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ToManyLetters

So, basically, the idea is to post some of the bad summaries you find while digging through the hundreds of thousands of stories here at FanFiction.net (or on other sites, if you must). They may qualify as 'bad' for any number of reasons. Perhaps the idea is just stupid, maybe their grammar is atrocious, perhaps they just fail at life altogether. You may choose to list the story and/or author, but if you'd like to be a little decent, don't.

A few I noticed recently:

1. "Tom Riddle has a weakness for...Minerva McGonagall? She's the only one who understands him...A Minerva/Tom pairing, obviously."

2. "Hermione is in an abusive relationship with Ron and it drives her so far that she starts cutting herself. Fred finds out and tries to help her but she has given up."

3. ""Draco, What are we doing?" Short summary I know its only one sentence but yeah. T cause I'm paranoid! So ya real fluff pretty much right from the start."

4. "When the famous, muggle, singer-actor Severus Snape comes to town, Harry finds him falling into the forbidden world of fanboying. But no! He must resist... but who can resist hotness like that?"

5. "Is Bella really bella and what is bell what made edward fall in love with her and why did bella need edward i own nothig warning smuty sex scenes"

6. "The scene is 1583, and Haylie Potter is the only remaining heiress of her line. In the care of the Queen herself as a Lady in Waiting, she finds herself facing a rare choice. The choice of marriage. Fem!Harry/Draco"

7. "Draco has made all the wrong choices in life and now he is facing the consiquenses. Draco has two choices: Go to Azkaban or Marry a Muggle born. He chooses to Marry and shocks every one when he chooses Hermione of his 4 choices. Is this the right choice?"

What have you all seen?

7/26/2010 . Edited 2/4/2011 #1
Bad Mum

The idea of someone being called Haylie in 1583 cracks me up!

Here are a few for you:

1. set in fourth year neliana eterana was having a great year at the salemn witches institute that is until her dorm room got burned down so her aunt sends her to her old school hogwarts this should be fun no flames harry and oc

(Do we have some sort of moral objection to capital letters and punctuation?)

2. Battle of who can creep each other out more

3. Lily and James are alive. Harry is still the Boy Who Lived just Voldemort is DEAD DEAD DEAD yay!Harry wants Ginny she hates his guts.

(She probably objects to his lack of commas.)

4. First part of a long story-and that's all I'm gonna say

(Very informative. Thanks.)

5. Ron and Draco think they like, no, LOVE, each other, but they don't. Harry will be sure to save them from becoming a them.

6. I AM RE-WRITING THIS STORY THAT IS CURRENTLY MADE OF FAIL. I WROTE THIS YEARS AGO. FORGIVE ME FOR MY FOOLISHNESS.

(Excellent. Why not just delete it then?)

7. ON HOLD UNTIL MY FIC VAMPIRE! COMES TO AN END Re-write!. Harry and Draco Two diffrent people but the same in so many ways .. Ment to hate eachother..But yet they Love eachother..

7/27/2010 #2
Bad Mum

Finding these could become addictive!

1. I took Harry Potter, put myself and my freinds in it, and messed it up to my own liking.

(And no one else's.)

2. Lord Neurion has been a Commander of Gondor for 15 years when he encounters Cedric Diggory. He has no choice but to bring Cedric with him to the Council of Elrond, where another surprise awaits.

(The fact that Cedric is in the wrong book? The fact that Neurion is neurotic? I can hardly wait.)

3. A seven year old Draco drinks a potion that turns him into a puppy! What happens when he's thrown on the streets and a young girl finds him?

(My mind can't stretch itself round that one...)

4. 10 Poems about my Favourite Characters! Was called Character Poems, but I've decided I only want to do ten now xD Enjoy chucks! x

(Chucks??)

5. What does Blaise Zabini and Hermione Granger have in common?

(They are both grammatically challenged?)

6. Months after Voldermonts defeat and the Wizarding World back to normal, Ron and Hermione are struggling to confess their feelings for each other. I haven't changed all that much from the actual book, I just brought a person back to life, lol!

(No problem. Happens all the time...)

7. On the night after the final battle, Hermione finds a broken Ron sat in the common room. ONESHOT Ron&Hermione

(This grammar thing is catching.)

8. Fred is the angel for music for Hermione... Will she findout... what about the big play coming up for 5th years...

(What about a summary that makes actual sense?)

9. Dealling with loss is much to pain full for some to deal with.

(As is spelling.)

