A Breeze Blows through Nerima
A forum for discussion of the stories by MZephyr, and the manga Ranma One Half in general.
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Mizuryunokamioh

Shifted this topic from the random story ideas thred.

Any thoughts on the idea are welcome including telling me not to write it.

10/11/2010 . Edited 10/11/2010 #1
Mizuryunokamioh

Too pick up where I left off in the other thred O'Donoghue

I take it you have some angle on how they will return in the fic to bury the hatchet in Ranma.

Yes essentually as Ranma goes through each ToD (Tour of Duty) and the shore leave (for lack of a better term) that would follow would have Ranma encountering the rest of the NWC and dealing with the issues his leaving and joining the Terran Confederate Space Forces have created. The first character would be Ryoga, whom Ranma would meet after a mission. The two of them fight and get in trouble with their respective commanders, Ranma would then realize that he has something else to focus on (the war) and tries to convince Ryoga that he (Ryoga) should focus on that as well. This would lead to an eventual winner take all type fight with the winner being recognised as the better of the two. Afterwards thier would be the beginnings of a begrudging friendship. Though their rivalry wouldn't end, just take on a new form (who has the most kills, awards etc.) As for the other characters, similer events would occur as well. Though some would be more drawn out than others. Nodoka for example would take a number of years to amend her relationship with Ranma.

I'd think carefully about how to make Ranma's reaction to the 7' cat men not just neko ken or as cliche as other series

Thats one thing I am not sure on. Would the sight of a 7" cat like creature trigger the Neko Ken or would he just be plain frightened of them. Though this would only apply once Ranma actually saw a Kilrathi in person. As a pilot he wouldn't freak out as he couldn't really see them while they are inside of thier strike craft. I have given brief thought to Ranma having a Kilrathi female deciding he would be a perfect mate. Or Ranma recieving a Kilrathi concubine from a foe who manages to catch him (ranma) and holds him in high enough esteme not to imprision him.

Another issue is just how much technology (and explanation of said technology) should be included. Do I need to explain how a neutron cannon or a jump drive works? Do I need to explain why a torpedo can pierce through phase shields? or do I need do just say that it can.

Amazons being a subset of the Chinese fleets sent into the war can be cool, a ship of stylised Amazon warriors is just cool, and funny when they land at a station interacting with rival ships and challenging the best males looking for mates.

I had given some thought to this. Though since there is no actual nations on earth anymore (as seperate active nation states) I don't know how well that would fit into the story. The Confederation is a interplanetary government made up of hundreds of different worlds and its military is unified (there are Japanese pilots and ship captians but no Japanese ships). It may work if I use the idea of having Ranma 1/2 take place on a planet other than earth and has the Amazons as a formation within a PDF (Planetary Defense Force). It would be entertaining for an admiral to come in seeing the Musk and Amazons squaring of to see who gets to fight off the Kilrathi invasion this time. Or have pilots go on leave only to find themselves getting married due to a misunderstanding.

Kasumi - Cliche-ly (new word) made into a nurse or medical role, often at Tofu's side. Perhaps Kasumi as a full doctor would be a nice enough twist. Or in a command rank. Making her a strategic ranking commander with her near oblivious demeanour getting worse as she faces the horror of the war she orders deaths on both sides in might be dark but interesting.

I agree having Kasumi as some kind of medic is overdone these days. My idea was to have her as an actual combat pilot just for a change.

I like the idea of Konatsu and Tsubasa on a space ship in female dress uniform. heh Tusbasa may pioneer boarding technologies of bursting out of missile like boarding craft fired into enemy ships.

Now this made me laugh, Tsubasa disguised as a missle or torpedo. For Konatsu since I have (for now at least) had Ukyo remaining in Nerima I thought that Konatsu would probibly stay behind with her. Tsubasa though your idea had me thinking maybe have him dress up like a Kilrathi as a spy then have him captured and have a female pilot manage to rescue him only to have him start declearing his love for her and disguise himself as verious mechanisims on her ship (flight simulator, a seat in a cockpit that kind of thing). Could just imagine a crew chief freaking out when he/she goes to pull a missle arming tag only to have the missle jump up and start running about.

The Kuno's I also had pegged as pilots since they would both probibly see being a marine as peseant work and getting a capital ship command would take too long for them (some 3 to 4 years for a corvette command). So as pilots they would be officers which suits them.

Nabiki I had as working at a weapons manufactor company as a PA to one of the executives while still living at home with Soun (to save on rent and other costs). While Soun would become the head of the town council and eventually pushed for a senate post. Genma would go to the marines (as an NCO at first) and Akane and Shampoo as pilots (Akane to out do Ranma, Shampoo to try and track Ranma down).

As for the Amazons Cologne would stay at the Nekohaten with Shampoo's Father and Mousse (who would attack Ranma on his first return to Nerima blaiming him for shampoo enlisting) would eventually join the marines after getting corrective eye surgery to persue shampoo.

The other minor characters I hadn't realy thought of them save for Hiroshi, Daisuke, Yuki and Sayuri who would all join the fleet. I like your Idea about the golden pair (In wing commander pilots fly in pairs called wings, their are two wings to a flight and four flights to a squadron, though most carriers are understaffed and use an 8 man squadron in place of the 16 man squadron).

