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If you named them EVIL and made it stand for something like EverpresentVisual Intelligence League, that would be a different story. Sure, it's fairly obvious, but there's a government department called PMS. It can still be passed off as possible coincidence, while EVERS, which doesn't even make sense as an evil organization's name, is so obvious it deserves a major eyeroll.

This isn't enough information to come up with a title. You have a premise, but no plot. We need the goal of your characters and/or your story, as well as whatever it is that makes it difficult to attain. You've given us neither.

Another question, why would you give a character completely unrelated powers like size changing and hair color fluctuations? Most power packages have some kind of relation or unifying theme. Wolverine had enhancements of his natural abilities, like longevity, healing, strength, smell and hearing. Jean had a range of psychic abilities. Jesse Kilmartin (Mutant X) could spread his molecules apart to phase through stuff, or pull them together to increase his resilience. The Green Lantern had a ring that could do a lot of things, but it always had some kind of relation to magic, telekinesis (same basic mechanics) or technology. Auquaman has powers relating to an underwater existence and generations of evolutionary adaptation to harsh conditions. Sure, there are others that have less related powers, there aren't as many. Superman, Ms. Danvers and the Invisible Woman are a few that come to mind. The point is, most make sense, so I have to wonder why you've decided not to make sense here.

10/29/2009 #121
NaruTard 1.5

Well her minimism is affected by her mood, she reluctantly and most of the time unoticingly grows and shrink depending on the 'feeling'. Big things (anger, jealousy, frustration etc) make her grow, small things (shyness, fright embarrasment etc) make her shrink. She invulontarilly changes accordingly and it's affected by how strong that mood is. So if she slowly gets more and more shy feeling, she'd slowly shrink to as 'small' as it makes her feel. The bigger she 'felt' when being angry, the more she'd grow. Of course she can do it on her own, but since it's such an incredible power, and she's such a mood-swingy type person. (not really, but she does blow a fuse prety quick) it balences her out some.

The hair and skin is an accidental result of an experement she went through, it was supposed to help mutes/deafs express their moods better or even talk. She was mute on purpose, cause of being shy all the time, the experement was supposed to affect the hormones that make you feel shy and help her get over it. Too big a dose also affected the color pigments in her skin and hair and 'linked' them to her bodies mood system.(not sure what its really called, sorry XP) Thus her colors change depending on her current emotion, like a mood ring. So even though her powers aren't connected by effect, they are linked by the cause/ trigger. In this case her mood.

The basic plot is that the evers (How about Everlasting Violent Extortionist Research and Supply group? Better? it sounds like one of those 'arms dealer' dudes like COBRA dontcha think?) had all experemented on the kids in their youth, but they were freed by government infiltration groups. Now fifteen years later, they're the best of friends at the same school. As they try to unravle why they all seem to know eachother, they're called on as 'agents' (not spy kids, more like Alex Raider or tottally spies. Which despite being lame, TS was a fun show. I love how kooky Jerry is XP) to deal with the group that linked them together in the past. (they were all experemented on in the same laboratory) However the government also has a secret partaining to the four kids, the reason they don't remember any of their involvement with EVERS is well...it's a MIB type thing like listed above.

To be honest...SPECTOR was an eyeroller for me, sure it makes sense, but still kinda corny. And its better at least than the name the 'good guy' agency has in tottally spies. Woop, which stands for World Organization Of secret Protectors....sure it's a kids show...but GOD disney could come up with something better! XP

10/30/2009 #122

Dude, over half of all superpowers are affected by a person's mood, that isn't the point. It's the technicolor hair that got me.

Hormones make you feel shy? Since when? People are shy because they think about all the horrible things people could think about them if they make the wrong first impression and they get scared people will hate them. About the only thing you could do about that is to affect the amount of adrenaline she can produce at any one time. But that leads to a whole host of other problems. Why would someone care about curing shyness?

Also, it might have been a good idea to mention an additional power resulted from an experiment gone awry. Like Wolverne's claws. They're completely unrelated to his other powers, but he has them because of an experiment.

Btw, if she didn't talk because she was shy, how could this experiment be one for mutes and deafs? Most mutes and deafs aren't shy like that. Also, deafs have no problems expressing themselves. A large percentage can speak just fine, only having trouble with hard sounds that aren't made by just mouth shape since they can't hear how it's supposed to sound.

Question: How did screwing with hormones affect her hair color?

I think changing the first E to Everpresent sounds better since it conveys an intent to control, which can sound pretty evil. The rest sounds a whole lot better. But why EVERS?

I roll my eyes at SPECTRE too, but I also roll my eyes at a lot of organization names.

