Writers Anonymous
Writers, come in. Talk about your stories, problems, any advice you need, critique, etc. You don't have to be good, you just need to want to write! Fanfic or original fic writers, all are welcome. Read the rules before posting or risk Rhea's displeasure.
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TheEvilBunny

Do you get lots of reviews that just say "Great job" or "You suck" or "Please update"? Are you looking for more substance to your reviews, a review that actually tells you which parts are good and which need improving on, i.e. constructive criticism? Welcome to the WA review game! (Idea taken from www.mibba.com.)

What to do:

Review the chapter/story requested by the person above you on the reviewing page of the story, then post the review here in the forum as well, just so we can monitor if everything's going fairly. After that state at the end of the post which story/chapter you want critiqued. Only when you review can you say which story of yours that you want reviewed, and then the next commenter will review that and say what he wants reviewed, then the next person will review that one...and so on....

What your review should include:

Constructive criticism. Imagine you're beta-ing, only less. Say what you love about the story, what you don't understand, what didn't work for you, or whatever. We have a topic with further suggestions on how to make your review helpful, and it can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/2872/9164734/1/ (also included is a list of 'checkpoints' one of the forum members use, found in post number 12.)

Reviews should be at least 50 words long - a reasonable amount of content, anyway. This means rambling for 30 words on how you don't know the fandom and then having only 20 words of concrit is unreasonable. That first 30 words did not help the author figure out what was right and wrong about the story.

This is a give-and-take system, so please think about what kind of concrit you are looking for, and then think about what you are giving. Would you be happy with the kind of concrit you are giving, if someone gave you the same sort of thing for your own story?

What kind of stories can I ask for concrit on?

You can ask for reviews not just for stories on ff.net but on fictionpress as well (in fact, anywhere online) - just make sure you enable anonymous reviews, because not everyone has an account there. You can also ask for the same chapter/story twice, but that means if someone has already reviewed it they can't do so again - so please be sure to add that if someone has already reviewed it, they are free to read and review something else. If your story is rated M and above, be sure to mention this, as well as why it's M (so people can decide if they are willing to read that sort of story).

What if someone posts a one-liner review or a review that isn't really concrit?

Reviews that, when posted on the forum only make up one or two lines in total will not be counted as constructive criticism. The whole point of this topic is so that one-liner reviews wouldn't be posted. So what to do when someone only posts a line or two? If you think it wasn't really concrit, post here with why it's not concrit (and don't be mean ;P). This 'pauses' the game and one of the mods will make the final call as to whether or not a review is counted or not. You can 'pause' the game even if you aren't the author of the story that got the one-liner review.

If you've posted that one-liner review, all is not lost. Just post again with something more akin to concrit, as long as someone else hasn't already reviewed. If they have, you'll just have to move on to the next story.

- - - - - - - - - -

[From Monotonehell:] Perhaps it would be an idea if everyone used bold to highlight the two steps taken. That is;

My review for (insert name here): (copy review here)

Next person please review my story: (insert name, chapter here)

If someone sees something they think looks interesting but has already been reviewed - never mind, go ahead and review it anyway, I'm sure the author won't mind an extra one! But, in that case, don't copy it here or the thread will get horribly confused. Also, if you'd like to thank your critiquer or anything that isn't a copy of your critique + the story you want reviewed, please don't post it here; PM them instead.

- - - - - - - - - -

TheEvilBunny's request: Please review my story "Through the Glass" chapter two. Thanks!

3/23/2008 . Edited by Rhea Silverkeys, 7/6/2010 #1
Monotonehell

My review for Evil Bunny:

I know nothing of Teen Titans so I can only critique based on the prose I read. This would make a very good leading chapter for a story. It has a few points of mystery about it, gives the reader a reason to want to read the next chapter. It possibly needs a little more of a teaser for the last line though. You captured the silly teen boy lusting over a girl quite well. Although it's possibly a little too heavy on the flowery romance - boys tend to be a little more mechanical about their emotions. Even though they hurt just as much as girls. Is good. Keep writing!

