Oblivion RP and Discussion
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thejadefalcon

Once upon a time, there was a newbie who liked to write fics with bad spelling and Mary-Sues on this forum. Due to legal lulz, his name has, in this example, been changed to "Depressing Typing Epidemic." The following is an example of how not to be seen... I mean, how not to create a character and respond to moderators. Some of these posts were modified, so they're not in their original form.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: Hey can I be a Mazken/dark seducer guard from the shivering Ilses?

thejadefalcon: I'm sending Graves your way.

DardreiGraves: Sure, just know that this means that you will be playing a Daedra. :3 This comes with both pros and cons, so watch out.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: right then, but do explain, what would be the cons?

thejadefalcon: Graves is the TES Canon encyclopaedia, but I'm guessing that a lot of characters (take my Cassandra above) would dearly love to see your character dead...

Depressing Typing Epidemic: what are the pros?

DardreiGraves: The pro's are being immortal, having had years to train, infinate chracter background and tools to build with, and easily believable to have been to every part of Nirn. :3 Cons are that he can be summoned, can't be on Nirn without getting pull sickness, MUST serve whoever summons him, can be soul trapped with a regular gem and...a few other things, not to mention SOCIAL stigmas.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: She, mazken, you know, the prince of madness guards?

DardreiGraves: Yes, I am very well aware of what a Dark Seducer is and when they first appeared in TES, and what they do. Was that a question~? :3

Depressing Typing Epidemic: no it wasn't. But she would be mistaken for a night elf though, so long as no one looked at her eyes.

DardreiGraves: This is true. But yeah, go ahead. Make a character, pull up a sheet, and I'll be on my way to approving you. Welcome to the forums!

Depressing Typing Epidemic: Full Name: Nim Runic

Nickname (if applicable): Nim

Gender:Female

Age: 157

Weapons (if applicable): modified Dark seducer Longsword,bow and arrow. her sword drains the health of her opponents while the bow and arrow combo make a large explosion.

Armour (if applicable): Dark seducer armor with shield.

Animals (if applicable): N/A

Other Items (if applicable): A bed roll and some books to keep herself free from boredom.

Race: Mazken

Place of Birth: great well(or something)

Alignment (if applicable): Nim doesn't fight for good or evil, this came from severing one master. But she is growing a sense of right and wrong for herself,

Appearance:A daedra that looks similar to a dunmer, Nim is near identical to about every Mazken out there. She would be if it wasn't for her scar over her right eye. One that she gained from a golden saint.

Hair: loose style, dark blue

Eyes: dark purple(feel free to correct me on anything)

Build: lean and well built.

Likes: other dark seducers. Pie, reading.

Dislikes: golden saints. Water, getting sea sick.

Fears: Water, She has no idea why, but tamriel water scares the crap out of her. She also gets sea sick very quickly.

Personality: Nim is shown to be calm and patient, but can be shown to be easily disheartened. This trait could come from when sheogorath turned into jyggala.

History:When the original sheogorath turned out to to Jyggalag, Nim became disheartened with following the new one, as such, she began wandering the Isles in search of a new master. Much to her chagrin, a daedric worshipper summoned her for a wife. He used an advanced summoning tool that made her stay in this world. Permanently. Enraged by this fact, Nim killed the summoner and set off on her own to find a way back into her home realm.

DardreiGraves: Okay, yes, as a Daedra, we know that she is going to be immortal. What we really want to know is just how long she has been around. Standard armor, that is fine, but after being on Tamriel, she has been allowed to keep it? Put Mazken as race, please please please make her a person in her own right and fix the alignment to suit her personality. And please give her that. Personality. Expand more on everything. Her likes, her dislikes, what she truely fears, make her a PERSON. And please please please please please.....don't give us a link for her appearance...that tells us nothing about your writing skills.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: I know, I suck at writing character sheets. Any way you think you can help?

DardreiGraves: XD My reply was nothing but suggestions, dearie.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: .....please don't call me dearie.

DardreiGraves: Okay, we'll make a deal. I won't call you 'dearie', and you fix up your character sheet. Deal~?

Depressing Typing Epidemic: deal.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: Okay, I think I fixed it.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: hey graves? I think I fixed it.

thejadefalcon: Graves has vanished temporarily. I'm not too sure where. It looks... halfway there to me. I still think it needs more work though. And the bow being called Kaboom... seriously?

Depressing Typing Epidemic: its a joke, I made the bow in game and its pretty funny. I can change it if you want.

thejadefalcon: Please. It just doesn't seem serious enough.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: okay I erased the name.

thejadefalcon: You can have another name if you'd like. Just... Kaboom seemed wrong. Needs a more mystical name.