10/30/2009 #123
NaruTard 1.5

They don't make you feel shy, but hormons do instil a sense of fear(yes I've read a couple of articals on the "fight or fright" thing, very interesting.), which in conjunction with the thoughts etc you mention would cause shyness correct? It was meant to help them be able to talk, thus enabling them to express themselves better than before. The thoughts that "create" fear affect our horomone system, so no doubt that linking something else to the hormone system would change that along with whatever mood the person is in.

It's like the gama waves for the hulk, what the heck 'makes' his skin turn green exactly? Is it just because the 'gamma' is green, that's the only thing I can think of, cause if the gamma was orange that'd make the hulk orange. There's no 'logical' excuse, there's no true explanation to that one now is there?

The experements 'radiation' accidentally altered the functionality of the COLOR pigments in her hair/skin, which as we know are controlled by genes in our dna to remain that single color correct? It made those genes unstable and linked them to her mood, what she mentally perceves as a change in mood, her genes and brain make the change of color happen for her. It's like when your body decides you need to f***, you can hold it in, but ultimately that gass has to go somewhere. It's the same for this thing, she can't controll the colors, she can try to resist them changing by controling what mood she's in but ultimately there's no "off switch" so to speak.

And when the feeling of shyness is the ONLY reason you'd refuse to talk, express yourself, or enjoy life to it's fullest, I think that'd make some since. Especially because she was quiet like that for about twelve years of her life. Just so you know, she does have mood swings when she gets pissy, it affects how she acts when she gets larger.

Eh good point, I think everpreasant does sound a little 'cooler' vilainwise. As for why EVERS...hmm...well you know, evil is eternal so you know it's like a referanced for how long they want to exsist, pluss it's original. It's better than tagging initials on a company name to save space on the company symbol, like Scolex Industries in inspector gadget? I mean these guys have been right under our noses for decades, centuries even.

keep in mind that this's also science fiction we're talking about here, sure there's some science in it, but there doesn't have to be a completely logical explanation. That's for the fans to try and figure out ya know? I mean, explain to me how exactly Kitty makes herself intangable, what does her body 'do' to make her like that? I know what happens, but from my experiance there was never a clear explanation of "how" it happened. know what I'm sayin...

Not to be completely random in this subject, but would you find Chris's power conveniant in RL? lolz I'd love it, especially with the glitch XP not that I'd be bringing girls to life all the time, but still fun...^+^ is that power (animation) just so rare it hardly happens, or is it just unique and unpredictable...I never understood that. I mean, why do people avoid that power? It's cool! :D

10/30/2009 #124

It's fight or flight, but that's beside the point.

You didn't answer my questions: What does hershyness have to do with mutes and deafs, how would her experiment help them, and why the hell would anyone with the resources and wherewithall to do this waste their efforts on a girl too shy to talk to people? Where are the military/commercial applications? The only thing I can think of is the fear factor and the military looking for fearless supersoldiers, but they'd take a severe phobia case to do experiements on, not a shy little girl. Who backed this, and why did they care?

True, they took a cop out with that. Stan Lee didn’t feel like explaining the changes any further than ‘something no one understands happened, so any random thing could have happened and this is what I chose’. Sure, he didn’t explain it, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least try. Now, if you can’t, that’s a whole ‘nother story. If you can’t you can’t. But you should at least try. Think about this:

Twilight sucks. Bad. People rave about it anyway. Does that mean that you shouldn’t try to be better than Twilight and not suck, make sense, and not destroy a global icon with your sparkly fangirlishness? Hell no.

If you want to improve and get better than you are now, it’s necessary to hold yourself to a higher standard than others. You don’t have to succeed at it, but you should at least try. It's good to see that you did.

Taking it one step further, what I see working for this is her hormone production being messed with. The hormones that cause the production of melanin are linked into her emotional center, while the melanin itself is altered to have a variety of chemical makeups, resulting in a variety of available colors. The melanin would need to not last very long to make her mood-ring abilities change fairly quickly (probably a minute to a few minutes), which means it’ll probably take much more melanin production than normal, but it makes sense that if you’re screwing with stuff, things’ll get broken, right? And irradiated melanin probably would't last as long as normal melanin.

Of course, radiation goes everywhere, so it could also with brain signals, in which case it makes more sense that the melanin is altered to be sensitive to bioelectrical signals in her body, causing it to change color according to amperage or frequency something. That would effect the change much quicker and make a lot more sense with the hair. It’s how I explained the pathetic metahuman I created called ‘Dye’. I created a few with sucky powers since nature isn’t always kind, bestowing cool powers on people. A guy that makes fluffy pink clouds, a girl with hair-color-changing powers, a guy called ‘Gym Sock’ (guess)…yeah. It makes more sense than superawesomeness all the time. Anyway, explaining your powers and how they would can really help, not just in making it believable for your reader, but also in figuring out how to deal with the drawbacks of the power, how to make it grow/change/evolve, what kind of dangers she could potentially face as an indirect result of this power and how a bad guy/well-intentioned philanthropist could shut it off.

keep in mind that this's also science fiction we're talking about here, sure there's some science in it, but there doesn't have to be a completely logical explanation. That's for the fans to try and figure out ya know?