To keep some of the traits of the manga, I thought of giving Ranma the callsign Harem. That would create some drama as he tries to explain to the NWC how he got the name and why. Ranma would also gain a following of interested males and females who are after him. Particularly the pilots and strike craft crews he would serve with. I have also givin thought to having some other speices interested in him as well. I am keeping his curse and have given thought to having most people believing that he is an alien because of it (their is an alien species in wing commander called double helix that arn't actually described physically in the series).

I think that will do for one post.

10/11/2010 #2
Taechunsa

I don't know if you are a Kim Possible fan at all, but this is really starting to remind me of a Kim Possible/Star Trek insertion fic by MrDrP called "Kim Possible: The Next Generation".

It wasn´t so much a fusion as it was a continuation of an alternate universe where the Kim Possible series took place in the Star Trek universe. The back story of KP was assumed to be basically the same, with minor modifications mentioned when needed. But otherwise served as a continuation of the original series.

If you are going to do this, I would seriously suggest that you shift the canon to fit the Wing Commander universe as closely as possible. Mention any important differences, only when necessary, and only when relavent. Also, I would suggest that you do in fact intertwine the Ranma cast with the existing cast of Wing Commander. Put the Ranma cast on the Tiger's Claw. This also helps satisfy the Wing Commander fans that might read this story.

I also have to ask. If you are going to have to create a few original characters to interact with Ranma on a regular basis then why are you so opposed to including at least one or two of the main cast in place of these original characters? What is gained by completely removing Ranma from this contact with a pre-existing friend/enemy?

I can tell you what is lost. Readers who will start this story and see Ranma interacting all of the time with these characters that they have no idea who they are or why they should care about them. You are just making your job harder by refusing to give the readers something familiar to latch onto as you introduce your other new characters, and give them reasons to care. While fanfiction is great for providing a ready audience, it is also limiting in that if people wanted to read nearly completely original fiction, they would read original fiction.

Personally, I am still in favor of throwing Ranma and Akane into the same flight wing and letting the dynamic build from there. It worked great for 2ptTakrill with "Hogwart's 1/2", which is another excellent crossover that you should read for ideas on how to do a crossover well.

Have Ranma and Akane enlist to get away from the engagement. Give them that farewell, and then pull the twist and place them in the same flight. Now you get a great dynamic of what are they to each other? Do they tell the others that they are or were engaged? All of that great romance angst and angle to counter the grim spectre of war.

Or if you are dead set against a Ranma/Akane constant interaction and don´t want to do Ryoga pull something different and put Mousse or Kuno and let the whole enemy to friend or at least brother-in-arms dynamic develop.

Then for the rest of the cast do just what you talked about. Introduce them at random intervals for catching up.

These are just my suggestions, and take them as such. In the end you are the one who has to like this story enough to pay the blood, sweat, and tears to write it and edit it.

10/11/2010 #3
O'Donoghue

It sounds like you have enough ideas Mizuryunokamioh, as long as you have the ending to work towards, I wish you luck with it. As for what ideas I suggested in the other thread, I am cynical enough to beleive that every idea I have had has been done before. In truth crossover fanfiction is all stolen ideas so what I wrote is not mine to steal. Actually I think the ff . net front pages say if it typed on the site they own the rights so go nots with what appeals.

Some of your reply points do tend to be questions between fanon and canon. After all, i would have taken the evidence at the end of the manga shows Ranma and Ryoga are in a friendship. You might need to play up Ryoga feeling Akane was abandoned to sell the rivalry of the pair in the future.

I don't know how much a Kilrathi as a person other than flashpacks of Freddy Prince jnr going through a green ship with lion faced aliens with bad dialog subtitles. But then Freddy Prince reminds me of I know what you did last summer with that girl who is like a pole with unnaturally gravity defying b*** (She is in Ghost whispering show now). Where was she when Baywatch was filimg running on the beach.

Back on Kilrathi V Neko-Ken, the canon evidence seems to show Ranma can all but control himself around a huge horde of cats as when he tried to walk off with Gos in Akane's dress, but if they chase he runs and if he can't run, that is where the break can happen, even if he makes them unable to escape like tying Shampoo to him. That said, in Fanon he might change with a photo of a kitten. So you have some leeway. Heh I just realised I need to revise a huge element of chapter 20 of ML or make Ranma's fear of tigers being a legit trigger where the Manga is pretty clear it isn't. I wonder how he feels about smaller great cats in between. Maybe a leopard is just a big house cat... Considering there is value in the neko-ken fight on a kilrathi ship perhaps have a house cat like pet or even Kiltrahi toddler/child form that can trigger the neko-ken. I'd personally still have him creeped out. Perhaps play it into 'evil cat men should die' early on till he meets one and has to face he is killing more sentients.

The no nations earth is still tripping me up sorry. I understand why it is in the Wing Commander mythology but Wingcommander was aimed at the piloting of the craft and the rest tacted on. Sacrificing Earth as we know it while trying to have post wedding Ranma is just tripping to me. In this regard I'd be far more inclind to see the Tendo Space station and start from the start of the manga with Genma bringing the pilot son to marry the daughter of his old friend. You regain all those initial conflicts you get to see that the reader will be tripping on by changing the nature of the universe and claiming the same story happened identically.

