Legendary Muses
Legendary Pokemon Shippers, gather for a discussion of sharing ideas, voicing your opinions on certain ships and other things that have to do with the awesomeness that is Legendary Pokemon shipping.
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The Dragon Lover

Out of the boredom that is my life (kidding, more like chaos), I've decided that I wanted to do critiquing videos, like the great webshows of the Angry Video Game Nerd and the Nostalgia Critic. Since I'm almost always a writer first and foremost, I decided that the first things I'd start to critique would be fanfiction. Not only would I be telling you ways to improve it, but I'd be advertising it as well! Good deal, no?

I'm not the best writer, I admit, and not even the best critic, but I would like to try this out, even if for only a little bit. Who wants to be my first critique?

Key: Underlined = Completed and Uploaded, Italics = Work In Progress

List of Authors in Line:

Being redone!

9/14/2009 . Edited 4/3/2012 #1
EssentiallyCrazy

You can critique me.

9/14/2009 #2
The Dragon Lover

Which fic? :D

9/14/2009 #3
Quaystor

Fanfiction is The Sage's shtick. You might wanna try something else.

9/15/2009 #4
The Dragon Lover

Why? Is there only one food critic in the world? Movie critic? Game critic? I don't see why I shouldn't do something just because someone else is doing it.

9/15/2009 #5
Glory For Sleep

Yeah, I gotta agree with DL.

Besides, I would like to hear what you would say about I Woke Up In A Car...

:D

9/15/2009 #6
The Dragon Lover

Ooh, I'd love to do that, too. :D And it'd be a serious review as well, considering how amazing and awesome you are. *mauled* (I'll try not to be biased.)

9/15/2009 #7
Glory For Sleep

8D

I can't wait to see it! (If you do decide to do it.) It's going to be awesome!

Because you're awesome, too. :D

9/15/2009 #8
The Dragon Lover

Heehee, okay, okay, don't butter me up, or it'll just be me going on and on about how much it pwns. XP

Now, to figure out how I'm going to keep it short and stop myself from just reading aloud the entire thing....

9/15/2009 #9
Blazing Sceptile

Just one question.

Are these the same as reviews? *shotsniperedsmashedtrashedbasheddashedagainstawallandfallsbeforebeingrunoverbyaconvoyofAPCsandTigerTanks*

9/16/2009 #10
Sgt.Shank

Well, I think that

1. You'd be great at it,

2. It would be aweseome if you did "The legend of the Harbinger".

9/16/2009 #11
The Dragon Lover

Well, essentially, yes, but instead of me gushing over the story and begging for an update, it'd be an actual serious critique where I point out things that make or break the story.

Haha, alright, I'll add "The legend of the Harbinger" to the list. XP

9/16/2009 #12
Blazing Sceptile

@DL: I see. You can do Wanderer if you want.

9/17/2009 #13
EssentiallyCrazy

Which fic? :D

Hum...

-Shrugs- I dunno; none of them are very good.

Combimon or Eon Guardians, then?

9/17/2009 #14
Quixiote

When it get's out......I hope someone will critique my Gracefulmoonshipping fic..........

9/18/2009 #15
The Dragon Lover

Alright, I'll pick one of them and do it when my throat gets better, alright? :D

Um, Rabbit, which one is that? *can't tell* ^w^;

9/18/2009 #16
Quixiote

@DL: I have to edit it then the rest of the fanfic stuff.......

9/18/2009 #17
EssentiallyCrazy

Alright, I'll pick one of them and do it when my throat gets better, alright? :D

'Kay! ^^

9/18/2009 #18
The Dragon Lover

Awesome! :D

Alright, in a little while, I'll start to critique...Eon Guardians? Hmm...

9/18/2009 #19
The Dragon Lover

*mauled for double-posting*

Yeah, I decided to do Eon Guardians. ^w^

Oh, and I've decided, in order not to spoil everything, I'll only review the first chapter to stories. There may be exceptions, but otherwise I'm basically telling you everything and it defeats the purpose of going to read the story, ya know?

Edit: Putting video up on Youtube ASAP! :D

Edit2: AND IT'S UP. 8D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S9kzmKX3IU

Watch naow plz? And tell me how to not FAIL UTTERLY. - 3 -

9/18/2009 . Edited 9/18/2009 #20
DB the Unknown

I saw the video, DL, and I must say I'm impressed. Feel free to review any of my stuff when you get around to it.

9/18/2009 #21
Glory For Sleep

-has just watched the video-

...

XD

Wow, you weren't kidding when you said this was going to be a "serious" critique.

With that in mind, I'm extra excited for when you do I Woke Up In a Car. :D I know there are probably tons of things wrong with that story, but you'll be able to point them out to me in an interesting way. x3

And your voice reminds me of someone I used to know...

Um...

...crap, I can't remember who! Dx

This is gonna bother me all day...

9/18/2009 #22
The Dragon Lover

:O

No way.

You guys liked it?

Hell, I was about to do a review-vid on my own review-vid to point out all of the terribleness in it. XD

But, damn, if Glory and DB say it's good, than by the power of Mewtwo, it must be good!

I'll add you to the list and pick a story when I get to you, DB!

Well, tell me when you think of that person, Glory. XD And as I've said earlier, I'll only review the first chapter (while hinting to how the story progresses after that) to avoid major spoilers. XP

9/19/2009 #23
EssentiallyCrazy

My stories all sucked back then... X'D Heh, maybe I should have offered one of my stories-to-be-written instead...

Video was awesome though! You'd make a great critique!

9/19/2009 #24
The Dragon Lover

XP

Really? I'm surprised, I really didn't think it was that great. Oh, well!

9/19/2009 #25
Silence Divine

YES DL IT WAS GOOD SO STOP SAYING IT WASN'T.

Now, if only I could follow my own advice. XP

9/19/2009 #26
Quaystor

I am rather cynical, expecting stuff to be bad until it has proven otherwise.

To be honest, I'm rather surprised. Pleasantly, for that matter. You got a lot of potential, and you'll greatly improve by doing more reviews.

I do have some critique though: first off is the video quality. If you want to do more reviews, you WILL need a better camera. The framerate was pretty bad, and I could pretty much count the pixels. You might want to look into another mic as well, but get the camera first. Second, a little bit of the randomness is not bad, but keep it to a minimum. Too much "randomness" makes you appear unserious, and people won't respect your opinions if they don't take you serious.

Then again, it was your first review, and you'll get the hang of it. Just keep doing your thing.

Now on the content, I agree with your opinion about Eevee. TOO MUCH OF IT. Why people like it? Because it's the perfect combination from "cute" and wild at the same time. You don't want to mess with foxes though: they can end you. The parents are a similar thing though, I think it's because people of that age want to become independant from their parents. If there's a good reason for no parents though; do it.

And how makes the protagonist appear Shadow Balls from thin air? With SCIENCE, of course!

9/19/2009 #27
Idk wat my name is

Eh... Bop bop bop, bump to the top? *Shot*

...Yeah. Anyways, I was just wondering if you were doing this anymore. I saw that you said you were on your profile. Because if you are, well....

1/21/2010 #28
extreme-pikachu

I'm gonna post a fic soon, I'm not sure about how good it is................

1/21/2010 #29
Idk wat my name is

@GR: Um, I'm thinking that you're confusing this topic as something else....

@EX: Why don't you try to get a beta?

1/21/2010 #30
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