Well....here I am, after all this time. I haven't kept track of how long it's been exactly, but at least 4 years or so. My memory has a habit of failing me, but...well, before I get to that, I'd like to clear up a few things. First, this is not an RP topic. It's me, blinded by nostalgia, burying this forum, as there is no one else left to do it. Second, I have not received approval for this topic. That means f*** all, though, since the creator of this forum left about 23 hours ago, give or take. I guess that's what it took to finally make me realize that this is now a graveyard, a graveyard of my memories. This was not my first RP forum, but was one of the first. Akane, Adonia, Shiruba, they're all gone now. I've no idea how to contact the latter, and that will soon be the case with the former as well, as she'll likely be deleting her account, or it will be auto-wiped at some point. I was here in the prime of this place, and I will not lie about one thing. I took it all for granted. I assumed that all of this would be here forever, that it, that we, were invincible. Obviously, that's not the case, and soon, this forum will be lost like so many others, forgotten by all. I will try to keep it in my memory, and in my heart, but I will die, and the thought of this place along with me.
I fully realize no one will read this, and if anyone does, no one will care, but I...hell, I don't know. Maybe I just want to write this down, maybe I'm just too god damn egotistical for my own good. Whatever the reason, the fact that this place is going to die is a thought I'm not comfortable with. I watched as those that once called this place home faded away. I wish them all luck, though they'll never see this, and I didn't see it at the time. I figured, as long as a few people were left, it was okay. Now that is no longer the case, and I am amazed at how blind I was all along. I didn't realize how wonderful this place was until it was gone, and I'll admit, I could've, should've done better. If I knew, back then, that this was going to be dead by now, I'd have done more, participated more. It's ironic that most considered me stoic, which, at the time, I was, shutting out the world around me, and now I'm getting so emotional over the fact that it's over now, and nothing I can say or do will bring it back. I stand here, in the crumbled ruins of my memories, and wonder, how did this place change me? Chances are, I'll never know.
At this point, this has become too long winded. I keep typing only because I know, when I stop, when I submit this topic, this place will be good and truly dead. No one else will post here, and as soon as I stop, so does the heartbeat, pathetic as it may be, of this forum. As futile as it is, I need a few more minutes to reconcile the fact that it's done. Well, I'll need more than that, but I will not get it. I look over this topic, and I have many regrets. I should've tried to stay in contact with those that left. Maybe if I had Adonia's email address, we could still talk from time to time. It is a stupid thought, but one I entertain nonetheless. Akane told me, in the message I found, too late, I might add, that she was moving on. It's time for me to do the same, though I have no desire to. Change is not something I can come to terms with easily, but I suppose, at this point, I'm used to saying goodbye.
When the truth walks away, everybody stays, 'cuz the truth about the world is that crime does pay
So if you walk away, who's gonna stay? 'Cause I'd like to think the world is a better place
I'd like to leave the world as a better place
I'd like to think the world....5/28/2011 . Edited 5/29/2011 #1
|Forsaken Dark Prince
You're wrong about no one reading this.
Whether you think it was egotistical or something along those lines to post this topic I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing so because I feel the exact same way about things as you do and it's a horrible twisted feeling. There's so much that I regret not doing that it's maddening to even think about, but I can still promise to remember this place for what it was and not what it has become.
I will not allow this place and the people who Rped here tot fade from my memory.5/29/2011 . Edited 5/29/2011 #2
... I'm seriously speechless...5/29/2011 #3
Roavy this is beautiful =] I'll be stayin around for a little bit longer. Probably will leave in a day or so. I will love, and miss, and NEVER forget any of you!!5/29/2011 #4
Well at least could we e-mail you or have some way to keep in touch with you, Akane...5/30/2011 #5
I don't use my e-mail adress, but if you want to contact me I'll try to check my inbox on here often =]5/30/2011 #6
That's really powerful, I gotta say. It kinda moved me.
Though, I don't think I'll ever be leaving here permanently until every last person does.6/6/2011 . Edited 6/6/2011 #7
|ninja master denkou
It's even sad to me...and I was banned for most of this forums life...for various reasons...sorry Akane...6/9/2011 #8
|Sage of the White Sands
You know, this forum doesn't have to die.6/9/2011 #9
|Drifter of the Forgotten Ones
And it seems, surprisingly enough, I am one of the last of our group to view the forums one last time. Heh, y'know, I sometimes miss our old threads and have a hard time trying to remember what exactly happened in each, and recently I stopped by on my iPod to find a few old threads I've been wanting to reread. And they wouldn't let me access another page. Thinking something was wrong on my iPod, I go on the computer the next day to find out all the thread I had been wanting to read were gone. It's such a damn pity that Fanfiction must delete old threads, and memories, of ours, but it seems they are still paving a way for others to come and have their own adventures on these forums.
I guess the old saying still stands true. "The only thing certain in life, is death." That saying applies to many things, whether living or not. This forum lasted for a few more years even after I had left, which I was very glad to see happen. I'd still drop in once in a while, talk for a few, visit old RPs of ours, but... Never thought I couldn't see them again. Life has a funny way of working, often in ways we cannot see. To avoid a dispute about religion, I will simply stick with the term 'Life.' Although... I kinda forget where I was going with this.
I was going to make a long winded speech about everything. But, I feel that no one will look at this, and the words are slipping from my fingers so I do not know how to say it.
Instead I will say this:
Thank you, dearly forgotten Forum. For all the memories. No matter what, this place helped shape me, and looking back I've grown so much over the years.
I'm still lurking around every so often if someone wants to contact me. I'm sure no one will read this at this point, and all the connections (save Bri) are lost from me. I know no one knows where Adonia ran off to, and she was one that I wanted to remain in contact with (much like everyone else). Still, I wouldn't mind chatting with you all again, even if it's little chats that we have time for.
But for now, au revoir, Beloved Forum.
Au Revoir.8/19/2011 #10
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