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The name's Sherlock Holmes

*highfives everyone on the forum*

You guys have helped me out a lot so far.. and I have one quick question.

This is also a research thread..

I, one.. Have never had a "real" kiss before. So don't know how to deal with it.

Two, don't know how to get over my awkwardness from writing romance scenes.

so.. What do I do?

10/11/2012 #1
The name's Sherlock Holmes

Wow, thanks. ._.

10/11/2012 #2
DH7

I'm big on romances, mostly anime though. I watch a chick-flick, and I don't read many romance novels.

I don't think there's a such thing as a romance that is realistic, so I wouldn't worry too much about inexperience. Lips are soft, and wet. That pretty much sums it up, I don't think a whole lot of detail needs to be written specifically on the feel of a tongue in one's mouth.

I think it's much more effective to write about a character's emotions. Your not writing about your own idea man or woman, or even that of the audience, this is the object of the character's desire, and what's important is how that character feels.

You may not have experience in this matter, but I'm sure you've been embarrassed or nervous. Unless your character is James Bond, kissing the character he/she likes is going to make their heart race and their mind go blank, or something similar.

Not everyone reacts the same way either, sex isn't something that's really universal. For the most part, we all have similar bio-chemistry, but there's a pretty wide divergence in what a lot of people consider sexy, and how they react to it.

Actually, that's why I don't read a lot of romance fiction. Too many authors write text-p***, and it's more ridiculous than it is enticing. I was getting into a romance/action novel my sister let me borrow, but I wanted to skip ten pages because the author didn't want to shut up about sex and get on with the story.

I tell people that I don't find romance fiction exciting, but the truth of it is, I do every once in a while. I just don't find a massive barrage of detail on fluids and manhoods, and womanhoods to be very sexy at all. Leave the details out, and write about the few things that turned the on the character's "switch". Maybe the dress a woman is wearing makes an otherwise tomboyish female actually look feminine, or a woman is seeing her boyfriend in a suit for the first time.

I'm more interested in how the characters come to like one another. I don't like love at first sight, or even characters that are immediately attracted to each other. I find it much more interesting when they have traits that repel each other at first, but they slowly develop feelings as they get to know one another.

As for anxiety all-together, I suppose writing in less detail should help with this as well as keeping your writing from coming off as cheesy.

I used to worry about people I know reading sex scenes that I had written. I don't worry so much any more, I warn them before hand and might even go as far as telling them why the scene is in there. If they don't like it, they need to grow up. I don't need to feel embarrassed for depicting things in real life.

10/11/2012 #3
Lorendiac

I'm not clear on just what you're asking for.

You say you're not an experienced kisser -- and that you find romance an awkward subject to write about.

But what, exactly, are you hoping some of us can do for you?

Providing flowery descriptions of passionate kisses is not one of my strengths, either, so I can't help you there (although I have written a few cute little "romantic humor" fanfics which some of my readers seemed to enjoy, so maybe I know something about "writing romance" in general).

Just what sort of "romantic situation" are you wanting to write about in one of your stories? What are you hoping some of us can help you with? (I take it for granted that you don't expect us to write the most romantic parts of your story for you! :) )

Frankly, the first thing that occurred to me was that maybe you should read a few professionally published "romance novels" to see how other authors have managed to describe "passionate first kisses and their effects on a woman's mind and body" (or other types of "romantic moments") in ways which presumably satisfied their readers' urges for such things.

10/11/2012 #4
The name's Sherlock Holmes
I'm big on romances, mostly anime though. I watch a chick-flick, and I don't read many romance novels.

I hate romances from the bottom of my heart. They're so cliche and I hate "Love-at-first-sight". Did you know I once cried when the couple got together in a movie.

I don't think there's a such thing as a romance that is realistic, so I wouldn't worry too much about inexperience. Lips are soft, and wet. That pretty much sums it up, I don't think a whole lot of detail needs to be written specifically on the feel of a tongue in one's mouth.

ew, I'm not writing into the details. Mainly about how he emotionally feels during.

I think it's much more effective to write about a character's emotions. Your not writing about your own idea man or woman, or even that of the audience, this is the object of the character's desire, and what's important is how that character feels.

I believe I show how he feels several times, and basically every chapter has the word "desire"

You may not have experience in this matter, but I'm sure you've been embarrassed or nervous. Unless your character is James Bond, kissing the character he/she likes is going to make their heart race and their mind go blank, or something similar.

