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Chainsaw Cake

Crazy fuckin' computer, the janitor thought. He re-entered the building, then came out again with a wheeling trash can, dustpan, fresh broom, and a supply of sawdust.

Least now I'll be gettin' some overtime pay...maybe...

8/29/2012 #61
Fantasy Impromptu

The grenades (Tell internally cursed out the woman besides him - how stupid was it to shoot what was essentially a bomb?) sent shrapnel flying, and he reflexively pressed himself against the metal exterior of the truck, bracing for impact, eyes closed. There was a soft thump besides him, and he assumed one of his comrades had just died, if not seriously injured. But still being able to hear meant that he was still alive.

... Except for the piece of shrapnel that had embedded itself in his exposed arm. Shitshitshitshi-

It could have been much worse, he thought, as tears rolled silently down his cheeks. A hit to the torso would have destroyed his internal organs in a heartbeat. But now his shooting would be worse than normal (and he didn't even shoot, normally) and that would get in the way.

All threats were now gone, though. He stood, prodded the fallen girl with his foot, and hoped to stay alive.

8/29/2012 #62

The truck itself had quite a few new dents and paint scratches from the grenades, not to mention a few holes form the laser fire - as it turned out, the red guys hadn't been to good of shots - but it seemed intact otherwise. Its roof-mounted turret and vending machine were both undamaged.

8/30/2012 #63
Hypno 0

Jorgey arrived on the scene to see the girl he had been planning on using as a scape goat already conveniently dead and his other teammates seemed to be ok, save for the peice of shrapnel in Tell's arm. "Well then," he said cheerfully "we'd better get you patched up, old chap. Help me get him in the van, will you?" He asked his mostly uninjured comrade. "We've still got a mission to complete afterall and we've still to somehow figure out a way to start this damn thing. I suppose we'll be needing to patch this one up first, though."

Stopping suddenly he took a closer look as Tell's tear-streamed face and gave an internal shrug and outwardly "tsked" before calmly shooting the boy in the chest.

"Ah, sorry about that, but happiness is mandatory."

8/30/2012 . Edited 8/30/2012 #64
Chainsaw Cake

"'Scuse me," the janitor said, dragging the body towards the trash can. He stuffed it in headfirst; there was a disgusting grinding, squelching noise that went on for a few moments.

8/30/2012 #65
Hypno 0

Jorgey blinked in mild surprise at the janitor before shrugging and continuing on his way before pausing as an idea struck him.

"'Scuse me, mate," he began, nodding towards the janitor, "you wouldn't happen to know how to get one of these blasted things started again, would you?"

8/30/2012 #66

(He does now.)

8/30/2012 #67
Chainsaw Cake

"You talking about that?" the janitor asked, hooking a thumb at the Most Hideous Vehicle. "What 'zactly happened?"

8/30/2012 #68
Hypno 0
"Yeah," Jorgey replied with a slightly exasperated chuckle, "the whole fuckin' thing just sorta quit on me after I drove a couple blocks! Some voice said to give ID but I couldn't spot a place to scanmy card. That's when all this craziness happened."
8/30/2012 #69
Chainsaw Cake

"Yeah, this is an older model, and some of 'em'll just freeze up on you if you don't insert ID," the janitor agreed. He popped up the hood of the car and gazed pensively at its innards.

"Well, there's your problem," he said, lifting a dead and smoking squirrel from inside the car. Its fur fell off in gritty, blackened chunks, and an acrid stench wafted out from the engine. "Now how in the hell would that get there?" He tossed it into the garbage can-slash-compactor. "Anyway, just stick your ID card in the slot and it should start up again. With these cars, the slot's down by your feet in the driver's door. I think they made it like that so's drunk people couldn't find it and start drivin'." He slammed the hood shut and wiped his hands on his jeans.

"Say, would you mind tellin' me why it looks like a giant pre-schooler on acid threw up all over this thing?"

8/30/2012 #70
Hypno 0
"Thanks much!" Jorgey gave the man his biggest smile while taking out his red card. "I'm afraid your guess on that is as bad as mine. I've got to say, its sure convenient of you to show up like this. Thos sort of thing happen pfte.often around here?"
8/30/2012 #71
Chainsaw Cake

"More'n we'd like," the janitor said. "You're here to blow up my workplace, 'zat so? You're about the fourth group this week."

8/30/2012 #72
Hypno 0
Jorgey made a face, looking around for a moment he shrugged in slight confusion and gave a small sigh. "I didn't think so, where exactly is this?"
8/30/2012 #73
Chainsaw Cake

"We're a clone-o-mat, son," the janitor said. His name was Jimbo. "Official designation Plural S W Alpha 3. Be nice if you didn't shoot me, since I'm just a cleanup guy."

8/30/2012 #74
Sage of the White Sands

((God I wanna join this so bad.))

