Hate Twilight? Here's the Place for You
A place for all of those who dislike the Twilight series to gather and discuss. Hilarity ensues.
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calcudoku

I started this at another site (the same site where I got called an inbred XP) and well, I decided to move it here.

Basically, you just write a letter to a Twilight character, Meyer, or even the Twilight books. You could impersonate another character or write it yourself.

I'll start:

Dear Edward,

I know where you live.

Sincerely, Buffy

9/15/2010 #1
Molly Annice

Dear Cullens,

You are all a rainbow of light and joy to the monster community. If you do not cease and desist these horrifying acts. I will take things into my own hand and I will guarantee that things will not be so pretty anymore.

Your Truely,

Wednesday Addams

9/15/2010 #2
calcudoku

Dear Edward,

You sing/play lullabies to your lover, Spike sings/plays fucking ROCK BALLADS to his. I think we have a winner.

Dancing

9/16/2010 #3
Skyuni123

Dear Edward Cullen

Nikola Tesla from Sanctuary kicks your ass. And BTW, Vampires don't sparkle.

Sincerely, Skyuni123 and most of the Sanctuary watching sane population

10/19/2010 #4
Welsh Gem

Dear Bella,

Why didn't you just dump the sparkling sap AND the stupid mutt. You do know that you can live with out both of them. Find yourself s nice normal person who doesn't glitter and almost puke every time they kiss you.

From Welsh Gem

P.S.

I have drawings of you crying. They are funny to look at. Haha.

2/19/2011 #5
the-poetry-of-ink

Dear Edward Cullen,

You are a rude prick who obviously doesnt believe in womans rights. You always make decisions for Bella and often sneak into her room unnanounced. She shouldnt even love you. She should be with Alice but I do prefer that she be with you rather than Jacob...Edward you are thee worst vampire to ever exsist and you dissapoint me constantly with each page i turn. You are a idiot to not even consider Victoria before leaving in New Moon. Youre a freaking vampire! You are an idiot and Carlisle shouldve let you die....

P.S BELLA BELONGS WITH ALICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2/21/2011 #6
Welsh Gem

Dear Edward Cullen,

You are a sick minded pervert who stares at desperate, gullible girls while thry sleep. You are a paedophile. If I catch you standing under an umbrella in the sunlight, I will snatch it and run away while screaming at the top of my lungs "Run, sparkling bitch, run!"

From Welsh Gem

2/23/2011 #7
Welsh Gem

Dear Jacob Black,

You may find my letter to Edward (above) funny but don't think I will not kill you. If I see your emo little pack running around, I will run you all over with my dad's car then play Opera while you die. You and your pack will then beg me to kill you all but I will refuse and watch you suffer.

From Welsh Gem

2/23/2011 #8
Letter to Miss

Dear Alice Cullen,

If you were a lesbian, I would hit Edward with my truck.

Sincerely,

Bella

6/29/2011 #9
GoddessOfCreativity

Dear Jacob,

FORGET BELLA!!! She doesn't deserve you. I don't under why the hell you keep hoping she will you over that sparkly b*tch Edward. She has -on many occasions- rubbed in your face the fact that she DOESN'T love you and just wants to be your friend. Edward has her cold, dead, selfish heart. She only wants him, the real reason she keeps saying she wants you in her life too is because she doesn't want to leave you out since your her best friend (rolling l my l eyes). In my opinion, you should be with Leah. She needs someone to help her heal from the whole Sam fiasco. And I know for a fact you two hotheads would have some VERY hot makeout sessions [winkwinknudgenudge].

Love Always,

Libbie

7/15/2011 #10
witchbeyondmeasure

Dear Twilight,

I discovered you when I was young and impressionable, and fell into the fangirl trap, before I realized the only reason people like the books so much is because Bella is such an easy character to self-insert. Then a dear friend introduced me to Buffy, and as they say, the rest is history. Now I only look at these books to work on parody fics, where I mock you. And I only ever liked the wolfpack, anyway.

So, um, good luck with the whole "Sparkle" thing, and the vamp baby situation.

Sincerely,

BookLuvver

7/23/2011 #11
tanadhari

Dear Edweirdo, Bell-LOSER, Spiky-Pixy, and Miniature Loch Ness Monster,

Yeah..... you should really take your sparkly, pansy selves, out of Twilight and give it to the real vampires. You know, HUMAN blood-drinking, scary, fangs. I bet you've never even heard of them. Oh, well. At least step out and let the vampies who could make sparkles remotely work give it a shot. (Jazper, cuz he's hot, and Rose, cause she's a bitch that tells it like it is).

11/18/2011 #12
Kuroneko388
Dear Stephanie Meyer, Y oh y did u make this monstrosity u call a book? Was the devil talking in ur ear to tell u to kill literature? Or did u just hate vampires, and wanted to fool us into believing bloodthirsty sparkly fearies were vampires?
12/3/2011 #13
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