Next person please review my story:

Either Some Enchanted Evening if you're lazy or Chapter 2 of Yesterday People if you want a challenge.

3/23/2008 . Edited 4/1/2008 #2
cathrl
I think this is an excellent idea! (And let me suggest that if someone sees something they think looks interesting but it's already been reviewed - never mind, go ahead and review it anyway, I'm sure the author won't mind an extra one! But please, in that case, don't copy it here or the thread will get horribly confused). I'll swear I've read Yesterday's People before, but I don't seem to have reviewed it, so... [q]Wow, a fandom I know! Well...a fandom I watched a decade or so ago. This is very nicely written, with good characterisation (as far as I remember :) ) and people who are presented as individuals, who speak and think differently and have different objectives. Just a few nitpicks: You're consistently presenting dialogue tags wrong: "I can't.. get it." He said weakly. "What?" He exclaimed. should be "I can't.. get it," he said weakly. "What?" he exclaimed. The tag isn't a sentence of its own, it doesn't get a capital letter and the speech shouldn't end in a full stop (but it does keep a ? or an !). The POV wanders a bit occasionally. For instance, the boy in the hospital is confused and can't see more than blurs - but suddenly you say that the nurse adjusts an IV drip above his head. You're in the boy's POV, he shouldn't know this sort of detail. I was very confused by the sudden flashback (where Duke gets called Megabyte again). Who's having it? I did wonder if it was the boy in the bed, but there's no hint. As a flashback purely for the reader, I think it needs more introduction to tell us why it's there. But in general it's very well written. It sucked me in to the extent that I'm off to read the rest of it :) And now I'm feeling all nostalgic for a show that ended much too soon.[/q] As far as my fic goes? Feel free to pick anything. Probably the most accessible (and a short one) is Graduation, which was intended for an audience who don't know the fandom, or you could take a crack at the start of Disaster in the South Pacific.
3/23/2008 #3
Lady Tragic
Drat, I already gave "Graduation" a quick review during the competition, So first chap of "DIsaster" it is. [q]I like it. I could follow it despite being familiar with *neither* fandom, and was interested enough t keep reading in spite of it. Concrit: Some of your sentences tend to run on.[/q] Review... Heck, anything. I'm partial to both "Not Her" and "Dead Letters" out of my oneshots, though my favorite is my multichaptered story "Lost". Though "The End" has no reviews... I dunno. Just pick something, I'll be thrilled with the review. ^.^
3/23/2008 #4
Neuroleptic
O.K. Lady Tragic. I chose to review your Fire Fly fic The End. I left the same review on it I'm going to put here, but I must say it's a shame not many have reviewed it. Even though it's short, It's not too bad really. [h]You know, despite the fact that this story is extreamly short, I actualy kinda like it. River isn't my favorite character in Fire Fly by a long shot. But I do like the way you described her dieing. It accomplished making me feel both sorry and glad for her. So even though it's so short, you accomplished what is probably the hardest thing to do with a story. Make someone FEEL something. You realy could turn this little story in to a much larger one if you gave it a go. If you gave us more to work with that feeling we get from only a few hundered words would be much more powerful. [/h] Ok, hope that helps out somewhat. The story I'd LIKE to have reviewed with heavy heavy heavy constructive critisism is Double Jeopardy. If you can't or don't want to read the whole thing, just go with a random chapter that has an interesting sounding title. Though you probably won't understand it if you do that . . . If you can't stand at all to review that one, pick one of the other two shorter stories.
3/24/2008 #5
Chiwizard
I reviewed 'Chocolate Covered Valentine', instead of 'Double Jepordy'. Sorry, but it's been a while since I was in the Sailor Moon fandom, I didn't feel like I could give really good concrit for your bigger fic. -_- The review: [q]This was very cute! I haven't seen an Ami-Makoto pairing before (then again, it's been a while since I've been in the Sailor Moon fandom) and I did enjoy reading this. Now I just have to wonder if you're going to write a White Day sequel...[/q] ... The story of mine I would most like reviewed is 'Grand Clockwork Nightingale'. I NEED some realistic concrit on it, it's been my brainchild since almost when I started on this site. It's already gone through one massive rewrite (not that the rewritten section's been fully posted yet) and I'm [i]still[/i] not even sure if I've finished it halfway yet. ^_^()