Nervous, also yeah. Heart racing, blanking of the mind, all that.

Not everyone reacts the same way either, sex isn't something that's really universal. For the most part, we all have similar bio-chemistry, but there's a pretty wide divergence in what a lot of people consider sexy, and how they react to it.

Yeah, I guess.

Actually, that's why I don't read a lot of romance fiction. Too many authors write text-p***, and it's more ridiculous than it is enticing. I was getting into a romance/action novel my sister let me borrow, but I wanted to skip ten pages because the author didn't want to shut up about sex and get on with the story.

Going to skip out on the gross details. Like w** man? Why would you get detailed? xD.

Actually, that's why I don't read a lot of romance fiction. Too many authors write text-p***, and it's more ridiculous than it is enticing. I was getting into a romance/action novel my sister let me borrow, but I wanted to skip ten pages because the author didn't want to shut up about sex and get on with the story.

I'm probably not going to go into details (who am I kidding. I'm NOT.)

I'm more interested in how the characters come to like one another. I don't like love at first sight, or even characters that are immediately attracted to each other. I find it much more interesting when they have traits that repel each other at first, but they slowly develop feelings as they get to know one another.

I'm not even sure how my character feels about her yet. He sort of likes her because he's been alone for a while, and is a bit lonely. Yet he cringed at the idea of getting a new partner. (He's in the FBI..)

As for anxiety all-together, I suppose writing in less detail should help with this as well as keeping your writing from coming off as cheesy.

There won't be detail. Though I will explain the emotion that goes through them.

I used to worry about people I know reading sex scenes that I had written. I don't worry so much any more, I warn them before hand and might even go as far as telling them why the scene is in there. If they don't like it, they need to grow up. I don't need to feel embarrassed for depicting things in real life.

That's the thing. My heart raced to the idea of sending the story to my beta. (It had a kiss scene.)

10/11/2012 #5
TikiPrincess

My suggestion is to read. If you're unsure how to show the "romance" stuff, then read fiction that does. Even badly written fanfic can teach you what not to do. You may not like it, but try to consider it as "research" instead of "reading for the fun of it."

I'm totally with you on the blushing about writing thing. I've been putting off writing a chapter because it's got a sex scene and I get nervous and giggly. But I get over it and write. There's really nothing else you can do except maybe not write it at all. You could say they went into the bedroom and allude to them having intimate relations. Otherwise, just grit your teeth and get through it.

10/11/2012 #6
thelastpen
I hate romances from the bottom of my heart. They're so cliche and I hate "Love-at-first-sight". Did you know I once cried when the couple got together in a movie.

If you don't like romance... why are you writing it? I'm sorry if that sounds offensive, but it's really making me scratch my head. Usually people who don't enjoy a particular genre avoid writing in it. I mean, it's not required for a story to have a romantic element or to be a romance.

10/11/2012 #7
The name's Sherlock Holmes
If you don't like romance... why are you writing it?

I'm not, they start falling in love, but it's not a romance itself.

And, to prove to all those idiots that just because you write romance, doesn't mean you NEED to make it cliche.

10/11/2012 #8
NaruTard 1.5

I don't know if this helps but I've never kissed a girl before and I honestly don't intend to, believe it or not I find the whole idea just kind of awkward. Being 25 and male (most of my guy characters are virgin and around the same age as me XD) I just go with my gutt.

It's not really the action that makes it romantic, it's the moment. At least as far as I've seen in movies, if you want better tips on kissing I don't know what to say but keep it in character for the person in the situation. As an author it's your duty to avoid letting personal feelings about things get in the way of writing. It's one reason I try to put a little bit (and by this I mean like, one random quirk of mine) of myself into my characters.

Hell, as much as I hate sadism, and perverts (even if I kinda am a tiny one XD) I write them the way I see them from various mediums. Animes are particularly good because you can see more emotion with the characters than a live action film or a movie.

10/11/2012 #9
thelastpen
And, to prove to all those idiots that just because you write romance, doesn't mean you NEED to make it cliche.

That's a really bad reason to write something. No romance doesn't have to be the cliched love at first sight trope or anything, but that doesn't mean the people who enjoy reading/writing it are idiots. Just listen to your character and write their story without shoving in a plot element just because you want to prove someone wrong.