No. The main difference between fantasy and sci-fi is the amount of logic and explanations. The main reason sci-fi has had so much trouble being taken seriously is because of all the writers who insist on hiding behind the lack of sufficient scientific support as a license to write whatever the hell they want. Just because it's fiction does't mean you can't do your best to pose the question, "What if it was real; how would it work?" Think about it, there's all kinds of romantic, horror and action fiction out there. How many of those writers do you think do real research on how their books could actually happen? It's fiction, yes, but that doesn't mean it can't be as realistic as you can get it.

Kitty's molecules phase out by vibrating at a different frequency. When she does that, the gravitational forces that repel other molecules and prevent them from occupying te same space no longer affect each other. Molecules--atoms--are mostly empty space. Without the gravitational forces that keep them together also maintaining their distance from others, there's nothing preventing her from moving in and out of anything. This is also why she affects electrical fields and shorts out computers. Her bioelectrical field shorts out the microchips because she occupies the same space as the unprotected insides. The shielding doesn't protect them from her. The only thing they didn't explain is why she never gets the shock of her life from walking through power cables, or burned from standing in fire. Nor how she can breathe when she's phased.

I didn't read all the powers, but I'll take a look at Chris.

Edit: It sounds like a type of telekinesis, only mostly unconscious. He gives them form and appearance through an energy field he, himself, powers, which would make him being Gary Stu-ish with them very believable. He can make them any way he wants to, and since this is mostly controlled by his subconsious, he'd have hot girls falling all over him. The guys would probably be buddy-buddy with him to a fault, defending him vehemently and probably wanting to focus on him and his needs every waking moment. Not like a slave, but like a devoted friend.

That ability has been done in a few different ways, all but one very well. I wouldn't have them walking off the paper, leaving a blank paper, but no, this doesn't sound convenient for RL. Making his characters a little wackadoodle over him would be very funny and very believable, so long as this wasn't always a good thing for him. I mean, there's always a down side. Show the down side and it'll be fine.

10/30/2009 . Edited 10/30/2009 #125
NaruTard 1.5

Hmm, yeah I guess even the pros get lazy sometimes when explaining stuff even they can't figure it out. Pluss you're talking to a completely non-scientific person here XP but yeah I get what ur saying. And ur Ideas always sound way better than mine, I guess I just suck at that XP

What I meant isn't about the characters that he brings to life, but the other things he makes real. Food, clothes, money, etc instantly become the real thing because they require no life, no energy to 'sustain' themselves. And yeah, the chicks getting lovey-dovey on him is pretty funy. His personality completely folds under the sorta pressure that behavior puts on him xP by that I mean he gets all "uh well er...uhm.." lol And actually, the guys actually crush on him too depending on the pose they're drawn in. The rest of the guys sorta hate him XD True the paintings and animals are alive, but their personalities and 'how' they react to him depends entirely on what style they were drawn in and what *ahem* pose and exprssion they have. For example, girl A( ) would have a far more sensual approach to 'swooning' him than girl B ( because of two things. One would be the expression on her face, the other her pose and clothing.

With Chris the downside of the power is that he doesn't directly control the beings or their personalities, but rather how they're drawn does. What they look like and the expression and pose they're in. So a girl in a 'bunny' shot would be more sexual toward him than a 'nervous schoolgirl' shot. and a Chibi girl would be cute and childish/playful around him lolz They also don't 'walk off' the painting. He actually reaches 'in' then takes their hand and brings them out, and the original painting/photograph remains there.

Also I'ma guy XP

10/30/2009 . Edited 10/30/2009 #126

And ur Ideas always sound way better than mine, I guess I just suck at that XP

You just said you're not scientifically minded. If that's the case, of course my explanations would sound better than yours, they make more sense and are more detailed. More details gives you a clearer picture and more sense makes it more believable. People will always like that better.

That's why I linked a thread called 'Superpower or superproblem' in my profile. So stuff like this can be discussed and a person's fic won't suffer from lack of knowledge, experience or whatever.

Okay, food, clothing and money makes no sense unless you subscribe to the belief that all matter is, at it's base, energy, and that energy can be taken from anywhere and directed to become solid and have the properties of it's preexisting counterparts. In which case, the people he creates would be empty bodies that end up dead, clones with minds created by him and as aware as he is, making uncreation murder and OOCness out of the question, or animated people he can experience life through and control as he controls himself, making the girl thing disturbing and the slutty girl, I-wanna-sex-you-up thing doubly wrong.