3/25/2008 #6
cathrl
I'm just going to stick my head up and point out that people are falling into a pattern of asking for detailed concrit on their own fic after giving a two line review to the one before. Obviously the person reviewing your fic is going to decide how they want to review...but I'd suspect you're much more likely to get concrit if you give some first...
3/25/2008 #7
SpiderWolve
Meh, I reviewed one of yer your "Sams Tale" fanfic despite your just poking your head up Cat ;) [q]Wow, that was very much worth the read. Love the writing style as well, imagining this girl with a headpeice on, talking in to it as the text floats in front of me. Great lesson too. [/q]
3/25/2008 . Edited 3/25/2008 #8
Chiwizard
[q]I'm just going to stick my head up and point out that people are falling into a pattern of asking for detailed concrit on their own fic after giving a two line review to the one before. Obviously the person reviewing your fic is going to decide how they want to review...but I'd suspect you're much more likely to get concrit if you give some first...[/q] Hey, I didn't give any concrit because I'm not familiar enough with the fandom to give any concrit. Useless concrit from someone who knows basically nothing is way worse than no concrit at all, isn't it? [q]Meh, I reviewed one of yer your "Sams Tale" fanfic despite your just poking your head up Cat ;)[/q] ...Being skipped over doesn't make me feel very happy, you know. -_-
3/25/2008 #9
Monotonehell
[q]Hey, I didn't give any concrit because I'm not familiar enough with the fandom to give any concrit. Useless concrit from someone who knows basically nothing is way worse than no concrit at all, isn't it? "Meh, I reviewed one of yer your "Sams Tale" fanfic despite your just poking your head up Cat ;)" ...Being skipped over doesn't make me feel very happy, you know. -_-[/q] Chiwizard, I'd suggest that you have another think about you wrote for Neuroleptic's fic. [q]This was very cute! I haven't seen an Ami-Makoto pairing before (then again, it's been a while since I've been in the Sailor Moon fandom) and I did enjoy reading this. Now I just have to wonder if you're going to write a White Day sequel...[/q] All you've said is that you thought it was cute and you enjoyed it. Would you like to expand on that? What did you enjoy? What worked well? What didn't? Was the prose good? Or was it too matter of fact? Critiquing a fic is more than just saying whether you liked it or not, you need to comment on the quality of prose. It doesn't matter whether you're familiar with the fandom or not, you can still comment on what you have read. Please have another go, offer some constructive criticism, and maybe someone will be kind enough to return the favour for your fic. :)
3/25/2008 #10
TheEvilBunny
Monotonehell's right. This forum is for giving long reviews that can actually help the author in writing...with your review, however, wasn't as helpful as it was supposed to be. Try reviewing again, so the game and continue, and this time, don't think about the fandom. Just review the writing-style and the grammar, or quote a few lines... Remember, the review must be at least ONE PARAGRAPH LONG. :)
3/26/2008 #11
Rhea Silverkeys
[q]Remember, the review must be at least ONE PARAGRAPH LONG.[/q] Paragraphs can vary in length. Maybe a word limit would be better? I've taken a look at reviews I usually give and they usually vary in length from 60 words to more than 200 words. What do you think? New rule, reviews must be at least...oh I don't know. 60 words long? (Also, request permission to edit the first post to clarify the rules, and clean-up the topic so we only have the concrits and the requests?)
3/26/2008 . Edited 3/26/2008 #12
cathrl
I'm loathe to suggest a word limit - and I really didn't intend to get at anyone in particular. The review left for me was only a couple of lines - but there was useful concrit in there, I was perfectly happy (especially as the person reviewing mine had already reviewed the story I thought was most appropriate). But I do think this should be a give and take thread. Not the briefest comment you can possibly get away with to fulfil the letter of the rules followed by a request for detailed concrit on your own work. I think this thread is a great idea and I'd hate to see it degenerate into just a self-plug thread. But then I'm a big fan of fanlib's critique forum - there the fic to be critiqued each week is picked by the moderator, and she simply doesn't choose fics by people who haven't put time and effort into commenting on other people's work in previous weeks. Here, answering the thread puts you next in the list. The other thing is that if you only leave a really brief comment for the story above you, you're much less likely to have someone leave a detailed review on yours. For all they know, you think saying you liked something [i]is[/i] a detailed review and you're going to be distressed if you get concrit.
