Here's how it goes- one person will post the beginning of a story, then others will continue it. For example12/30/2007 #1
Person# 1: Once upon a time,
Person#2: There was a lot of people who loved-
Person#3: Earwax. In fact, they loved it so much, they collected it in-
Not quite so random, or short, but you know. So here's a go:
It was dark, and our protagonist, Lizzie, was walking through the forest. It was eerie,and sounds of the dangerous creatures echoed in the night. The rain failed to fall directly on to her head,but instead,small drops of water dipped off the leaves of the oak and maple trees above, and onto Lizzie's head. She looked up at the leaves above with a frown as she vainly attempted to cover her cookies. You see, Lizzie was on the way to grandmother's house, with a batch of cookies her mother had made earlier in the day, a bottle of whiskey,(by her grandmother's request,) and a loaf of bread, which now lay safely in her pack. She hummed to her self- a small distraction from her constant paranoia at every crunch and rustle of dead leaves and branches that was not caused by her own foot. Popular ... she thought... you're gonna be popular! Wicked was not seeming to help... Cabaret maybe? Money makes the world go around... she hummed under her breath... no... ah, Rent... that should help....
It started with her simply humming Another Day- but now, her voice *hem,hem* graced the entire woods with "What you own.' "YOU'RE LIVIN' IN AMERICA, AT THE END OF THE MILLENIEM!!! YOU'RE WHAT YOU OWN!!!!!" She *hemhem* sung at the top of her lungs. "SO I OWN NOT A NOTION- I ESCAPE, AND APE CONTENT! I DON'T OWN EMOTION, I-"
A rustle came from the trees. And another, and another, when suddenly, out of the dark abyss jumped a-
And, continue from there. (It doesn't have to be quite as long, but, I wanted to get y'all started.)
WILD BOAR! A wild boar jumped out at Lizzie and started to snort at her madly. Lizzie raised an eyebrow at the creature, and barely surpressed laughter. "What is the-" she started.12/31/2007 . Edited 12/31/2007 #2
But, the boar cut her off, "I don't like RENT! SHUT UP! I DON'T LIKE IT BECAUSE I'M HOMOPHOBIC! ROAR!!!"
-quitely reached for the gun in her pocket. "Oh, you don't like Rent- you say? Well, let me sing you a little song.12/31/2007 #3
"Live in my house!" Lizzie sang as she skipped along. "I'll be your shelter! Just pay me back- with one thousand kisses!! Be my l-"
'LAALALALA!" The boar said, sticking his fingers in his ears. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
Lizzie ignored the fact that most pigs, or boars for that matter, can't technically stick their fingers in their ears- especially since they don't have fingers. "I'll COVER YOU!!!! OPEN YOUR DOOR- I"LL BE YOUR SHELTER! JUST PAY ME BACK WITH ONE THOUSAND KISSES!! BE MY L-"
"LALALALA!!!" The boar and Lizzie were in a sort of competition- who was going to give up first?
A HOUR LATER...
"I can't stand it!" Finally screamed-
-Lizzie, overwrought with disgust at the Boar's intonation. His ill-toned "LA's" clashed terribly with her singing of RENT music, that it angered her deeply. So deep in her psyche was she shaken that her hands were white-knuckled around the handle of the gun that she was randomly carrying.1/2/2008 #4
Lizzie did not consider herself to be a very violent person, however she could be provoked to violence with the slightest insult slung to overplayed broadway music. She quickly trained the barrel on the boar. "You know, I hear eating pork is good for the vocal cords!"
Without warning the boar whipped out his-
-ninja suit! Faster that lightning, he put it on- and with that he said, "Hiyaaaaha!!"1/2/2008 #5
Lizzie was prepared, however. She reached in her pack, and pulled out a ninja suit of her own, that had RENT written all over it in white block letters. She pulled it on, faster than lightning, and too said, "Hiyyyaaaaah!!"
Then, they both started to-
|Tiggy the Hopeless Romantic
dance! Lizzie quickly lured the boar(or is it a Boar?) into a Tango... Maureen style. She giggled manicly about luring her advisary into Rent-dom. All was well until-1/3/2008 #6
-Lizzie tripped over a random banana peel. The boar laughed as she got up and dusted the dirt off her Ninja suit. "That was funny, huh?! How bout this then-? THE TANGO MAUREEN! IT'S A DARK DIZZY MERRY-GO-ROUND!!! AS SHE KEEPS YOU DANGLING-!"1/3/2008 #7
"NOOO!!!" Screamed the boar.
"YOUR HEART SHE IS MANGLING!!!"
"Why should I?!"
"Because... because I...." the boar's eyes started to cloud.