10. Playwright Harry Potter meets prince Draco Malfoy. The prince gets himself a part in Harry's play: 'The Prisoner of Azkaban', yet Harry has no idea that one of the players is the prince he fell in love with! Shakespeare in Love&Count of Monte Cristo

(I think I preferred Draco as the puppy.)

7/27/2010 #3
ToManyLetters

Rofl, Bad Mum. Keep 'em comin'! Those are better than the ones I'd dug up, for sure. I'll have to hunt some new ones soon, too. =-D

7/27/2010 #4
FirstYear

I love this thread...

1. just some langueage

(Okay...obviously not English)

2. lame ass title, but anyways. Fleur and Hermione have a grand ol time splashing about together in their pool rated T cause of suggested nudity, there's no actual description though

(Ever seen a pool rated T?)

3. I suck at summary's Harry stays with Sirius and Draco for the 4th year holdiday's and starts to show his love for Hermione. Draco is good, Ron's an ass and so is Dumbledore and ginny rated T for swears. Enjoy done

(You suck at more then writing a summary.)

4. Alright this is kinda like a game show thing between a character from each book. I didn't know where to post it so it's here. Please R&R! I would LOVE suggestions!

(I would love to leave a suggestion on what to do with this story.)

5. Hermione Granger is depressed - being dumped three times in the same month can do that to a person. Her best friends are happy and are oblivious to her impending doom of weighing over 80 kilos. But then someone shows up and her world is turned upside down

(This is tagged a Romance/Humor.)

6. Oneshot. There were three, count them, three. R&R rated T cuz thas how i rate everything. by Lone

(I have no idea what this is.)

7. i rated it PG-13 cuz there's not enough inappropriate content for it to be rated R. Malfoy gets Hermione pregnant, but he's already married...will he help with the baby? it takes place in their 7th year and after. ..::FINISHED::..

(Enough said.)

But...my fav for tonight.... 8. You will have to read to find out

7/27/2010 #5
Bad Mum

I want a T-rated pool!

7/28/2010 #6
Respitini

I want a T-rated pool!

Hell, I'll settle for K+.

7/28/2010 #7
Shuna

Here is one I found, it actually made me feel a little sick...

AU/OOC: Harry/Lucius/Severus threesome.war ended in ministry, Sirius dead. Harry sent home to Dursleys where Uncle is more perverse child abuse .He is saved but only to come into the home and bed of two men who don't know the word no.mpreg/rape HP/SS/LM

7/28/2010 #8
Bad Mum

no.mpreg/rape

Well, that's something, I suppose, but not much.

7/28/2010 #9
Respitini

Well, that's something, I suppose, but not much.

Actually, I think mpreg/rpe were the warnings, and no. should have had a space after it.

*looks for the hand sanitizer*

7/28/2010 #10
Bad Mum

Actually, I think mpreg/rpe were the warnings, and no. should have had a space after it.

You're probably right.

I need brain bleach. I don't think hand sanitizer cuts it.

7/28/2010 . Edited 7/28/2010 #11
Shuna

Actually, I think mpreg/rpe were the warnings, and no. should have had a space after it.

Yeah, it is. I just copied the sumary, I should have inserted the spaces where they were not

7/28/2010 . Edited 7/28/2010 #12
Bad Mum

1. Draco Malfoy is stuck on the Hogwarts Express with none other than the unwanted presence of Pansy Parkinson, what lengths will he go to in order to have one minuets peace? Rated T for Teeney-Weeney "Up Close" part.

(I always like to minuet in peace myself. And I don't want to think about Draco's Teeney-Weeney being up close with anything.)

2. Ginny was kidnapped in the battle. Harry and Hermione are secret lovers behind Ron's back. Will Ron find out? Will Harry and Hermione stay together? Read to find out! I suck at summaries.

(Well, yes, you do.)

3. Ignore the title please. anywawy! This is a story about Hrry having a twin and Dumby being evil! I suck at summerys! Srry! P.S. I put T on everything! :3

(I think I'll ignore the story too, thanks.)

4. inside No flames please

(Yeah flames are always safer outside.)

5. How the infamous Sirius Black met his match in Marlene McKinnon. Right now it is completed, but I may continue it.

(Well that makes perfect sense.)

7/28/2010 #13
FirstYear

1. set directly before 19 years later, carrying on the story straight after Voldemort is defeated. This fanfiction is mainly made up of romance, jealousy and friendship... enjoy! lemons!

(I didn't think time challenged existed)

2. An epic story of time travel, romance, fantasies and eventually MPREG. HarryX? R&R

(This epic story has 659 words and is marked complete.)