3/26/2008 #13
Chiwizard
All this aside, I don't think I can review that story twice. It's only a one-shot...but for the sake of fairness I've already PMed Neuro about my trying to give concrit via PM. I [i]still[/i] feel that giving useless concrit is worse than giving no concrit at all, by the way. The last thing I'd want is a lecture on my fiction from someone who has no idea what they're talking about, so why should I wish that for anyone else?
3/26/2008 #14
SpiderWolve
[q]...Being skipped over doesn't make me feel very happy, you know. -_-[/q] Skipped? Who skipped you? It certainly wasn't me! .... <.< O.O >.>....... Anyway, I did review the first chapter of your Grand Clockwork Night. And since we need to write novels for these reviews in here, I took the liberty to do so :P ;) here it is here and in your story: [q]Wow. That was quite good. Honestly I have a hard time giving constructive critism (..oxy moron?) to stories that I enjoy reading, but I will give it my best shot here. I think the main sticking point that I would liked to have seen here was more description of whats going on. It reads like a blur, which is ok if thats what your shooting for, but these paragraphs seems much to short and could use some fleshing out. Here are some thoughts I have: "...and it kept blowing his golden bangs into his eyes." What color are his eyes? "...The rest of his wild black-and-red hair was managing to behave itself for once.." Interesting, the little bit of description you have -does- do a good job of making your character stand out.. Other then that, its a good read. But like I said, descriptive detail could really make a fun read out of this, especially the beginning of this chapter---which you may have done on purpose to give the whole thing a frantic feel, which I can understand but it feels like its lacking for some reason. The end of the chapter is good however; the kid being a mute is a great twist. :)[/q]
3/26/2008 #15
Rhea Silverkeys
I'm in a concritting mood atm (and I also want to procrastinate from work) so...I reviewed everyone who's asked for a concrit here. I usually review while I read stories, so you'll get the details as I read the chapter and then my overall view. Probably not the best method, but mehh? [b]SpiderWolve[/b], you didn't specify which story you wanted concritted so I went for the one that doesn't have a review yet. And since we only post reviews of the person above, here's the one for SpiderWolve: [q]I have no idea what game you're writing for, so I'm just commenting on writing style. Hmm. The battle scene in the beginning was a bit too wordy for me. You've got all the details, and you've got down the terminology, but - is that really needed? For me, a battle scene should be punchy, quick, easy to read. I found yours a bit difficult to get through. It got easier nearer the end, but in the beginning I was very tempted to just skim. "...Cronian muttered and looked down at the read [should be "red"] flashing button that read ‘COMMS’ and pushed it to get rid of the plinging noise that was infuriating his ears. Once pushed, a flood of voices came at him, making his quite [should be "quiet" cockpit seem very crowded all of the sudden." There are quite a few spelling mistakes of this sort in the story. The bit where he avoids the two asteroids coming at him was alright, though. "What was left of the Microw spun silently as a glowing chunk of twisted metal that resembled nothing of its previous shape where momentarily the light glowing off the wreck seemed to shimmer and distort as something obscure and unseen quickly passed by." This sentence was a little runny, I think if you split it, it would sound a lot better. Cronian realising at the end that he's got no chance and sort of being noble about it all was sad in a good way. I thought it was a nice ending. Okay, overall, you've got a good idea going here. The battle scene mechanics, itself, I think are good, and I can imagine the battle unfolding in space quite well. Your chapter's got potential, but I found the writing a bit wordy and in some places the sentences would have been better split into two.[/q] Um okay. I know I'm long. That's just me >.< - - - - - - - - - - I don't quite know which story/chapter I'd like concritted. Any one of [i]'Unborn'[/i], [i]'Silver Eggs'[/i] or [i]'Consequences of U-No-Poo'[/i] would do, they're my short ones. Or [i]Chapter 2: Memorial[/i], or [i]Chapter 6: Wizard's Chess and Dealing[/i] from [i]'Broken Pieces'[/i]. [b]I can't pick[/b]. Thanks in advance ^_^
3/26/2008 . Edited 3/26/2008 #16
Basil to Blithe