Besides, money has serial numbers. I ran into this problem with my own shapeshifters. He creates money and he is basically counterfeiting, which is essentially stealing, only with the added problem that devaluing money can lead to an economic crash which is extremely wrong and evil. I know he wouldn't really think of that, but as the author who controls his own world, you need to. If he was caught with money that has preexisting or nonexistent serial numbers, he'd be arrested for money laundering at the very least.

As for the food, using powers expends energy, so creating food might be pretty moot. My shapeshifters don't do it. You'd need to calories to equal out, or else you get an explosion as excess energy is released, or the food tastes way different from too little of some kind of substance or an alteration of said substance. I'd tell you how my shapeshifters handle the clothes, but I'm pretty protective of that idea. I will say that it makes a lot more sense that he would create illusions of those things that disappear when he leaves and have no nutritional value at all, but can fool all five senses into believing they are real. This can actually be an advantage since he could eat all the summoned food he wanted and never gain weight. If he ran a resturant, he could advertise the zero-calorie desert menu and make heaps of money.

Another thing to think about is conflict. Without conflict, there is no interest. Conflict is what prevents you from attaining your goal. Money is one of life's biggest conflicts, but some others are lovers, shelter, family, food and that sort of thing. If you have all those things, you have nothing to fight against, and by proxy, nothing to strive for. Which is boring. You don't want Chris to be boring, do you? All powerful is never the way to go.

Edit: ...I know you are a guy. When did I say any different? Was it the fangirlishness thing? I was describing the author of Twilight at the time. You aren't sparkly either; she is.

10/30/2009 . Edited 10/30/2009 #127
NaruTard 1.5

Ah that does make more sense X_X oh well, perhaps that is true so mabye we scrap objects then. But then he does have to donate part of his 'life energy' to give them life, albiet a very minute bit of it. Like one ounce compared to an entire two leter drink bottle. That would explain why the girls(and some of the guys) are sort of*ahem* drawn to him, because they feel his 'life' in their bodies. Then again it may just be a 'technical' glitch in the power rather than a logical one that could be figured out easier.

Eh I just thought that randomly about the not being a guy thing, my bad XP. Also, an update on my drawing thing. I've made no progress in actual drawing, I have however discovered I'm a remarkable trace-ist and that my shading isn't half bad already.(though there is room for improvement, it's still decent for someone who's never picked up a pincel b4) I'd scan some pics and show u with a pm, but I can't get my stinking scanner to work. T-T.

10/30/2009 #128

Life energy isn't measured in ounces and liters, but I get what you're saying. Where this is concerned, the author usually choses a max number of summons that can be controlled at any one time without completely draining the character. Skill decreases the amount of energy waste during creation and increases the efficiency, while excercise increases the average output level and increases the stamina needed to sustain the maximum output level. Basically, that translates to:

Pick a starting point for how many he can summon before getting tired.

As he practices, increase that number, and decrease how tired each one makes him.

Think really hard about where his power and skill levels are before attempting to let him create a supermassive giant summon that nearly--but miraculously doesn't--kills him.

Lol. How do you shade? You can't shade as well the same way you draw. It doesn't come out looking nearly as good. If you lie the pencil down so you are using the flat of the graphite, it works much better, and you can take a soft napkin/kleenex/toilet paper sheet and rub the graphite to blend it into a nice, even shadow. The lighter the pencil was on the paper when you shaded, the less lines will still show up after you've blended it. It is WAY cooler than crosshatch or any other kind of shading. Inking is the closest thing to its coolness, but even it is blown out of the water. I could link you to a pic I did with that kind of shading so you can see. He's so evil it's scary!

Check the forum. Ten Ways to Spoil Dinner needs Zelda fanfic help. I'm doing what I can, but the nouns confuse me. I have no idea who they are or how things work there.

10/30/2009 #129
NaruTard 1.5

Life energy isn't measured in ounces and liters, but I get what you're saying.

I figured you'd say that lol, yeah I know it isn't measured that way. It was just an unscientific person using an especiallyunscientific reference XD

Yeah, I'm working on that now about his limit, not just how many he can summon, but how long they can stay alive. Like if it's one of his sketches, the longer he spent working on the picture itself, the longer that ammount of life energy would sustain them. I'm working up a little scale for that actually, and I can pm that and the other numbers you were talking about too. For example, a two hour drawing wouldn't last as long as a ten hour piece, but that's just the brief mechanics of it. There are a lotta other factors that come into play. Like the stylisim, how 'big' in scale they are, etc ^_^

As for shading, I'm not doing anything uber special with it, which for now suits me just fine, when I do start drawing my own stuff however I'll keep that in mind. What I do is pretty simple. I hold the pencil at a slight angle, probably somewhere between 75-60 I dunno. Then I just briskly move the pincel back and fourth, in contour of the lines I want to shade. If it's a straight line(like a pair of legs for example), I use a diagonal stroke, if it's 'curved' I try to follow the movement of those lines. I can get about four or five different 'shades' as far as color, which is fairly good for a beginner.