To give the gist of Stargate actor David Hewlett quoting one of his writer/directors, 'Technobable is gold'. It is a tech setting you must describe with technobable. However you only need to describe it once, best from a character perspective rather than Tolkien's entire chapter on Elven weaving and materials. And finally the technobable should assist the plot. It can never replace the plot. Scifi more than any other genre has great potential to reinvent plots by contrasting of new situations, but it still needs the plot. I beleive Michael Bay has a card in his pocket giving him legal exception to this. Jackie Chan has a similar one for stunts overriding plots.

I am concerned that you need to review some concepts. Ideas like it is unreasonable to expect all these friends would end up in the same unit and ship and even fleet is a perfectly reasonable position. To randomly have Tsubasa jumping out of ordinence is fine. But together it is like a McDonalds Happy Meal washed down with a $1000 glass of Chardonay. They are concepts that need to be cooked together to make a meal. If you look you will find a nice middle ground and if you are good or nearly insane you will find new ideas that make more than anyone saw before. Also Fanon point, Tsubasa never disguised himself as anyone. He was himself, himself as a girl, or an inanimate object. Having him disguise as a kilrathi would be off the fanon.

You seem locked onto Nabiki as the weapons exectutive, I will assume you have some kind of plot there but if you don't, I wouldn't lock in anyone till you need them in the plot, especially for the climax.

The callsign of Harem... not that it is bad, but it does make me smell a bit of an 'idol' fic coming where the lead character is so prefered by the author he can do no wrong and sleeps with as much of the cast as the author can make him. Hopefully this is my cynicism and my meds seeing things in the shadows. Anyway, Good luck :D

10/11/2010 . Edited 10/11/2010 #4
Taechunsa

The callsign of Harem... not that it is bad, but it does make me smell a bit of an 'idol' fic coming where the lead character is so prefered by the author he can do no wrong and sleeps with as much of the cast as the author can make him.

I got the same feeling after he stated that he didn't want any of the rest of the cast with him throughout the majority of the story and that he would have a lot of suitors chasing him. But I could be wrong as well.

10/12/2010 #5
Mizuryunokamioh

The callsign of Harem... not that it is bad, but it does make me smell a bit of an 'idol' fic coming where the lead character is so prefered by the author he can do no wrongNo Ranma will not be perfect, he will mess up and make mistakes. After all it wouldn't be Ranma without him p*** of a superior or two and earning the ire of some of his fellow pilots.

and sleeps with as much of the cast as the author can make him.

I had given some thought to this, though it is only a maybe. It would be done as a running gag (Ranma gets in from a mission looking forward to some sleep/food only to be dragged of by some female into her bunk). At this point though it is only a thought.

For the nekoken, I am angling to down play it. Ranma would be afraid of the Kilrathi but not paralysed with fear over them. By the end of the fic I was aiming to have the fear subside into a general nerviousness when he see's one.

It wasn´t so much a fusion as it was a continuation of an alternate universe where the Kim Possible series took place in the Star Trek universe. The back story of KP was assumed to be basically the same, with minor modifications mentioned when needed. But otherwise served as a continuation of the original series.

This is, at this point, the way I intend to do it. Though the setting is between having the Ranma backstory occur either on earth or on another planet. I think the other planet is the better of the too options as it would avoid having to come up with a reason why the Nerima ward in 2650 looks the same as 1990. It would also allow a bigger role for the amazons, musk etc...

Personally, I am still in favor of throwing Ranma and Akane into the same flight wing and letting the dynamic build from there.

The only issue with doing this is that Akane would spend alot of time in the brig. Military discipline will not allow her to bash Ranma with a large blunt object everytime he does something wrong (Yes I know Akane doesn't hit Ranma as much in the Manga as she does in some fanfics, but she still does wallop him a lot). This would also be the same for the rest of the NWC as well. I could of course come up with a reason for Akane not to clobber Ranma no matter what he says or does, however this would be for me at least a detraction from her character. Having her meet up with Ranma on a mission after not seeing him for a few months/years and then giving him a massive right hook and stomping off seems to be more within her character. Of course this is just how I see it.

Presently though I think the two of your are right and at least one other NWC member should be with Ranma, my mind is hovering over two. Kasumi and Shampoo. Shampoo from my recollecting of the Manga is the least prone to actively belting Ranma of the main cast. Kasumi on the other hand being such a one dimensional character has a lot more room to devalop.

Put the Ranma cast on the Tiger's Claw.

I am for the moment against this for one reasons. First is that I don't not want to simply replace characters with Ranma and co. Which is what would happen if I did have Ranma turn up on the Claw steight away, Ranma would wind up taking of Christopher Blair's position. Instead I will have Ranma arrive on the Claw after the bulk of the Vega Campaigne (Wing Commander 1) that way the Blair and Co still have thier momement to shine (albeit of screen) and Ranma will come out as his own character not just taking the role of another.

I am wondering at this point how to introduce the wing commander story to the readers. Should I go for a bulk intro at the start of the fic (like the first episode of macross) or should I split it up between the first few chapters.

You seem locked onto Nabiki as the weapons exectutive, I will assume you have some kind of plot there but if you don't, I wouldn't lock in anyone till you need them in the plot, especially for the climax.