3. Not good at reviews. Started out as dream and I felt like writing a story. Rated M for future language, and possibly Lemons. Please Read and Rate!

(Not good at vocabulary either. Interesting note...this story has no reviews...unless you count the summary)

7/28/2010 #14
Bad Mum

I didn't think time challenged existed

It shouldn't.

7/29/2010 #15
Bad Mum

Some more offerings:

1. James and Lily surrivive. Harry has a twin, and she gets pushed out of the way for Harry. Harry becomes a little jerkish. Warnings: AU OOCLily OOCHarry OOCSirius a bit One OC. Parings: None really, just Lily/James a bit. Better summary inside.

(Could you better that? Really?)

2. WHat happens after Harry leaves and up to the time were the kiss. Done in a weird way. Beware of weird comparisons. And words that don't exist, and above ll *gasp* CHEESEY! And worse CHEESEY...FLUFF! *bum bum bum* O.k. well theres no that much fluf

(Some people need to remember that summaries are supposed to make you want to read their stoy.)

3. Harry made a list. 101 ways to kill Voldemort. Wanna see?

(Well, no.)

4. just something totally random that ran through my mind about the Wizarding World.

(Probably would have been better if you kept it there.)

5. Liz's dad was killed by Voldemort when she was just a baby, but somehow she defended herself with a blue shield. Liz had nowhere to go, so Dumbledore sent her off to live with muggles in the U.S. She's different than all the other students, but why? R&R!

(Obvious solution. No one in the whole of Britian - magic or Muggle - who could possibly take her.)

6. AU SLASH When sweet little Harry Potter was 7 years old he was rescued by the Muggle Social Services because Vernon let something slip. Now he lives in Japan with adopted parents. A Hogwarts Letter came... But now what happens? HP/DM Will become an M!

(Clearly there are no suitable adoptive parents for any child in the whole of the UK.)

7. Harry is on his way to Hogwarts. What challenges will he face, will anyone find out her secret? AU

(Mm, getting changed in the boys's dorm could be a problem when puberty hits.)

8. About a new school year and how torrible stars up

(I am trying, and failing, to translate that into English.)

9. Her heart pounded, like a hare caught in the claws of a mountain lion. It was intoxicating, this feeling of taboo.

(Mixed metaphors, much?)

10. I was bored and made this! So Harry Potter has a dream and it is not about Voldemort!... It's worse... Snape, raccoon, Lady Gaga, a emo bear, beavers! It's scary... hahahahaha!

(Please try not to get bored again.)

7/29/2010 #16
FirstYear

1. The Trio, Ginny, Luna, Draco, Seamus and Dean, plus Amber, find themselves on a different plane, and taking courses at the famed Academy. Can they survive, and will they make it back to their own plane in time to defeat Voldemort and his Death Eaters?

(I've been on long flights, but nothing that compares to this.)

2. Dumbest story I've ever written. Ending is good, though.

(No thank you...I have enough dumb stories to read)

3. After being convicted of war crimes, Lucius malfoy meets his ver bitter end. One Shot.

(He is either very flexible or has a big mirror...geesh I hope it is the mirror)

4.AND this is the conclusion of mentally unstable children and their hysterical parents. Thanks for watching folks, and remember, the world wouldn't be what it is today without diapers! -The pain and torture of a single parent to another. [COMPLETED]

(Did ff.net join youtube?)

7/29/2010 #17
Bad Mum

I have visions of Lucius and a mirror stuck in my brain now.

Thanks a lot...

7/30/2010 #18
ToManyLetters

Wow. I love how this thread has turned out. There's some great comedic stuff here.

1. I am not okay, first of all I'm being deprived of my precious food then I get dragged out of class against my will and now all of a sudden I'm a Marauder. What in the blazes is going on? Why can't I just have a normal romance? RemOC Marauders Era

(Epic fail.)

2. Well, my friends and I decided, hey, what would it be like if we were in Harry Potter? But, you know, with James Sirius and Albus Severus Potter and the like? So, we're making a fair attempt at actually writing the story. Have a looksie!

(I am so going to get the scalpel and cut you and your friends out of Harry Potter. He's got enough inside him as it is.)

3. ella is the first student in hogwarts history to be placed in a house and start school at 13

(There is so much fail here, it wins for failing so hard.)

4. A collection of misunderstandings.. "Oh, honestly, Ronald! It's tiny!", "How the hell can you call that tiny!?", "I've seen bigger", "Really?", Ron gulped, "Really". ; Things are not what they seem in this story..