Rhea Silverkeys, I went and had a look at both chapters five and six of Broken Pieces. (I'll admit, the first was a case of mistaking the number, but I'm glad I read it anyhow! It made me read the rest of the story too. ) Apologies if my rambling isn't what you were looking for, I'm more a reader than a writer.

Chapter Five:

I hate to spout mindless praise, but I must say that the investigative scene is very well done. It's seldom that I see Auror's portrayed as honest professionals. Draco does strike me as being remarkably calm throughout, mind. I think that you may have lost some of the emotion in the scene in the midst of the dialogue. The interjections were a nice touch, I'll have to experiment with that in the future. The Weasely scene has a nice, depressed tone to it. It honestly felt mopey, just as it should. The description of Molly's behavior and grief is realistic, and really does strike a cord. You've captured her reaction very well. That said, your writing did start to look a bit more awkward than usual toward the end. Specifically when you went into the "pain" bit. I did notice a couple spelling/word errors in that section. "Her eyes were rimmed red and there were circles around it, too" -Around them? "Oh, and she sends her regard." -Regards, I think. That last just for the sake of completion, I tend to miss my own spelling mistakes until I've read them six times. Cheers for the story, I'm enjoying it.

Chapter Six:

Good god, this one I can't really say much about. You managed it very, very well, though Harry might be accused of being a little overdramatic about his feelings. Considering that we all do grieve differently, it's hardly fair to call that a flaw.

What did stand out as a bit off was that the chapter, while very touching, does feel as if it rambles. I think that comes from the transition from the ward to the Burrow. Something there threw me off, as if there's a missing scene break. That feeling could be argued to be a good thing as well, as it does lend a further sense of hopelessness to it all.

It seems that I'm getting that vibe from the way Harry spaces out at that point and only pays attention further down. Good or bad, I can't say.

This chapter really was a surprise. (And a pleasant one!)

-oOo-

I've also got a chapter I'd like read in particular. It's the first chapter past the prologue, I tried for something vaguely disturbing, but fun. Editing stillin progress, four chapters later. If someone can catch what I missed, I'd be grateful.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4080694/2/Yesterdays_News

3/26/2008 #17
loverly zee

Basil to Blithe, I reviewed the chapter you posted!

"I actually don't know the story behind Naruto, but I enjoyed reading this chapter. I really like how you vary the lengths of your paragraphs, short and long ones--it really catches my attention more. And I really like how you use your words. You seem to have a natural ability with the flow of language to make sure that the story is fluid and that the characters are believable. Um... If I have to give a suggestion, I would say to just work on dialogue a bit? Just because it seems like every character has the same voice. OH and the ending--great! Makes me want to read more :)"

I hope that's okay.

Could someone please review any chapter in my story for Final Fantasy VII "Gambling with a Turk" I just posted a new chapter too. I have people who put my story as favorites and alerts, but for reason they don't review ever and it makes me sad.

Also, WARNING: some sexual content

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3732487/1/Gambling_with_a_Turk

3/27/2008 #18
Lady Tragic

Basil: A bit OT, but I find something that helps with that is reading the story aloud. I do funny voices for each character, but that's optional. It sounds a bit ridiculous, but it seems to help.