The thing with Nabiki is not set in stone. Its the idea I have got at the moment but it (like everything else) can be changed if needed. The basis of Nabiki's role is that I wanted to have some of the NWC as non combatents. Since I wanted to avoid the Kasumi cleche this left Nabiki as non soldier. The is an idea of her getting involved later on as a member of the diplomatic corps, but was towards the end of the fic (so far). Though I can just as easily have her in intelligance (military or civilian) and look at another Tendo to stay with Soun (maybe Natsumi or Karumi).

The fic is (at this point) devided into several arcs. Each arc represents one tour of duty for Ranma (roughly one year in length). Each Arc ends with Ranma returning to Nerima. I have thought out roughly 6 ToD's so far. First would be on the fringe of the battle lines. The second would be within the confederation against pirates. The Third would have him ar the rear of the confedation (as a punishment from a group of high rankers holding a grudge). The fourth would see him finally join the Claw. The fifth onboard the Concordia and the final attacking the Kilrathi's home planet (though it would not be a war ending attack).

10/12/2010 #6
O'Donoghue

I had given some thought to this, though it is only a maybe. It would be done as a running gag (Ranma gets in from a mission looking forward to some sleep/food only to be dragged of by some female into her bunk). At this point though it is only a thought.

Fair enough and it can be a funny gag. My concern is the context more than any other factor. After all the core of Ranma is a Romanic martial arts comedy series. You are losing most of the MA for piloting, and you face an uphill battle with Comedy as it is a war series (and one I am led to believe suffers from a lot of red shirt deaths of fellow pilots). With this gag you make the romance side of it harder, after all this is a written literature piece so we oft get direct insight to the character mindset and motivations in his very thoughts. While sex doesn't have to be romantic, modern romance includes fidelity as a foundation. Food for thought.

This is, at this point, the way I intend to do it. Though the setting is between having the Ranma backstory occur either on earth or on another planet. I think the other planet is the better of the too options as it would avoid having to come up with a reason why the Nerima ward in 2650 looks the same as 1990. It would also allow a bigger role for the amazons, musk etc...

No matter what you will have a devil of a time explaining to the reader the new and old crossover without them tripping out on details. After all a simple modern convenience like a mobile phone disarms all romantic value of arcs like the return home after so long out of touch against the Musk and the pursuit of Akane to Ryuugonzawa. You might find a gag though that all the roof hopping and horizon punts of the series was aided by low gravity. Ranma and Ryoga's strength by comparison from training on high grav worlds in travels.

The only issue with doing this is that Akane would spend alot of time in the brig. Military discipline will not allow her to bash Ranma with a large blunt object everytime he does something wrong (Yes I know Akane doesn't hit Ranma as much in the Manga as she does in some fanfics, but she still does wallop him a lot).

Tomato Tomato :P You see a problem I see value as Akane keeps getting in trouble and on report only for Ranma to drop charges and such after teasing her more.

Presently though I think the two of your are right and at least one other NWC member should be with Ranma, my mind is hovering over two. Kasumi and Shampoo.

My concern over Shampoo is losing the value of encountering her amoung her people as the group looking for husbands amoung the pirates. Also she would be a bucket of water on your can't rest because girls in his bunk gag. Kasumi too would be a huge damper on his cheating on Akane after the manga.

As for bringing Ranma and replacing crew of the Tiger Claw in the series, I agree that you shouldn't replace them. But when you do mix them in, they have to mix in the way that shows the blending of two series of characters each influencing the other. Making Ranma the star of another show has an innate pitfall of a character is a show so will never feel right without a little effort on the authors part in the change over.

I am wondering at this point how to introduce the wing commander story to the readers. Should I go for a bulk intro at the start of the fic (like the first episode of macross) or should I split it up between the first few chapters.

There is no right answers, only the right writer :D

I recently had an argument over my story Meeting Later which uses an AU of Ranma meeting Akane after the events of the Manga where each suffered through the events alone with different outcomes and character growth be more mature as new trouble faced them falling in love now and unresolved issues of boths pasts. Most readers can accept the premise enough to read the story to see how Akane fought Kodachi in Rythmic Gymnastics MA without Ranma to do it. Others can't accept it without all these important twists being spelled out in chapter 1 paragraph 1. For a long time I thought they were wrong, but now I think they are only mostly wrong. The author does deserve some context early on about how such major events were changed. Fact is I gave enough of those events in the first chapter I am satisfied that those who still don't see it failed to read the first chapter.

But you will face a very similar issue here by having the manga occure in a low tech Nerima on another world reached by hight tech, there is so many variations on how things should have evolved you will need to explain a chunk of the why very quickly. But at the same time, you can't explain too much without the opening chapter becoming a history term paper and giving away too much of the point of the crossover.

So I guess I am saying... better you than me. Good luck :D

The thing with Nabiki is not set in stone. Its the idea I have got at the moment but it (like everything else) can be changed if needed. The basis of Nabiki's role is that I wanted to have some of the NWC as non combatents. Since I wanted to avoid the Kasumi cleche this left Nabiki as non soldier. The is an idea of her getting involved later on as a member of the diplomatic corps, but was towards the end of the fic (so far). Though I can just as easily have her in intelligance (military or civilian) and look at another Tendo to stay with Soun (maybe Natsumi or Karumi).