10/30/2009 . Edited 10/30/2009 #130

I figured you'd say that lol, yeah I know it isn't measured that way. It was just an unscientific person using an especiallyunscientific reference XD

Measurements don't actually exist to measure life energy yet, so I wouldn't expect you to know the proper term. You'd have to see into the future to when they've invented a proper term. Life energy doesn't behave the way electricity, light, radiation kinetic energy or heat do, but it does share properties with all of them. Different properties, different measurement name.

Although, liters is for fluids.

Hmm....Linking the life to how long he took on it makes sense. The longer he takes on it, the more energy he has put into thinking about it, and the more real it would be to him. Technically, if he trained himself, he wouldn't need that crutch, but it's not like he's likely to discover that on his own any time soon.

Yes, as a beginner, being fancy isn't good. Start with the basics and work your way up. You need to build up your manual dexterity anyway, so radically altering pencil holds would probably set you back. I'm not sure if you'd be trying to excercise muscles in a way you really haven't and hurting yourself if you tried my way or if it would be fine. I didn't discover shading until I was in high school and the one drawing class I took made us do a project on that. I fell in love with shading and tried all kinds of stuff, even discovering that Krispy Kreme napkins work best for blending regular, number two pencil lead. But by then, I'd already been excercising my hand muscles for years, building up strength and control in them. Trying to do a direct jump could potentially result in injury, like it did when I tried to draw with my left hand once.

When you say 'five different shades', what are you talking about? Tint (color+white), Tone(color+gray), Shade(color+black) or Hue(color)? Or do you mean levels of pressure with a pencil?

10/30/2009 . Edited 10/30/2009 #131
NaruTard 1.5

I guess tone since all I'm using is a black and white pencil XP

As for Chris, yeah that is sort of a crutch, but he can use it to his advantage too. Once he figures that 'link' out like you said, it'll be way easier for him to pick the right sketches for the situation. It's not how much life he puts into them, just how long they stay alive, though he can eventually add the ammount of energy he puts into them and add longetivity to them a bit like preservitaves. At the start he can only bring three to five things to life and he starts getting worn after the third, it's also affected by 'what' exactly he's making alive. And seriously though, have you seen who framed rogger rabbit? Cause that's really what the sketchings look like alive lol just in whatever stylism they were drawn in.

10/30/2009 #132

It's not how much life he puts into them, just how long they stay alive

Hold up, what? Wait, synthetic stuff doesn't have a shorter lifespan because it's built that way, it has a shorter lifespan because it has less energy keeping it alive. It's like batteries. Unlike cars and computers, all his constructs are built the same way with the same materials. The only difference is how much time he spent feeding energy into them. He pours more energy into something, it'll last longer, although he'll be more drained by it too. Size is also a factor, since small things require less energy to maintain form than big things do. Which is why mice don't eat as much as people do.

Yes, I saw Roger Rabbit. I know what cartoons look like when they are given form like that.

Btw, you should know that it takes people a very long time to learn how NOT to use a crutch to perform a magical or psychic function. It's like the Naruto jutsus, HP magic words and wand gestures and all that stuff. They don't need it to do that stuff, but they need it to remember how to do it right, and have the confidence to make it work. Early on, when you first start learning to stop using crutches, it won't even work. Nothing will happen. You can try it over and over again and nothing will happen, until one day, finally something does happen. It'll be small, short and disappate quickly but it'll happen and you'll know you finally did it. After that, it usually takes intense training get the same thing to work half as well as it did with the crutch, making you better off only dumping it in practice, but it will still get stronger. There are rare cases where the power is uncomplicated enough that it only takes a few months to get just as good without the crutch, but I haven't seen that often. Usually the crutch makes it much easier.

10/30/2009 #133
NaruTard 1.5

Well he's compassionate about his work, so he puts his heart into it already, giving it some life in the eyes of an artist, but I guess that does make sense. Humm...I gotta rethink the logics of his powers a little then.

And I've seen that movie too lol imagine Jessica(or someone else) but in the anime stylism XP actually I'd tottally date her either way if she weren't already married oh well, too bad it's just a movie XD. Not cause of the nice set o boomers btw, but cause she's just a cool character overall. I mean seriously. "I wanted to protect my husband so I knocked him out with a frying pan" rofl

Also it's not just the jutsus, like the handsigns, you would need to learn what kinds of elemetal chakra for so and so jutsu and how much to use too. Chris actually does have a few crutches in using his power too. Like Magneto and his hand motions in a way, they don't make it easier, but it makes the power easier to concentrate on. "Okay I wanna turn this ball of steel into a shiny disk, so I'll try moving my hand like I was holding a plate" I know they don't think that, but that's sorta how it works in some cases, especially with the weirder power like his.