Ok, Hikari, I went and reviewed the first chapter of "Gambling with a Turk", since I figured that would confuse me the least.

"Ok, first, great attention getter. That first paragraph really snagged me and pulled me in though. It keeps up a nice fast pace after that too, which is hard when it's mostly introspection. You give a nice sketch of her character, as well- reckless, impulsive, fearless, stubborn, and arrogant just this side of cocky. I don't think she's a Sue, from the chapter I just read... after all, it's how she sees herself, so perhaps inclined to be a bit padded, but one can still see realistic personality flaws that could be exploited.

Now the concrit. First, the pacing seemed a bit rushed in places, but then again the character *is* giving a crash-course summary of her whole childhood. The distant, distracted and depressed mother could have been explored more... maybe even a reason for why Jalen is so wayward. And second, the biggie since it's obviously major part of the plot... I never played FF, so I'm not sure if Jalen Zhu is an OC or if you're dealing with what canon gave you, but I really can't help but think a dare is a silly reason to join the military.

"Hey T, I dare you to join the Marines!"

"..."

It just seems... too spur of the moment when she's making what she should realize is a big decision. Even if she totally underestimates how hard it will be, shouldn't she feel at least a little trepidation? From the sound of things she's never left home before and she's going to do something that is, by my understanding, far more thoroughly rebellious than anything she's ever tried before now.

I hope this helps."

I'd appreciate a review of "Lost" any one chapter or as a whole... I'm aware that Part IV/Chapter 5 (Interlude screwed up my numbering) is a weak spot, I just haven't had time to fix the end. So, um, if you do one chapter, please don't do that one.

EDIT: W** is up with the new posting format? I had to edit this far too many times for formatting!

3/27/2008 . Edited 3/27/2008 #19
loverly zee

"I think that that was absolutely beautiful! You say that you've never written about grief before in your A/N, but I honestly couldn't tell. I was so sad by the end of the chapter. I really like how you eluded even possibly some of the most insignificant things back to Ginny, about her scent, or her smile--it just really added to the reminiscent sadness. Um... I wish I could give you constructive criticism, maybe a little show not tell? But there's really barely any of that too! Love it!"

Whoa! I thought it was too long, but then I pasted it here and realized that it really isn't! Hey, how do you get that little gray bar to appear to the left of things? Well, anyway, AMAZING, Rhea_Silverkeys--as usual :)

I guess I would ask someone to review either Chapter 4 which is kind of a mind trip, Chapter 5, or Chapter 7 which I should wave a big red warning flag over for possibly offensive material of the story Gambling with a Turk.

3/27/2008 #20
Rhea Silverkeys

Hey, everyone, just a reminder to stick to posting reviews only for the person above you. That way things don't get mixed up and people don't accidentally get missed. You can of course go and review any of the stories already mentioned here, but don't post the reviews here or give a shout-out unless you've reviewed the person above you, as well.

Hey, how do you get that little gray bar to appear to the left of things?

Under 'styles', click on 'quote'.

And a bit OT, but thank you to those who gave me concrit on my stories ^_^

And, to get right back on it, Lady Tragic's fic is up next for concrit.

I'd appreciate a review of "Lost" any one chapter or as a whole... I'm aware that Part IV/Chapter 5 (Interlude screwed up my numbering) is a weak spot, I just haven't had time to fix the end. So, um, if you do one chapter, please don't do that one.

W** is up with the new posting format? I had to edit this far too many times for formatting!

I've taken to using the HTML source editor. I can make sure all the paragraphing and quotes and other annoying things are properly put in then.

3/28/2008 . Edited 3/28/2008 #21
Lady Saru

I'd love reviews for Almost Lover or Legacy. Legacy can be done as a whole or the third chapter. Thank you.