Fair enough. Random idea, Nabiki is civilian, what's more she is an anti war protester. After causing trouble for the military in an early arc she calms down, but then tries to seduce Ranma to at least get on the ship, for sabutage.

The fic is (at this point) devided into several arcs. Each arc represents one tour of duty for Ranma (roughly one year in length). Each Arc ends with Ranma returning to Nerima. I have thought out roughly 6 ToD's so far. First would be on the fringe of the battle lines. The second would be within the confederation against pirates. The Third would have him ar the rear of the confedation (as a punishment from a group of high rankers holding a grudge). The fourth would see him finally join the Claw. The fifth onboard the Concordia and the final attacking the Kilrathi's home planet (though it would not be a war ending attack).

That seems to be a lot of writing to cover the character growth and events of the war. Actually to me it is depressingly long to have a climax without an end to the war.

10/12/2010 #7
Taechunsa

I had given some thought to this, though it is only a maybe. It would be done as a running gag (Ranma gets in from a mission looking forward to some sleep/food only to be dragged of by some female into her bunk). At this point though it is only a thought.

I have to agree with O'Donoghue here.

I generally do not like fanfiction where Ranma runs around and sleeps with a lot of people. This is the same person who throws a fit over kissing someone he loves in front of others. It just isn't in his character to be a playboy, and it would take a lot of work to make him into one. Are you sure that you really want to spend that time?

Besides, having Ranma sleep with a lot of other people not only would require a lot of time, effort, and words to make it not be completely out-of-character simply because of the whole intimacy issue that Ranma has, but you would also HAVE to spend a lot of time, effort, and words to explain why is being unfaithful to Akane (his fiancee and the girl that he is obviously shown to love in the canon).

To not do this will make this fiction dead to me as it will commit the same sin that way too many (nearly all) non-Ranma/Akane fanfictions commit in basically snubbing their nose at canon in favor of a lazy Dues Ex Machina dismissal of Ranma and Akane's love for each other. To have Ranma start sleeping around you would have to destroy that love, and to do it well you will have to spend time on it.

Is that really what you want?

You seem to be very resistant to Ranma and Akane being a couple. So as to not waste anyone's time. Are you opposed to having Ranma and Akane as a couple in this story for personal reasons, or just not sure how to do it and achieve the result that you want? If the first, it would be nice to know so we can stop talking about it as you are not likely to be convinced. If it is the second then I think we can help you do both.

I think the other planet is the better of the too options as it would avoid having to come up with a reason why the Nerima ward in 2650 looks the same as 1990. It would also allow a bigger role for the amazons, musk etc...

I think the other planet is a much better idea also.

The only issue with doing this is that Akane would spend alot of time in the brig. Military discipline will not allow her to bash Ranma with a large blunt object everytime he does something wrong (Yes I know Akane doesn't hit Ranma as much in the Manga as she does in some fanfics, but she still does wallop him a lot).

Again, I agree with Trent. This is only an issue if you make it one.

First, Akane is FAR more likely to simply hit or kick Ranma than to hit him with a large object in the manga. And as we have all learned from war movies it isn't uncommon for soldiers to get into dustups between themselves. Heck, look at "The Hurt Locker", they got drunk and beat on each other. Yet, nobody ends up in the brig.

Second, the VAST majority of that over the top violence in the anime is comedic related and causes little to no real damage. As this story seems to have little to no comedic elements including that level of violence is not called for, nor is it truly accurate. She will get upset with him, and would likely slap or punch or kick him, but it wouldn't be anywhere near what would be arrest levels of violence. That just isn't appropriate in your story, as those were always comedic elements.

Long story short. That is not even remotely a reason to not place Ranma and Akane in the same wing. If you have other reasons, that is fine. But this one isn't really valid.

I could of course come up with a reason for Akane not to clobber Ranma no matter what he says or does, however this would be for me at least a detraction from her character.

That reason is clear and, in fact, is a central premise of what you stated you are wanting from this story, growing up. You are making the false assumption that Akane wouldn't grow up. In the manga, Akane acts a lot like a child with a temper, in short she gets physically violent. A large portion of those children still have a temper when they get older, but they learn impulse control and proper outlets for that temper. Isn't showing the growth of the characters, especially in the face of human mortality one of your stated desires for this story?

If that is really what you want, then Akane is actually better suited to this story then Ranma. Reacting with violence takes on a new light when the ultimate end of violence is thrown in your face. Akane would be a great bellwether for the display of this throughout the story. Start her off as reacting to Ranma with violence, as per the manga, and getting in trouble for it. Then over time have her become less and less physically violent as she matures and grows up in the face of war and death.

Having her meet up with Ranma on a mission after not seeing him for a few months/years and then giving him a massive right hook and stomping off seems to be more within her character. Of course this is just how I see it.

I think that there is a fundamental gulf between our perceptions of Akane's character. In the manga she is a sweet and caring girl whom is in love with Ranma, but has a bit of a temper problem (which is usually played to extremes for comedy).

In a drama story where comedy is not a factor then I strongly feel that if canon Akane were separated for months or years from Ranma in a war setting where neither really knows if the others is still alive, the absolute last thing that she would do is hit him. Unless, of course, you turn him into an uncharacteristic a##hole and have him cheat on her. Or unless you want to pull the cliche out-of-character bit of pulling the comedy elements into a drama and treating them as real. If you are going to do that, then you had best be prepared to have Ranma thrown in the brig all of the time for insubordination, dereliction of duty, and conduct unbecoming.

