Can someone please review all my stories and give me constructive criticism, or suggestions please. Just look up Author Black Raven 2539 I would really appreciate it, thank you.3/1/2012 #331
can someone review my story? It was posted a couple posts back. I'm intersted to see what members think of my work so far. I'm trying really hard on this one.3/1/2012 #332
Title:The Third Chance.
Summary: "Twice dead. Twice returned. Bakura causes an uproar at his Judgement Ceremony, and the deities decide that the best punishment for the spirit is to send him back; back to imprisonment, back to the Sennen Ring and back to Ryou. But this time, he's not the only malevolent Ancient Egyptian spirit on the loose." - So far I'm only two chapters (approx. 6,000 words) in, and I haven't started on the main plot (the part with the other evil spirit) yet. The first two/three chapters are just backstory that's important for later on.
Help: So I've got 5 people who've favourited the story and 2 who've put it on alerts, but only 2 reviews. Please can someone give me some concrit, and tell me what I need to do get more reviews? Thanks:)3/4/2012 . Edited 3/4/2012 #333
Title: Life on Gallifrey
Fandom: Doctor Who
Summary: A series of short drabbles/oneshots focusing on the lives of Theta Sigma, Koschei, and Ushas on Gallifrey.
Help: Since I started a few days ago I have gotten reviews saying people really like it, however I need some constructive criticism. I personally feel unsure of my writing quality. If anyone can give me some constructive criticism, I would very much appreciate it. Thank-you! :)3/5/2012 #334
Fandom: How to Train your Dragon
Summary: A pilot encounters a distrustful and grudgeful dragon, with no means of getting away from it. While he is away from his base, a conspiracy is being organized against him.
Help: I'm not sure if my writing is readable, as it has large amount of detail in it. Another problem is a writer's block; how do I write in a way where the dragon and the pilot gets along eventually without making it cheesy? It won't appear in a few chapters from now.3/6/2012 . Edited 3/13/2012 #335
Summary: Fifty fics, each a different theme. [I add a one-sentence summary of the latest chapter here whenever I update.]
Help: I haven't gotten a single review for this story, and I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong that I don't realize.3/9/2012 #336
Title: 221 B Baker Street
Fandom: Hannah Montana
Summary: Story as normal; set during/after series 2; Being Teen Pop Star Hannah Montana Miley has to face a new challenge. First its Mikayla to have a gig in front of the most feared critic and passionate singer Julie Livingstone. When it´s her turn she eventually convinces Julie to be good. And still there´s Sophie wondering why people care about a strangers opinion.
Help: For once, its the most important thing: Grammar and using the correct words (what is a problem because I´m not using the average vocabulary all the time and few things are metaphorical). English still is a bit of a jungle for me.
A cumbersome habit of mine is to set a quote in front of chapters which have got to do directly or indirectly with it. Sometimes it is even meant a bit cynically.
I got a beta and she´ll help me improving and correcting. (Start in April; I hope it will become better then.)
My chapters are quite/very short. They won´t get any longer though. It´s a bit like the series: Sequences will make up the whole story in the end.3/11/2012 #337
They contain a few adult situations, though not many.
I have two stories in my Spyro trilogy
They are erodic fictions with a brilliant story line, or so my few reviewers say.
If anybody could have a look at my first story "Cynder and Spyro and the Cloaked Troll" You may find that funny, intriguing and/or arousing
I really need criticism fo my first story :).
please respond soon, deviantMIND1
P.S you should leave an anonomouse review.3/12/2012 #338
Title: Super Psycho Love
Summary: It's only fitting that a psychopath be drawn to one even more psychotic than himself, but what exactly does love mean to two murderers who don't even know how to be human?