10/11/2012 #10
The name's Sherlock Holmes

I've already sent the chapter to my beta. *crosses fingers*

10/11/2012 #11
Corinne Tate

Wow, getting here late to the discussion. I'm a big believer that you should write what you know. That doesn't always work, and sometimes we just have to guess, or use someone else's experience. But when it comes to kissing, and other intimate details, don't be afraid to write with your own inexperienced voice. It will lend credibility to that first kiss, if your characters worry about noses bumping, chapped lips, onion breath from lunch, or too much or too little spit. Where do you put your hands during the kiss? How long should it last? Who pulls away first? Is there a height difference to make one tip their head back or down? How does he/she smell up close? Don't be afraid to write the awkwardness.

Remembering my first kiss, it was kinda gross. He kissed open mouthed, and I had absolutely no idea about that. My only "experience" was watching kissing on TV, and I didn't watch shows with french kissing, (as it was called in the day.) Being faced with wet and tongue, when I expected a closed-mouth smooch was yucky for my 13 year-old self. It was several years before kissing actually became enjoyable to me. You have to be really into the person, or your mind can take unpleasant detours through spit-swapping, cootie territory.

Someone else said it first, that the details of the actual kiss are not as important as the feelings and the anticipation leading up to the kiss. The good thing is, once you write this kiss scene, you shouldn't need to elaborate on future kisses. The first one matters in a romance, but not so much for the rest, unless it's motivated by the story, like a welcome home, or "he loves me!" kiss.

10/11/2012 #12
The name's Sherlock Holmes

Pen, I'm not trying to prove someone wrong. It was a joke.

I already sent it to my beta reader, but I have something to edit once it is sent back.

10/11/2012 #13
cathrl

Well, what are you worried about, wondering about when you get to the point of thinking "oh heck, we're going to kiss and I've never done this before"?

Chances are your character will be worried about it too.

Early romance IS awkward. How you feel right now about writing it? It's how you feel when it happens. It isn't all flowers and soft music and perfect happiness. Your story will be way more realistic if you acknowledge that. Imagine your ideal partner comes up to you, right now, and asks you out. Now forget your ideal version of what happens. He just did it, NOW. What are you going to say and do?

(If you want a real life example, what I did was to blurt out "I don't want to have sex with you." That was 24 years ago and we've now been married for 19 of them :) )

10/11/2012 #14
The name's Sherlock Holmes

No, actually, the hard part is because they both HAVE kissed before.

It's not all lovey-dovey where they both share their first kisses together.

It's because I feel uncomfortable even writing about it. ;l

10/11/2012 #15
The name's Sherlock Holmes

I'm going to [sppooillerr] make the co-star character leave once the case is over, but it's hard because both of them will get upset and that's horrible.

10/11/2012 #16
Phalanx

Romance is often awkward until two parties get to know each other well. And even then... it still gets awkward from time to time. I don't read romance much, but I find the ones written acknowledging this facet of awkwardness tend to be much more palatable then the typical fairytale ones.

BTW, I was just looking over the Review Game thread... if you were too busy to review the story you were supposed to after leaving a placeholder, how come you have time to double-post on your own thread? (which BTW is against the forum rules. Please do go and read them properly.)

People are busy. Goodness knows we all are, but that really is no excuse to shirk on a commitment you made, especially since you got multiple long and detailed reviews from Sedaiv as a result of your placeholder but left Rana Temporia high and dry without even a 50 word review after you went back and 'cancelled' your 'placeholder'.

Seriously, that's really not cool. Going back to the same thread and rubbing salt into the wound by saying "Life is worth more than your story, you know" is really really low.

10/11/2012 #17
The name's Sherlock Holmes

No, It's not.

I'm moving soon, and so having a few minutes of time isn't really something you should insult me for.

If it was a short story, I could read it, but if we're moving, what am I supposed to do? Throw it off and just pretend I don't have something else to do?

Forget it. No thanks.

10/11/2012 #18
thelastpen
Well, if you can't be bothered to hold up to a commitment you made (and you could have looked at the story before making a promise to read and review so it being too long is not an excuse), I see no reason why anyone should continue to help you in any way.
10/11/2012 #19
cathrl
what am I supposed to do?

You're supposed to read the start and write a review based on that. A few minutes of time would have been plenty.

Stop making excuses. You've been rude and lazy and you know it full well. We ALL have something else to do. You're not special and unique in that way.

Well, you won't be getting any more reviews based on posts on WA. Goodbye.

10/12/2012 #20
9090

It really annoyes me in stories how some girl is some huge s*** and she screws this unpopular fuy so she can make fun of him later on.......