10/30/2009 #134

Well he's compassionate about his work

You mean passionate, right? Compassion is tenderness and forgiveness. Passion means you really care.

Also it's not just the jutsus, like the handsigns, you would need to learn what kinds of elemetal chakra for so and so jutsu and how much to use too

Yes, I know you need specific chakras to tap for that, but that's still necessary. It's just the jutsu that you don't need. The energy type is still important.

Okay I wanna turn this ball of steel into a shiny disk, so I'll try moving my hand like I was holding a plate

Yes, people will often shape their powers using similar hand movements. That's why thusting your hand out to sort of 'push' the energy forward is often used when attacking other people with massive amounts of energy. It helps them concentrate on doing mentally what they want to happen physically.

10/30/2009 #135
NaruTard 1.5

Yup, another case is that when a Jedi wants to do a force 'push' they keep their hand flat, but when they do the lightning they hold their fingers out like they were really shooting lightning.

I meant both, he tries to forgive the guys that attack him sometimes right after they get brought to life. Like say he brought a picture of Samurai Jack (Awesome show btw ^_^) Jack of course would act like himself in the show, probably thinking Chris was some dude working for Aku (not sure if that's spelled right XD) and start attacking him.

What chris does is he waves his hand around the boarder of the image, then holds his hand like hes about to snapp his fingers off to the side, when he's done adding life energy, he snapps his fingers. Then he reaches in and 'pulls' them out. If it's a life sized sketch, then naturally they will 'walk' out, but not without Chris guiding them past that one barrier. He actually walks completely 'into' the photograph/sketch and brings the person or creature he wants back 'out' with him.

While this conversation is helpfull in several ways, however I still lack a decent title XD EVERS is just the title of the bad guy group. What about CIA VS EVERS or something? lol

10/30/2009 #136

Aku is spelled right.

The problem is that you still haven't provided a plot. You've got the premise, which is the beginning, or where the fic starts, but the plot is how it evolves to an end. We need to know, at the very least, the direction this fic is going to take, if not where it finishes. Then we can talk about giving it a title.

CIA vs. EVERS? Remember Ecks vs. Sever? Not a good title. It tells the reader nothing about the fic except that there's going to be a fight between the CIA and some random badguy organization and that the author lacks imagination. Not going to help your fic at all.

10/30/2009 #137
NaruTard 1.5

Hmm that's good, cause when he says it it sounds like Haku XD

Well the general plot is more them getting better control of their powers and themselves, and becomming a team that knows how to cover eachothers weaknesses. At first they're like the worst team of heroes ever(Think the Avengers in the first movie, but worse than that even), but as the fic progresses and we find out more about them and more about what EVERS did to each of them. They all start bonding and whatnot, making a more effective team, during this though EVERS is constantly doing things to tear their 'team' appart. Making it harder for them to trust eachother later on, there's still that small light that keeps them together so to speak. But ultimately, things between them during their 'normal' lives get more and more hectic. Though by the end of the story (when things get dangerous about them giving up on eachother) they find out that EVERS was causing the trouble, they learn from their mistakes and become even better 'friens' as a result. Is that enough of a plot for you? I know its a tad cliche' but it is a sorta high school fic after all.

Before you ask why EVERS is messing with the kids in the first place. Well they were all 'test' subjects for evers group, but the government stepped in and freed them, forcing evers 'underground' as they put it. That was years ago, like when they were real llittle, now that they're older and don't know about it, along with having slightly better control of their powers. EVERS wants them back, and they'll do anything to get them back.

10/30/2009 . Edited 10/30/2009 #138

Yeah, well, he's pissed. Btw, I hated the show. My brother liked it, so I have a general idea of the plot. Mostly what annoyed me was the 'art'.

EVERS wants them back, and they'll do anything to get them back.

You see, there's your plot. They want a normal life. EVERS tries to take it away from them.

Now we need a genre. I'll assume action/adventure, but if you wanted something different, let me know. Also, is there any message behind this story? Anything you want to say about humanity, life, good and evil, or anything like that? Those can also be important to choosing a name. Freedom For All? is about a free for all of fighting with too many sides to count, but it also makes a statement on prejudice and persecution. I'll do what I can with what I've got now though.

10/30/2009 #139
NaruTard 1.5

lol I loved it XD But only for jack cause of the ocasional one liners, he tries to make a joke but his voice was so monotone and serious it makes the line hilarious XP I really liked the show's story though, it was interesting and the characters and sounds were good. Heh I agree about the artwork, I suppose they were trying to make it more comicbook ish. Hmm, perhaps if it was in anime stylism, maybe CGI?