In other words, be very careful of subjective morality. You are seemingly running full bore into it with Akane. You are subjecting her actions to scrutiny and realism while forgiving or ignoring Ranma's actions.

Presently though I think the two of your are right and at least one other NWC member should be with Ranma, my mind is hovering over two. Kasumi and Shampoo. Shampoo from my recollecting of the Manga is the least prone to actively belting Ranma of the main cast. Kasumi on the other hand being such a one dimensional character has a lot more room to devalop.

Shampoo would be an utter disaster. Not only would placing her there remove the possibilities inherent in making the Amazons a different force, but you would have to fundamentally change her character to keep her from constantly chasing Ranma. Not to mention that while she is, oddly, the least physically violent of Ranma's fiancees towards him, she is the most psychologically violent towards him. With numerous incidents of using drug or magic on Ranma to make him act against his will, blackmailing him, and the all too common usage of her curse to frighten or "punish" Ranma. Not to mention that having Shampoo be a member of the same crew would completely kill any effort to have Ranma sleep with anyone else as Shampoo would beat the crap out of anybody who tried to sleep with her "airen". Which would of course, result in her being thrown in the brig for assault or attempted murder. Not really fun for a story.

Kasumi has more possibility. If you keep Ranma and Akane as a couple then there would be the whole element of Ranma trying to keep his fiancee's sister safe, while at the same time having to learn that he can't completely protect her. It would also give an in-built link back to the families, as I see Kasumi being much more of a letter writer than Ranma. If you decide to spend the time and effort on breaking up Ranma and Akane then you still could have the protective instinct of Ranma come into play, but I don't see it being as strong. That being said, Kasumi will be a hard one to write as a fighter pilot without changing her character too much. I would strongly suggest you look at "Saotome Gambit" to see how J. Austin Wilde pulled it off, because he did a very good job of it. Especially during the Battle of the Moon of Oni storyline.

I am for the moment against this for one reasons. First is that I don't not want to simply replace characters with Ranma and co. Which is what would happen if I did have Ranma turn up on the Claw steight away, Ranma would wind up taking of Christopher Blair's position. Instead I will have Ranma arrive on the Claw after the bulk of the Vega Campaigne (Wing Commander 1) that way the Blair and Co still have thier momement to shine (albeit of screen) and Ranma will come out as his own character not just taking the role of another.

Why would you have to replace characters?

Some of the best Au-crossovers that I have ever read ("Hogwarts 1/2" and "Star Wars: A Faint Hope" being good Ranma examples), don't replace the crossover series' characters, they meld them into the story.

I think that they conclusion you are making is that Ranma has to be the best pilot, the biggest hot-shot out there that has to go on the "big" missions from the game. That isn't necessarily true. Especially, if the movie was in any way close to game canon and the main character of the Wing Commander game and movie is a "pilgrim" with abilities that Ranma wouldn't have.

During the game weren't there a ton of other fighter pilots also doing battle while the main character was completing his mission? If so, then make Ranma one of those other nameless pilots and tell his story. Also, keep in mind that you do not have to keep the exact Wing Commander storyline here. Twist things up every once in a while. Perhaps, Ranma does take one of those missions that the main character had in the movie. Make Ranma and the main character of Wing Commander have a sort of rivalry to see who is the best pilot.

This is the type of interaction that is really needed of a good crossover.

If you don't want Ranma really interacting with the main characters, then I have ask. Why even set this in the Wing Commander universe? Why not simply make up your own science fiction setting to place the Ranma cast into? Is there some element of the Wing Commander universe that you absolutely love and want to incorporate? Because from what I have seen, the only original thing in the Wing Commander universe is the pilgrim concept. Other than that it seems about like a myriad of other military science fiction.

I am wondering at this point how to introduce the wing commander story to the readers. Should I go for a bulk intro at the start of the fic (like the first episode of macross) or should I split it up between the first few chapters.

Bulk intro is seldom ever a good idea. Either your reader is going to know about the Wing Commander universe and won't need, nor appreciate an info dump, or your reader won't know anything about the Wing Commander universe, and will still not really appreciate an info dump. Better to slowly introduce the necessary elements as the story progresses.

The basis of Nabiki's role is that I wanted to have some of the NWC as non combatents. Since I wanted to avoid the Kasumi cleche this left Nabiki as non soldier.

Why do either of them have to be soldiers? Why not leave them both as civilians? For someone who was worried about including too many characters you sure are going to a lot of trouble to work them into the story.

Though I can just as easily have her in intelligance (military or civilian) and look at another Tendo to stay with Soun (maybe Natsumi or Karumi).

Natsumi? Karumi? Who the hack are they?!

Ohhh... Yeah, they are those made up characters from that anime based on the manga. ;)

I think it is becoming very clear why your concept of Akane differs so much from mine. You seem to be an anime canon guy, and I am firmly in the camp of manga canon. So much so, that I can barely stomach the anime and personally consider it little more than a professional fanfiction, and not even a well written one.

--

What I would really like to know is what you really want from this story?