"BECAUSE THE REAL REASON I HATE RENT IS MY EX-GIRLFRIEND'S NAME WAS-
MARK!" The boar roared.1/3/2008 #8
"Wow, that's a pretty strange name for a girl." Lizzie finally replied after what seemed like hours of awkward silence.
"Shut up! She got teased about it all the time! It was awful!" The boar wailed, curling up into the fetal position. "I just don't want to talk about it. Just...just leave me alone to wallow in angst, will you?"
Lizzie shrugged and continued onward, leaving the emo boar to its own devices before it could get overly-ranty. Along the way, she took in the scenery and whistled "Seasons of Love" to herself, hoping it would ward away any other foes. However, just as she thought she was on the verge of reaching civilization, she found herself unceremoniously hoisted into the air as...
-Adam Pascal suddenly appeared out of nowhere and picked her up! "AHHH!!!" She screamed before realizing who it was. But, of course, being the fangirl she is, she screamed then too.1/6/2008 #9
"ADAM?!!?!! What are you doing here?!?!?!"
"Well, Lizzie, I'll tell you. I am your-"
-"Fairygod mother!" Suddenly, a wand and ballerina suit popped upon Adam, and he took a FG stance.2/15/2008 #10
"What?" Lizzie said. A strange mix of emotions filled her soul. She was happy, because Adam was connected to her in some way, but she was sad, because- BAD ASSES LIKE ADAM PASCAL DO NOT WEAR TUTUS. "What did you come to help me with?"
(KEEP ON GOING. =D)
"Well, actually," Adam replied, "we're having a real problem with homophobic boars around here, and we need YOUR help to get rid of them. Oh, and there's a very good reason why I'm wearing this tutu. You see -2/16/2008 #11
"- I like the nice breeze around my privates." Adam said with a smile. "Now, to the homophobic boar problem!!"2/16/2008 #12
"Well, they aren't bothering us. Why should we bother them?" Lizzie asked, still slightly disturbed that Adam was wearing a tutu.
|Ginger Glinda the Tangerine
"-after I started wearing this tutu," Adam smiled, "I realised that us... uh, differently-minded people always get a bad rap from narrow minded freaks, especially narrow minded boar-shaped freaks. So I, along with my lovely RENT costars, have decided to wage war on all narrow-minded boars, so naturally it's my duty to stamp out all the homophobic boars in these dark and possibly haunted woods."2/16/2008 #13
He struck another pose and looked expectantly at Lizzie, waiting for her to reply, but she was still attempting to work out what the heck he was talking about.
"Oh, well, never mind then," Adam pouted sulkily.
He started to turn and walk away, but at that moment-
POP! Out came an army of homophobic boars! Adam's eyes grew wide, and he screamed very girly-like.2/18/2008 #14
"We hear you don't like us. Well, now, you die." The head boar said. They charged toward Adam.
Now, Lizzie, although she had been disappointed by Adam many a time in the span of time she had known him, knew this: Adam was not going to be killed by an army of angry boars, and that's the truth of it. She loved RENT and Adam, (not-crazy Adam) too much to let him die this way. So she-
|Ginger Glinda the Tangerine
- pulled out a can of whipped cream that had been cleverly concealed in her sweater!2/18/2008 #15
"Take that, you stupid, homophobic boars!" she screamed wildly while whirling the can of cream around her head in a storm of alliteration. "Let's see if we can't empty this can of cream, huh? How much is in here, anyway? Enough for YOU? And YOU? And YOU???"
So saying, she attacked the boars and they fled the scene.
"Wow," Adam gasped, still in a fairly girly fashion. "That was-
" - very strange... but remarkably effective. Hey, can I borrow that cream?"2/18/2008 #16
Lizzie was confused.
"Because I want to put it - "
"in my pants."2/18/2008 #17
"WHAT?" Lizzie said with a 50% amount of surprise, 30% amount of shock, and 101% of total disgust.
"You heard me. I have to put it in my pants." Adam said with amazing coolness.
"Good God, why?!"
"Well, it all started with this amazingly awesome story by GingerGlinda-"
|Ginger Glinda the Tangerine
At this point, Ginger Glinda, who had been stalking Adam from behind a shrubbery for the past five paragraphs, leapt out and squeed like an obsessive fangirl at the fact that Adam's lips had formed her name.2/19/2008 #18
Once she had finished dying, Adam continued-
toward Ginger, but Daphne Rubin-Vega spontaneously generated and hypnotized him with her drvvy blue pants causing an outbreak of-10/12/2009 . Edited 10/12/2009 #19
|A Lonely Planet
Suddenly the Spanish Inquisition arrived--2/14/2011 #21
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