And question: Why don't you like "dearie?"

Depressing Typing Epidemic: It makes me feel... I don't know, small? weak? Its just one of those things that I don't like.

DardreiGraves: Sorry, I had gone off to play guitar for the boyfriend. Anywho...

Appearance:A daedra that looks similar to a night elf, Nim is near identical to about every Mazken out there. She would be if it wasn't for her scar over her right eye. One that she gained from a golden saint. Nim is also one of the few mazkens that has hair.

There are just a few things wrong about that. Mazken are vastly different from eachother, just as men, mer, and Hist. Also, almost every Mazken has hair. You probably just haven't seen it because of their helmets, but trust you me, they have hair, and often style it too. Also, please stop calling them Night Elves. Dark Elf or Dunmer is suitable, Night Elves make me think of WoW.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: whoops, sorry. I'll fix it.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: Okay I fixed it. Lest I believe it to be fixed.

DardreiGraves: Likes: other dark seducers. Pie, reading.

.......

Pie....? I assume there is a good reason for this? Daedra usually aren't ones to eat food from Mundus....

Fears: Water, She has no idea why, but tamriel water scares the crap out of her. She also gets sea sick very quickly.

I would also like more reasoning on this, please expand.

Build: lean and well built.

Detail please. Take a look at TelVaren's Argonians, prime expamle of writing there, or any one elses if you need more help.

"better?"

Almost, you're getting there.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: This is hard. Also whats pull sickness?

DardreiGraves: Come now, you've written a few stories, you know what a task writing is and how much effort is put into it.

Daedra are very intuned with their home worlds, and without an anchor (such as a summoner, or in your case, a tool), they feel the Pull to go back to their home plane. They get physically ill steadily the longer they stay away from home.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: I have written a few stories, but I've always gone at my own pace.

:O Really? That's harsh. Anyway to counteract it?

DardreiGraves: Yes really. It's one of the Cons of playing a Daedra character. You didn't think immortality was free, did you?

Depressing Typing Epidemic: When is anything free?

thejadefalcon: Ooh, ooh, ooh! I know this one! The little taste testing things in supermarkets! They let you have free stuff in the hopes you'll buy it!

DardreiGraves: To answer your question, there are a few ways to counter act it. Making them a vampire would anchor them to Nirn instead, but it's also daedra play, as Vampirism is in the Realm of Molag Bal. So not only would HE get to choose the type of vampirism she would recieve, but she would also have to switch her alliance to him, on TOP of the cons of being a vampire.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: Way to ruin the moment jade, I was trying to be dramatic.

Jeeze, sounds like there's more cons then pros.

thejadefalcon: I'm good at that. XD

DardreiGraves: Well, you DID want to make a Mazken character. Daedra are tough to play/make. It probably wasn't the wisest choice to start off with something like a Mazken. Feel free to scrap Nim and make a Tamrielic race.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: I'll make due.

DardreiGraves: Do. And please, DO tell me how you will make do. So far, there is nothing on this character sheet that tells about how she deals with being in Mundus, why she just didn't break the tool, how she acts around humans...etc etc etc....Please keep expanding.

TelVaren-Blackflaime: You could just make a Dunmer first...They're similar to Mazken in personality and looks

Depressing Typing Epidemic: ugh, forget it, I'm making a new character.

DardreiGraves: Sounds good, go ahead and write it up.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: okay, and jade?

chuck norris.LOL

DardreiGraves: To be clear, I never approved of that!!

thejadefalcon: Hey! Back then, it was a different story! Back then, we had an admin.

DardreiGraves: -noogies- :3 True. How times have changed...-loads up a shotgun and fires at Wheeler-

Depressing Typing Epidemic: Full Name: Dracanuis aslyess

Nickname (if applicable): drac, storm eyes, bringer of storms.

Gender: Male

Age: 35

Weapons (if applicable): a Small auto firing crossbow, the reason its automatic is because of its enchantments, Its attuned to the amounts of arrows drac has on hand. Elven short-sword.

Armour (if applicable): leather armor with chain mail underneath, no helmet

Animals (if applicable): N/A

Other Items (if applicable): A bed roll,pot, tent, and a couple books

Race: dunmer

Place of Birth:Narsis,morrowind.

Alignment (if applicable): his own,but used to be evil.

Appearance: Drac is short, standing at 5.6ft, his body is covered from head to toe with scars and messing flesh. His skin tone is onyx.