(Okay, this one's not so much a fail, but it is funny. It is a bit disturbing, however.)

5. When James and Lily were at Hogwarts. From their 6th year to 7th year. Yes, my summary sucks.:P The story is better! R&R Plz!

(Wow. Sentence fragment. Stating the obvious. Lots of fail. Point taken?)

6. Al has always crushed on Scorpius, who he thinks would never want him. But Scorpius HAS always wanted a dog, which just so happens to be Al's Animagi form. Now if Al could just make Scorpius like him as a human too.

(That's all sorts of wrong. Fail.)

7. A girl named Melina Anderson goes to Hogwarts during Fourth Year and began hanging around with Hermione, Ron, and Harry, hating Draco the moment she met him, but suddenly things change and she's thrown in with him in this class Hermione contributed to

(I'm so excited! I can smell the Mary Sue, and her name's Melina!)

7/30/2010 #19
Bad Mum

More, more, more...

1. I am a 17-year-old girl in my last year of Hogwarts. I'm popular and well-liked, my friends being the Marauders. I have the misfortune of having fallen in love with one of my friends. Maybe everybody loving you isn't so great after all. So says The Fox.

(I have an irresistable urge to sing "You'll never outfox the Fox" from "The Court Jester" now. )

2. we all know the song by taylor swift right: "you belong with me" well this is basically that song in a story fashion with Harry and Draco. I wrote this at 3 in the morning with sleep deprivation so it's a bit myeh in the ending, but i'll fix it later 3

(a) no we don't b) I really shouldn't bother, if I were you c) what's the random "3" for?)

3. I know there are tonnes of great Harry gets abused and Snape saves the day fics but this isn't going to be too 'Mary Sue'... Due to an unforeseeable circumstance Snape has to stay at Harry's for the whole summer. Awkward bonding not slash! abuse warn

(Just Mary Sue enough then?)

4. Abused Harry is the forgotten twin of Andrew, the BWL. When Harry is transported to the Founders time when he is 5, nobody cares. Now, Harry is 11 and back to attend Hogwarts with the daughter of Slytherin and the son of Gryffindor. PowerfulSlytherinHarry

(Oh really, must you? *sigh*)

8/2/2010 #20
Shuna

what's the random "3" for?

Most likely the author tried to make the catface, which is this; :3 or maybe they were trying to make a heart

8/2/2010 #21
FirstYear

I just saw this...

"Harry!" she cried, slapping him. "Don't do this to yourself!" He didn't even flinch as her hand impacted his hollow face. Tears sprung into Ginny's eyes. Gritting her teeth, she did the only thing she could think of. She ripped off her shirt.

Okay...so you slap your boyfriend/husband and you rip off your shirt? Puts a whole new meaning to make-up s&*. That or it does make you wonder what he was doing that made her slap him and then take her clothes off...either way... I think I will pass this one. I need bleach.

8/2/2010 #22
Love From A Muggle

Snape sticks his foot in his mouth, and only Ron, Harry, and George can save him.-Now that one is weird. I just saw it as well.

Songfic, lyrics sectioned in italics.-and this one doesn't describe the story at all.

Hermione Granger knew what being with her "parents". Soon, her family is torn away as death takes them and she has to get used to the idea of being Hermione Salazar once again. But who does she turn to when her friends turn their backs on her?Who knows!:- that one doesnt make any sense.

8/2/2010 . Edited 8/2/2010 #23
FirstYear

Snape sticks his foot in his mouth, and only Ron, Harry, and George can save him.-Now that one is weird. I just saw it as well.

I can see the headlines..."Man swallows himself"

8/3/2010 #24
Respitini

Really have half a mind to put Katy's summary for "Collisions" here, but I can't think of anything to say that's simulaneously suitably snarky and not unkind to a friend...

8/3/2010 #25
Bad Mum

Yeah, it's not one of my best. I must re-write it....

8/3/2010 #26
Respitini

Yeah, it's not one of my best. I must re-write it....

You know what? It might be good to leave as-is. Maybe one of your younger readers will pick it, and see how that genre of story ought to be written.

8/3/2010 #27
Bad Mum

You know what? It might be good to leave as-is. Maybe one of your younger readers will pick it, and see how that genre of story ought to be written.

:-) Maybe. You're very good for my ego,you know that?

8/3/2010 #28
Respitini

Comme nous roulons...

8/3/2010 #29
Love From A Muggle

"Man swallows himself"

LOL now i can picture that too.

8/3/2010 #30
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