Is the purpose for writing this to do a Ranma / Wing Commander AU-crossover? Or is the Wing Commander element just a background for what you really want, a military science fiction story where the Ranma cast can grow up and dramatically experience the horrors of war?

10/13/2010 . Edited 10/13/2010 #8
Mizuryunokamioh

Ok again you two have provided me with plenty to think about. Rather than address each point, I will summerise what I have in mind thus far after concidering what you both have written.

Firstly the Ranma sleeps around idea is at this point axed. Instead I will go with a more cleche idea of him simply being oblivious to peoples finding him attactive and making passes at him. This would be noticed by his squadron commander who give him the ironic tag of harem when he/she notices the number of followers Ranma picks up.

Anime canon v.s. Manga canon. Taechunsa I consider myself to be in niether camp. I enjoyed both sources and I consider the two to be in alternate existances, or in two seperate universe if you will. As for canon in fanfiction, reguardless of its source canon to me has always been more of a guideline than a rule of thumb. In other words I am not phased if I go out of canon with a character. I try not to go into the extremes of fanon (akane the psycho, nabiki the ice queen etc) by I don't religiously stick with canon either.

Characters: Ranma, no he will not be a knight in shining armor do no evil type of character. He will not be the best pilot (he may think it though) he will not be the badest hot shot either (he would have to compete with the likes of Lonewolf, Maniac, Hawk, Hunter and Stringray for that title). He will be on some big missions (usually since big missions will require lots of pilots) but he will also get plenty of reutine patrols around back water systems as well. He will be a good pilot, but it will take awhile for him do become so. He will come up with killer stratigies he will also get shot down, be forced to eject etc... He will get medals and commendations, he will also get plenty of tellings off and possibly even a demotion or two.

Akane: I have to agree with what you have both pointed out, I am guilty of having not thought out my initial objection. Akane is very capable of controlling herself and keeping her cool (or at least waiting until no one else is around to see her give Ranma a twack or three). So it is a possablity for her to go to the acadamy with Ranma.

Shampoo: I am inclined to beleive that Shampoo would be able to control her self as much as Akane can. However I am considering having her be enlisted in the planets (not named yet) PDF and discovering that the Amazons have thier own detachment within. She would then wind up being transfurred to the regular forces to replace losses sustained in combat (similer to Jace "flash" Dillon from wing commander three). I have also given thought to either having mother be already in the PDF (perhaps even heading up the detachment) and possibly having ling ling and lung lung as well (yes they are anime characters but still viable for a cameo role).

Nabiki: This far I am commited to the idea of her staying as a non-combatent and getting a high paying job in a corperation. This would be followed by her comming to support her father as the head of the Nerima council. Towards the middle of the fic she would join the diplomatic corps and be sent to try and convince another planet to join the confederacy (a mission in which Ranma and Akane maybe present as a guard of honor type unit).

Soun: Will take over as the head of the Nerima town council, would later be pushed by supports to run for senator of the Planet (with Nabiki acting as his P/A or P/R). Would intially be miffed with Ranma over Ranma's enlistment (and his daughters enlistment as well). But as he comes to know other families who have memebers enlisted he will come to understand Ranma and his daughters decision.

Genma: Will enlist into the Marines. I like the Idea of him becoming a topkick, helping his luitenent keep the grunts in line.

Kasumi: Definatly a constant letter writer. Will check out your recomendation Taechunsa and read Saotome Gambit, since I do like the idea of Kasumi being a combat pilot.

Peerings: I havn't really decided yet. There is not going to be any cut an dry relationships in this fic. The will be breakups, dates (as best as one can manage onboard a ship) heat of the moment kisses (and possibly more). Though if Ranma is getting action, it will be that Akane will too. As for an actual Ranma/Akane peer up, to be honest my preferance is not to go with this peering. Not because I am against such a peering (it is canon) more because I like to see something different. However this is not set in stone.

Possable peerings for Akane aside from Ranma could include; Dr Tofu mainly because it hasn't been done before to my knowledge and she did hold a candle for him. A male Wind Commander Pilot is another major possablity, leaning towards Sandman due to his quiet demeanor (a change from most of the males she is around) otherwise Doomsday (Nice guy even if he thinks that every mission will be his last).

For Ranma: Either a female Pilot (spirit, flint or shadow) or 'sparks' a crew chief or Kristi Marks a marine major. Though peerings at this point are a low priority.

Wing Commander: I am not using the movie, I feel the same way about the movie as Taechunsa feels about the Ranma1/2 Anime. The focus of Wing Commander is on the first two games and the novels. The Wing Commander storyline will follow the first game, after which some changes will occer. Namely Ranma will arrive on the Claw for the beginnings of the second enigma campaigne (which is untold so far). While the first game's story is going on (generally written into the background as anouncements via commanding officers to thier crews, news reports and the thoughts of characters) Ranma will be serving in another sector of the Confederacy (as will Akane and the others). This will maintain Mavrick's position within the story without being pushed into being nothing more than a bit part character (which given my level of skill as a writer would probibly happen if I had Ranma on the Claw form the start).

The base running gag I have is servicemen (men and women) viewing Ranma as an alien (due to his curse, whilst the other cursed characters will be ignored as those that see them change will probibly think that if the tell anyone they will be thought of as insane and taking of duty). Ranma's species will be believed to be Double Helix (an alien race mentioned but not discribed in the Wing Commander Games). I have given thought to having the species as humaniod and either Asexual (kinda like a haemaphrodite) or cable of changing sex at need.