Hair:natural style, blue black,

Eyes:instead of red eyes like most dark elves, he has dark purple eyes with arcs of gold.

Build: Has a lean and well toned build, but is ravaged by the scars of many battles.

Likes: cookies, reading, and well having fun.

Dislikes:Needless killing. And general rudeness.

Fears:Cryophobia- Fear of extreme cold, ice or frost.

Personality: He often at times displays foolish traits to throw off his opponents, but should the need arise, drac becomes determined,focused, and calm.

History: Dracanuis's was born on the streets of narsis without any knowledge of his family save a gold locket. No orphanage would welcome him due to his eyes he received from his mother. Once however, an orphanage did welcome him, but was quickly throw out due to his... Resistance to authority. No one would accept him, but one did, a high elf know only as "master" he raised dracanuis as his own child, even teaching him the ways of combat. Much to dracanuis surprise, he had a natural talent for combat and command.

Master then told him they were going to gather an army, he said that"This country is deeply corrupted, we will make it better." Eventually, two became ten,ten became one hundred , then one hundred, one thousand.

After several years of being a grunt Dracanuis became a squad leader, then a captain, until finally, the secondary commander of the army. But alas, all those years of fighting has taken its toll on drac's mind and now suffers from PTSD and Cryophobia. This mainly came from a trip into the mountains, where he nearly friezed to death.

Dracanuis's army looked like they were going to win, until a group of heroes stop them. Not only that but master was growing more and more insane. In an failed attempt to escape the heroes, master stabbed dracanuis in the back under his left shoulder blade, hoping that his body would distract the enemy forces, but this one act caused dracanuis's will turn sorrow, then sorrow turned to grief, then grief turned to rage. In this rush of anger, Drac rose, manged to avoid his enemy's blades and run into a nearby Forest. Ever since the time of master's death, he has been hunted with a bounty of five hundred billion gold.

TelVaren-Blackflaime: 500 billion gold??? Seriously? You know....Lost has slaughtered over a thousand people......and his bounty has only just barely past 300,000. His infamy is over 1000 right now. Drac being 2nd in command wouldn't give him that big of a bounty. Hell, if he ran off and left them alone then they'd all feel better off, just as long as no one sees him again. And if they did, they might not even remember.

Depressing Typing Epidemic: ...He's killed a lot of people and do me a favor and don't tell me what to put in MY character history.

DardreiGraves: Okay Depressing Typing Epidemic, I am wondering if you are familiar with the phrase "Mary-Sue". In case you aren't.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue ....

Now, with that in mind, please look over both of your characters and consider. What are you over exaggerating? Do you know enough to play this race reasonably? What is their personality? What more is behind their history? Is this a person, or just a polished avatar?

thejadefalcon: Depressing Typing Epidemic, TelVaren is under consideration to be a moderator. She is highly knowledgable with TES (as is Graves), more so than either of us. Please listen to her?

Depressing Typing Epidemic: Yes I am fully aware of what a stu is, but in my defense, Dracanuis is a dark elf because of the dark tone of their skin, nothing more, nothing less, besides, not every dark elf has the same traits as the others.

Also, the reason the bounty is so high is not because the fact of the 2nd command thing, but from all the bounty hunters that were after his 3,000 gold bounty which escalated into 500,000,000.

DardreiGraves: So this guy has 166,666 bounty hunters after him...? Dude, not that many people live in Alaska, and I very much doubt there are that many bounty hunters in all of Tamriel. The craft is too hard and too long, and the poupulation just can't support that many mercs and hunters. And no, not every dark elf has the same traits, but red eyes and dark skin is a Daedric curse by Azura, not a genetic thing.

thejadefalcon: Also, if there were that many after him... well, he'd have been captured within a day.

DardreiGraves: Also, the only way that would esclate into 500 million gold would be if they all caught him, chopped him up into 500 million pieces, and then turned him in at 3000 gold a piece.

hanielkun: Graves and Telvaren know what there talking about (All though even I know of the Dunmer and Azura'scurse, if not the details) and well if they have advise to give you take it into consideration.

And there is no way a bounty office would give you 3000g for 1/500mill of someone.

thejadefalcon: Well, you don't have to, I suppose, but it's strongly advised.

The End

Depressing Typing Epidemic was never heard from again. Everyone had a good collective sigh and then deleted all of his posts. What is the moral of the story? Don't annoy the moderators (there was a lot of behind-the-scenes "oh, for the love of..."), please use proper spelling and don't use Mary-Sues. Thank you for reading.

2/11/2010 . Edited 2/11/2010 #1
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