As for your moral hum. I suppose that where teamwork and gadgetry fails, true friendship always pulls through in the end.( I know it's an old one, but heck, it works don't it?) It's more sci-fi than action/adventure. Again, it's half-ly a High school fic, because a majority of it will be about their lives. Though there will be mission segments, the main focus for a good chunk will be bonding with and understanding the characters.

So who was it you said needed help with the zelda fic? I'd be happy to help, though I really only know the games themselves like the back of my ***ing hand XP I can reccomend them an awesome zelda fan site that can provide all the zelda goodies he/she needs to know. ^_^ How good is it...well it's basically the zelda virsion of Leafninja.com put simply.

10/30/2009 #140

In the Land of the Free (it's just ironic that innocent kids would fight for their lives and freedom in the land of the free)

Pursuit Everlasting (Play on EVERS)

Fear Everlasting (Another kind of play on EVERS for another kind of fic)

Innocent Until Proven Mutie (no idea if it's anywhere near the X-men fandom)

Project Aries: Revival (don't know what project you'd call it, but that name fits)

Ten Ways to Spoil Dinner created a new thread for a Zelda fic he's writing. Mostly he needs help on subplots, which I can't do much about since I know nothing about Zelda. He just needs a sounding board to bounce ideas off of.

You can't miss the thread, it's his only one.

10/30/2009 . Edited 10/30/2009 #141
NaruTard 1.5

What about Happy EVER after? XD jk those all sound good actually hmm, I never thought of playing off of those angles. lemme run a coupla (serious this time lol) random ones past ya too and we'll narrow them down.

Freedom for EVER (A joke about both sides fighting for what they want the most)

Friendship isn't for EVER (Another word play about what EVERS is trying to do to the kids)

Everlasting Courage (despite what evers did, they still were friends in the end. XP)

Dang, lol first we don't have *** to work with now we got eight good ones, two heads are better than one XD Though I think we could scratch out the first two, it's too close to that other exsisting book Tuck Everlasting, they're still good though lol

For EVER or worst (Another word play on how they stayed friends even against all the hellish odds)

10/30/2009 #142

That last one is supposed to be For EVER or For Worse, isn't it? A variation on 'for better or for worse'?

I also have United We Stand, or Life/Power is Fleeting, Friendship is Forever.

I think capitalizing EVER might be a little obvious. Btw, what fandom is this?

10/30/2009 #143
NaruTard 1.5

Lol it's no fandom, it's for a FP fic XD

But yeah, I'm just capitolizing them here so we know what the pun is comming from. And yeah, for better or worse lol

10/30/2009 #144

Oh, Fictionpress! I forgot FP is also short for that. You never answered me when I asked before. I notice that happens a lot. Do you just skim posts? If so, please look for the question marks.

How about 'What Ever Happened to My Happily Ever After?'

10/30/2009 #145
NaruTard 1.5

Eh I went for Friendship isn't for Evers, it sounds more cool! :D Also it's online yay!

Ah and when I said Chris could bring money and stuff to life, I never said he WOULD do it, I'm just saying he can. He actually hates that part of his power to be honest. The only thing he does is food is when he gets one of those random cravings and doesn't feel like rushing to the lunchroom or whatever. If he writes down what he wants it to taste like and just that it curbs his hunger its the same as eating regular foods. XD

11/1/2009 #146

Okay, good. Glad to help out.

Ah and when I said Chris could bring money and stuff to life, I never said he WOULD do it, I'm just saying he can.

Even just saying he can gives him too much power. I ran into that problem with my shapeshifters, so I had to come up with stuff that would balance it all out. I figure you aren't even going to want to think about the logistics of the power hard enough to do that, so leaving money out of the equation is much simpler. Sticking just with pseudo-living beings and temporary illusions is probably going to be much easier for you.

The food thing I don't buy just because I haven't been able to justify it against the law of the conservation of energy. Energy can neither be created, nor destroyed, and food is where we get our energy from. So were does the energy come from in the foods he summons? It has to be from whatever matter he remakes to become his food. But all he has to work with is the air around him, maybe ink or pencil lead, dirt and air pollutants, etc. And it takes energy to use his powers. So where is he getting his energy from to make it worth it to create his food? I've been calling it a push for my shapeshifters. Then again, my shapeshifters expend incredible amounts of energy to shapeshift, so they require a high sugar and high fat diet too.

11/1/2009 #147
NaruTard 1.5

Well he can bring anime characters to life right, what if he brought Sakura to life, he'd be able to learn chakra control which is a completely different type of "energy" our body supposidly creates. Though overusing chakra can have disasterous effects, using significant ammounts of it (say seventy percent) doesn't seem to affect their hunger or physical condition. That is at least not unless they blow a particularly huge ammount of it all at once, like using Chidori twice in a row. What keeps us "alive" is our spirits, so theres no real way to tell, perhaps he draws the energy from the paper, which used to be a 'living' tree. That tree had a nice store of energy you know.