10/13/2012 #21
DH7

Yeah, that's A horribly in-effective way to make fun of someone.

She could make fun of his size or whatever all she wants, but when it's all said and done, dude still hit that.

10/13/2012 #22
9090

Stop being mean to him DICKS!

10/13/2012 #23
9090

I know right and people on other avengers forums decide to make a topic specificlly for f*** take it to the pms please!

10/13/2012 #24
9090

I don't even read romance anymore causs that kind of s***....

10/13/2012 #25
9090

I have a headache from screaming at people all day....

10/13/2012 #26
DH7

whoah, double-post a-hoy. That little gear-looking-thing at the bottom of your screen gives you the ability to edit posts, I just found that out yesterday. lol.

I haven't completely stopped reading romances, but I don't read them often. They seem to more frequently contain infidelity. When the main hero/heroine starts shagging someone else, and the author actually expects the audience to root for the main pairing, I have to wonder what that author has been smoking.

10/13/2012 #27
9090

Pot,weed,or cocane? ya...... well they do crap like that in kids books to..... I have actually done a few sex scenes in books i have made at home but there not that graphic i do the same thing on my forums as i do books speaking of forums wanna join mine it's an avengers one http://www.fanfiction.net/forum/Avengers-when-theres-no-where-else-to-hide/117478/

10/13/2012 . Edited 10/13/2012 #28
LMRaven

I love romances and have been reading them since I think I was about eleven. That is pretty much the key to writing any subject. Reading. Research. You should read some first, get the feel of them, of the different types (angst, humor, suspense, etc) and the nuances that make them work and the ones that don't.

10/13/2012 #29
ckorkows

Not going to lie. When you feel uncomfortable writing about something or even thinking about it then it is going to be hard to write.

The best thing you can do is to read what other people write and see how they do it. There are a lot of things that can be cliche about romance. The number one thing that is hard to do is write a lovely romance scene and make it not cliche. There are dozens of romance fics in any genre so pic a few and see how other people tackle it. You can learn a lot about what you prefer in terms of romance and what drives you up a bloody wall and back down again.

For example. I love it when the characters take their time. I could literally hunt down the authors that have their characters kissing one moment then professing their love of one another the next. Romance isn't about 'love at first sight' or 'instant gratification'. It's about building a believable relationship both on the sexual and non-sexual fronts.

The key to romance is to build tension. If they just kiss then there is nothing to it. If they profess their love of one another from the rooftops then it definitely lacks tension. You want the characters to wonder about one another, to have some sort of obstacle in the way of their romance. Do they work together but are sexually attracted? It's unprofessional and that is the internal debate the characters need to overcome in order to get to the actual act of 'kissing'.

Here are some ways to build tension and get your characters to the point of kissing. They may not work for you and are only a few examples but they might get your mind heading in the right direction.

1) They can be mutually attracted and let loose once - this does not mean they fall into bed and make babies and live happily ever after. They may regret their decision. A character can feel confused, betrayed, embarrassed, or any number of emotions after consummating their attraction on whim. They may avoid the object of their affection for fear that it was just a one night thing or because they think that they are better off as friends. You want the character to have an internal battle about whether or not to give in again.

2) They are bitter opposites. Fighting eventually leads to a tenuous friendship which leads to them realizing that their opposite is attractive. They may come to a mutual agreement to 'try things out' or may just give in to their attraction. The key tension maker here is that they are opposites. They shouldn't go together, they drive one another up the wall, and yet they work well together and compliment one another.

3) They work together on a case or something. They are attracted but professionally it is inappropriate and could ruin whatever they're working on if it doesn't work out. The tension here is that they want one another - they may not know the other one is attracted to them but they definitely want each other - but they let their job come first. Usually it is a big failure or a great success in the project that will be the catalyst for their 'kissing'. They may revert back to my #1 example after this happens or begin a steady yet tenuous relationship.

Of course you can't write a successful romance moment or story if it makes you uncomfortable. You may have to wait until you mature a little (I have no idea how old you are but I know 30 year olds who aren't as sexually mature as some 14 year olds) in order to be actually comfortable writing them. If it makes you uncomfortable to read them then you are never going to be able to reproduce it in your own fic and you might as well nix that part of your story. It has to be believable to your readers and they will be able to tell if you didn't enjoy writing that part.

Hope this helps!

10/13/2012 #30
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