One problem is the lack of ground based vehicles in Wing Commander. They are mention in brief (very brief) but not described in any way. Now the way I see it is that I have three choices, just not describe marine combat and have occur of screen. Borrow vehicles from another serial (for this my first choice would be Warhammer 40k's Imperiual Guard given the similer levels of tech) or come up with my own designs (Though anything make up would probibly wind up being very similer to existing models)

Tech info: I am leaning towards having the tech being discribed within each chapter as it appears (for example Ranma discribing in his mind a particle strike craft). The other idea is to have a single craft/weapon/vehicle etc.. being desribed after the end of a chapter. Also should I have a list of abbreviations, or would it be considered common knowledge (example HUD - Heads Up Display).

I will stop here for now. Sorry if I didn't manage to adress all of your ideas and concerns. And again thanks for helping out here, this is actually starting to look writable as a fic.

10/13/2010 #9
O'Donoghue

Sounds like you are getting into a position to write and happy with you're results.

I must admit I am rather happy to bring in Anime characters and techniques on occasion but then again I have done my fair share of Fanon and OOC. ML wouldn't work if Nodoka was as bat#$% crazy as she is in the manga. Mind you, the manga is far better than the anime, which tends to have jems amoung chaff.

Having a romance between Ranma and Akane that is more mature and fluctuating betwen called off and brought by heat back on is something I toyed with (and still do) as a story MZephyr proposed of retelling the manga but with Akane and Ranma meeting as first year college/university attendees forced to share a residence and not told of the engagement. Having them meeting others and hooking up with rivals (making out generally over sleeping around) as a take on a mature relationship had an appeal but I personally beleive I am too much a sap to put them through the breakups even to get the make ups.

I will suggest you take advantage of showing politics in affection of other characters. For example if a commander pilot seeks to get into Akane's pants, she would be put in his flight, squadren, training squad, etc. The Tiger Claws captain might be more willing to give Ranma a commendation if she gets to 'celebrate' it with him. I have found too many military stories of this kind the love interests just come to the hero and offer themselves rather than play to thier strengths and set the situation to themselves.

In this situation I'd be inclind to play off the idea of limited recording letters between them as they work seperate missions, in high adrenalin situations driving them apart and together when they get close.

I'd mull over your idea of Ranma's curse being like some alien race with every detail of these double helix speicies possible to make sure they mesh well.

Tech terms once explained are fine to repeat, but I suggest any short hand used use in dialog MORE than description. For example:

Ranma looked at his heads up display and saw a radiation leak.

"Echo 2, my HUD is showing a radiation leak."

My final point before I just wish you luck is to ask how much you will be detailing each mission? Afterall, every action scene should promote the plot, not replace it. You have a situation and refer to missions, but not the actual plot outside what might be in the games which... were written for an action game, not literature.

10/13/2010 . Edited 10/13/2010 #10
Taechunsa

Not because I am against such a peering (it is canon) more because I like to see something different.

This type of comment always cracks me up when it is used in reference to a story like this. Is completely changing the setting and genre of Ranma not enough change?

Honestly, at what point is too much change too much? Are you going to leave anything from the Ranma 1/2 canon other than names? If that IS all that you leave is this really a Ranma fanfiction anymore or is it just an original story with familiar names?

I can understand this sentiment when nearly everything else stays the same as the canon, but in a major rework of the Ranma canon as you are proposing, what is left of the original at all? Like Trent said, you are getting rid of the martial arts, the comedy, and now the romantic relationships from the canon. What the heck is left of the Ranma 1/2 series?

For that reason, I would strongly suggest that you consider keeping Ranma and Akane's relationship. At least that is something that the reader can grab ahold of from the canon and use as an anchor for the other major changes you are making.

10/13/2010 #11
Mizuryunokamioh

Unfortunatly it seems I will be unable to continue with this project in the fore seeable future, due to personal reasons.

Thank you Taechunsa and O'Donoghue for all of your insights and ideas.

10/14/2010 #12
Taechunsa

That is unfortunate to hear. I hope that everything is okay, or will at least work out okay.

If you ever wish to work on this again, and need somebody to complain about everything you propose. I might just be your man. ;)

Be well.

10/14/2010 #13
Mizuryunokamioh

Thanks Taechunsa.

10/14/2010 #14
O'Donoghue

"Freddy prince jnr couldn't command wings at a KFC. "

Heh, sorry to revisit this one and I know Mizuryunokamioh isn't able to continue it, but in a moment of surfing I saw the spoonyexperiment had a review of Wing Commander movie. The quote above got a laugh out of me.

But the opening of the review (which isn't all hits), did show me why the Wing Commander series was popular, that is the major plot with great actors in video clips to drive the story of an otherwise solid game.

Knowing that most of our advice was not very helpful as Ranma entering the plot and twisting that up until we knew what that plot. That said it does look impressive from this side so if you or someone else go for this, take what you can from the thread over all and good luck. Mark Hamil, the guy who played the dwarf in Lord of the rings (and was in Raiders of the lost arc), and Ranma in 1 fic, I'll read it!

10/16/2010 #15
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