8/30/2012 #75

(So join it, dumbass.)

8/30/2012 #76
Hypno 0
Jorgey let out a loud laugh and clapped the janitor on the shoulder. "I wasn't even considering it...Jimbo!" He said cheerily, pausing for a moment to read the man's name tag. "I'm just surprised this place turned out to be so damn close. Say, how'd you like to help me blow this place to the seventh Hell?"
8/30/2012 #77

(And when the hell did I say you lot arrived at the right cloning facility? That thing is literally miles away, and they got half a block before the car shut down. The janitor may work at A cloning facility, but not the right one.)

8/30/2012 #78
Chainsaw Cake

"Jobs aren't too easy to come by," Jimbo said. He was slightly unnerved by that loud laughter and sudden invasion of personal space. "I won't try 'n stop you, since I don't have a death wish, but I'm not exactly gonna be jumpin' to your aid, either. There's always a chance that your group might fail, meaning that I'd keep drawin' a paycheck."

8/30/2012 #79

At that particular moment, a Clone Transportation Vehicle rolled on up to the sidewalk, a pure white van so spotlessly bright it was practically painful to look at. The back doors opened up; a clone of Tell was hauled out (he was currently unconscious) by a pair of attendants and placed lying face-up on the ground. A standard issue laser pistol was placed on his chest, and the attendants got back into the van, which promptly drove off. Of the two attendants and the driver, none of them so much as glanced at the group, truck, bodies or blood.

Tell would wake up within a minute at most, with his full memory up to and including death, courtesy of the brain chip standard in all citizens.

8/30/2012 . Edited 8/30/2012 #80
Fantasy Impromptu

(Where did Zia go off to?)

8/30/2012 #81

(She died shortly before Tell. Shrapnel to the eye and through the brain.)

8/30/2012 #82
Hypno 0
With a raised brow Jorgey suddenly noticed the yellow line which was meant to lead him to his destination proceeding for quite aways beyond their current position. He gave a small chuckle before leveling his lazer on the janitor's head. "You stand accused of lying to and distracting a troubleshooter on official orders from completing his mission, for which the immediate penalty is death, you have one chance to tell me the truth and why you lied to me." He told the man pleasantly.
8/30/2012 #83
Chainsaw Cake

"I work two jobs," Jimbo said gruffly. "Do what I gotta do to get by. And with these bullshit letter-and-number names, can you blame me for gettin' 'em mixed up? As for distractin' a troubleshooter...takes two to hold a conversation, man, and besides - I was just fixin' yer truck there for ya."

8/31/2012 #84
Hypno 0
"Hmmm, that was an awefully specific mix up though, Jimbo. The kind that seems a bit to specific to be an accident. I find it hard to believe you'd get alpha three mixed with alpha one at the very least." Stopping to consider for a moment, Jorgey shot the man in the foot. "That was your warning, you'd better tell me something a bit sweeter or I'm afraid I'll have to aim higher next time."
8/31/2012 #85
Chainsaw Cake

"Sure is lucky I got a prosthetic foot," Jimbo said. The stench of melted plastic joined that of dead squirrel. "You don't wanna know how I lost that, but that replacement cost me about half a year's pay...anyway, what is it you wanna hear? I'll be the first t' tell you I'm not the brightest out there, and any of my coworkers could tell you that I'd be 'zactly the kinda guy to get two Alphas mixed up. Aside from that, I got a daughter without a mother, and I don't wanna know what might happen to her if her Pop gets popped, ya know? So just what're you lookin' fer from me?"

8/31/2012 . Edited 8/31/2012 #86
Hypno 0
Jorgey seriously considered killing the man where he stood for the sake of being thorough until a better idea occurred to him. "Hmmm, right then," he began, "I'm afraid I'll have to take you with me Jimbo, assuming you haven't already done away with the men in red's bodies, you and I shall have to search them for weapons and any remaining explosives. Then I'm going to need you to join us for our mission, that way, in the event you are conspiring something I can keep an eye on you."
8/31/2012 #87
Chainsaw Cake

"All right," Jimbo said. He was probably going to die in a future so near, he was tempted to tell it to back off and give him some personal space. Still, the longer he could delay death, the better. Anna May was only eleven.

8/31/2012 #88
Hypno 0
"I appreciate your cooperation." He said with a smile before leading the group to body searching. Luckily they were able to recover six grenades and seven new lazer guns. Jorgey kept two of the guns for himself as well a couple grenades band gave one gun and two grenades to the Janitor. He instructed his remaining teammate to take what he would and put the rest of the truck. "Right then," Jorgey began cheerily, "I daresay we should go rouse Tel, shall we?"
8/31/2012 #89
Chainsaw Cake

"That guy on the ground?" Jimbo asked, giving the prone figure a sideways glance as he put the grenades into one of his many pockets.

8/31/2012 #90
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