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Madame Apathy

This is just me having a rant about the lack of basic research for Twilight in no particular order. Feel free to add to the list.


1) The sparkles, aka the biggest fail in the history of literature

According to Meyer, vampire's cells contain a substance harder than diamonds. Therefore, their skin is hard and reflective like crystals. But if their cells are hardened by the substance, wouldn't they just be paralysed?

2) Rosalie's past

Meyer writes that Rosalie wasn't affected by the Great Depression in New York because her father owned a bank. The depression was caused by the banks so if anything, she should have been most affected. This is basic american history. I'm english and live in England, yet I know this, so Meyer has no excuse.

3) The hybrid pregnancy

Edward's body is frozen. Therefore he wouldn't be producing sperm, the same as Rosalie doesn't ovulate. The explanation meyer gave was venom, but surely that would just dissolve into Bella's bloodstream and make her a vampire. Furthermore, an erection and therefore ejaculation depends entirely on blood flow, and Edward has no pulse. Therefore, how did he... you know... in the first place?

As well as this, venom slows the aging process, so shouldn't the pregnancy be longer than normal for a human rather than ridiculously fast?

4) Reneesme's chromosomes

The name in itself is a fail, but I'm not going to get into that. When ane egg is fertilised, the egg cell and sperm cell have 23 chromosomes each, giving the child 23 pairs in every cell. According to the book, Edward has 25 pairs of chromosomes, meaning his sperm would have 25 chromosomes which paired with Bella's 23 gives the demon child 24 pairs of chromosomes. This would mean she has an extra pair. So technically speaking, she has a form of trisomy. Yet she suffers no symptoms at all, instead even being stated to be intelligent.

5) Imprinting

One of the reasons for imprinting is apparently to have children. So why are they able to imprint on young children?

On another note, Meyer's description of imprinting is effectively that children are brought up partly by their "soulmate" who will give them anything they want and eventually begin a sexual relationship.It's implied that a werewolf would enter an irrational rampage and badly hurt/kill the imprintee if she rejected him. That, to me, sounds like grooming.

6) Leah's Menopause

Imprinting iis apparently a method of finding a mate for finding a mate likely to produce more werewolves. As one herself, Leah should be the ideal choice. However, changing to wolf form regularly apparently slows the aging process.

However, Jacob, Sam, Quil, Jared and Paul are able to imprint, which implies they are able to reproduce. If their sperm which is vreated daily is not affected by phasing, why are the eggs Leah was born with useless? if anything, it should be the other way round.

8/7/2010 . Edited 8/7/2010 #1

Don't forget Breaking Dawn. :/

9/15/2010 #2
Oh my god, vampires do NOT sparkle! they should be hidiing during the day, and killing people at night! sunlight should burn and kill vampires slowly and painfully!
3/4/2013 #3
Ziggy Starburst

And for another thing the vampires should be bald because we all regularly lose hair then regrow it but since they're dead they wouldn't regrow their hair so they would be bald.

My conclusion: if bram stoker got to heavan or whatever he has a dart board shaped like stephenie meyer's head, if not he is turning in his grave.

11/2/2013 #4
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