Help: I'm just in search of some constructive criticism and whatever else you have to offer. :)
Just a warning, the second chapter contains non-descriptive r***. Let me know what you think!3/13/2012 #339
Title genjutsu master sasuke Fandom: naruto Romance/adventure/friendship.... Okay, a bit of everything. Link: they don't work on ff. Summary: instead of the actual team eight, only hinata and kurenai stayed on the team. Enter the loudmouth blond girly-girl and the power hungry emo broody-boy take things by the reins! Pairings: itachixkurenai and itachixkonan and sasuhina and sasuino (last two the votes decide) Please tell me if I'm doing well!3/14/2012 #340
Title: Fanfiction Love Story
Summary:Two very successful Fanfiction authors live their daily lives and meet one another with no idea who each other is. With all the events that seem to pop up,will they experience the same fate as the characters they ship? AU Advanceshipping Aamayl
Help: Originality,Emotion, Description etc. any constructive criticism like flow and plot consistency.3/14/2012 #341
I'll try this too :D
Title:Until We All Fall Down
Summary: Moving to Domino City is April Standig's idea of starting anew. Life's good, except for bad teachers, stupid classmates, and her obnoxious neighbor. But what's out of sight isn't out of mind, and this time, she's got far more to lose. DukexOC
Help:Definitely characterization and plot. Also progression of story (whether or not it's logical...) and...little things like that :D I basically want to know what's working and what's not.3/15/2012 #343
|Mekali Amayas Kaga
Title: The Second Emerald Master
Fandom: Sonic The Hedgehog
Rating: Between K+ and T for Mild Language
Summary: This site explains the life story of 18-year-old college freshman, Andrew Jackson, who recently discovered seven mysterious emeralds in the basement of their house. Along with his sister and the last of his family, Lindsay Jackson, using the emeralds, they inadvertently cause a time/space portal to open right in front of them, causing Andrew to be sucked into it. Once on the other side, he soon discovers that he's landed on a new mysterious planet. With no way of knowing where he is, Andrew searches all over the world in order to find these emeralds and go back home. Only problem is, after each of the emeralds has been found, a mysterious event occurs causing the energy produced from inside the emeralds to do something most unexpected, to Andrew, that is. When that happens, he's again warped through time and space again to another unfamiliar place. However, this new, unfamiliar place harbors a secret that's going to change his life forever...
Help: So far, I've managed to gain 7 reviews and only 1 favorite. I feel like as I'm writing it that I'm going off on a bit of a tangent; I'm writing about one thing and I soon forget about the thing before it and it throws me off. Maybe I'm doing something wrong, maybe I'm not; I'm not sure about it. On another note, I'd like to ask some people for criticism. I just recently began updating again and I haven't seen much activity as of late. Have I done good so far? Is there any improvements I need to make? I'd appreciate any feedback you might have for me.3/16/2012 #344
Ratings: between K+ to T (I may change it later on to M because there is some violence in it.)
Summery: 14-year old Juniper is starting her pokemon journey. However trouble starts from day one because her parents won't let her travel due to her backgrounds and the dangers in the unknown world. After all, in this pokemon world, they don't take kindly to strangers , especially from people who claim to come from another dimension. As she travels around the Hoenn region, she encounter trouble that have a strange connection to her own past and the reason for leaving their dimension. Will she figure out this strange connection or is there darker reason behind the whole event......
Help: So far I got 1 favorite, but i haven't gotten any reviews. I'm wondering if it is because the plot is not interesting or not. Sometimes I have trouble with making my story flow well. My writing seems dull a bit with little actions.In addition, i think my description are decent, but i want to know if i can improve it somehow ,so it would make the story sound choppy.If would be nice if some reviewed my story and tell me what weak point in the story I have to improve on. I would appreciate it.3/16/2012 #345
Title: The Story of Eva Flint
Fandom: Harry Potter
Summary: When Eva Flint and her best friend Scorpius Malfoy attend their first year of Hogwarts, they don't realise that Albus Potter and his friends could be so much trouble...
Help: Well, it's my first Fanfic and I don't normally get other people to review my stories so just general critisizm about everything would be really helpful!3/17/2012 #346
Title:MapleStory: Warrior Brothers
Fandom:MapleStory(It isnt that well known, but then again, there are a lot of recent fanfics).
Rating:T for some language, violence and other stuff.
Summary:Follow the adventures of three warriors as they explore the world of Maple Story. Unfortunately, their quest always goes horribly wrong on every turn.
Help:I want to continue writing but im unsure wether it will be a waste of time, because I have no feedback and very few views. It's my first fic and I'm wondering if i should have chosen a small fandom like that.3/17/2012 #347
I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this, but if someone reviews a story, do I get an email telling me? (I only just got an account, as you can tell ^-^)3/17/2012 #348
Yes, you do. Also if they add it to their favourites list (or you to their favourite authors list).3/17/2012 #349
Great, thanks!3/17/2012 #350
TITLE: I will find my light
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts and Naruto crossover
SUMMARY: Sora knows nothing about his parents and is the blue eyed flash of one of the five great nations. His re-occurring dreams of a woman with long red hair is the only dream he's had all his life. At the age of 16,will fate re-unite Sora with his past?
HELP:I don't know if people actually like my story. I'm on like chapter fifteen, and I only have 4 reviews, 3 of them are by the same person and 1 is by someone else. I can see that people read it, and I know that it has some typing errors in it, but I'm so confused. Do people really have nothing to say, or or is that bad or what? It really irks me that I can't make my story better, when people don't like tell me what they want more of and such. I just want to know why people don't review, since I know it's getting read. Constructive criticism would be much appreciated.3/17/2012 #351
Okay, The way my story in formatted is kind of complicated. I have three stories, but they are actually only one; I split them into "parts" because the transitions between each part is huge, and it would be weird putting them all into one "story."
