Dante's Inferno
So you want to laugh at the N00BI3S and StuSuethors. This is the place. We never sleep. Come hang out and talk about anything, but you are on your own if you see foul language. Formerly the L.F.E.
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Artemis Mitera

Sometimes they can't be helped, especially if you're not aware. I tend to be a hypocrite, but only cause I don't think much of the past or future when I get revved up. I mostly act on what I'm feeling in the present, lol.

Like I've said I hate it when people are loud and obnoxious.

I'm hyper, I get that way.

Would that be a good example? Lol.

7/16/2008 #61
Venomous Woe

Sometimes they can't be helped, especially if you're not aware. I tend to be a hypocrite, but only cause I don't think much of the past or future when I get revved up. I mostly act on what I'm feeling in the present, lol.

That's the same with me too. I'm most vulnerable to hypocrisy when I'm really REALLY angry.

Would that be a good example? Lol.

Yes, it would. :)

7/16/2008 #62
Artemis Mitera

Good. But really, I dont pay mind to hypocrisy. No one notices and I work on it. No big deal.

:P

7/16/2008 #63
xXx-TripleDeX-Treme

Hey, uh guys can I help with this i need some thing to do and its fun helping people.

7/16/2008 #64
Artemis Mitera

If you can give adequate advice, then go ahead.

7/16/2008 #65
xXx-TripleDeX-Treme

Okay thanks! I have a few friends and we used call our selves the love doctors, and we had our own fake names too. we gave out love advice and sometimes we gave advice about other stuff too. So if you neeed some help come to Botha LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE.

7/16/2008 . Edited 7/16/2008 #66
PikaYoshiGirl

WOW, I think I should just stay here to help other peoples.

7/16/2008 #67
Artemis Mitera

In that case:

instead of paying one therapist for an hour, come here for free and get three to five for nothin!!

and for unlimited time too XD

7/16/2008 #68
Wildcard999

I...uh... just found out my Grandmother died last night. I bottle up emotions, so I never grieved the last two, but this time I am trying (somewhat successfully) to feel what I am feeling. The problem is, I've obviously never done this before, so I have no idea how to grieve. What should I do? Should I feel everything I can, let it out when I feel it, or should I try to block some of it so it doesn't overwhelm me or impede my functioning at work and on the road?

You should know that, though I have lost most of my family (one way or another), I have never grieved any of them. So this is my first time.

7/17/2008 #69
Artemis Mitera

Well Dark, the first thing to do is to let the fact of the death settle in. Realize that she won't come back. Only then shall the tears fall. Whatver you like to do, cry only in bed, mourn any chance you get, will depend on what personality you have. I found this online since it's more apt to make sense.

Grief is normal

When someone is bereaved, they usually experience an intense feeling of sorrow called grief. People grieve in order to accept a deep loss and carry on with their life. Experts believe that if you don't grieve at the time of death, or shortly after, the grief may stay bottled up inside you. This can lead to emotional problems, and even physical illness later on.

Working through your grief can be a painful process, but it's often necessary to ensure your future emotional and physical wellbeing.

The stages of grief

There is no single way to grieve. Everyone is different and each person grieves in his or her own way. However, some stages of grief are commonly experienced by people when they are bereaved. There is no set timescale for reaching these stages, but it can help to know what the stages are and that intense emotions and swift changes in mood are normal.

The stages of grief aren't distinct, and there is usually some overlap between them.

Feeling emotionally numb is often the first reaction to a loss. This may last for a few hours, days or longer. In some ways, this numbness can help you get through the practical arrangements and family pressures that surround the funeral, but if this phase goes on for too long it can become a problem.

Numbness may be replaced by a deep yearning for the person who has died. For example, every time the phone rings you might expect it to be the person who has died, or you may think you see him or her on the bus or in crowds.

You may feel agitated or angry, and find it difficult to concentrate, relax or sleep. You may also feel guilty, dwelling on arguments you had with that person or on emotions and words you wished you had expressed.

This period of strong emotion usually gives way to bouts of intense sadness, silence and withdrawal from family and friends. During this time, you may be prone to sudden outbursts of tears, set off by reminders and memories of the dead person.

Over time, the pain, sadness and depression start to lessen. You begin to see your life in a more positive light again. Although it's important to acknowledge there may always be a feeling of loss, you learn to live with it.

The final phase of grieving is to let go of the person who has died and carry on with your life, though it may not be exactly the same as it was before. Your sleeping patterns and energy levels return to normal

7/17/2008 #70
Artemis Mitera

bump

7/17/2008 #71
PikaYoshiGirl

Dark, I know you are grieving one way or another, because you came on here and asked advice about it. That proves that you feel sad.

When my great Aunt died, I was crying for weeks in school, and I wasn't even that close to her. I just was so emotional, and I still am(as you've probably seen in the previous posts). Actually, at first, I didn't feel TOO upset that she died. But as the months went on, I started to feel worse, thinking, "I wonder who's next to go..." And I would cry often in school. I had to get 'therapy' from my friends at the time. It's actually good that you're not too emotional; you really don't want to break down like I once did.

Also, realize you're not the only one who secretly grieves. It turns out a few of my own friends were losing family members at that time, too. Yup, usually around 6th grade is when kids start to experience death, however small.

7/17/2008 #72
Rusty-Knives

Penname: Dorkie, or whatever you want to call me.