Also, for loverly zee:

"Wow. That is a mind trip, as you so aptly refered to it. I think it's elegant and beautiful, and I really get a feel for the emotions in the story. It's so believeable, and I feel like I'm there. Excellent work. You did the fandom more than justice. In all, just love."

here you are, for chapter 4. :)

3/31/2008 . Edited 3/31/2008 #22
Lady Tragic
Breaking the rules just to clarify... Hikari-now-loverly did review my story, she just posted the long review here.
3/31/2008 #23
J.P. Martin

I haven't got a concrit for my Joker related Batman story, set in an AU where The Joker as we know him never became the Joker at all, and the story explores the life of the man who was under the Red Hood in "The Killing Joke", while examining the presence of the Joker's absence for Bruce Wayne, as he lacks an adversary beyond faceless thugs to drive him on. It probably could use some constructive criticism in order for me to know if I've got Commissioner Gordon right, or if the description is decent. Here's the link:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4165123/1/World_Without_A_Joker

3/31/2008 #24
Monotonehell

Yes it's all about you isn't it JP Martin? LOL! ;)

READ the rules again. You need to give a lot to get a lot in here. You must review the last person to leave a reviews requested story, and make it a good con crit. Then once you've paid the piper, you may request that the next bunny reviews one of yours. ;)

Would you like to play your turn and review Lady Saru's story? (You can edit your post with the "mod" button)

3/31/2008 . Edited 3/31/2008 #25
J.P. Martin

Ok, so I've given "Almost Lover" a review. Sorry I butted in, I just didn't see there was an unfinished review game there. (I sometimes forget my manners in RL as well)

I did my best to give a solid review, the closest I could come to a comparison would be a Leonard Cohen song with a younger soul.

4/1/2008 #26
Monotonehell

Perhaps it would be an idea if everyone who's posted goes back and edits their post to make it clear what's going on? Use bold to highlight the two steps taken. That is;

My review for (insert name here): (copy review here)

Next person please review my story: (insert name, chapter here)

Would that help the new players?

Sorry to butt in with what is essentially a spam post, but now I'm confused. Whose turn is it now? O_o

It's only spam if it's off topic.

I think someone needs to volunteer to be next, review J.P. Martin's World_Without_A_Joker , post a copy of the review here and request that one of their stories be reviewed.

*nods nods*

4/1/2008 #27
Oracle Five

Oh, in that case - I already did that. ~_~

My review for 'World without a Joker', Chapter 2:

Well...this is an interesting twist, but I'm wondering why Gordan and Bruce are hanging out like old friends. I mean...without the chemical dip, Jenkins - despite the circumstances with his family - is almost like any other criminal that Batman might have busted up. I do like how you've worked on the backstory, but I have to wonder what the big effect of this change is supposed to be. Then again, I'm not overly familiar with Batman... Ah, well - I'll definitely keep an eye on this story. Hopefully I'll be pleasantly surprised with an interesting twist! ~_~

...

So, can the next person please review my story? Umm...I don't really care which one.

4/1/2008 #28
Lady Saru

I reviewed "Smoked Glass".

My review for Oracle Five: Um...the review's not showing up right now, but it's there. I talked about how I loved the way you set up the story, how it was lovely and tragic, and other stuff.

Next person please review my story: Legacy, chapter 3.

4/1/2008 . Edited 4/1/2008 #29
shaeldryn

Oh, I like the idea of this.

My review for: Legacy

First of all, I need to point out that I am NOT familiar with the fandom, as I don't ever watch/read/write anything manga or anime related. Then why am I reviewing?

Easy. This story caught my attention after reading the first paragraphs of the first chapter. It is all about emotion, about the horrible feelings left within someone who has just lost a loved one. I think it is well written, the first person narrator giving an interesting inside. I could relate easily to the emotions described, and felt really sorry for the affected characters. Okay, I guess the fic is constructed to evoke exactly those feelings, yet it still worked fine.

I think it could have been a bit longer, though, doing justice to the terrible fate. However, I really like this fic. By the way, I'm happy to see there are still people out there paying attention to their spelling, punctuation and grammar. Well done!

Next person please review: Shattered

4/2/2008 . Edited 4/2/2008 #30
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