Title: The Last of the Agents
Pt. I: The Legacy
Pt. II: Second Wind
Pt. III: The Menace
Rating: All are rated T
Help: I know it's not the best story around, since it probably still requires a bit of cleaning up, but it honestly isn't that bad (from the few reviews I got and what I have reread). However, compared to some other stories around my section, I can't be seem to get any reviews or even readers; I don't have an "R & R plz" in the summaries or at the end of chapters asking for reviews (I only asked for reviews once at the end of a chapter and in my opinion, it seemed to be a nice enough request). Also, don't really have any idea how well the story is working without reviews; constructive crticism is fine, but I don't want to blindly write/post chapters with each succedding becoming worse than the previous, and I need the feedback. It would be great to know what/where I could change in my story that turns away reviews. Thanks.3/17/2012 #352
Title: The bridge between Universes
Fandom: Avatar/Avatar: last airbender
Rating: T- censured language- not to violent, only a little blood here and there.
Summary: Peace has been a hard tithing to achieve on Pandora, but finally seven years after the RDA left, things starts to slow down, that's until a certain clueless boy with blue arrow tattoos shoes up. First ever Avatar/Avatar X-over.
Help: I don't get proper feedback. All I get is people say that they like/love my story, that is nice and all but I want some proper constructive criticism. I constantly get the feeling that I rush the dialog and that I don't explain things so well.3/18/2012 #353
Sorry about not posting the links previously. Here they are. Hope these work3/18/2012 #355
|The Devil's Warrior
Title: Harry Potter And The Return Of The Dark Lord.
Rating: M. Swearing and it also will show alcohol abuse, mature content which is mainly dealing with r*** and other things that might be disturbing and upsetting for some readers.
Summary: It is set a year after the Battle Of Hogwarts, and a major plot is brewing that an ancient potion will resurrect a foe that will once again change history
Help: I am looking for constructive criticism, I am also looking for readers who will be to explain and show where I am going wrong with grammar and anything else.
Link: http://m.fanfiction.net/s/7906789/1/3/19/2012 #356
|The Devil's Warrior
This was going to be on the first post, but I acccidentally pressed enter.
I don't want to sound as if I'm begging, but I would pleased with a comfortable reviews that were constructive and be able to help me improve the standard of writing,3/19/2012 . Edited 3/19/2012 #357
Hello everyone. Just joined the site, and I have a story that I've been working on for about a year now. While I have almost the entire thing down in my head, I've only got a few pages on paper... hard drive, whatever. This is a story based on the MMORPG Everquest and Everquest 2. For those unfamiliar, it's the game whose formula was used as the basis for WoW, but I'm getting really far off topic.
I started this story at a guide event in game a year ago. I had a lot of fun coming up with a backstory for my character, so I kinda kept with it. If I ever do manage to finish it, it'll be about 20 times longer than it is now (ho boy....) but I'd love to get some feedback now on my writing style so I can tweak it for the rest of the story.
Title:Forever in the Journey
Rating:T (With plans on a few rather dark moments in much later chapters, so eventually M)
Summary:The backstory of a Wood Elf (Feir'Dal) Ranger. So far, just a few short chapters about the early years, life with siblings etc.
Help:Just an impression of the writing style. Is the language colorful enough, is the story easy to envision (I know I also made the assumption writing it that any readers would be familiar with the game. If not, WoW is still a close approximation) As for the story itself, I promise it'll pick up later. Right now is just the intro.
My greatest fear in writing so far is that I'd post my story, and it would go completely unnoticed amid the plethora of tales already on the internet. Just knowing someone read it would be a huge morale boost ;) Thank you.3/19/2012 . Edited 3/19/2012 #358
Hello, again! I finally uploaded one of my stories!
It's called Mystery Science Theater: The Revenge of Bad Movies3/21/2012 #359
(Oops, I think that my first reply didn't do so well. Let me try this again. Ahem!)
Here's the link:
It's under Misc. TV Shows.
It's rated T for mild adult humor.
In the not-too-distant future, Mike Nelson and his robot pals are adjusting to a more domestic life. However, familiar faces start showing up, some seeking to ruin Mike and his future, and others wishing to help.
I want to know how well everything holds up. Is the pacing just right, or does it drag? Are the original characters enjoyable, or are they boring? And, the most important thing is...do I surprise the fans of the original TV show with a twist?3/21/2012 #360
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