Not the most logical thing I know, but hey I'm just bouncing ideas around and not sayin or doin nothing with it in-fic untill we think of something solid. Er...solid enough for science fiction at least. lolz

The thing with just sticking with pusuado (***ty word to type btw XD it means 'imitation' right?) living beings. Is that its still pretty powerfull, once he gets over the crutch. If they're photographs, he'd be generating a clone of that real life person, it wouldn't matter if it was a video game character either, like say he brought Samus Aran out. All he would have to do is point her in the right direction and watch her go until the life span went out. Though, I guess the summonings and lifespan limits balences it out some, but still. If he went 'bad' holy ***t for us right? lol

Hmm...good point about the money thing, even using it when he was scrap for normal cash would be too godlike with that power.

11/1/2009 #148

Well he can bring anime characters to life right, what if he brought Sakura to life, he'd be able to learn chakra control which is a completely different type of "energy" our body supposidly creates.

No, you misunderstand. The way you set it up is that he animates their bodies with his own life energy. That means that he is recreating copies of them with the resources he has. They don't know anything he doesn't know. They aren't complete people with their own complete lives; unless he was right there living something, they can't remember it in any more detail than you can remember a backstory you created for a character.

That is how what you described to me would work if it could work. Now, if you wanted them to know things he doesn't know, it'd be infinitely more complicated to make realistic and require that these people previously exist somewhere first. He'd basically be pulling their life energy from another place and infusing it into this new body he created, or he'd be copying their knowledge and memories onto the energy he was infusing on the new body. Either way, unsummoning them is tantamount to murder.

What keeps us "alive" is our spirits, so theres no real way to tell, perhaps he draws the energy from the paper, which used to be a 'living' tree.

A living tree with all its nutritional value removed, destroyed or consumed. Paper is what is left over after tons of processing. It has little more energy left than a rock. When paper is burned, the energy released comes from a chemical reaction of its different atoms breaking up and recombining very quickly, thus losing kinetic energy in the form of heat light and motion. The energy it had as a living thing was lost long ago when it began to die and wasted away, living off it's energy stores. Ever seen the cells in dead, dry wood? Empty cells. Just the walls. Then, after all the processing, chemical treatment and glueing, I'm sure it doesn't have much left to lend to being a food source.

Not the most logical thing I know, but hey I'm just bouncing ideas around and not sayin or doin nothing with it in-fic untill we think of something solid. Er...solid enough for science fiction at least. lolz

I know. You're doing the best you can with what you've got. I've been thinking on stuff like this for years.

Pseudo: n. fake; imitation; not real; used in place of the real thing but not genuine.

The thing about fake people is that they are obviously not real. They may act like it, look like it, feel like it and be treated like it, but fake people are fake. They don't have real minds that experience real pain, fear, love or any other emotions, tey just imitate the effect of said emotions. Destroying one of them is much like destroying a copy machine. Nobody cares--not even the copy machine. But a real person cares whether you destroy them or not, making such destruction wrong. Even when the destruction of a real person was pre-planned, before their creation, but their being a real person wasn't. Once it is discovered that what you have is a real person that cares whether or not you destroy them, you can't do it or it'll be wrong.

So I wouldn't get into the summoning and unsummoning of real people. Just copies.

11/2/2009 #149
NaruTard 1.5

I know. You're doing the best you can with what you've got. I've been thinking on stuff like this for years.

lol years? No wonder your ideas always sound better XD Well that and the fact you actually know what ur talking about science fictionwise lolz

Hmm, with that being said, the his memories thing? Well let's say he's a fan of naruto, and he knows everything about them including personality, skills, etc and 'imbedds' that information into them when he creates them? Sure they'd be copies, but even saying "she knows a lot about chakra" would be grounds for that character to 'know' and be able to teach him what they knew in the show, even if they weren't the original?

Let's take samus Aran for example. He could 'imbed' her picture of the space pirates in her mind when thinking of his targets, when thinking of himself and his buddies, he'd 'imbed' the image of Federation troops in her memories. She'd still see the actual people, but what she 'thought' they were in her mind would be either one. Space Pirates= bad guys while Chris and his buddies=federation members. By definition in her mind.

Also if you don't mind me posting the little excerpt here, I was wondering if the way I had him bring them to life was 'okay' even by comic book standards. It still leaves the original image on the page mind you, and this is only how he does it for "life size" photos, posters, sketches. (And yes they are 'copies' as you put it) but it's a little out there. Buuut...nobodie's complained so far who's read it soo...

11/2/2009 #150
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