Type of issue: Relationship problem?

Details: Well, I'm dating this guy, and I'm afraid that I'm not good enough for him because when I look at pictures of his exes, I think about how pretty they are, (there's one in particular) and then I look at myself in the mirror, and think 'how could someone like him want to be with someone like me?'. I don't know, but it bothers me so much. So yeah. I just needed to vent.

Here's a tip for you: A guy won't date someone he sees as 'not good enough'. So the fact that he's dating you should be enough to make you feel secure like that. Also, it sounds like you have some self esteem issues.

7/17/2008 #73
Rusty-Knives

Sorry about not posting guys. I have a habit of just disappearing from forums. If there's anything I could help you with, don't be afraid to ask.

The issue of why I hate myself? I don't know really, I just have this morbid compulsion to dislike myself, it's not that I'm not comfortable being me, it's more like... I see myself as a different person on the outside to who I am on the inside. And the inside dislikes the outside, etc. Retarded? I think so.

7/17/2008 #74
Rusty-Knives

I don't know if you'll want my advice but I'm going to say that you should just let the feelings come as they will, and embrace them. Don't try and bottle them up. Can't be good for you.

7/17/2008 #75
dorkie-lil-shortie

Yeah I do have some self esteem issues, but I'm trying to fix that.

And thanks!

7/17/2008 #76
Red Panda Bear

Listen to your avatar. XD

7/17/2008 #77
Venomous Woe

The issue of why I hate myself? I don't know really, I just have this morbid compulsion to dislike myself, it's not that I'm not comfortable being me, it's more like... I see myself as a different person on the outside to who I am on the inside. And the inside dislikes the outside, etc. Retarded? I think so.

I see what you're saying. I too hate myself, and my mind just refuses to believe anything good it hears about me. It's an obsessive compulsion, and I understand what that feels like.

I definitely see the whole inside/outside concept. On the outside, I'm allegedly a good, honest, lovable kid that people love. And on the inside, I'm a festering, rotten pille of crap. The inside thinks the person on the outside is a lie and a fake, and it is resolute and unyielding in it's belief. Mine is not a unique case, and it's certainly not retarded. Of course, that probably won't stop you and me from hating ourselves, but you might as well be comfortable with the knowledge that such a thing is not at all strange.

Oh, and dorkie-lil-shortie, join the club. My self esteem is absolutely terrible. XP

7/17/2008 #78
xXx-TripleDeX-Treme

Rusty...I kinda feel the same way about my self. I got this from Oprah (My mom watches it ALOT) If you dont accept who you are other people wont and then bad things will start to happen.

7/17/2008 . Edited 7/17/2008 #79
Red Panda Bear

Rusty, no point in low self esteem. My motto "You either like me or you don't."

7/17/2008 #80
PikaYoshiGirl

Panda: And if they DON'T like you, hey, they're still thinking about you.

7/17/2008 #81
Rusty-Knives

Ah, but that motto is stupid. If I refuse to care what other people think of me, what happens when I do something bad? That shit won't sink in, because I wouldn't have a conscience if it weren't for what other people think.

TL;DR I pretend not to care but I do.

7/17/2008 #82
Venomous Woe

If you dont accept who you are other people wont and then bad things will start to happen.

That may be true, but simply saying that may not help.

In recent years, psychologists have identified a number of mood disorders that hamper normal functioning. In these states, being able to accept yourself would be a GODSEND. Frankly, injecting positive thoughts into the minds of any of these people is like performing an organ transplant. Even though the original mindset is making the body sick, the body will NOT accept the mindset, at least not without something to act as cyclosporin.

There are a number of therapists available to help with these symptoms. If you find it a terrible endeavor to believe in yourself, then you should seriously consider having yourself looked at. It's not an insult; it's genuine concern. Frankly, fighting one of those diseases on your own is a herculean effort, and NO ONE should have to be put through that...

7/17/2008 #83
Rusty-Knives

Ah, here's the deal though. Psychologists and Counsellers have a tendency to make their patients almightily uncomfortable.

I've been a few times and not accomplished anything, I'm too reserved to talk about my problems to a stranger who's been paid to listen to me.

7/17/2008 #84
Trippy Hippie

Oh, and dorkie-lil-shortie, join the club. My self esteem is absolutely terrible. XP

I share your burden.

7/17/2008 #85
xXx-TripleDeX-Treme

Hey I didn't say it the lady on Oprah did.....and yeah....i doesn't really help...

7/17/2008 #86
Rusty-Knives

Domo Arigato, Mr Robotto.

7/17/2008 #87
xXx-TripleDeX-Treme

DOMO domo...DOMO domo.

7/17/2008 . Edited 7/17/2008 #88
Rusty-Knives

If suicide became a viable option, what do you think the best way would be to do it? I'm thinking drowning, relatively mess-free and it'll leave your body in a relatively normal state for your family to find you in, so it's not quite horrific as say, slitting your throat.

7/17/2008 #89
xXx-TripleDeX-Treme

idk...mabey starving yourself to death...but thats hard...same is drowning because you feel like yuo HAVE to come up and you cant stop from doing it (it happend to me during a swimming test when i had to get this thing underwater in one breath and I REALLY wanted it) but seriously killing yourself is the worst solution.

7/17/2008 #90
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