was obsessed with rooting out "communist traitors" and the lifespan of the average troubleshooter was notoriously short. He failed to see anything he held in common with his new associates so the selection process was clearly rather broad.

So, why bring such a random group of people together for a mission that most people could likely do? The answer was simple: one of these three was a spy! This realization took a backstage in his mind as they stepped into the station's parking lot as a more immediately relevant concern struck him.

Stopping suddenly, he directed his question to the group at large. " exactly are we supposed to blow up a building?"

8/26/2012 . Edited 8/27/2012 #24

A huge car rolled up to the sidewalk at that moment. It looked like a jeep made from scrap metal. It was painted a mix of bright blue, a few pink hearts (one of which was smeared with blood), orange, and a few dark red skulls. A laser turret was mounted on the roof of the cabin, easily accessible form the flatbed. On the flatbed itself (with plenty of room for people to sit or stand), somebody had installed a vending machine. Somebody had slapped a 'Danger: Explosives' sticker onto the vendor; the clear plastic front casing showed that it held only Bouncing Bubble Beverage cans, a well-known energy drink.

A pair of men hopped out of the car. one was clearly a cyborg, with both arms replaced; he also had one green eye and one silver. The other man had several large bumps all over his body.

"Let's get you guys rollin'!" Bumpy shouted at them cheerfully. His grin looked like it was about to split his face in half. "You don't need no boring shuttles!"

"ID, please," the cyborg said to none of them in particular, sounding bored. All of the group members had been issued red ID cards the day before, so as long as somebody had thought to bring theirs...

8/26/2012 . Edited 8/26/2012 #25
"Call me Ishmael." the former test subject said shyly as his eyes surveyed each in turn. "I am the lowest ranked subject of the OCELOT program in its entire history." Ishmael aimed his fairly young visage downward in an expression of shame. The boy couldn't be a day past twenty.
8/26/2012 #26
(Ack! Late response!) Ishmael presented his ID to the cyborg with an airy expression.
8/26/2012 #27

Jorgey blinked at the sudden appearance of the grotesque vehicle and it was with difficulty that he restrained all outward signs of revulsion at the sight of such blatant cyborgism. He promptly pulled out his ID card and handed it to Lumpy, being careful not to let their hands touch in case he was also a filthy cyborg. "Well this is a relief!" He told the "man" amicably. "I wasn't sure if this badge'd mean anything to the blokes inside." He gestured loosely towards the station and hoped the obvious cyborg would refrain from speaking anymore. "Nice to meet you, Ishmael. No need to look so down, at least you were in the program! That's more than most can say.'

8/26/2012 . Edited 8/27/2012 #28

Since Ihsmael was the first to offer a card, the cyborg took his, pulled a scanner form his pocket, and ran the car across its surface. The scanner beeped and flashed a green light. The cyborg handed the card back to Ishmael. "You're clear."

"Ya'll have fun!" Bumpy shouted, still rather too cheerful.

8/26/2012 #29

Jorgey smiled largely at Bumpy as he made to enter the vehicle, a slight look of confusion crossing his features.

He turned to the strange mutant/possible cyborg from inside the bus and carefully kept any signs of apprehension out of his voice. "What, you aren't coming to?"

He hoped to himself that the inquiry had come out as jovial and slightly teasing rather than showing the begining signs of "Oh Hell" that he was begining to feel.

"None of us have actually been to Alpha Three before so we're not actually sure how to get there. Also," Here he gestured towards the vending machine on the flat bed, "unless those soda cans are actually canisters of explosives, we've no idea how we're supposed complete this mission."

8/27/2012 . Edited 8/27/2012 #30
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